Home PEx Relationships Love - Dilemmas

To end or to stay?

We've been together for 2 years now. We started as flirtmate to real lovers. At the beginning I know he's not serious with me. He wants me for sex. Thats what I felt. Marami syang naging babae sa loob lang ng 1 taon. But I didn't give up on him. I kept my faith on his changes. Been through every night praying to God na someday he'll see my worth. Kasi gusto ko last na sya. Ayoko na ng iba. I was still on my last year in college nung nagwork sya sa Manila. He's proud to secretly introduce me to his friends as his ***** buddy to all of his friends. Hindi nya alam na nabuksan ko yung facebook account nya. I saw several conversation with his friends talking about girls. It broke my heart. He's the third guy who treated me like trash. 


We've been through several break ups. I always end up saying goodbye but accept him back when he apologize with confidence na magbabago din sya. And then yes, it goes out fine. Nag sisimba na kami every sunday na akala mo ang bait bait talaga nya. Gala. Kain ibat ibat kainan. In short we went on improvement. Until I also moved here in Manila for work. Dito mas nag level up yung relationship namin. He changed. I knew it. He's now letting me access his social media accounts na dati nyang pinagdadamot sa sakin. Wala ng babae. I became his priority. Every off lagi kaming magkasama. Hindi mapakali na hindi magkikita. He buys me gift pag malaki yung sinahod nya at ganun din naman ako. Parang dugsong na yung bituka namin. I felt like he is my soulmate na talaga yung as in akala ko 100% sure na kong sya na talaga. 



But everything seems to change. Lately, (actually couple of months na) Im loosing interest on him. Im not excited on his precence anymore. Hindi ko na sya namimiss pag di kami nagkikita. Hinahayaan ko sya pag nagtatampo sya at pag nagdrama sya naiinis ako. But Im hiding it. Ayokong maramdaman nya yung pinaramdam nya sa akin noon. 

Honestly I like someone else. I met him when I started working here. I dont really appreciate him at first. We were assigned on same team. So I had the chance to get to know him. Im falling inlove with him but I was indenial. I've bee taking care of my relationship and never thought cheating with my boyfriend. I don't want to assume pero I got that feeling that he likes me. But it doesnt matter. My point is why do I feel this? I had a lot of crushes but this guy is different. I feel genuinely in love when I see him which I never felt with my partner. It started 6 months ago.


I don't know if temporarily lang akong nagsasawa. Im not really sure what to do. I feel like Im just keeping my relationship cause of convenience. As if right now, Im still undecided. Im thinking of breaking up with him, but I dont want to give him this reason. I dont want to be unfair with him. 

Comments

  • Clotilda HardwickClotilda Hardwick PEx Rookie ⭐
    Break up with him IMMEDIATELY! Tell him the reason why. You are already cheating on him. That's not good.
  • BunnygervoBunnygervo PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐

    Cheating na ba agad when you got attracted sa officemate ng hindi sinasadya? I get attracted to one or more person, but I can only love one. Feeling ko we have same situation pero never ko igigive up present relationship ko. Nahuli niya na kasi ako dati pero indenial siya and kinalimutan na lang namin. Ngkulang din kasi siya.

    Lapitin din kasi ako, I need to cut my hair veryvery short pa nga  para wala ng mgkagustu hehe. Gawin mong bestfriend si BF para makaiwas sa tukso.

  • gladyskawaiigladyskawaii PEx Rookie ⭐
    Choose the one who makes you happy and in love :heart: 
  • Cheating na ba agad when you got attracted sa officemate ng hindi sinasadya? I get attracted to one or more person, but I can only love one. Feeling ko we have same situation pero never ko igigive up present relationship ko. Nahuli niya na kasi ako dati pero indenial siya and kinalimutan na lang namin. Ngkulang din kasi siya.

    Lapitin din kasi ako, I need to cut my hair veryvery short pa nga  para wala ng mgkagustu hehe. Gawin mong bestfriend si BF para makaiwas sa tukso.

     Yes you're right. I think we're on the same page here 😂 I went home, been with my boyfriend for days. I just realized I can't give him up. He's making me happy like no one ever did. I am who I am when Im with him. Mahirap pakawalan yung ganitong connection. I guess I have to ignore my feelings towards the other guy. Pansamantala lang siguro yun. I'd be more than happy kung makakahanap rin sya ng para sa kanya talaga. Right love at the wrong time is a wrong love.. 
  • SamanthaBSamanthaB PEx Rookie ⭐
    Stay. 

