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Complicated long distance relationship problem - need help

Hi everyone,

This is my first post.

I have a girlfriend, she lives in the Philippines.

9 months ago, I was offered a job overseas in the Middle East. The offer was good and my girlfriend supported me in deciding to leave for this job. Then for my last few days in the Philippines, we had a very good time. Then I left to work in Dubai.

2 months later, we found out that she was pregnant.

I asked the employer for a short vacation in August (her due month). The company said, "let's see in July, how will the status of the project will be in August".

July came. My girlfriend wants me to have a month vacation in August. So I asked the company if I can go for a month. The company told me, that I can only have 2 weeks maximum vacation.

Because of the urge to be with my baby and soon to be wife, I decided to resign my job in such a short notice. The problem is that my contract holds me for two months when I resign. They are not allowing me to leave until September (I will miss the delivery of our child). For this reason I decided to cancel my resignation provided they will allow me to have a vacation in August. The company understanding my situation allowed me to have the said vacation.

When we found out that I have to stay for 2 months more if I resigned, My girlfriend told me to buy my own ticket home and just leave the company without proper turn-over of the project that was assigned and entrusted to me. I did not liked this idea because if i do it, the company will no longer trust any filipinos including my filipino colleagues and it is unprofessional to do.

Now that I have chosen to cancel my resignation, we agreed on a date in August for my vacation of 2 weeks. It was good for her at first. Then suddenly we had a problem in our project which caused a week of delay for my vacation(I can still catch the due date). My girlfriend was soooooo upset about it that she was forcing me to leave immediately. She wants me to buy my ticket and just leave. I told her I cant just leave for some reasons.

Then she was sooo mad at me she deleted me from facebook, deleted me from all social networking sites that we used to communicate. And she said, I chose my job over my family. And she doesnt want me to see our baby during my vacation. Im soo depressed from this event as I did everything I could to make the vacation possible.

I need some suggestions on how to win her back and to have my family. We were planning on getting married during my vacation.
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Comments

  • kleenexlambotkleenexlambot PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    TS, just wait till your vacation in the Philippines. I think she's just being difficult, and the more you accommodate her the more that she will give you a hard time.

    Resigning from work just because you wanted to see your baby is an irresponsible move. Gosh, what have you been thinking?!

    For the meantime, do something sweet like send flowers, etc. Dont pay too much attention on her drama.
  • JobyBryant24JobyBryant24 PEx Rookie ⭐
    TS, just wait till your vacation in the Philippines. I think she's just being difficult, and the more you accommodate her the more that she will give you a hard time.

    Resigning from work just because you wanted to see your baby is an irresponsible move. Gosh, what have you been thinking?!

    For the meantime, do something sweet like send flowers, etc. Dont pay too much attention on her drama.
    DAFUQ?!?!? Do you mean that the TS should choose WORK OVER FAMILY?!? Are you even sane? Or BAOG ka so bitter ka sa mga me FAMILY? :rotflmao:

    Sabagay madami naman dyan pwedeng maging pamilya. Nag-iisa lang naman yang work sa mundo eh.

    Ayus! *okay*
  • You have to consider that pregnant women have mood swings due to hormone imbalance. You can't take every word and every command like it's written in stone.

    In my opinion, being a good father doesn't mean you have to be there when the baby comes out. It's about being there AFTER the baby is born. To provide, nurture, and love the baby.

    What I'm trying to say is, don't make it a big deal by sacrificing your future just to witness the birth of your baby. You have to worry about the future. After the baby is born, what's next? Having no job is another problem you'll have. Raising a child is very expensive. Raising a child WHILE looking for a job to support your wife and child will add to your problem.
  • djaynitordjaynitor PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    Naku, hindi pa kayo mag-asawa nagmamando na ... at mukhang asal baliw pa ... malabo iyan ... huwag mo na pakasalan, suportahan mo na lang ang anak mo.

    --sent from my HTC Cha Cha
  • kleenexlambotkleenexlambot PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    DAFUQ?!?!? Do you mean that the TS should choose WORK OVER FAMILY?!? Are you even sane? Or BAOG ka so bitter ka sa mga me FAMILY? :rotflmao:

    Sabagay madami naman dyan pwedeng maging pamilya. Nag-iisa lang naman yang work sa mundo eh.

    Ayus! *okay*

    May sinabi ba akong mamili si TS? Kung ikaw ba mag re resign para lang ma witness ang birth nung baby? Well, siguro kung haciendero ka puede :)
  • Hi everyone,

    Thanks for all your advice and support.

    I got my ticket home. Ill be flying to the Philippines soon. The problem is, she still wont talk to me.

    She even messaged a a coworker of mine to cancel my vacation.

    But I would still have my vacation and try to fight for our family.
  • kleenexlambotkleenexlambot PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    djaynitor wrote: »
    Naku, hindi pa kayo mag-asawa nagmamando na ... at mukhang asal baliw pa ... malabo iyan ... huwag mo na pakasalan, suportahan mo na lang ang anak mo.

