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napag-iiwanan na ba ko?

here's my dilemma

im about to hit 30 and still single at parang pakiramdam ko napag-iiwanan na ko, di man ako katangkaran pero di naman ako panget, me stable job din, yun nga lang pam-binata ang sahod, sa katunayan, me mga nagkakagusto saken at nararamdaman ko yun, plus factor na din siguro dahil me sense of humor ako, pero hindi ko lang sila pinopormahan dahil hindi sila yung tipo ko, ayoko naman sabihing choosy ako pero syempre lahat naman tayo ang gusto makapareha eh yung gusto/mahal naten, at di din naman ako syempre pumipili ng sobra-sobrang ganda dahil for sure di ako papasa sa mga yun.

sa almost 2 years ko sa company, 2 na pinormahan ko, parehong basted, and now kahit gustung-gusto ko yung ka-team ko eh hindi ko magawang ligawan dahil hindi ba't parang nakakahiya na? na baka ma-basted na naman, magkaibigan kame but not that close, alam ng mga ka-team namen na gusto ko sya at sinasabihan akong subukan ko daw pero alam din nila na mahirap syang ligawan dahil aayaw nya mag-bf, alam ko naman kung pano lumandi ng babae kahit papano pero never ko ma-achieve sa kanya yung chemistry dahil sa pagiging mailap nya.

nagka-2 GF na din ako before and alam ko yung feeling ng main-love ng sobra-sobra at masaktan ng sobra-sobra, pero this time siguro dapat mag-asawa na ko, somehow pakiramdam ko hindi pa ko handa dahil me pagka-childish din ako, kaso yun nga wala pa ding dumarating, or dapat ko bang i-lower ang standard ko? nahihirapan ako, my parents are getting older na din at naghahanap na din sila ng apo, and sooner or later dapat magkaroon na din ako ng makakatuwang ko sa buhay.

:(

Comments

  • gladyskawaiigladyskawaii PEx Rookie ⭐
    i agree with your teammate. Subukan mo mo if husto mo talaga sya. Try and try until you succeed 👍🏻
  • jcdyjcdy PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    I don't recommend office romance because there's just too many things that could go wrong. And personally I don't think it's worth it to be honest. However, I'm not you and I definitely don't claim to know better about your feelings. So if you really want to then go ahead and pursue your colleague if you want.
    Just one piece of advice, since you both work in the same place, try to be discreet as much as possible.
    You don't want to keep going to work in a place where it will be awkward if it doesn't work out between you two. Trust me, been there, done that.
  • DaugGreenDaugGreen PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    Have you tried looking for other girls other than your office mates? Expand your horizon bro. There are friends of friends, friends of officemates, college friends, HS friends, Social sites/apps (Tinder, FB, Instagram, etc).

    Saka wag muna pag aasawa isipin mo, look for a girl first na makakasundo mo. Take the first step, baby steps. Yeah?
  • Lagot ang babaeng matitipuhan mo. Pag aasawa agad nasa utak mo eh haha. Ikaw lang nakakaisip nyan hindi yung babae.
  • darmonxdarmonx PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    So 2 years, 2 girls.. parehong basted.. so lini limit Mo sari Mo na manligaw one girl per year. Wow.. talaga naman.

    Paki increase nga yung quota mo.. try.. just try one girl a month.. or pagsabayin panliligaw ng 2 o 3 girls. There is nothing wrong courting multiples girls today.. they understand that because they are seeing multiple guys themselves but best to not let them know anyway.

    Bata pa ang 30 so go and don't be afraid to be basted.
  • incorruptibleincorruptible PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    There's a saying, Don't eat where you ****.. or Don't **** where you Eat ba yun?

    Well, First of All, dun sa age mo, ok pa naman yan kaso dapat me Stable na Girlfriend ka na siguro nyan age na yan.

    Dun sa mga panliligaw, alam ko na talagang madaling ma attract sa mga Ka-Opis mates, pero I guess its really a Bad Idea na manligaw sa Opis. Especially yung same Department or Team. Maraming cases na pwede mangyari. Which are not going to be good for you in the end.

    Look for another Girl outside of your main Environment. Wag dun sa pinagtatrabahuhan mo and dun ka nag peperform professionally. Ok lang landi landiin yung mga girls dyan. But never have personal relationships with them.

    Try to find Some dates perhaps, kapitbahay, friend mo from College, Highschool. The likes. Tama yung sinabi nung nauna expand your Horizon..
  • chris9500 wrote: »
    here's my dilemma

    never ko ma-achieve sa kanya yung chemistry dahil sa pagiging mailap nya.

