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The Wife List: 10 Qualities


"Well, I can sum up most of my friends’ lists right here: 1.Blonde, 2. Skinny, 3. Hot. A few others might include: she likes football, she drinks beer with my buds, and she’s at least a full C. No matter what I write below, that list isn’t going away for some of you guys. We’re all stubborn, but we can also be authentic. Sometimes we have to learn the hard way.

Earlier this week, I wrote the article An Uncrafty Guy’s Guide to Making a Vision Board about keeping you visually focused on your dreams. Should we be specific about the woman we want to marry? Absolutely. However, make a list with long-term vision. Most of the characteristics we think we want in a wife aren’t ones that make for a good, lifelong relationship. They are characteristics of a woman we want for one night.

Just like character is the most important quality of a good guy, the woman you’re going to marry should have good character as well. When you find her, she is more valuable than anything. Here are 10 qualities of good future wife material:

1. She shares your beliefs

When it comes to finding your wife, I’ve heard “equally yoked.” It has nothing to do with weightlifting for those of you guys who like muscle women. Your potential wife should have the same beliefs you have. Now, you may think you can do some missionary dating, and turn that situation around so she will believe everything you do. You’re probably going to be very disappointed with some bad side effects. If you don’t have the same core beliefs….good luck.

2. She makes you a better man

If everyday is hell with her, that should be a red flag. Your potential wife should elevate you to Yourself 2.0. You can get a good idea from your friends and family. Do they say you act differently in a bad way when you are around her? Not a good sign. She should bring out the best in you, not bring out heartache and frayed nerves.

3. She’s trustworthy

In fact, she should inspire trustworthiness within you. If you don’t trust her, you’re probably making her as bitter as you’re making yourself. Not worth it. If you can’t trust her, maybe you’re not ready to date her or maybe you need to work on confidence issues within yourself. If there’s good reason not to trust her, don’t even go there. Just like any cheater, it’s bound to happen again.

4. She has ambition

She should have strength in character and carry herself with confidence. As a man, you should be the leader in the relationship, but for any dictators who feel justified here; we’re talking servant leadership. You probably don’t want the consummate follower either. She should have plans too. In fact, she should be a hard worker just like you. That doesn’t mean having a job is a requirement. One of my friends is a stay-at-home wife with three kids, and she works harder than any of my friends with careers.

5. She’s selfless

She should care about others. Look at the way she treats her family and her friends. If she’s not close with her family, and doesn’t have any good friends, that’s not a good sign. If you start dating her, much less marry her, you will discover why soon enough. Some questions to ask yourself: Does she care about causes? Does she go out and volunteer? Does she give change to the needy or buy them a meal? These are important characteristics to consider.

6. She’s attractive

In your eyes, she should be a “10.” When my wife walks in the room, I’m awestruck by her every time. She’s beautiful from the inside out. However, I’ve dated “hot” girls who ended up being downright ugly by the time we broke up. Personality plays into attractiveness big-time. Just remember, “charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting.” She should be beautiful down to her soul because that kind of beauty lasts forever.

7. She’s smart

You’re going to be spending a lot of time with her, so she should be able to hold a good conversation. She should be wise, smart, and give you good advice. Her women’s intuition should be strong. I look to my wife all the time for advice. She’s collected all sorts of wisdom from her mom. She remembers everything. Yes, everything….maybe too much.

8. She loves you unconditionally

If she’s trying to change you to be another person, it’s time to move on. Your future wife should love you just as you are, regardless of anything you’ve done in your past. There will be minor adjustments along the way, but if she nags you about your core characteristics, it won’t get any better in marriage.

9. She’s responsible

Does she remember appointments and meetings? Does she flake all of the time? She should already do a good job of managing her own life. If she’s got loads of debt and doesn’t work, you’re going to be taking all of that on. Ultimately, she will have some part in your financial well-being, and guess what? Finances remain one of the leading causes of divorce.

10. She gets along with your family and friends

If she doesn’t even try to connect with your family and/or friends, let her go. She shouldn’t be critical of the people who you love and have been loyal to you throughout your life. There might be cases where your mom doesn’t like your future wife, and that may require your intervention; but in general, she should be a good fit with the people in your life. Marriage is a joining of two lives that existed prior to meeting the other person.

When it comes down to it, you know what you can handle. Love can overwrite any of the qualities above, but having these qualities will certainly make your lives easier once you are married. No one’s perfect. Even with this list, both of you are still going to bring some kind of baggage into the relationship. Make sure premarital counseling is a huge priority once you find her. My wife and I did a relationship bootcamp in addition to premarital counseling. One session just doesn’t cut it. Throw everything but the kitchen sink at the most important decision you will ever make."


