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Closure?!..

Currently in a relationship- yes, happy, I could say ;)

...But always been hunted by my past..its been freakin' 10yrs since it happened, we are currently in our 30's now.. he was my college boyfie (imagine college life?! we really went thru a lot) after our college graduation he was offered a job abroad and accepted it, we stayed LDR for 2 yrs, it was all ok, I get to work as a call centre agent when he left and really enjoyed my job then,.

Next, I met someone who helped me work overseas too, i may have to leave our country but not the same as where he was. I broke up with him by the time I have to leave, I have my reasons why i did that and one is, we really just cant stand the long distance thing,..I know it won't work for us...I was young..He refused and even begged me not to leave..I was firm and decided.

Abroad,.I again enjoyed the new place, environment and people, loved my work too..he came to my senses again after a year when the news came from our common college friends that he was back home (phils) for his vacation..I humbly made my move..made calls to speak to him and tried my best to clear things up and start again..I was more than willing to work things out, he was responsive but i just realized later on that he was not that interested..30days of his vacation in manila, 30days i was on the phone with him, everyday...I was full of hope. We compromised that we'll try to work it out. I was the happiest.

He left Phils again...After 4mos of not hearing from him, after that 4 long months of waiting, heard not a single thing, you bet! Shortly, I found out he was in a relationship already and seemed happy. I was really devastated, im in a foreign land without my family and console of my true friends...I have no choice but to move on, I have done some stupid decisions during those painful times but my life does not end when he ended

2 years ago, he finally decided to stay in the Phils and work there..during this time, I heard from friends, him and the gf broke up... he tried to communicate not with me but with my sister to tell me to get in touch with him and his family when I get home for vacation/holiday, and that he was really sorry about what had happened to us (duh?! to my sister, seriously?!)...I went home few times, met our common friends but never saw him even once..wished our paths had crossed but never did..At one point, I knew that it is because of me too that our friends never invited him. For them, its been long overdue and being friends with him is something not necessary plus I always give them the impression that I am all ok and seeing him does not interests me..

I had relationships in between years... Well afterall, he might not be the one I have seriously prayed for so I went on with my life, at least i tried. All relationships I had after that nightmare lasted for minimum 2 yrs and was all ok, I felt I was really loved by those people I shared my short life with. Infairness to the one i am with currently, me being thankful is an understatement. A very selfless, caring human being.

The hunt of the past never ceases...he is still single, not sure if in a relationship but at least not married..we are not even fb friends, I only get to see his pictures and whereabouts thru our common friends, and it always, always melts my heart.

I know what I have to do, but i dont have the courage anymore...I am so indenial...I wanna keep the lil' pride for myself after every stupid thing I did for him, its been 10yrs, and it is really an old story for some..everyone has moved on, but not me..

A closure might be necessary....I don't know :(
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Comments

  • Break na nga kayo, anong closure pa ang hinihingi mo?

    --
    my_2_cents
  • renda08renda08 PEx Rookie ⭐
    my_2_cents wrote: »
    Break na nga kayo, anong closure pa ang hinihingi mo?

    --
    my_2_cents

    --walang proper na usap kasi, parang ewan,.hndi ako matahimik..
    guilty din ako dahil umalis ako with the help of someone special noon...
  • SEE, i don't think it's closure that you're after. i think you want to know if he still has feelings for you and maybe get back together.
  • I think for a guy wala na yang closure - closure na yan , don't hope for it , masasayang lang ang oras mo ... mag-closure ka na lang with your self , accept and totally move on .
  • F-A SoldierF-A Soldier PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    I think it's not complete without some break up sex.

    Break up to make up,

    The Heartbreaker
  • renda08renda08 PEx Rookie ⭐
    I guess reality check na nga lang yan, the truth is tama ka mayo_sleepeth, rekindle an old flame?!arrggg..tell me about it! ;( i am being unfair sa partner ko ngayon dahil may ganito pa kong baggages, nkakainis na talaga...

    Honestly, enaej426, I really would have wanted na close book na sana to, ilang relasyon na dinaanan ko...iba't-ibang heartaches na din un.. as I've told earlier, lahat ng tao sa paligid nmen super moved on na,..*** ako balik ng balik..

    last time I went home, 1 of our friends blankly asked by him kng magkikita-kita nga daw kami, and questions like *** single pa cia?! *** cia kamusta ng kamusta, *** tinutukso pa din cia sakin ng guy friends namen...yng pag-asa ko hanggang langit! :(
  • If you really want to know the score ... SWALLOW YOUR PRIDE and reach out to him.