    :(

    Wag sya dahil ibig sabihin hindi sya interesado sa yo. Wala nga kayong chamistry at sabi mo mailap. Usually yan ang way ng mga babae to show they are not interested.

    Hindi ka pa pala 30, saka sabi mo sweldong binata ka pa. Wag kang ma-pressure at magmadali. Don't rush into a relationship for the sake na gusto mo nang mag asawa dahil nagkakaidad ka na.
  • blue_tracerblue_tracer PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    huwag mo bigyan ng pressure ang sarili mo na magka gf o asawa kaagad. trabaho ka lang muna, travel pag may time. makaka encounter ka rin ng hello kitties, madami diyan.
  • tidgetidge PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    TS mag ipon ka para makabili ng Mustang GT... hindi mo na kailangang manligaw :lol:
  • pusang_miyawpusang_miyaw PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    Alam mo TS just go for it na lang. Try mong makipag close pa sa girl saka ka manligaw. I know mahirap ma reject pero it's really a risk e. Saka paano mo malalaman na it will work kung di mo susubukan.

    Just to relate: I met my partner sa work din. I was also the mailap girl. He took the risk and confessed his feelings kahit tingin niya malabo.

    Paano prior to that ilang beses na syang nag effort na ihatid ako sa bahay pero I always have an excuse. I felt awkward na nililibre at pag tumatawag siya sa phone napapatanong pa ako why he's calling. He didn't know I like him too pero kasi hindi pa siya nagku confess ng feelings nya and I dont want to assume kaya unless wala siyang sabihin I didnt want to respond or participate sa panunuyo niya. Pero we're good friends naman although di din kami close.

    So ayun nga despite my refusals e one day nag confess siya. Eto pa sabi niya "Alam kong malabo pero I want you to know that I really like you but if you dont like me sana walang ilangan and we stay as friends".

    To his surprise derechang sinabi ko din na "I like you too". So fast forward to now 7 years na kami ni partner and going stronger.

    O e kung di siya nag try, o na discourage agad siya sakin e di sana walang kami.

    Haha so go for it TS, if you fail atleast you tried dabah.
  • oraorajoestaroraorajoestar PEx Rookie ⭐
    Turning 30 in a few months but I dont want give in to peer pressure. I believe early 30's is still the prime age of a professional to be aggressive for career growth. Most of my batchmates in high school and college ended up being "na ano" during their study with very few who officially wed. Despite their happy facade that they keep posting on facebook they are actually struggling financially. My parents pressuring me to get married so they can have grandchildren, as much as I want to please my parents I cant do it because its a life changing commitment for me as I also want to be happy and fulfilled with my decision not only my parents. My standards for preference is not so high but also not settle in with mediocrity.

    I'm enjoying my life and want to venture further in career opportunities abroad, and having a serious commitment at this time is not practical.
  • gladyskawaiigladyskawaii PEx Rookie ⭐
    Alam mo TS just go for it na lang. Try mong makipag close pa sa girl saka ka manligaw. I know mahirap ma reject pero it's really a risk e. Saka paano mo malalaman na it will work kung di mo susubukan.

    Just to relate: I met my partner sa work din. I was also the mailap girl. He took the risk and confessed his feelings kahit tingin niya malabo.

    Paano prior to that ilang beses na syang nag effort na ihatid ako sa bahay pero I always have an excuse. I felt awkward na nililibre at pag tumatawag siya sa phone napapatanong pa ako why he's calling. He didn't know I like him too pero kasi hindi pa siya nagku confess ng feelings nya and I dont want to assume kaya unless wala siyang sabihin I didnt want to respond or participate sa panunuyo niya. Pero we're good friends naman although di din kami close.

    So ayun nga despite my refusals e one day nag confess siya. Eto pa sabi niya "Alam kong malabo pero I want you to know that I really like you but if you dont like me sana walang ilangan and we stay as friends".

    To his surprise derechang sinabi ko din na "I like you too". So fast forward to now 7 years na kami ni partner and going stronger.

    O e kung di siya nag try, o na discourage agad siya sakin e di sana walang kami.

    Haha so go for it TS, if you fail atleast you tried dabah.

    See TS... this is the motivation that you need 😊
  • chris9500chris9500 PEx Rookie ⭐
    jcdy wrote: »
    I don't recommend office romance because there's just too many things that could go wrong. And personally I don't think it's worth it to be honest. However, I'm not you and I definitely don't claim to know better about your feelings. So if you really want to then go ahead and pursue your colleague if you want.
    Just one piece of advice, since you both work in the same place, try to be discreet as much as possible.
    You don't want to keep going to work in a place where it will be awkward if it doesn't work out between you two. Trust me, been there, done that.

