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A letter to my what could have been

Guys please help me.
I am 33. But all of a sudden I am being haunted by thoughts of a man I knew doesn't have a place in my life.

Neighbour...childhood friend...three years older sa akin. Then when we reach HS, college na siya. He started courting me. On and off. Andyan tapos mawawala. Tapos andyan nanaman. Poetic. I was showered with paintings, poems, loveletters. It run for almost 8 years. I, for some point have seen a potential relationship. But I never reach that point, kasi kapag magkasama kami wala naman siya sinasabi sa feelings niya.

Sorry ha. Kasi nung pamahon namin medyo pakipot pa mga babae. And siguro I was just want to hear it from him.

MY DILEMMA IS THIS :
I am planning to cross the world to go to him and tell him my feelings for him.
Why I'm doing this? Kasi I realized how life is so short. I am doing this for myself! I want to say what is needed habang may buhay.

Tama ba gagawin ko?
Anu ba magandang gawin?

Face him and make it turned to be coincidence kaya ako nandun tapos eventually mg coffee tapos dun ko nalang sabihin lahat or mgsend nalang ako anonymous letter or tawagan ko siya anonymously like I'm passing a message ganun.

I hate thi! Like why we did not dare to try if magwowork. Why oh why. 8 years na panliligaw pero waley?!

Comments

  • He's no way connected to me in any social media form. But when my mom passed away, he was there. He's good friends with my brother. His dad recently passed away, and his dad and my mom had the same rare ailment.

    Di ko alam bakit all of a sudden napapginipan ko siya since last year tapos di na siya mawala sa isip ko.

    Then i realized, di kaya siya *** pinagdadasal ko noon pa kay santa Clara. Lahat kasi ng signs na hininge ko ngayon ko lang naiisip na siya pala yon. Di kaya mali ang basa ko at napunta ako sa maling tao.

    Tapos nito ko lang nalaman nasa FB pala siya. Friends sila ng kapagid ko tapos friends ko mga kapatid niya. Pero bakit di kami connected? May bitterness? Baka meron padin ako g lugar sa puso niya? 💖
  • kurttrukkurttruk PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    kung espesyal man ang tingin niya sa iyo..hindi kayo tatagal ng 8 taon na nauwi lang sa wala.

    at ikaw pa ngayon ang pupunta sa kanya para magtapat.

    kung nangangamba ka na baka wala ng magkagusto sayo at nagtityaga ka na lang sa iisang tao, oh c'mon... 33? marami pang bibingwit sayo mam.

    :naughty:
  • We're both taken already.

    Gusto ko lang sabihin *** mga gusto kong sabihin. Not really to admit it and make a relationship out of it. Like a random convo lang sana. Then i can walk away from it happy, that i was able to say it.
  • NilsNils PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    We're both taken already.

    Gusto ko lang sabihin *** mga gusto kong sabihin. Not really to admit it and make a relationship out of it. Like a random convo lang sana. Then i can walk away from it happy, that i was able to say it.

    What if lang yang umiiral sa utak mo miss. Tigilan mo yang iniisip mo na mas maganda 'siguro' ang nangyayari sa buhay mo kung si neighbor ang nakatuluyan mo. Walang magandang kahihinatnan yang binabalak mong lumipad pa sa kung anong lugar para lang masabi mo yung iniisip mong gusto mong sabihin. Akala mo lang kaya mong sabihin yan nasasa-loob mo. Asa pa!
    Walang matinding emotion kang naramdaman para sa taong 8 taon kang niligawan tapos ngayon nag-iilusyon ka na dahil bumyahe ka pa para lang makita sya eh biglang para kang tinamaan ng pana ni kupido na hindi arrow ang ibinala kundi sibat?
    Naiisip mo lang gawin yang binabalak mo dahil hindi mo nakukuha ang ideal life na iniisip mong makamtan kapag nakipag relasyon ka na. Reality did not match your expectation at ginagamit mong escape route si ex-suitor para makatakas sa buhay na hindi mo nagugustuhan. Mas maganda na kausapin mo ang ka-partner mo ngayon at sabihin mo sa kanya kung anong klaseng buhay/relasyon/pagtrato ang gusto mo o kaya eh makipaghiwalay ka na lang at maghanap ng ibang kapartner na magbibigay sa iyo ng hinahangad mo.
  • ako nga kasi ang may problema!!!
    Napaka complicated ko. I like complications.

    Binasa mo ba ng mabuti?! Gusto ko sya makausap. I want to say what I want to say, rather nit saying nothing at all. He has no idea how much Feelings I have for him then and now. No, not an escape route. But the urge that I have to let it all out is bugging me.

    Oh edi anu anonymous message nalang????
    Feeling ko kasi may unfinished business akong kailangan tapusin. Or else i will not be able to move forward or else his ghost will keep on haunting me. This what ifs...

    Bka pag nakita ko siya sakaling magbagu isip ko. I can really tell it to myself if I have these feelings or wala...

    Arte arte pa kasi puro pa pakipot! Ayan napapala!
  • Hindi ba maaaring tawagan na lang? VOIP o overseas call? Bakit kailangan pang puntahan? Baka sirain pa ninyo ang inyong mga buhay!

