I have a secret .... Please help me...

DOER-OF-RIGHTDOER-OF-RIGHT Member PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
I'm a single Adult professional. My secret is... I don't have lasting friendships, so far, all the years of my life.

I'm really wondering what's wrong with me.

I have these two close friends, a young man and woman, from a church. I have done a lot of good things for this couple. Example, just this 1st week of January, the young man's father died and I was there at the funeral for 2 days, and even gave his family Noche Buena because they had no Noche Buena last December 2017.

I don't see them often, but when we do meet, we share about our lives.

Pero naisip ko, sila naman mag-initiate. Let my buddy initiate.

February na and they haven't contacted me.

And this went on all my life. I can't seem to keep friends. Can someone guess what's wrong with me?

Some of my close friends before are now just facebook friends.

Comments

  • NilsNils Hunter PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    Baka ikaw yung taong alam ng lahat na nagbibilang kung ano ang nagawa mo para sa kanila. Sorry to inform you, nobody likes those kinds of people.
  • blu_singerblu_singer muntik na! PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    don't expect them to do the same. May kanya kanyang buhay ang tao, mind your own business. Never expect na kasama ka sa plano nila. The mere fact na kaibigan ka eh wala kang karapatan nag demand nor mag expect.

    Kaibigan ka nga ba o acquaintance lang?
  • blue_tracerblue_tracer soundscapes PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    huwag mo bigyan ng pressure at dead line ang sarili mo. may importanteng roles din paminsan-minsan ang mga friends sa buhay ng isang tao, pero huwag mo pilitin kaagad magkaroon nito. relax muna.

    pag may makilala kang bagong kaibigan, just be nice. be yourself and don't expect anything. cool lang.
  • hassle2016hassle2016 Member PEx Rookie ⭐
    1. Don't expect.
    2. Don't be clingy.
    3. Expand your network. Pag lumillit na ang circle, create another circle.
  • DOER-OF-RIGHTDOER-OF-RIGHT Member PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    I appreciate so much yung mga replies niyo.

    Sa totoo lang, hindi niyo alam kung paano kalaki yung tulong na ginawa niyo.

    Please keep your pieces of advice coming. Big help talaga.

    By the way, isang consequence na hindi ko nasustain ang mga friendships ko is I am rarely invited sa mga weddings... kasi yung mga kaedad ko, mga kinakasal.

    Rarely din ako ginagawang ninong ng mga binyag ng mga anak ng mga tao.

    I will do my best to follow yung mga inadvice niyo.

    Keep them coming.
  • kurttrukkurttruk aller te faire foutre PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    what D' fact.

    nagtatanong ka kung bakit walang tumatagal na kaibigan sayo, tapos sasabihin mong gusto mong sila yung maginitiate na makipagcommunicate sayo, ano ka sinuswerte? may 'life' rin sila saka mga priorities, dong :glee:

    saka bakit parang napakalimited lang ng network mo? dong, simulan mo sa trabaho..makipagsocialize ka sa mga katrabaho..sumama sa inuman / outings

    maging ninong ka sa mga anak nila / sa mga kasalan etc.

