sleeping with an ex while in a long distance relationship with a guy you havent met..

Sarah28Sarah28 what's your story? PExer
im in a long distance relationship with a guy i have yet to meet in person then im sleeping with an ex...
my ex knows that i am in relationship with what he calls an "imaginary bf" and i feel that he's trying to win me back, we're exclusively dating for less than a month now.
while i consider the other guy for marriage/long term plans given that he has serious plans for us and i can love him long time..he is based in the states.

im a bit confused...
am i such a cheater? would you appreciate for your comments and thoughts.


  • diana_tunadiana_tuna hallerrr... PExer
    hmm... if youd ask me, i think i might do the same thing. kasi ang daming risk dun sa long distance bf mo. you havent met him. laki ng risk na hindi kayo magclick once you meet in person. dami jan nagcclick online or on the phone na hindi nagclick once theyve met. kaya cguro youre not ending the relationship with your ex din. just in case hindi magwork dun sa isa.

    does the long distance bf know about your ex? (malamang hinde ang dumdum ko tlga heheh)
  • NilsNils Hunter PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    hmmm... nice situation...

    two cents...
    its easy to talk... i can make all the plans i want... i can say it, i can share it... but in the end, you still need to meet and see for yourself if the plans are real, the person you say you love is real, and the love you feel for him is real...

    bedding ur ex....
    ur human, u got needs... thats the simple part
    the one where he wants to patch things up... well, that's a bit more complicated... we don't know you, we don't know him, we don't know why you broke up so we cant help you with that part...
  • st.angerst.anger Domo! PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    yes, you're a such cheater. and yes, your bf has a point with the "imaginary bf."
  • pokerbuffpokerbuff Recovering Lurker PExer
    It's cheating when you don't want your significant other to know about it. Whether it's flirting, a text message, an email, a kiss, or an affair.
  • mystifymystify Member PExer
    yes you are a cheater.. how else do you expect to be called? :rolleyes:
  • shychicshychic paradoxical PExer
    Complicated. You considered someone as a bf even without actually seeing or being with him? thats quite tricky. How sure are you he's being totally faithful to you?

    Being in exclusive dates with an 'ex' means you're considering getting back together. Unless you and ex subscribe to the FUBU idea, you won't have any problem with him.

    Teka, what's the question again? :lol:

    Ah, about the cheating stuff. Hmm, if you already commit (I-love-you-lets-grow-old-together-plans) to the LDR guy, then, you are indeed cheating on him.

    If you really want stability and future, I'd say stop fooling around with your 'ex' and be a good girl. That's so easy to say but it won't keep you warm at night. lol

    If you can't really help it, just let the LDR go. If you must play, be fair.

    Just MHO.
  • purpleheadd07purpleheadd07 Babae po ako PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    wow, gettin the best of both worlds huh! havin some guy out there workin his butt off and who you could someday marry and here you are gettin all the free shaggin??? tsalap naman!!!:naughty2:
  • kuting_kittenkuting_kitten Beach, please. PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    cheater, maybe? but that's not validated for me until you meet this guy you call "boyfriend." your ex has a point calling him imaginary. and dear, how would you know you want to be this dude forever when you haven't even met him in the first place?

    i wonder how long have you been "together" through the long-distance thing. because if it has been too long, there's no excuse that you haven't met up yet especially if you claim to be serious lovers.
  • aajaoaajao Moderator PEx Moderator
    you're selfish. sorry but it's how i see you in the situation you are in to. you just think of yourself. and you don't care about the two men in your life. look: you want the man in the states for what? your future. and you sleep with your ex for what reason? your present. wow.

    reminder to you, girl: men are human, too. if you believe you have feelings and capable of being hurt, we guys are just as the same.
  • jhonnzjhonnz Member PExer
    make up your mind before it's too late. whether you like it or not you have to make a decision before you hurt the other person and destroy his plans for you. karma strikes anytime so don't wait for it before you make a move. if you really want to be with the guy who can give you a better future then you have to accept the present situation and be loyal to him even if he's away. Kung hindi mo talaga kontrolin ang kal!bugan mo eh di wag mo paasahin pa ang taong gusto mong makasama habang buhay.
  • malupetakomalupetako Member PExer
    yep you are a bit selfish..

    parang nangyayari gingamit mo lang yung sa long distance want to have a secured future pero in the meantime enjoy muna with your ex habang nabbgay nya pa yung kelangan mo..

    if i were you, try mo muna papuntahin dyan yung taga states, at least spend time a foundation kung baga..mahirap yung may relationship kayo tpos ni yakap wala..kahit papano sympre hahanapin mo parin yun sa taong mahal mo..or mamahalin mo sa future diba?

