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Marriage Counseling and Family Planning in the Philippines - What is it like?

My fiance and I will have a civil wedding this December and have to go to marriage counselling followed by family planning. Supposed to last 4 hours per session, 8 hours in total starting at 8am. Neither of us want to go but we have to according the law. Bypassing the sessions and going straight to marriage certificate and licensing will require a fixer and cost like 15k. So I said screw it, lets just pay the 100peso fee and attend a session.

My question is: what is it like? What do they do for the ENTIRE 4 hours and then the NEXT 4 hours? Do people ever question the counselor and give them a hard time like "why are you teaching us this?" just to entertain themselves because they don't want to be there. My fiance and I were planning on giving the counselor a hard time because neither of us want to attend lol. I'm so curious to what happens. Are there any activities? Any Q&A? Or is it just lecture? We're doing our session in Makati.

Comments

  • Da counseling will just waist your time.... :glee:
  • blue_acidblue_acid PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    It depends on who is organising it but its usually lecture and there are activities and such.

    It's not so bad. Yes, I wouldn't do it if the law didn't require us to but then I picked up one or few things as well.
  • compwiz02compwiz02 PEx Rookie ⭐
    Just to give you guys an update. My fiance and I went through it the other day. Counseling started one hour later then expected...probably an hour or so of lecture, then probably 15-20 minutes of introduction (each couple had to introduce themselves at the beginning), then after the lecture we had to fill out our marriage license application then go on lunch break.

    Overall, the counseling lady was, from what I observed, a nice lady but very conservative. We all had to fill out questionnaires and instead of allowing the couples to discuss the questionnaires, she ended up sharing her own personal experiences and giving us her own advice which had so many flaws and were very subjective. Told us stuff that I pretty much already knew and stuff that I could have objected against.

    Family planning....the lady arrived a half hour late and gave us a questionnaire, which she spend maybe 10 minutes reading on her own. We filled out the attendance sheet while she was quietly reading our answers. Then she picked the top 3 questionnaires that she liked best and read some of the answers. My fiance and I....our answers got picked as one of the best lol. One of the questions was to enumerate the different methods in which you can prevent pregnancy. My fiance went all out and listed like 10 different methods and we were both cracking up because the lady told us that we wrote too much but it all made sense. Then she commended us for giving a good answer for "how many children do you intent to have?" because we ended up putting the names down of our future children lol. overall, the questionnaire had stupid cliche questions that we put down serious but humorous answers to. then the lady spent maybe 45 minutes lecturing on what being pregnant will be like, where to go when you are pregnant, what it will be like to have kids, and that's pretty much it. Then she gave everybody brochures (which was in Tagalog). Then she signed everybody's pre-marriage certification and let us leave.

    So overall, it was pretty much a waste of time...but not too bad. They don't really tell you anything significant that you should not already know. They finish early. What takes the most time is waiting, filling out the forms, and then filing the documents.
  • compwiz02 wrote: »
    So overall, it was pretty much a waste of time

    Iyan na nga ba ang sinasabi ko sa iyo, e. Ewan ko sa iyo bakit gusto mo magpakasal sa Pinas kung saan maraming kaartehan.... :glee:
  • compwiz02compwiz02 PEx Rookie ⭐
    Iyan na nga ba ang sinasabi ko sa iyo, e. Ewan ko sa iyo bakit gusto mo magpakasal sa Pinas kung saan maraming kaartehan.... :glee:

    Had to translate what you posted into English :P Well, I * could* get married in another country but that would involved a lot of paperwork, expenses, and planning. I'm not one of those people who believes that going outside the Philippines is the solution to making life better. Want to go outside the country? Better have a lot of money in your savings and prepare to WORK HARD. Philippines is not too bad if you do not mind the government and the idiots.
  • vincexvincex PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    I've attended several of these marriage counseling things esp. since I'm involved in some NGO's related to family stuff.

    My take on it. Practically all of them were archaic and a total waste of time.

    It's like the time I attended a talk on dating (male and female were separate groups) by christian groups. Really archaic and still in the dark ages. A good way to get in trouble.

    A good head on your shoulders and lots of introspection will help more.

    After all, the blind leading the blind will get them nowhere.
  • compwiz02compwiz02 PEx Rookie ⭐
    vincex wrote: »
    I've attended several of these marriage counseling things esp. since I'm involved in some NGO's related to family stuff.

    My take on it. Practically all of them were archaic and a total waste of time.

    It's like the time I attended a talk on dating (male and female were separate groups) by christian groups. Really archaic and still in the dark ages. A good way to get in trouble.

    A good head on your shoulders and lots of introspection will help more.

    After all, the blind leading the blind will get them nowhere.

    I agree. Marriage counseling has like no impact on Filipino couples. Yes, families are very close together....very family-oriented, but that is a culture thing, not counseling. Married couples should be told to "STOP HAVING SEX AND GIVING BIRTH TO MULTIPLE CHILDREN" which leads to poverty and troubled families. Unfortunately, marriage counseling is all about trying to instill conservative and outdated tips to couples to get them to live a certain way. But meh whatever....just get it over with. The Philippines is such a hypocritical country, I tend to not mind a lot of what is going on.
  • HI,

    Can you provide the requirements of the marriage counseling seminar? Also, I am getting married this coming Feb, is it already okay to attend the counseling this month?
  • vincexvincex PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    The requirement? A fiancee I guess.
  • compwiz02compwiz02 PEx Rookie ⭐
    an you provide the requirements of the marriage counseling seminar? Also, I am getting married this coming Feb, is it already okay to attend the counseling this month?

    Submit all of your marriage requirements to the city hall (talk to someone behind a window counter) or the church if doing a church wedding. My wife works in the city hall so it was kinda easy for us.

    You don't actually submit anything but you will be required to have everything with you before scheduling a session, which consists of multiple couples in one big room.
    The requirement? A fiancee I guess.

    LOL
  • vincexvincex PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    HI,

    Can you provide the requirements of the marriage counseling seminar? Also, I am getting married this coming Feb, is it already okay to attend the counseling this month?

    Don't bother. Unless its a requirement of your documents or procedure. Even then, bring some jackstones or pokemon cards while your at it.
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