    Let me share with you something I have learned from some of my married co-workers before, some of them have been married for 25+ years.

    I asked them how they are able to keep their relationship and the love in a long span of time. 

    And here is their answer.

    Non-Verbatim:

    "Keeping a relationship is most likely a choice. It's about making a conscious decision to stay no matter what happens. And it is about being committed to that choice. 

    Love? We don't find ourselves in love with each other every single day through X years. There are days when you just hate your partner. There are days when the love seems to fade away. You don't feel excited anymore. There are no butterflies in your stomach. It may tempt to you give up. But you just don't because of commitment to your choice.

    At the end of the day, your relationship will thank you for not giving up". 



  • gladyskawaiigladyskawaii PEx Rookie ⭐
    Wag mo pilitin yung sarili mo na magstay kung hindi ka na masaya lalo pa hindi pa naman kayo kasal. Pag pinatagal mo pa yan, mas lalong unfair sa kanya kasi nasayang lang ang oras niya iiwan mo din naman pala in the end. 
  • to end or to stay?

    naging kami since 4th year high school hanggang sa makagraduate kami ng college. mag cecelebrate na kami ng 8th year anniversary namin this year. pero hindi na tlga ko masaya but everytime na maiisip ko sya parang ayoko syang mawala. tapos wala ng spark. everyweek naman kami nag s-s*x parang bestfriend na lng kami. nadedepress na rin ako kapag naiisip ko na parang ganito na lng kami palagi. hmm, till now naguguluhan ako sa sarili ko, nalulungkot na lng ako bigla when im alone.
  • RomanticureRomanticure PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    emm21 said:
    to end or to stay?

    naging kami since 4th year high school hanggang sa makagraduate kami ng college. mag cecelebrate na kami ng 8th year anniversary namin this year. pero hindi na tlga ko masaya but everytime na maiisip ko sya parang ayoko syang mawala. tapos wala ng spark. everyweek naman kami nag s-s*x parang bestfriend na lng kami. nadedepress na rin ako kapag naiisip ko na parang ganito na lng kami palagi. hmm, till now naguguluhan ako sa sarili ko, nalulungkot na lng ako bigla when im alone.
    Stay muna. Kausapin mo muna jowa mo, sabihin mo yan ng diretso sa kanya. Baka ganun na din sya syo before you decide to leave or baka need mo lang ng space.
  • RomanticureRomanticure PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    "Im just keeping my relationship cause of convenience."

    Panakip butas na lang si orig bf. Leave immediately. That's so unfair to him. Pero wala na yang bawian when you leave him. Still, in time, marami pa ding katulad mo all over the world. 
  • BunnygervoBunnygervo PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    emm21 said:
    to end or to stay?

    naging kami since 4th year high school hanggang sa makagraduate kami ng college. mag cecelebrate na kami ng 8th year anniversary namin this year. pero hindi na tlga ko masaya but everytime na maiisip ko sya parang ayoko syang mawala. tapos wala ng spark. everyweek naman kami nag s-s*x parang bestfriend na lng kami. nadedepress na rin ako kapag naiisip ko na parang ganito na lng kami palagi. hmm, till now naguguluhan ako sa sarili ko, nalulungkot na lng ako bigla when im alone.

    2nd bf ko na kasi ito kaya alam ko pakirandam na iwanan. were together since 2007, wala kaming anak kaya parang bf-gf pa rin turingan namin. dumatng din sa buhay ko na ngsasawa na kong mahalin sya but i choose to stay. Palagi pa kaming ng aaway, ako laging umiiyak. 2015 ngpakasal na kami mejo mas umayos samahan namin, naging matured, nabawasan pag kaisip bata namin.

    Ewan ko, excited pa rin ako pag sinusundo niya ko, pag kumakain kami sa labas, pagngluluto siya, pag alam kong pauwi na siya sa bahay, pag nauna siyang umuwi sa kin tapus kakatokin ko ang pinto ng malakas. pag manunuod kai ng tv.

