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My BF and I got caught! (Please Help! :( )

I’ve been reading here in pex since last year and I never knew that it would come to a point that I’d be making a thread asking for help/advice. Ayoko sana but I can’t take it anymore. Kailangan ko lang talaga ng advice regarding the situation that I’m in. :(

Here we go.. , There’s this guy renting in our house. We share the same interests etc. We get along well. Dahil sa interest naming sa business, we decided to have one and work together. Along the way, we fell in-love. Naging kami pero we made it clear to each other na WORK muna ang priority kasi kung magawa namin nang tama, everything follows and hindi kami mahihirapan in the future.

Here’s the thing, nobody knows about our relationship especially my family because once they’d know about it, we’re both dead. Hindi kasi kami pareho ng religion (I prefer not to tell). Masyadong strict ang family ko pagdating sa religion. Para ngang it’s ok for them if I marry an irresponsible guy as long as he has the same religion as ours. Kaya me and my BF decided to focus on our work and not to our relationship for now para maayos ang lahat.

Ang problem ko ngayon is.. Our cousin is staying right now in our house. He will leave in 2 weeks. Our cousin has this reputation for making a best of friends turn against each other. Unfortunately, me and my bf got caught by my cousin. Well, wala naman talaga kaming ginawang masama that time. We weren’t even intimate. My room kasi is wide open and I was watching a trailer tapos my bf saw it and was curious kaya he went inside my room. I was in the bed with my laptop facing me tapos he sat beside me. He hold my hand pero hindi naman kami naglalampungan.. parang it was just normal tapos I saw my cousin peeping at the door. Kinabahan ako but I played it cool and slowly inalis ang kamay ko. Nung umalis na, saka ko sinabi sa bf ko.
It happened yesterday actually. And unsurprisingly, tumawag ang mom ko sa akin at galit. God knows kung ano pa sinabi ng cousin ko sa kanya. She said na she will send me back to our province and kick my bf out of the house. Now I don’t know what to do! Ang plan sana namin ng bf ko e gawin yung gaslighting against sa cousin ko pero kind of impossible for us kasi family ko mahilig maniwala sa ibang tao bago sa saraling kapamilya. I really don’t know what to do right now! My BF is a good man. In fact, parang siya lang ang nag aalaga sa akin ngayon. Ang family ko, nakikita lang ako pag may issue. My mom doesn’t provide anything for me right now. Shelter lang. That’s it. Me and my bf even pay for the house bills. (My brother and sister is living in the same roof with us btw and my mom is in province with my other siblings). Not that may galit ako sa family ko.. Alam kong may karapatan naman sila PERO they can ruin my future if they decide to keep us apart. Ngayon pa na nagkaka-resulta na yung mga pinaghirapan naming ng bf ko? But I can’t tell them the truth kasi kung sasabihin ko, we are really dead… Paghihiwalayin talaga kami even if they can ruin my life.

My BF is my first BF. He’s been always there for me. I can say without a doubt na HE IS THE ONE! I can see myself spending the rest of my life with him. I’m 22 he is 28. Nasa legal age na kami and we provide for ourselves. As I said, my BF is a good man. Never siyang nag isip na buntisin ako or whatever.. He’s not the “susungkitin ko ang bituin sa langit para sa’yo” type of guy. He means what he say and say what he means, one of the reasons why I like him. He’s very much focus in our work. He wants to be successful hindi lang para sa sarili niya kundi para sa amin. I learned a lot of things from him. Things that I never learned growing up. He makes things easier for me. I can never forget his text message that said “I’m preparing to spend eternity with you. Have faith in me.” And I hold on to that until now. (We’ve been together for almost two years btw) Ngayon dahil lang sa cousin kong life ruin-er eh guguho na lahat for my bf and I. I’m thinking of going away with him pero that would make everything worse. Ayaw ng bf ko na dumating sa ganung situation. para sa kanya, kung kaya pang agapan, wag muna kaming magiisip ng ganun. Gusto ko sanang sabihin sa mom ko na “Do nothing and just let everything be then nothing bad will happen and no one will get hurt” but I doubt kung kakagatin niya. But honestly, if they’ll just drop this, wala namang mangyayaring masama dahil success lang ang iniisip namin ng bf ko now. Kaso ang importante kasi sa family ko e yung religion kaya hindi nila pwedeng malaman na kami nga. I’m still denying our relationship to my mom pa rin and I don’t know if she believes in our cousin entirely. (I’m sorry napahaba ang kwento!)


