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THIS IS MY SECRET - SOMETHING I AM REALLY ASHAMED OF ... A REVELATION!!

simple-alexsimple-alex Member PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
Pexers, I need your help. I have to humble myself and put myself down, kasi I need your help, guys.

Everytime na nasa bago akong environment, school or office, almost all of the men are noticed, except me.

Example, 'pag bago pa lang ako sa work, the girls would remark, "Ang gwapo ni Officemate1, Ang pogi ni  Officemate2". Tapos ako hindi nila sinasabihan ng ganun. 

Then, maiinggit ako. So I will pray na miraculously, magmukha akong gwapo sa paningin nila tulad ng mga officemates kong lalaki. I will spend a lot of time and effort to look good - diet, grooming, lots of walking, thinking of clothes to wear, trying to add charm to myself, and asking God --- hanggang sa the women would notice me and say na pogi ako.

Halimbawa, from high school, magcocollege na ako. Bago na naman ako. The girls will notice first the other guys. Ignored na naman ako. "Ang cute ni Classmate,"etc. So ayun na naman, magdadasal na naman ako. Gagawin ko na naman ang lahat ng effort. Naggym ako. Nagpapogi sa makakaya ko. And after some time, mapapansin na ako ng mga babae.

In short, nasa bagong office na naman ako. Actually 3 months na ako dito sa new work ko. And nasabihan na halos lahat ng kadepartment ko na "ang pogi, ang gwapo". Ako wala pa ring compliment. I do receive other compliments, but not that.

1. Ang sama ko ba para mafeel ko na nahuhurt ako? Imagine, yung matanda kong mga officemates, napapansin nilang gwapo or pogi. In short, mas pogi or gwapo pa sa akin na mas bata ako! Talo pa ako ng matanda na may wrinkles na. 

2. Mali ba na nahuhurt ako, na nakikita ko na yung ibang guys sa paligid ko, kahit walang effort, mapapansin nila eventually? Para akong hiniwa! 

3. Lastly, nahurt ako kasi todo effort ako kanina. Lahat ng pagpapogi ginawa ko, sa suot ko, etc, etc. Pero walang nakapansin pa rin sa akin. Kahapon feeling pogi na ako, pero hindi pumasok most of the women sa department. Tapos di ako napansin nung few.

Syempre, magpapapogi pa rin ako. Mag-eeffort. And based sa past, eventually, mapapansin na nila ako. Sana. 

And I'm sorry, Pexers. Na parang ang babaw ng problema ko. Pero am I in pain? I will be lying if I will say no. 


Comments

  • meowmeowmemeowmeowme PEx Moderator
    I guess the problem with you is you think too much and you spend so much time impressing people through visuals/self presentation that you failed to double check what's more important. I mean, it's not bad naman to impress people visually pero hindi kaya may iba pa silang hinahanap/ gustong makita from you other than you being gwapo/pogi? 

    And how old are you na ba? Depende din kase sa age, environment and perception yan minsan. Maybe you have to love yourself a little more din muna? 
  • ValorianValorian Do no harm PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    Example, 'pag bago pa lang ako sa work, the girls would remark, "Ang gwapo ni Officemate1, Ang pogi ni  Officemate2". Tapos ako hindi nila sinasabihan ng ganun. 
    kasi hindi ka guwapo, tanggapin mo yan

    Na parang ang babaw ng problema ko. Pero am I in pain? I will be lying if I will say no. 

    mababaw naman talaga..

    dont get me wrong, masarap sa pakiramdam pag sinasabihan ka na guwapo, magaling manamit, mabango, etc..

    pero kung hinahanap-hanap mo yun para mabuo ang pagkatao mo, may mga issues ka sa buhay mo

    bakit kailangan mo ng validation galing sa iba? hindi ka ba inaruga ng mga magulang mo at naghahanap ka ng atensyon sa iba?

    nagiging trying hard ka naman masyado para sa atensyon ng iba na hindi mo naman talaga kailangan


  • BunnygervoBunnygervo White Rabbit PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    edited May 2019
    wew parang ito topic namin nung nakaraang buwan, tatlo lng kami naiwan sa office at tinatanung nila ko ng similar sa ganito. big deal pala to sa mga kalalakihan. Di ko rin naman alam kung seseryosohin ang tanung nila na bakit lagi napapansin ang mga pogi na bago, panu naman daw silang mga poging datihan na nagwowork wala ng special treatment. as if naman pogi sila. malinis lang tingnan haha. as if naman importante opinion ko sa kanila para pilitin akong tanungin ng walang kwentang bagay.
  • bloodninja18bloodninja18 Rubber band man PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    Focus on yourself bro. Improving yourself, gym and what not. Succeeding in life, career, studies, whatever. Focus on things that will make you a better person not on what others think of you. Its ok to be ignored, the right ones will always notice you. Guaranteed.
  • lilyamlaclilyamlac PEx Rookie ⭐
    Hindi naman masama ang magayos, pumorma, or mag pa pogi pero I hope you will realize na mas importante ang self-love kesa sa inimpress mo ang mga tao dahil mahirap gawin yung pagpapaimpress and I find it very tiring, lalo na marami kang makakasama na mga tao like for example sa work marami kang makakatrabaho and we all know we can't impress everybody.