    papayuhan sana kita sumali sa Victory church / o kung ano mang maliliit na religious groups :glee: kasi tiyak marami kang magiging katropa doon pero hindi..diskarte mo na yun.
  • Madalice18Madalice18 Member PExer
    Same tayo DOER-OF-RIGHT. I mean ganyan din napagdaanan ko recently lang. I have 2 friends na palagi kong kasama then nung nagkaroon ng school activity outside the country Inexpect ko na sila magiging roommate ko. Other than that, one of them texted me na she's looking forward sa adventure namin (w/c is *** school activity nga na sinasabi ko) kaya umasa ako at yung classmate ko din na un is kasama ko palagi. As in palagi. It turned out parehas na pala sila may ka roommate and what's worse is pinagpasa pasahan nila ako :( Alam mo for me, okay din yung ganun yung hayaan mo sila para malaman mo kung may pake ba sila sayo or observe them tuwing kailangan mo sila kasi in that way magkaka idea ka kung san ka dapat lumugar pero ayun nga kahit ganun, nakikisama pa din ako sa kanila kasi kailangan. At least aware ako kung maaasahan ba sila or hindi. Wag ka mawalan ng pag asa. Magkakaroon din tayo ng totoong kaibigan someday. My lolo once told me sa sampung tao, swerte ka makahanap ka ng isang totoong kaibigan. Kaya mahirap talaga pero naniniwala ako mahahnap din natin sila :)
  • kurttrukkurttruk aller te faire foutre PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    Madalice18 wrote: »
    Same tayo DOER-OF-RIGHT. I mean ganyan din napagdaanan ko recently lang. I have 2 friends na palagi kong kasama then nung nagkaroon ng school activity outside the country Inexpect ko na sila magiging roommate ko. Other than that, one of them texted me na she's looking forward sa adventure namin (w/c is *** school activity nga na sinasabi ko) kaya umasa ako at yung classmate ko din na un is kasama ko palagi. As in palagi. It turned out parehas na pala sila may ka roommate and what's worse is pinagpasa pasahan nila ako :( Alam mo for me, okay din yung ganun yung hayaan mo sila para malaman mo kung may pake ba sila sayo or observe them tuwing kailangan mo sila kasi in that way magkaka idea ka kung san ka dapat lumugar pero ayun nga kahit ganun, nakikisama pa din ako sa kanila kasi kailangan. At least aware ako kung maaasahan ba sila or hindi. Wag ka mawalan ng pag asa. Magkakaroon din tayo ng totoong kaibigan someday. My lolo once told me sa sampung tao, swerte ka makahanap ka ng isang totoong kaibigan. Kaya mahirap talaga pero naniniwala ako mahahnap din natin sila :)


    @DOER-OF-RIGHT

    oh eto, i add mo na sa FB tong isang to, dagdag sa friendlist din to :glee:

    huwag na naman kayong magdedmahan kapag tumagal na ah :glee:
  • kleenexlambotkleenexlambot Love YourSelf PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    di mo sinabi ang edad mo

    kung over 35 ka na, pwedeng mga contemporary mo may mga pamilya na kaya iba na ang prioridad. so kung kakaibiganin mo sila, dont expect na lagi ka nilang koontakin dahil syempre may mga responsibilidad na yan sa pamilya.

    puede ding ikaw ang may issue. kamo you could not keep friends all your life. normally dapat may close friends ka na 1 or 2. yung kasundo mo.

    then sinabi mo sa post mo hinihintay mo na sila ang kumontak naman. hindi ganun. dapat wag mo bibilangin dahil baka sila din naghihintay sa yo. wala naman mawawala kung ikaw lagi nag iinititiate, lalo na at ikaw ang hindi kampante na kulang sa kaibigan.

    in summary, be more friendly, amiable, and take initiatives to be closer to people.

    ngayon, maaaring marami kang excuse at i ju justify mo yung behavior mo, and if that is the case at ayaw mong makinig eh di mag mongha ka.
  • tidgetidge lie and die PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    baka naman sinisingitan mo ng networking... wag ganun  :o 
  • temptationofwifetemptationofwife Member PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    Salvation Prayer - The Simple Steps:

    1. Acknowledge in your heart that Jesus is Lord.
    2. Confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord.
    3. Believe that Jesus died for your sins and was raised three days later.
    4. Repent of your sins and get baptized in the name of Jesus.


    Salvation Prayer - Merely a Tool to Communicate Our Faith
    "God, I recognize that I have not lived my life for You up until now. I have been living for myself and that is wrong. I need You in my life; I want You in my life. I acknowledge the completed work of Your Son Jesus Christ in giving His life for me on the cross at Calvary, and I long to receive the forgiveness you have made freely available to me through this sacrifice. Come into my life now, Lord. Take up residence in my heart and be my king, my Lord, and my Savior. From this day forward, I will no longer be controlled by sin, or the desire to please myself, but I will follow You all the days of my life. Those days are in Your hands. I ask this in Jesus' precious and holy name. Amen."

