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How do you find yourself? I need help.

I think I'm lost, like I'm not the one who I used to be. Hindi na ako yung dating focused sa pag-aaral, may pangarap sa buhay, I technically lose interest in life. Everyday, nagigising ako just to wait for the day to end. I think I'm lost, I don't have direction. One time, naisip ko na lang to end everything. I usually can't bring the thought since I am easily attached to many things but, I just did thought of suicide. I'm scared that I would have the same thought again someday, and urges me to actually do it. So I'm asking for help, how do I find myself? How can find my direction? I tried reading stuffs online, motovational guides and others, but I'm still lost? what do i need to do?
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