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anyone else experiencing this?

Yung parang yeah, you watch homosexual ***** and get aroused, vice versa for heterosexual ones, (so yes, gay) pero hindi mo pa rin nakikita sarili mo having a homosexual relationship, nakikita mo pa rin na you'll have a female partner in the future (but doesn't mind some bromances here and there without actually coming out). You don't see yourself as a woman trapped in a man's body, lalaki pa rin tingin mo sa sarili mo (well for me kasi it's either you're male or female, walang in between. Preference lang yun arousal thing). So parang forever in the closet, like it' just a hidden side of you, although I'm not saying na finafake mo yung pagiging hetero in actions kasi yun talaga yung goal mo. Para bang we'll see how it goes, basta magkaaasawa ako ng babae and magkakaanak kami, hopefully. Hind naman delusional, as in sa perspective mo lang talaga it's how it's supposed to be.

Comments

  • I believe that it would be unfair to both you and your future wife if you keep telling yourself blindly that you love her. I don't want to insinuate anything further so I'm just going to share my experience.

    I think I know how you feel, in my case, I used to tell myself that this is just a phase, something that I'll grow out of, something that I can look back to and laugh about when I'm old. But the more intimate I get with myself and the more pensive and mature I become - I begin to realize that what I want to be and who I really am are very different people.

    It all boils down to who you are and what you want to do. If you believe that you want a family in the near future then do things that you won't regret. Do wholesome things and never allow yourself to be in a position to think about the "what ifs" and "if only".
  • akosivinceakosivince PEx Rookie ⭐
    Ganyan rin ako dati until nagka boyfriend ako. Siyempre as much as possible, you'll want to live a normal life kahit na iba yung tinitibok ng puso mo.

    Ako kasi, nung nagkaboyfriend ako, nasimulan ko iconsider yung option na mag ampon na lang pagtanda namin, or maghire ng baby maker.
  • myworkload wrote: »
    I believe that it would be unfair to both you and your future wife if you keep telling yourself blindly that you love her. I don't want to insinuate anything further so I'm just going to share my experience.

    I never said I'm not capable of loving a woman.
    I think I know how you feel, in my case, I used to tell myself that this is just a phase, something that I'll grow out of, something that I can look back to and laugh about when I'm old. But the more intimate I get with myself and the more pensive and mature I become - I begin to realize that what I want to be and who I really am are very different people.

    Sige experience mo to pero just to clear things up, I also never said na I think phase lang to. Hindi rin ito want, like, yung dinescribe ko, it's not exactly an ideal self. It's just how it's supposed to be. Ganun eh, so ganun din ang expectations ko for the future.
    It all boils down to who you are and what you want to do. If you believe that you want a family in the near future then do things that you won't regret. Do wholesome things and never allow yourself to be in a position to think about the "what ifs" and "if only".

    Wala akong sinabi about homosexual experiences so safe to say na wholesome ako mula pa noon. Ironically, medyo taboo pa siya sa akin. Although minsan napapangunahan ako kapag libog but hanggan doon lang yun.
  • akosivince wrote: »
    Ganyan rin ako dati until nagka boyfriend ako. Siyempre as much as possible, you'll want to live a normal life kahit na iba yung tinitibok ng puso mo.

    Uh, wala akong sinabing may nagpapatibok sa puso ko na lalaki. Like I said, parang preference lang siya sa arousal.
    Ako kasi, nung nagkaboyfriend ako, nasimulan ko iconsider yung option na mag ampon na lang pagtanda namin, or maghire ng baby maker.
  • well I'm sorry if I have offended you or answered in manner off from what you expected, I had no intention of putting you in a situation that would make you uncomfortable. I'm sorry.
  • myworkload wrote: »
    well I'm sorry if I have offended you or answered in manner off from what you expected, I had no intention of putting you in a situation that would make you uncomfortable. I'm sorry.

    nope not at all. I'm just responding. Hindi ako offended, trust me. :)
  • if you didn't want to elicit empathy, you shouldn't have asked us if we were experiencing this then contradict us with our statement. It just makes us feel bad for replying. :depressed:
  • myworkload wrote: »
    if you didn't want to elicit empathy, you shouldn't have asked us if we were experiencing this then contradict us with our statement. It just makes us feel bad for replying. :depressed:

    uh, okay. sorry.
  • RegzedsRegzeds PEx Rookie ⭐
    @arctophylax,

    I was also like that before. In college, nagkaroon ako ng barkada. So chill lang, palagi ko kasama uminom, sa gimik, etc etc. After a few months, he introduced me to his GF, i did not understand why i felt bad. Parang naiinis ako sa babae. Dun ko lang na-realize na i was falling for my friend. I hated myself after that, really really hated myself. Kasi i did not see myself having a relationship with the same sex. Actually until now (30s na), i have not had any emotional relationship with a man. I dated officemates (girls) kasi nga i see myself marrying. But prior to dating girls, i had to accept that i have "other" attractions. There are emotional issues i had to deal with because it will not be easy. Women are a different specie and they have other emotional needs and you have to learn how to deal with them. Until you have dealt with your issue, i suggest refrain muna. Another thing is avoid website like this and other M2M activity. If you think you have dealt with that, then go.
  • JaysonMilkJaysonMilk PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    hoy kayung dalawang bata kayu...so *** pa kayu M2M act o kung anu man gusto nyo itawag dun at pakiulet "wholesome" tlaga ginamint..so kami na hindi mga wholesome...:bop:

    o heaven am i really that old preaching these kids...hahaha..eh kung mag meet na lang kayu dalawa baka maging magkaibigan pa kayo..lols
  • i am like that before, seriously. until nakita ko ang better half ko and i'm enjoying what i am having right now. pero i still want to get married and have kids, but not now.
  • Papa_PPapa_P PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    Ay taray nagpapakastraight!

    Anyway, do whatever you want to do just be real and do it without hurting anyone.
  • InMyCloset101InMyCloset101 PEx Rookie ⭐
    Hoy kayong dalawa, inuman na lang tayo at papayuhan ko kayo kung ano dapat nyong gawin.. hehehe
  • JaysonMilkJaysonMilk PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    shot na tara...hahaha
  • Yung parang yeah, you watch homosexual ***** and get aroused, vice versa for heterosexual ones, (so yes, gay) pero hindi mo pa rin nakikita sarili mo having a homosexual relationship, nakikita mo pa rin na you'll have a female partner in the future (but doesn't mind some bromances here and there without actually coming out). You don't see yourself as a woman trapped in a man's body, lalaki pa rin tingin mo sa sarili mo (well for me kasi it's either you're male or female, walang in between. Preference lang yun arousal thing). So parang forever in the closet, like it' just a hidden side of you, although I'm not saying na finafake mo yung pagiging hetero in actions kasi yun talaga yung goal mo. Para bang we'll see how it goes, basta magkaaasawa ako ng babae and magkakaanak kami, hopefully. Hind naman delusional, as in sa perspective mo lang talaga it's how it's supposed to be.
    experiencing exactly the same :)))
  • InMyCloset101InMyCloset101 PEx Rookie ⭐
    JaysonMilk wrote: »
    shot na tara...hahaha


    Tara Jayson shot na tayo at baka tayo naman ang maging magkaibigan hahahaha
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