    I got your point jcdy, however isa sa naging GF ko ay ka-officemate ko din at never naman kame nagkaroon ng issues about it so siguro ok lang (or kung counted sa issue yung mga chismisan ng mga ka-officemate, sige isama na din naten ya hahaha), and yes, tama na dapat discreet lang, mahirap talaga magkaroon ng issue lalo na't pwede makaapekto sa work nameng pareho.
    DaugGreen wrote: »
    Have you tried looking for other girls other than your office mates? Expand your horizon bro. There are friends of friends, friends of officemates, college friends, HS friends, Social sites/apps (Tinder, FB, Instagram, etc).

    Saka wag muna pag aasawa isipin mo, look for a girl first na makakasundo mo. Take the first step, baby steps. Yeah?

    DaugGreen, nagta-try din ako sa hindi ko ka-officemate, pero napapansin ko na din na she's not into me, pero ok lang, ang advantage lang kase ng ka-officemate is mas madali mo makilala compare sa hindi ka-officemate, pero again, oks lang naman, kase yung 1st GF ko is hindi ko ka-officemate, at ang advantage nga din siguro nang ganun is mas mysterious ang dating ko dahil di nya ko ganung kakilala hehehe.
    darmonx wrote: »
    So 2 years, 2 girls.. parehong basted.. so lini limit Mo sari Mo na manligaw one girl per year. Wow.. talaga naman.

    Paki increase nga yung quota mo.. try.. just try one girl a month.. or pagsabayin panliligaw ng 2 o 3 girls. There is nothing wrong courting multiples girls today.. they understand that because they are seeing multiple guys themselves but best to not let them know anyway.

    Bata pa ang 30 so go and don't be afraid to be basted.

    hi darmonx, hindi naman sa nililimit, sa katunayan eh malakas din ako manlandi ng ibang ka-officemate dahil minsan pinakikiramdaman ko kung me gusto din saken yung iba or baka magkaroon din kame ng "spark" ba, ang akin lang is baka nga nakakahiya sa mga kakilala ko na basted na naman ang kinabagsakan ko, pero salamat sa payo mong i-increase ang quota, natatakot lang siguro ako ma-reject nang ma-reject at makilala bilang madalas ma-basted, hopefully mas marami ako makilala na magustuhan ko din para masubukan kong manligaw nang manligaw.
  • chris9500chris9500 PEx Rookie ⭐
    deleted :: double post
  • chris9500chris9500 PEx Rookie ⭐
    There's a saying, Don't eat where you ****.. or Don't **** where you Eat ba yun?

    Well, First of All, dun sa age mo, ok pa naman yan kaso dapat me Stable na Girlfriend ka na siguro nyan age na yan.

    Dun sa mga panliligaw, alam ko na talagang madaling ma attract sa mga Ka-Opis mates, pero I guess its really a Bad Idea na manligaw sa Opis. Especially yung same Department or Team. Maraming cases na pwede mangyari. Which are not going to be good for you in the end.

    Look for another Girl outside of your main Environment. Wag dun sa pinagtatrabahuhan mo and dun ka nag peperform professionally. Ok lang landi landiin yung mga girls dyan. But never have personal relationships with them.

    Try to find Some dates perhaps, kapitbahay, friend mo from College, Highschool. The likes. Tama yung sinabi nung nauna expand your Horizon..

    yun din ang nasa isip ko, dapat me stable GF na din ako ngayon na pwedeng nakikita ko na sya na yung mapapangasawa ko, nakaka-pressure lang, same comment with jcdy and DaugGreen, salamat
    Wag sya dahil ibig sabihin hindi sya interesado sa yo. Wala nga kayong chamistry at sabi mo mailap. Usually yan ang way ng mga babae to show they are not interested.

    Hindi ka pa pala 30, saka sabi mo sweldong binata ka pa. Wag kang ma-pressure at magmadali. Don't rush into a relationship for the sake na gusto mo nang mag asawa dahil nagkakaidad ka na.

    ganyan na yung mindset ko, na hindi sya interesado kahit minsan tina-try ko sya landiin, it's either nagbibingi-bingihan sya or busy sa work kunwari, well hindi lang naman ako, kahit yung ibang me gusto sa kanya eh tablado din sa kanya
    huwag mo bigyan ng pressure ang sarili mo na magka gf o asawa kaagad. trabaho ka lang muna, travel pag may time. makaka encounter ka rin ng hello kitties, madami diyan.

    salamat sa comment blue_tracer, siguro dala nalang din ng social media na karamihan sa mga ka-edaran ko eh nagkaka-asawa na pati na din yung pagtatanong saken ng parents ko kung kelan ako magkaka-asawa.
    tidge wrote: »
    TS mag ipon ka para makabili ng Mustang GT... hindi mo na kailangang manligaw :lol:

    hahahahah, hanggang simpleng kotse lang ang kaya ko, at pag-iipunan ko pa nang matagal bago mabili
    Alam mo TS just go for it na lang. Try mong makipag close pa sa girl saka ka manligaw. I know mahirap ma reject pero it's really a risk e. Saka paano mo malalaman na it will work kung di mo susubukan.