  • sophieharpersophieharper PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    You will realize the worth of your partner when you lose him. Distracted ka kasi jn sa new person na nakilala mo. Kilig kilig ka sa una pero pag nagtagal, same thing will happen. you'll eventually lose interest ulit.

    remember, TRUE love begins after you lose that kilig feeling.
  • darmonxdarmonx PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    It's normal to desire others while in a happy relationship... Pfft.. men do it all the time and just because babae ka, don't feel bad about it dahil wala namang nangyayare.  And what if you have sex with him? Pfft.. guys do it all the time too so nothing to feel bad about.
  • What your feeling with the other guy at work is normal because HE is sending signals to you and YOU are send him back signals too (probably). Spending time with any guy in a good period of time will "develop" any relationship into something deeper. When you are married, it's going to be the same thing. Good thing you are not yet married. And you can still decide to leave your man. But, may I remind you that the "love-feeling" which you had before with your MAN which you also claim now is GONE is a result of the "Love-verb" that you do for him. What i'm telling you is...that "love-feeling" will come and go in any relationship. No matter how strong and long the relationship is. What makes relationship successful is the commitment behind it. Even if you don't feel the "love-feeling" anymore. You still decide to commit on loving him. Loving means caring for, serving, listening, etc. So decide, who do you want to care for? Serve? Listen, ETC?
  • qwerty45 said:
    We've been together for 2 years now. We started as flirtmate to real lovers. At the beginning I know he's not serious with me. He wants me for sex. Thats what I felt. Marami syang naging babae sa loob lang ng 1 taon. But I didn't give up on him. I kept my faith on his changes. Been through every night praying to God na someday he'll see my worth. Kasi gusto ko last na sya. Ayoko na ng iba. I was still on my last year in college nung nagwork sya sa Manila. He's proud to secretly introduce me to his friends as his **** buddy to all of his friends. Hindi nya alam na nabuksan ko yung facebook account nya. I saw several conversation with his friends talking about girls. It broke my heart. He's the third guy who treated me like trash. 


    We've been through several break ups. I always end up saying goodbye but accept him back when he apologize with confidence na magbabago din sya. And then yes, it goes out fine. Nag sisimba na kami every sunday na akala mo ang bait bait talaga nya. Gala. Kain ibat ibat kainan. In short we went on improvement. Until I also moved here in Manila for work. Dito mas nag level up yung relationship namin. He changed. I knew it. He's now letting me access his social media accounts na dati nyang pinagdadamot sa sakin. Wala ng babae. I became his priority. Every off lagi kaming magkasama. Hindi mapakali na hindi magkikita. He buys me gift pag malaki yung sinahod nya at ganun din naman ako. Parang dugsong na yung bituka namin. I felt like he is my soulmate na talaga yung as in akala ko 100% sure na kong sya na talaga. 



    But everything seems to change. Lately, (actually couple of months na) Im loosing interest on him. Im not excited on his precence anymore. Hindi ko na sya namimiss pag di kami nagkikita. Hinahayaan ko sya pag nagtatampo sya at pag nagdrama sya naiinis ako. But Im hiding it. Ayokong maramdaman nya yung pinaramdam nya sa akin noon. 

    Honestly I like someone else. I met him when I started working here. I dont really appreciate him at first. We were assigned on same team. So I had the chance to get to know him. Im falling inlove with him but I was indenial. I've bee taking care of my relationship and never thought cheating with my boyfriend. I don't want to assume pero I got that feeling that he likes me. But it doesnt matter. My point is why do I feel this? I had a lot of crushes but this guy is different. I feel genuinely in love when I see him which I never felt with my partner. It started 6 months ago.


    I don't know if temporarily lang akong nagsasawa. Im not really sure what to do. I feel like Im just keeping my relationship cause of convenience. As if right now, Im still undecided. Im thinking of breaking up with him, but I dont want to give him this reason. I dont want to be unfair with him. 
    Lumalandi si TS.. 😁
  • hsusonhsuson Member PEx Expert 🎖️
    FACT: Men can separate emotions from sex :)
  • Given the fact that you already like someone else, you're already being unfair to him. Assess your feelings and decide kanino ka mas masaya. Follow your heart. 
  • blue_tracerblue_tracer PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    it's time to break up with him. tapos. 
Sign In or Register to comment.