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The Real Man

The author describes what a real man should be. Does he still exist?

From this article http://jamesmsama.wordpress.com/2013/11/06/10-ways-to-know-youre-dating-a-real-man/

10 WAYS TO KNOW YOU’RE DATING A REAL MAN

I’ve made posts in the past about qualities of a gentleman, as well as the differences between a ‘bad boy’ and a jerk. But, how does this all translate into how somebody acts while in a relationship?

A man may be able to put across a great image, but it could simply be a cover for hidden shortcomings, or he could just be totally faking it to ‘get the girl.’

Here are some ways to know if you’ve struck gold:

A real man values more than just your looks.

Is every compliment from him about a different body part? It doesn’t matter how creative he can be, if a guy’s sole focus is on how you look, or ‘talking dirty,’ see it as a red flag. A real man will value your personality, your kindness, your intelligence, and who you are as a person, in general. The things he makes you feel good about will be things that you control, not just results of getting lucky in the gene pool.

A real man will never be intimidated by your motivation.

A man who has goals for himself, will want to be with a woman who has goals for her own life, too. He will never feel intimidated or threatened by a woman who goes after what she wants. He will want to be part of a power couple, rather than a dictatorship. Be mindful of anyone who tries to keep you from pursuing your dreams.

A real man will have more interests than just you.

I don’t mean this in a negative way. You should, of course, be a priority in his life – but he needs to have a life as well. Interests, friends, hobbies, aspirations. If a man works his entire life around you, it’s another red flag – relationships should be a great part of your life, but not encompass your whole life.

A real man will give you answers.

No matter how awkward or uncomfortable a situation is, a real man will approach it, and you, with respect. I have always felt that a mark of a man is how he handles conflict, criticism, and less-than-ideal situations. A man will not dance around answers or make excuses. If there is something you two need to talk about, he will talk about it.

A real man is direct.

In addition to the last point – there will be no mind games or manipulation in your relationship. A man will be direct, to the point, and honest with you…but with kindness.

A real man will trust you.

As long as you haven’t betrayed his trust, a man will NOT be paranoid, or snoop around invading your privacy to make sure you’re not doing anything bad. He will have confidence in your relationship. A boy will project his own insecurities onto you, and like termites in a house, will eat away at the foundation of what you’ve built.

A real man is cool, calm, and collected.

It should be understood that part of what comes with the territory of having a girlfriend, is dealing with her getting hit on. If you’re at the bar together, or if she’s out with her friends, it goes without saying that your girlfriend will get hit on every once in awhile.

Instead of letting his primate instincts prevail and beating his chest like an angry gorilla to scare off competition, a confident man will calmly make his position known, and understand that you’re still going home with him at the end of the night.

A real man will show you respect.

Nothing signifies an empty shell of a man more than someone who disrespects women, animals, or children. A real man will treat you with the respect that you deserve, never force you to do anything you’re uncomfortable with, and never mistreat you. Be honest enough with yourself to walk away from any situation that is dangerous to you, physically or emotionally.

A real man will put effort into your relationship.

Boys are generally apathetic and just look for one thing from a woman. A man, will do what it takes to make you happy, both inside and outside of the bedroom. Your happiness, is his reward.

A real man will make you want to be the best version of yourself, without changing who you really are.

A man will empower those around him. He will strive for greatness and therefore inspire others to strive for it as well. This not only includes friends and co-workers, but also significant others.

As Mark Twain said - Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

If you do have one of these men in your life, make sure he knows he is appreciated.
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Comments

  • mcsteamy17mcsteamy17 PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐

    A real man will put effort into your relationship.

    Boys are generally apathetic and just look for one thing from a woman. A man, will do what it takes to make you happy, both inside and outside of the bedroom. Your happiness, is his reward.

    ...and this is my ultimate goal... oohhh...










    Como feliz usted me hace... ...aaahhhh...
    :dizzy:
  • darmonxdarmonx PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    direct?
    will give you answers?
    will trust you?
    will respect you?

    lol.. you really want that kind of guy. what if you can't handle his directness? what if you don't like the answers he gives you? what if you break his trusts? what if you lose his respect?

    you are walking on a thin line girl. you get that kind of guy, you can't make any mistakes. good luck having fun with your real man.
  • JameauxJameaux PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    Ehem... :glee:
  • rickymrickym PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    darmonx wrote: »
    direct?
    will give you answers?
    will trust you?
    will respect you?

    lol.. you really want that kind of guy. what if you can't handle his directness? what if you don't like the answers he gives you? what if you break his trusts? what if you lose his respect?

    you are walking on a thin line girl. you get that kind of guy, you can't make any mistakes. good luck having fun with your real man.

    Then she is not a real girl.
  • Alpha_GreenAlpha_Green PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    May I add?

    Real men should be working more on these qualities mentioned if they want to get the woman they want rather than investing much into going to the gym working on their abs, biceps or whatever, thinking that it is enough to make women swoon over them.
  • NilsNils PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    A real man will give you answers.
    A real man is direct.
    A real man will trust you.
    A real man is cool, calm, and collected.
    A real man will show you respect.
    A real man will put effort into your relationship.

    If you ask a real man if you are fat and you really are, he will be honest and direct and say Yes. He trusts that you are going to be an adult about it and he respects your ability to accept the truth. If you cannot handle the truth, he will be cool, calm and collected while you rage against him being 'insensitive'. After your tantrums, he is going to put effort into the relationship by giving you the apology you need to calm down even though it is your own fault why you went all berserk on him.

    A real man will make you want to be the best version of yourself, without changing who you really are.