    [#]MatandaKaNa[/#] [#]AlamMoNaAngTamaSaMali[/#]
  • NilsNils PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    ako nga kasi ang may problema!!!
    Napaka complicated ko. I like complications.

    Binasa mo ba ng mabuti?! Gusto ko sya makausap. I want to say what I want to say, rather nit saying nothing at all. He has no idea how much Feelings I have for him then and now. No, not an escape route. But the urge that I have to let it all out is bugging me.

    Oh edi anu anonymous message nalang????
    Feeling ko kasi may unfinished business akong kailangan tapusin. Or else i will not be able to move forward or else his ghost will keep on haunting me. This what ifs...

    Bka pag nakita ko siya sakaling magbagu isip ko. I can really tell it to myself if I have these feelings or wala...

    Arte arte pa kasi puro pa pakipot! Ayan napapala!

    If you are living the dream life you wanted when you decide to have a relationship, then you wouldn't have these what if BS. Walang kaproble-problemang mag move forward. Why look back at what could have been if you are experiencing what you've always wanted?

    Bottom line, reality is not living up to your dreams. Wake up call, reality never does. You are the one who will build your life. If you keep wishing things weren't this way and that way and wondering if they would be the way you wanted them to be if you made a different decision in the past, your life will be [email protected] The only way you'll be happy for the rest of your life is if you make a conscious effort at making your life a happy one. Making decisions that will shape your present and future to be happy times.

    Alam mo pala kung ano ang problema, napaka 'complicated' mo kamo, napaka arte, napaka pakipot. Do something about the problem which is you. Huwag mong iasa na pag ibang tao ang pumasok sa buhay mo eh biglang magliliwanag ang mundo at biglang mababago ang ugali mo. :lol:
  • Kawawang guy na friendzone mo..
  • buo na yata naman ang desisyon ni TS e.
    ...and so far, she is not liking what she is reading here.
  • tidgetidge PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    TS SOP muna kayo tingnan mo kung compatible kayo, wag kang pakipot kung hindi na makipot yan ok? :glee:

    good luck!
  • DacsDacs PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    Hate to say this, but saying your feelings for the sake of saying it is crap. You want (and it will, if he reciprocates) to escalate this further.

    Not that I'm saying there's nothing wrong with that (and all the best kung maging kayo), but don't delude yourself that you're doing this "just to move forward".

    In my view, you want to move forward with him at your side. You're taking a huge gamble though. What if he has actually moved on?
  • MoonStruckMoonStruck PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    To TS, before you waste time traveling across the world, find him on social media first. Most likely, may asawa na yan. Kung wala naman, contact him online muna to see if there's still a spark.
  • pusang_miyawpusang_miyaw PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    TS just reading your thoughts parang ikaw yung tipong hopeless romantic na nasobrahan siguro sa kakapanood ng soap opera o romantic movies. Para kasing masyadong dramatic yung pag -iisip mo (Pinagdadasal kay Santa Clara, napanaginipan, mga signs, magtatravel ng malayo para kunwari coincidence tapos magkakape etc). I think you need a reality check. Tulad ng sinabi ni Nils I think you're not happy with your current relationship kaya bigla mong naiisip ang mga bagay na to. Ask yourself plenty of times bago mo gawin ang binabalak mo.
    Anyway, in case na ituloy mo ngang mag confess sa kanya.... atleast make it practical. Sabi mo taken na din siya diba? Idaan mo na lang sa social media kesa babyahe ka pa.

    Sa totoo lang i dont think closure lang ang habol mo. The fact na sinabi mong baka may lugar ka pa din sa puso niya, I think you're still hoping na may patutunguhan yung confession mo sa kanya.

    PS kasi naman 8 years na pagpapakipot? Ok ka lang?
  • balbolskibalbolski PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    bakit nyo ba pinipigilan si TS mag travel eh sawa na sya sa cybersex! takam na takam na sa.... the onedick that got away... :glee:
  • littlegurllittlegurl PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    ^ Sa 8 years ba nila na landian walang nangyari kaya?

    TS hey update please.
  • tidgetidge PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    ^^ FR kamo :lol:
  • balbolskibalbolski PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    littlegurl wrote: »
    ^ Sa 8 years ba nila na landian walang nangyari kaya?

    TS hey update please.

    alam mo sagot dyan :glee:
  • littlegurllittlegurl PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    balbolski wrote: »
    alam mo sagot dyan :glee:

    Mali pala unang post ko.

    Ulit. TS, sa 8years niyo, paki FR naman lahat nang nagyari.
  • saweverythingsaweverything PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    ako nga kasi ang may problema!!!
    Napaka complicated ko. I like complications.

    Binasa mo ba ng mabuti?! Gusto ko sya makausap. I want to say what I want to say, rather nit saying nothing at all. He has no idea how much Feelings I have for him then and now. No, not an escape route. But the urge that I have to let it all out is bugging me.

    Oh edi anu anonymous message nalang????
    Feeling ko kasi may unfinished business akong kailangan tapusin. Or else i will not be able to move forward or else his ghost will keep on haunting me. This what ifs...

    Bka pag nakita ko siya sakaling magbagu isip ko. I can really tell it to myself if I have these feelings or wala...

    Arte arte pa kasi puro pa pakipot! Ayan napapala!

    your both taken so paano ?
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