    --sent from my HTC Cha Cha

    agree. kung matino ang utak nyan, hindi nya i ha harass si TS na magbitiw sa trabaho. at nag text pa sa officemate na huwag na ituloy ang vacation. baliw nga!
  • You did not mention about her family. I was wondering if you could reach out to her parents or siblings so they could make your girlfriend let you sort things out between you and her. It's obvious that you love her. When you get here, make all the effort to see and talk to her even if she terribly insists that she does not want to.
  • F-A SoldierF-A Soldier PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    She's a stupid b!tch. You're doing all you can to have a better life and future, not only for her, but for your future child. It's not always about pasarap. :glee: Sometimes we have to sacrifice in life.

    Don't contact her and you'll see she's gonna come crying back. Drama = women.
  • She's a stupid b!tch. You're doing all you can to have a better life and future, not only for her, but for your future child. It's not always about pasarap. :glee: Sometimes we have to sacrifice in life.

    Don't contact her and you'll see she's gonna come crying back. Drama = women.

    She sounds like a spoiled brat. Very irrational. She wants him to drop everything and go home ASAP, forget the future and don't think of the consequences, just to witness the birth of their child. Does she think about what happens AFTER the child is born? Both of them will be unemployed. Where will the money come from? He's the one being responsible by holding on to his job so he'll be able to SUPPORT BOTH OF THEM like a real responsible father.

    If this is how she really is in real life, then that's a big red flag. If he does quit his job for her, that makes the TS under de saya. A real man would stood his ground. Of all the irresponsible unemployed male losers in the Philippines, the TS is actually mature enough to think of the future.

    I'm 100% sure, this b*tch will use the baby as leverage to get what she wants. It's her personality type.
  • ja_limiii wrote: »
    I got my ticket home. Ill be flying to the Philippines soon. The problem is, she still wont talk to me. She even messaged a a coworker of mine to cancel my vacation.

    What a vindictive person. Do you see what's going on here? This isn't about the baby anymore. This is about getting her way.
  • kleenexlambotkleenexlambot PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    wondering, where TS met this lady. Is P. Burgos your final answer????
  • NilsNils PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    She's a stupid b!tch. You're doing all you can to have a better life and future, not only for her, but for your future child. It's not always about pasarap. :glee: Sometimes we have to sacrifice in life.

    Don't contact her and you'll see she's gonna come crying back. Drama = women.

    +1000000
    wag padala sa mga drama ng babae brad... susme, hindi ka pa nga sigurado kung sa iyo yan... baka ipinasasalo lang sa iyo yung bata...
  • JobyBryant24JobyBryant24 PEx Rookie ⭐

    May sinabi ba akong mamili si TS? Kung ikaw ba mag re resign para lang ma witness ang birth nung baby? Well, siguro kung haciendero ka puede :)
    Kung wala na ibang choice eh. Baog ka nga. Ganun siguro ka-limited skills mo kaya aasa ka na lang dun sa isang kumpanya na yun eh. Hahaha

    Di porke hindi haciendero eh hindi na pwede mag-resign. Gokbu ampotek. Uunahin pa yung work na madami pa naman kesa yung ilalabas na anak.

    Anu ka "LIVE TO WORK"?!?!? :rotflmao:
  • SagabaLSagabaL PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    the gf is immature, selfish and dumb. ts is just the opposite. ts pag umuwi ka sa palagay ko pababalikin ka ng gf mo sa dubai kapag kinakapos na kayo sa pera . the question is will you get a second opportunity to find a job there or in the phil? if not then kawawa ka sa babaeng ito. she's the type na hindi aamin na nagkamali siya sa pag advice sa iyo na umuwi to be with her during labor but you lose your job. and she'll make it appear that what you did was the right thing to do BUT then she'll pressure you to find a job ASAP.
  • faxtonefaxtone PEx Rookie ⭐
    TS
    relax lang muna ha,,go mo yan bakasyon mo tapos pagpasensyahan mo muna yan si Gf kasi nasa panahon kailangan nya ng pang unawa mo.unawain mo siya hanggang makapanganak pero pag aralan mo kung ganun ba talaga ang ugali nya kasi parang Bipolar yan .di na lang kayong dalawa ang involve kundi may baby rin. kung laging ganyan ang pag iisip ng gf mo,mag isip isp ka bago pa lumala at abusuhin ka ng babaeng yan.

    ilang taon na ba si GF baka teenager pa kaya ganyan ang disposisyon?
  • kleenexlambotkleenexlambot PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    Kung wala na ibang choice eh. Baog ka nga. Ganun siguro ka-limited skills mo kaya aasa ka na lang dun sa isang kumpanya na yun eh. Hahaha

    Di porke hindi haciendero eh hindi na pwede mag-resign. Gokbu ampotek. Uunahin pa yung work na madami pa naman kesa yung ilalabas na anak.

    Anu ka "LIVE TO WORK"?!?!? :rotflmao:

    Joby, gawa ka ng thread mo.

    Eto magandang title na bagay sa yo " Wala Akong Alam sa Buhay"
  • sure kaya si TS na kanya nga ang baby na yun? :hmm:
  • kleenexlambotkleenexlambot PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    .......................................................
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