    I think it's very important na maging confident ka sa sarili mo. That's where it starts pag confident ka sa sarili mo kusa darating yung mga compliments that's when people will start noticing you because you are confident about yourself and how you look, don't have to gain attention and impress others pra masabihan na pogi ka focus on something more important like kung saan ka magaling nakakadagdag pa ng pogi points yun and do things for yourself kung naggygym o pumo porma ka man because eventually if it makes you feel good then it's a good sign more importantly if it boosts your self confidence.
  • sh4d0wsh4d0w Member PExer
    Bro,

    I have the same situation as you are during college years, I was a real nerd and I fell hard for a classmate and I did everything but it seems the girls would only look into other guys. Fast forward a few years; I learned to dress up, take care of myself and with it have self-confidence.

    How do you perceive that you look good? Research into the latest style that would suit you. Generally, look into your surroundings and make sure your dress better than anyone in your group. In the workplace, I dress sharp.  I always wear a suit and smart casual during wash days. Make sure your clothes fit perfectly not baggy that looks like you came from the 80's. I am an introvert and its difficult for me to talk to people but I made it a habit to do small talk to people. Once you do these people will start to notice and with it, you will start growing your self-confidence. Everything else will come automatically.
  • coccomomoacoccomomoa PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    @simple-alex

    Why do you care so much why people think of you?  You don't need na you feel you exists just because they validate your looks.  Keber ka lang.  Later you'll find that someone, who'll find you so pogi and irresistible without even making an effort.  

    Start spending your time on things that really count - yourself, your work, your family.  Hope this helps :)  
  • lordlapulapulordlapulapu PEx Rookie ⭐
    simple-alex,

    humanap ka ng panget at ibigin mong tunay!
    iyan ang dapat mong gawin!
    kundi sige ka puso moy mabibiyak.
    humanap ka na panget at di ka iiyak!
    diba?
  • NilsNils Hunter PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
     Pakitanong sa tatay mo kung mahal ba ang condom nung panahong ginawa ka nila ng nanay mo. Sayang ang oxygen...
  • java_chiqjava_chiq oh yeah...retired PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    pic nga-  tingnan natin kung paano ka i- repackage
  • alchemistofophiralchemistofophir Christian Communist PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐



    pakirepackage nga ako, java_chiq. 

    B)B)B)
    .V.. ..I..
  • @ simple alex - you made my day. I mean my night. Lol. Sorry, I don't mean to treat your concern lightly. 

    I agree with those who mentioned the importance of confidence. Who knows, you might be confident enough to get that sought-after promotion. 

    Kaguapuhan - ok. Sabihin na nating meron talagang mga hindi guapo at merong sobrang guapo and everything in between. We can't do anything about that. It is what it is. But the people here are right. Focus on the things you can change - like grooming. Be neat and smart. Huwag cheap - and by cheap, I mean things that we talk about. In short, dapat may class.

    Pag di ka pa rin naging pleasing sa eyes ng iba, hayaan mo na. Happiness - true happiness does not come from being attractive. Focus on being a true friend and companion to others. Do something to make others happy, and stop thinking what makes you happy. 

    Last but not least, keep in mind - pogi or not, we all have the same destination - the Grave. lol. Peace bruh. 
  • IronHandofJusticeIronHandofJustice Member PEx Guru 🎖️🎖️
    Self-acceptance but being aware din sa realities ng human nature natin (i.e. inclination towards physical, sexual, etc attributes). 

    Wala ako masyadong maidadagdag ma advice but I could say same kami ng thought nung sa taas. I can only imagine your struggles. Keep in mind wala namang permanent dito sa mundo.
  • baka naman they don't say it whenever you're around..baka nga naman kasi lumaki ang ulo mo or isipin mo na gustong gusto ka ng mga girl colleagues mo... 
    Basta feel mo gwapo ka ok na yun... the hell what other says... 
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    good idea! 
  • jecjaburnsjecjaburns Winter Sonata... PEx Rookie ⭐
    maghanap ka ng trabaho na pangit lahat ng makakasama mo, yung ikaw lang yung medyo gwapo sa kanila para ikaw lang sasabihan na gwapo, bakit naririnig ba ng mga kasama mo sa work na lalake ngayon, pag sinasabi ng officemate mo na gwapo sila? daanin mo na lang sa pabango para pag nadaanan mo sila atleast masabi nila mabango ka (di ko kasi nabasa kung namention mo na nagpapabango ka, puro papogi kasi nabasa ko). di mo kailangan na maging pogi sa paningin ng lahat ng officemate mo basta pogi ka sa babaeng mamahalin ka.

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