    --
    my_2_cents
  • renda08 wrote: »
    I guess reality check na nga lang yan, the truth is tama ka mayo_sleepeth, rekindle an old flame?!arrggg..tell me about it! ;( i am being unfair sa partner ko ngayon dahil may ganito pa kong baggages, nkakainis na talaga...

    Honestly, enaej426, I really would have wanted na close book na sana to, ilang relasyon na dinaanan ko...iba't-ibang heartaches na din un.. as I've told earlier, lahat ng tao sa paligid nmen super moved on na,..*** ako balik ng balik..

    last time I went home, 1 of our friends blankly asked by him kng magkikita-kita nga daw kami, and questions like *** single pa cia?! *** cia kamusta ng kamusta, *** tinutukso pa din cia sakin ng guy friends namen...yng pag-asa ko hanggang langit! :(

    IF you want someone that bad, do not your foolish pride get in the way. get all the lingering questions answered before it's too late. pag yan kinasal, sige ka. reach out to him like, today.

    AS far as your bf, yes you're being unfair. and i suppose you know what to do next.
  • yeah...I agree...reach out to him...
    he is still single and you are not yet married right?

    just be ready with what will be the outcome...
  • renda08renda08 PEx Rookie ⭐
    Thank you all :) I surely need enough courage for the reaching out thing..

    ang awkward nito, after all... sa dami ng times ko na nasa pinas..ngayon *** ako co-contact?!

    arrggghhh! paano ko uumpisahan yan?..OMG!

    Thanks, thanks! keep the advices coming :p
  • F-A SoldierF-A Soldier PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    Parang hindi mo naman want to close; rather you want to restart.

    If you want to close you'd just forget,

    Hung Up aka Sayonara
  • renda08renda08 PEx Rookie ⭐
    Parang hindi mo naman want to close; rather you want to restart.

    If you want to close you'd just forget,

    Hung Up aka Sayonara

    ---Obvious na ba?!..hehe
    Well, make or break lang *****..
    nakakainis pa, depende sa kanya eh, kng sabihin nyang he has finally moved on, then baka yun pa mawala na talaga.. (sinabi na nya sakin dati, bahala na daw ako sa buhay ko at ok na cia nun.. that was the time na may gf cia)...

    But when he said sorry sa sis ko, and asked me to see him, bumaliktad lahat! 2yrs ago na yan!
  • F-A SoldierF-A Soldier PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    So what does your current boyfriend thinks about your closing statements?

    Always greener on the other side,

    Regrets
  • MabuheyMabuhey PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    parang kinikilig ako na hindi ko maintindihan ke ts :love::love::lol:
  • follow ur heart.......fight for what ur heart says...

    whatever happens you could say that u did ur part

    then finally you can move on with your life....
  • SagabaLSagabaL PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    si ate 17 na gusto pang humirit ..sigurado ka ba
  • You already have a boyfriend, and you said he's a nice guy.Don't make things complicated.

    - Maybe you will never forget your past but forgive yourself and him on what happen from the past.
    - If ever mag-karoon kayo ng communication ni ex baka maguluhan ka lang lalo and maka-affect pa sa relationship ninyo ni current boyfriend.
    -Think 1,000 times TS. Good Luck!
  • Wag makipagrealasyon kung hindi pa totally move on..
  • dimples23 wrote: »
    follow ur heart.......fight for what ur heart says...

    whatever happens you could say that u did ur part

    then finally you can move on with your life....


    I agree (pero mahirap mag reach out :()
    in my part kasi iniisip ko kung talagang interesado pa sya o gusto pa nya bakit hindi sya yung gumawa ng paraan ...
    pero mas madali kasi mag move on kung skanya mo mismo maririnig na ayaw na nya .. na tama na!
  • renda08 wrote: »
    ang awkward nito, after all... sa dami ng times ko na nasa pinas..ngayon *** ako co-contact?!

    arrggghhh! paano ko uumpisahan yan?..OMG!

    Thanks, thanks! keep the advices coming :p

    May FACEBOOK account ka? Siya mayroon? Puwes, doon mo simulan.

    --
    my_2_cents
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