    pigilan mo muna yung sa ex mo kung talagang gusto mo magwork yung para sa future mo..
  • bobathaibobathai Member PExer
    complicated situation mo.
    if you "love" your "imaginary bf" and you`re sleeping with your ex, that`s what you would call cheating.
    but not exactly.
    because you haven`t met your bf.
    in fact, you`re almost saying you don`t love your bf. gusto mo lang yung security and future na ibibigay nia sayo.
    malay mo kung ano talaga sya in real life.
    he maybe nice and all sa phone or whatsoever,
    but you can`t tell unless you actually meet him.
    if i were you i`d rather be with the ex.
    at least andun sya, to actually hug and kiss you,
    whereas yung bf mo eh super layo, at hindi mo pa nakikita.
  • stigrastigra Member PExer
    Kung naniniwala ka sa karma, itigil mo na yang ginagawa mo habang maaga pa. Di ka ba nakokonsensya sa taong niloko mo na walang kamalay malay sa mga ginagawa mo? Kawawa naman sila. Maawa ka na rin sa sarili mo at baka darating ang oras na di ka na makatulog sa gabi dahil sa ginagawa mong kalokohan. Cheaters and liars go to hell...pero habang buhay ka pa, magbago ka na bago mahuli ang lahat. Don't mess up your life and your loved ones' lives. Sayang ang oras.
  • NilsNils Hunter PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    i've already said my piece... pahabol na lang to...

    don't mind the others who say ur selfish... all of us are... we all want to be happy and try to get what we believe we deserve... :)

    anyway... here are some possibilities...

    ur LDR doesn't work out -
    coz ur Ex won you over -
    - no comment here, im sure the LDR would be hurt, but he'll heal, unless he's dumb and stupid and believes that while ur waiting for him no guy would see what he saw in you and woo you over...
    coz ur LDR found out about ur ex -
    - u have ur ex, he wants to get back together, then get back together... if he's good enuf for a shag every now and then... he'll keep for a while, til u find another guy or you decide to keep ex for life...

    u and LDR successfully pull it off -
    - u meet, u saw everything you hoped for, got everything you hoped for... and lived happily ever after... ex had his free booty, i dont think he'd be crying his heart out... boo-hoo-hoo
    - u meet, u like what you saw, u got some of the things u want, but he's lousy in bed... im sure the ex wouldnt mind having you from time to time...
    as i see it... its a win-win-win for you...
  • dropshotdropshot Member PExer
    ^^^saying that all of us are selfish doesn't justify the fact of the wrong being are you saying that all of your friends are doing drugs then its ok that you do too?
    that line of thinking is what defines many people nowadays and it is quite disappointing

    yes we all want to be happy but as much as possible not at the expense or hurt of somebody else, in your case one will definitely be hurt so much, but you'd have to decide soon, just curious, why don't you see your ex as your long time partner? could it be just good sex? also, i don't believe that you have an online bf, your ex is right, you may have verbally committed with your LDR but reality is that you are not a couple not unless you meet up in person and spend time together
  • infinite_trialinfinite_trial ♥ Drayer PExer
    ang hirap talaga ng hindi pa nagkikita...minsan iniisip mo kung tunay bang bf or imaginary/virtual lang. depends on kung ano ang napagusapan mo ng "imaginary bf" mo. kung exclusive na kayo sa isa't isa kahit di pa kayo nagkikita, cheating na yang ginawa mo. pero kung magiging exclusive pa lang kayo after ninyong magmeet...parang open rel ang labas nyan muna. ikaw kung feeling mo di mo matitiis na hindi makipagsex habang may bf ka sa malayo, and tingin mo naman open-minded sya...e di open rel muna kayo. problema na lang kung hindi sya papayag...either you leave him na para matuloy mo yang ginagawa mo with your ex ng walang kumukonsensya sayo...or stay with him and quit seeing your ex.
  • aajaoaajao Moderator PEx Moderator
    not all people are selfish. we may desire things but it is part of our duty to be responsible with what we do and be sensitive with the people around us, as we also desire for them to be sensitive with our needs. what we do speak well of our character as a person so be careful.

    anyway, it's there. it's probably not too late to think things over and decide where you can be better off between the two. having the best of both world may be enjoyable for the meantime but it will surely give you long-lasting nightmares in the future.

    "laging nasa huli ang pagsisisi." goodluck on your decision-making ;)
  • Sarah28Sarah28 what's your story? PExer
    thank you guys for your weighing things now. my plan is to
    continue seeing my ex, but ill keep the LDR bf until we meet so that I can better see if there will be sparks when we see in person.although I am sure that I can love this person I just need to get to know him more I guess. I had another LDR bf before him last year that didnt work out I was truly crazy inlove with that guy and believe me Im still very affected until now, I was kinda devastated thats why it made me skeptical and wary about this new LDR guy . at the back of my mind what if this is another failure? while my ex is so physically available for me but I could not see him opening up about future...

    what else can you say???
  • tungtungtungtung Member PExer
    what would you feel if you found out that your ex has a ldr relationship like you and only goes to you if his horny?hehehe

    your just playing safe. parang may reserba.hehehe
  • Sarah28Sarah28 what's your story? PExer
    ofcourse id be hurt , im a girl. but in a guy's perspective
    do you think my ex is hurt? i assume he's enjoying this since he's a guy...

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