    Just to relate: I met my partner sa work din. I was also the mailap girl. He took the risk and confessed his feelings kahit tingin niya malabo.

    Paano prior to that ilang beses na syang nag effort na ihatid ako sa bahay pero I always have an excuse. I felt awkward na nililibre at pag tumatawag siya sa phone napapatanong pa ako why he's calling. He didn't know I like him too pero kasi hindi pa siya nagku confess ng feelings nya and I dont want to assume kaya unless wala siyang sabihin I didnt want to respond or participate sa panunuyo niya. Pero we're good friends naman although di din kami close.

    So ayun nga despite my refusals e one day nag confess siya. Eto pa sabi niya "Alam kong malabo pero I want you to know that I really like you but if you dont like me sana walang ilangan and we stay as friends".

    To his surprise derechang sinabi ko din na "I like you too". So fast forward to now 7 years na kami ni partner and going stronger.

    O e kung di siya nag try, o na discourage agad siya sakin e di sana walang kami.

    Haha so go for it TS, if you fail atleast you tried dabah.

    hi pusang_miyaw, ang ganda naman ng love story mo, nakaka-inspire, ano ba sya, gusto mo na din sya bago man sya kumilos sayo? kase from my point of view, oo gusto mo na din sya, and you're just waiting for him to confess, samantalang sa case ko alam kong hindi nya ko gusto dahil me gusto syang iba, yun nga lang yung gusto nya eh hindi sya gusto at pakiramdam namen gay yung type nya, pagdating naman sa ganyan, madalas hindi ako umaatras kase sumasandal ako sa "atleast sinubukan"
    Turning 30 in a few months but I dont want give in to peer pressure. I believe early 30's is still the prime age of a professional to be aggressive for career growth. Most of my batchmates in high school and college ended up being "na ano" during their study with very few who officially wed. Despite their happy facade that they keep posting on facebook they are actually struggling financially. My parents pressuring me to get married so they can have grandchildren, as much as I want to please my parents I cant do it because its a life changing commitment for me as I also want to be happy and fulfilled with my decision not only my parents. My standards for preference is not so high but also not settle in with mediocrity.

    I'm enjoying my life and want to venture further in career opportunities abroad, and having a serious commitment at this time is not practical.

    hi oraorajoestar, sobrang similar pala tayo, yun nga lang magkaiba tayo ng status sa buhay, you're earning a lot and mukhang me naka-ready ka na para sa future mo heheh and agree ako on this one "Despite their happy facade that they keep posting on facebook they are actually struggling financially." ang dami kong kilalang ganyan, minsan nga iniisip ko swerte pa din ako kase kahit wala pa kong GF or asawa eh alam kong kahit papano stable ang buhay ko.
    See TS... this is the motivation that you need 😊

    yes gladyskawaii, nakaka-motivate nga, hopefully pag nag-start ako kumilos sa kanya eh maging positive ang kalabasan, kung hindi eh di "atleast sinubukan" heheh
  • pusang_miyawpusang_miyaw PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    chris9500 wrote: »

    hi pusang_miyaw, ang ganda naman ng love story mo, nakaka-inspire, ano ba sya, gusto mo na din sya bago man sya kumilos sayo? kase from my point of view, oo gusto mo na din sya, and you're just waiting for him to confess, samantalang sa case ko alam kong hindi nya ko gusto dahil me gusto syang iba, yun nga lang yung gusto nya eh hindi sya gusto at pakiramdam namen gay yung type nya, pagdating naman sa ganyan, madalas hindi ako umaatras kase sumasandal ako sa "atleast sinubukan"

    Yes gusto ko na siya before. Pero the point of my story is he didn't know na I also like him until he confessed (Actually akala nya I'm avoiding him haha). Nire relate ko yung situation mo sa perspective ng partner ko. He felt na malabo yet he still tried to tell me his feelings. He took the risk and it went well naman.

    Pero syempre I'm not saying na yung girl na napupusuan mo e magbibigay ng positive response like I did to my partner. Pero like I said, hindi mo malalaman kung di mo susubukan.
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