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u know ur watching a filipino film when...

in action flicks
the lead character's wife always finds him in a cabaret with a booby starlet
also the lead character has a bumbling sidekick


  • if the title was inspired by a local song

  • what's so distinct with our films?? i can only think of 2 as of now...

    1. may song and dance number sa beach....

    2. parati na lang nag-uusap(sigawan, actually) muna yung bida and kontrabida bago sila magbarilan/magpatayan sa end ng movie...

  • CaRaMBaCaRaMBa Administrator PEx Moderator
    buttercup! naunahan mo ako!

    1) syempre song and dance number sa beach. but there are variations now, may song and dance number sa baguio, sa resort, etc...

    2) before the protagonist and antagonist shoot each other in an action movie, kwentuhan muna sila

    3) seems as if the guns in action movies are bent 'cause the bullets always hit the ground

    4) when someone is shot, instead of asking for help and calling for an ambulance, magkukwentuhan muna yung dying person and the protagonist of the movie

    5) the cars of the syndicates, even if the syndicates have a lot of money, are always 'bulok'... of course this is because in the end, these cars will blow up in the background and the action star and his leading lady will be running away from it

    6) the latest movie of an action star is always his best project to date, he almost died pa nga while shooting it eh

    7) whether or not the lead actor and actress have families, they will be linked to each other one way or another

    so far, those are the only things i can think of... ehehehehe
  • 1) The climax of the movie will definitely be the leading lady of the lead actor being kidnapped by the top villain, and then the rescue, and then tapos...

    2) Exchange of useless words bet. bida/kontrabida, then patayan..

    3) Spoof ng mga foreign films, pati title ginagaya...
  • uy, padagdag!

    1. a six-shot revolver can fire a hundred bullets without reloads.

    2. it's a "true-to-life" account of a cop, a soldier, or a crook.

    3. the sexy leading lady knows hand-to-hand combat and can deck a thug.

    4. the goofy sidekick can also whup *****.

    5. the good guy is so hard to kill and if he dies in the end, it's usually after he takes the head bad guy down.

    6. guns are so easy to come by, that in those very cases they run out of bullets, you can simply throw away an empty gun and pick up a fully loaded one.

    7. shotguns are long-range weapons.

    8. the sound and special effects are lousy.

    9. in a "comedy", the poor boys fall in love with rich girls who have rich suitors who happen to be bad guys or have links with the underworld. the rich girls love the poor boys back despite the objections of their matapobre parents, and sing and dance and chase each other down the beach to the latest local song or an adaptation of the most recent foreign hit. either song is lousy. after the bad rich guys kidnap the rich girls out of desperation, the poor unarmed boys go after them, bringing down heavily armed thugs and finally rescuing the rich girls in question. then the rich girls' parents suddenly find no objection to the poor boys; mabait pala, eh. and they get married and live happily ever after. credits roll.

    10. last, but not the least, it sucks.

    sorry if i sound so cruel. it's just that after watching the fourth andrew e. movie did i sense a pattern. i feel so... cheated.
  • eto pa...

    the usual sidekicks of action stars are comedians...

  • 1. a member of the family of the "bida" always dies and before that person dies, meron pang pabilin or "last words".

    2. song and dance number

    3. lahat ng cops may mistress.

    4. 1 man (the bida) can kill 10 men in one fight!

    5. a woman wearing a mini skirt can make a high kick! (parang si Annie ng Shaider)
  • 1. There's a kidnapping and it's a comedy.

    2. The congressman is crook and is played by that certain Guiterrez (spell check) actor.
  • palaging sa ending ang dating ng mga pulis.
  • CaRaMBaCaRaMBa Administrator PEx Moderator
    jeriko: hahahaha, yeah! true, true!


    1) The title is what they call the protagonist of the movie... "Alias Boy Pangit" or something like that.

    2) The actresses ALWAYS have their make up on, whether they are sleeping, in the province, cleaning the backyard, or whatever. This is true with TV shows too. Duh talaga.
  • 1. pag dramatic scenes di pwedeng walang sampalan
    2. sa action movies kahit magkaharap na bida and kontrabida mag-uusap muna bago magpatayan
    3. before dying magsasalita muna...itataas ang kamay as if hahawakan ang bida then hihinga nga malalim, then pipikit na
    4. always, late dumarating ang mga pulis
  • **When the lead actor is paired off with an actress that is young enough to be his apo sa tuhod!

    **When the lead actor is ugly, short, or fat (or all of the above) and still manages to catch himself a beauty queen whom can't act.

    **When you see people dancing and singing on the beach.

    **When it has BAD BAD BAD special effects.

    **When in a fight scene, 10 bad guys are each waiting for their turn to get beat-up by the lone "bida".

    **And most of all.. you know its a filipino movie when the lead actor (or actress) is wearing a white towel on his/her shoulder or a darn wristband!
  • pahabol...

    **The goodguy would get shot twice, fall off a 2nd story window, get beat up by 20 goons, and have his car blown up.. but at the end, when the cops finally come, he still manages to walks off with the leading actress.. with ABSOLUTELY NO MEDICAL ATTENTION given to him! Wow galing...

  • u guys said it all... so funee! :)

    additional... when it's a horror movie nakakatawa yung mga aswang sa movie, not scary like the manananggals and tiyanaks and the dwarves etc....
  • The lead actor's say the title of the movie:
    "Kapag puno na ang salop..."
    "Isang bala ka lang..."
    "Masahol ka pa sa hayop..."
  • ano pa ba?

    1. may sampalan ang bida at ang kontrabida. sa unang scene, masasampal pa ng kontrabida ang bida pero after an hour of the movie, matututo na ang bida tapos sasaluhin na niya ang kamay ng kontrabida tapos si bida na ang mananampal!!!

    2. pag may flying hero at may flying scene, always aerial view lang ang caught on camera tapos parang ginupit na litrato ng hero ang pine-paste para magmukhang lumilipad.

    3. pag may couple, they'll run towards each other from different ends, meet in the center, hug, then iikot!

    4. si FPJ, palaging pinopompyang ang tenga ng kalaban.

    5. the picnic scenes are usually done in a golf course where the grass is handsomely green, or if the movie is low budget, at the lawn of a big house.

    6. yung mga bold movies, they use foreign pop songs during the pumping scene, such as "my Heart Will Go On" or "Don't Say You Love Me" by the Corrs.
  • One more!

    U know ur watching a filipino film, when you end up feeling like a POW! SMACK! BAM! sign is about to pop up like in the old batman series while watching a fight sequence especially in a bar.

    ....I swear with the sound of those punches only those signs are missing...
  • Aba! Alam na alam ah! Bakit kaya??

    Distinct qualities of Filipino films:

    Bad acting, poor dialogue, cheap effects, bad dubbing, corny songs and hayop na title.

  • aside from all that you guys have mention like crappy dialogue, song and dance numbers, etc...etc.., meron pa, if somebody gets kidnapped, they do it on their own, fight the bad guys and sometimes they don't even have weapons, kung ano na lang ang madampot nila sa scene, kahoy or something and they end up beating the bad guys who are big and burly.

    in action movies, they inject humor and in drama movies, sobrang paawa effect naman ang meron.

    ewan ko lang talaga kung bakit may song and dance numbers pa yung ibang tagalog movies?!!!
  • Poor Dubbing!

    ...voice and the opening of mouth does not synchronize, baby! parang chinese movie na di-nab sa englis.
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