    If you decided to repent of your sins and receive Christ today, welcome to God's family. Now, as a way to grow closer to Him, the Bible tells us to follow up on our commitment.

    Get baptized as commanded by Christ.

    Tell someone else about your new faith in Christ.

    Spend time with God each day. It does not have to be a long period of time. Just develop the daily habit of praying to Him and reading His Word. Ask God to increase your faith and your understanding of the Bible.

    Seek fellowship with other followers of Jesus. Develop a group of believing friends to answer your questions and support you.

    Find a local church where you can worship God 

    TITO DUDS  09106371006  VICTORY CHURCH  SM MARILAO SUNDAYS 10AM,  12NN
  • chenelyn_grapeschenelyn_grapes Seedless PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    introvert ka lang talaga. mas enjoy mong mag isa. wag mong piliting makipag mingle sa iba kung hindi naman yung ang nasa puso mo.
  • lilyamlaclilyamlac PEx Rookie ⭐
    Maybe you are just a genuine person, hindi sguro ikaw yung pala kibo kaya konti lang friends mo remember you can always make new friends be nice, wala nman mawawala sa pagiging mabait at willing makisama, basta tandaan mo it's not the quantity that counts it's the quality kung tanggap ka nila kung sino ka.
  • richardrnrichardrn Member PEx Rookie ⭐
    Try to initiate more. Ganyan din madalas ang nararamdaman ko. Dont judge him, may mga katulad talaga namin. Develop friendship to everyone. Baka din introvert ka and you are happy by yourself.. 
  • Ok lng nmn kung ikaw ang mag initiate e.. go out for coffee and catch up.. kasi minsan naghihintay lng din nmn ung iba... :)
  • java_chiqjava_chiq oh yeah...retired PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    curious lang ako sa expectations mo about friendship 

    bakit parang masama ang loob mo na ikaw ang nag i-initiate?

    parang sa mga long term friendships ko it doesn't really matter who contacts- or minsan kahit antagal na walang contact but when we do get together parang akala mo mga recently lang magkakasama kung magsipag asaran.


  • maykatotohananmaykatotohanan PEx Rookie ⭐
    the feeling is mutual.
    Managmusta ka nalang, pero wag na umasa na pwede kau madalas mag hang out lalo na kung pamilyado na yan kaibigan mo.
    Madalas sa madalas cancelled pa yan napag planuhan na lakad.

  • BunnygervoBunnygervo White Rabbit PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    my mga tao talaga na nakakaranas ng social withdrawal. Like me, Ayuko na makipagsocialized boring kasi, yayain mo tapus puro cellphone. mas ng eefort pa ko makasama mga kapatid, pinsan at pamangkin. Pag weekends mas masarap pa magmarathon sa TV at matulog. Unlike nung 2 years after graduation laman ako ng kalsada. kaya kung indi ka nila friends malamang my iba na silang pinagkakaabalahan.
  • richardrnrichardrn Member PEx Rookie ⭐
    my mga tao talaga na nakakaranas ng social withdrawal. Like me, Ayuko na makipagsocialized boring kasi, yayain mo tapus puro cellphone. mas ng eefort pa ko makasama mga kapatid, pinsan at pamangkin. Pag weekends mas masarap pa magmarathon sa TV at matulog. Unlike nung 2 years after graduation laman ako ng kalsada. kaya kung indi ka nila friends malamang my iba na silang pinagkakaabalahan.

    Tawag jan introvert. Parang ako. I dont like big groups. Si TS tingin ko di pa niya nadidiscover ang personality niya. You maybe asking in return of the favor you've given them. We usually are not likeable person (correct me if im wrong). Hindi tau nagkakron ng madaming friends. 

    Meron kasi loveable persons na saglit lang, gusto na siya ng madaming tao. Tayo, we have to make an effort to make them love us. Ganyan talaga. Be happy to be alone or have someone to be your best friend. 

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