    Hell yeah! We want you to be the sexiest you can be and still love us even though we'd rather sit on the sofa all day than hit the gym.
  • blue_tracerblue_tracer PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    a real man will give you multiple-orgasm. :rotflmao:
  • A real man will look at hot chicks, while a false man will look at the dress of the hot chicks.
  • Nils wrote: »
    If you ask a real man if you are fat and you really are, he will be honest and direct and say Yes. He trusts that you are going to be an adult about it and he respects your ability to accept the truth. If you cannot handle the truth, he will be cool, calm and collected while you rage against him being 'insensitive'. After your tantrums, he is going to put effort into the relationship by giving you the apology you need to calm down even though it is your own fault why you went all berserk on him.
    Hindi pa parang naging one way na *** relationship, if *** guy ang laging kailangan magadjust dahil *** nde kaya ihandle ng girl *** totoo?
    -earth
  • NilsNils PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    jd81716 wrote: »
    Hindi pa parang naging one way na *** relationship, if *** guy ang laging kailangan magadjust dahil *** nde kaya ihandle ng girl *** totoo?
    -earth

    His fault, he chose the wrong girl. He can pick a less stressful girl to have a relationship with.
  • rickymrickym PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    Nils wrote: »
    A real man will give you answers.
    A real man is direct.
    A real man will trust you.
    A real man is cool, calm, and collected.
    A real man will show you respect.
    A real man will put effort into your relationship.

    If you ask a real man if you are fat and you really are, he will be honest and direct and say Yes. He trusts that you are going to be an adult about it and he respects your ability to accept the truth. If you cannot handle the truth, he will be cool, calm and collected while you rage against him being 'insensitive'. After your tantrums, he is going to put effort into the relationship by giving you the apology you need to calm down even though it is your own fault why you went all berserk on him.

    A real man will make you want to be the best version of yourself, without changing who you really are.

    Hell yeah! We want you to be the sexiest you can be and still love us even though we'd rather sit on the sofa all day than hit the gym.

    how about a real man does not bear unreasonableness from a woman and finds a good way of leaving her without looking like an a-hole.
  • vincexvincex PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    darmonx wrote: »
    direct?
    will give you answers?
    will trust you?
    will respect you?

    lol.. you really want that kind of guy. what if you can't handle his directness? what if you don't like the answers he gives you? what if you break his trusts? what if you lose his respect?

    you are walking on a thin line girl. you get that kind of guy, you can't make any mistakes. good luck having fun with your real man.

    I agree.
    Most people can't handle the truth. There are many truths in life and sometimes all it takes is one truth to ruin everything for someone with issues. Which happens to be a whole lot of people. Guys and girls both.

    As for respect and a whole lot of other things have to be EARNED and not entitled.
  • vincexvincex PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    Nils wrote: »
    A real man will give you answers.
    A real man is direct.
    A real man will trust you.
    A real man is cool, calm, and collected.
    A real man will show you respect.
    A real man will put effort into your relationship.

    If you ask a real man if you are fat and you really are, he will be honest and direct and say Yes. He trusts that you are going to be an adult about it and he respects your ability to accept the truth. If you cannot handle the truth, he will be cool, calm and collected while you rage against him being 'insensitive'. After your tantrums, he is going to put effort into the relationship by giving you the apology you need to calm down even though it is your own fault why you went all berserk on him.

    A real man will make you want to be the best version of yourself, without changing who you really are.

    Hell yeah! We want you to be the sexiest you can be and still love us even though we'd rather sit on the sofa all day than hit the gym.

    When I was younger I used to do that. Apparently I didn't win any friends being honest. Even if you try to be nice about it, most people know what you really insinuate and they still don't appreciate it.
  • NilsNils PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    rickym wrote: »
    how about a real man does not bear unreasonableness from a woman and finds a good way of leaving her without looking like an a-hole.

    para ka namang babaeng naghahanap ng ideal man... no sch thing... if a guy leaves his girl, he's always the a-hole...
  • vincexvincex PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    ^ Sometimes all it takes is some level of difference which goes against one or the other parties preference. Doesn't take an a-hole to leave the other party. Man or woman.
  • NilsNils PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    vincex wrote: »
    ^ Sometimes all it takes is some level of difference which goes against one or the other parties preference. Doesn't take an a-hole to leave the other party. Man or woman.

    You'll get no argument from me if we are going to look at things logically. But that is not what happens in real life. If a guy leaves a woman, he's an a-hole. Even if he has valid reasons why he did it, there will always be reasons why it is his fault. :lol:
  • ka_denizka_deniz PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    So why bother being a "real" man? Fantasy lang ng mga pangit yan.

    Gusto ba talaga ng mga babae na ginagalang sila at nirerespeto?
  • If you decide to wait until you find "a real man," you will die ng luhaan. I'm not saying settle for something less than what you deserve, pero we need to be reasonable when it comes to how you expect a man to be.

    The real man is not real. Wala naman lalaki who will meet all the criteria (kung meron man, they are either taken, gay or into priesthood). We need to learn to accept their shortcomings instead of forcing them to become this idea that we have in our head.
  • rickymrickym PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    LilaFowler wrote: »
    If you decide to wait until you find "a real man," you will die ng luhaan. I'm not saying settle for something less than what you deserve, pero we need to be reasonable when it comes to how you expect a man to be.

    The real man is not real. Wala naman lalaki who will meet all the criteria (kung meron man, they are either taken, gay or into priesthood). We need to learn to accept their shortcomings instead of forcing them to become this idea that we have in our head.

    there is another option you know.

    the real man is not interested in these women looking for real men because they are not good enough for him.
  • vincexvincex PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    ^ Excellent point.

    It's like that other thread 10 NON NEGOTIABLES or somethinglike that. Those considerations are too poorly considered to put it politely. Only a loser would stoop down to the kind of partner looking for those and be honest about it.
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