  • PrikongkongPrikongkong PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    My wife hates my big tummy. Is that a red flag?
  • I think I got everything with my soon-to-be-wife except sa no. 4.

    hindi naman sa wala sya ambition, just that mas inuuna nya isipin ang pamilya nya. I'm trying to encourage her na idiscover kung ano talaga gusto nya career-wise pero so far di pa talaga sya sure. Ang gusto nya *** sa ngayon makatulong sa pamilya nya

    I'm trying my best to encourager her, siguro kaya din ako gumawa ng blog para sa knya. You can check it below btw :D
  • gotta lick itgotta lick it PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    sir ..... there is no such thing as a perfect wife.
  • siyadosiyado PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    i kind of agree with this list, but not too strict on #1. the thing is, the personality characteristics that lead to these qualities often clash. for example, a woman who is truly ambitious has a natural tendency to put herself before other people. it really is all about what personal balance between the characteristics the woman is aiming to achieve, assuming she even thinks that deeply about her personality and seeks to better herself. a lot of people out there are purely emotionally driven.
  • vincexvincex PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    My wife hates my big tummy. Is that a red flag?

    No. It is #2.
    Now go do something about it.
  • mcsteamy17mcsteamy17 PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    rickym wrote: »
    1. She shares your beliefs

    When it comes to finding your wife, I’ve heard “equally yoked.” It has nothing to do with weightlifting for those of you guys who like muscle women. Your potential wife should have the same beliefs you have. Now, you may think you can do some missionary dating, and turn that situation around so she will believe everything you do. You’re probably going to be very disappointed with some bad side effects. If you don’t have the same core beliefs….good luck.

    I’m not so sure with Number 1.

    Even if you have found your partner for life, one thing will be certain:

    Women will always be women.

    You believe you’ve met “The One”pero… maling akala.

    …akala mo nahanap mo na ang kapareho mo.
    …akala mo everything will be alright.
    …akala mo magkakasundo kayo sa pagtanda na walang awayan.
    …akala mo lahat ng gusto mo susundin niya.
    …akala mo match kayo. MATCH nga kayo parang sa boxing na nagpapalitan ng diskusyon kapag di kayo nagkasundo sa isang bagay(o sa isang walang kabagay-bagay na dahilan).

    …akala mo na makakatulog ka ng mahimbing katabi siya, na okay-alright kayong dalawa.

    Sa una talaga, masaya kayong dalawa, parang walang wakas ang pareho niyong nadarama. Pero ang totoo, may realidad na dapat tanggapin. Ikaw Lalake ka, single-minded o straightforward kung mag-isip. Etong si Babae pabago-bago at unpredictable. Sa paningin ng lalake, isang linya lang ang lahat. Or black and white. Pero lumalabas, madalas na ma-prove tayong mga lalake na mali. Nature ng babae, na minsan kokontrahin ang ating sinasabi at ginagawa. Minsan ‘nambabasag’ sila na di mo inaasahan. Barado ka at tameme. Na-soplex niya ang iyong pride. Parang bumabaligtad na ito at gusto ka na i-laglag. Minsan, susupalpalin ka nila at ang iyong mga paniniwala at ku-questionin nila ang mga prinsipyo mo. Parang binabale-wala nila ang mga pinanghahawakan mo sa buhay. Pipilitin nila minsan na i-diin ang gusto nilang mangyari hanggang makuha nila gusto nila. Minsan ipaparamdam/ipapamukha sa iyo na yung belief systems mo ay olats. Talagang challenging ang mga babae. I-tetest nila ang iyong pasensya na hanggang sa maubos na ito at mauuwi karaniwan sa bangayan at awayan. May time siguro na darating sa ating mga lalake na gising ka sa hatinggabi at maitatanong mo sa sarili mo: “Ito ba talaga ang dating minahal ko ? “ At mapapa-isip ka kahit ika’y nagtatrabaho, “Nag-iba na siya, bakit niya ako ginaganito ?” Feeling mo parang tinatarantad0 ka, o ginagag0 yung mga prinsipyo mo. Pero hindi dapat nag-iisip ang lalake ng ganito.

    Mahal ka niya.

    Siguro nagagawa niya ang mga ganon dahil sa pagmamahal niya sa iyo o may need siyang mai-tuwid sa tama ang mga bagay na mukha namang okay o normal naman. O, minsan sadyang KSP lang ang mga babae at sinosoplex tayo…dahil naghahanap sila ng attention at lambing.

    Kung challenging ang mga babae, mas matindi ang darating na mga PAGBABAGO sa relationship. Parehong willing dapat mag-adjust at sumabay sa mga pagbabago. Ang tanong: Handa ba kayong tulungan ang isa’t-isa sa mga pagbabagong darating ?

    Pareho, pero magkaiba… …aaahhhh… :dizzy:
  • vincexvincex PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    I can eliminate #8.
    It is unreasonable for a man to expect unconditional love when we know for a fact that our love for our partner has conditions.

    Our partner has met those conditions and that is why we partnered with them.
    To assume unconditional love may sound romantic and positive but is actually stupid.
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