Ang hirap talaga ng situation ko! :( I can't sleep! :mecry: Please guys help! No harsh comments please! I really don’t know what to do!
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Comments

  • what is the most important thing for you? your bf? your family? your religion? base your decision there.
  • what is the most important thing for you? your bf? your family? your religion? base your decision there.

    Hi! Thank you for the reply! The most important thing for me now, honestly, is my BF. He's more than a BF to me. Parang siya lang nga ang pamilya ko. My family couldn't care less about what I do as long as it wouldn't bring shame to our family :( Nakaka-sad lang pero wala akong galit sa kanila kasi may mali rin akong nagawa.. I didn't finish college. And for them, kahihiyan talaga yun kaya ang mom ko never nang nagbigay ni isang sentimo sa akin since 2009 ? (I can't even remember). Pero may trabaho naman ako ngayon and my bf and I are planning making it big in business. Yun nga lang di nila matanggap na hindi nasunod ang gusto nila. But I'm not mad at them. They're still my family. But I can't live without my BF :mecry: For me, once lang dumating ang lalaking katulad niya. What will I do? :( Ayaw din niyang i-risk ang image at relationship ko with my family kaya ang tanan is a no-no. Pero ayaw naming magkahiwalay :(
  • kleenexlambotkleenexlambot PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    TS, ayon sa story mo, your bf's religion is the main problem.

    Ang view ko sa ganyan, each person has the freedom to chose the person he/she would be happy to spend life with, including religion. Mahal ka siyempre ng magulang mo therefore maiintindihan nila yan, pwedeng hindi ngayon, pero dadating ang panahon.

    Btw, parang blessing in disguise na nabuking kayo, at least ngayon hindi mo na tinatago ang bf mo. Youre now facing the issue which you will eventually have to confront in the future anyway. Kumbaga, test ito sa inyo ng bf mo kung kaya mo siya ipaglaban, at ganun din siya sa iyo.

    You dont need to choose between your family and bf. Of course you can keep them both. Patunayan mo lang sa pamilya mo na tama ang lalaking pinili mo i.e., responsible, faithful, etc etc etc.,
  • F-A SoldierF-A Soldier PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    Take your balls out and come clean. If you two don't want to break up and you're planning for the long haul, you're gonna have to tell them sooner or later.

    The question is whether you want to do hard part now or later. Pasungkitin mo na yong langit ngayon. :glee:
  • SagabaLSagabaL PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    Ask your bf to convert to your religion. Problem solved.
  • TS, ayon sa story mo, your bf's religion is the main problem.

    Ang view ko sa ganyan, each person has the freedom to chose the person he/she would be happy to spend life with, including religion. Mahal ka siyempre ng magulang mo therefore maiintindihan nila yan, pwedeng hindi ngayon, pero dadating ang panahon.

    Btw, parang blessing in disguise na nabuking kayo, at least ngayon hindi mo na tinatago ang bf mo. Youre now facing the issue which you will eventually have to confront in the future anyway. Kumbaga, test ito sa inyo ng bf mo kung kaya mo siya ipaglaban, at ganun din siya sa iyo.

    You dont need to choose between your family and bf. Of course you can keep them both. Patunayan mo lang sa pamilya mo na tama ang lalaking pinili mo i.e., responsible, faithful, etc etc etc.,

    Hi! Thank you for your reply! Ang take kasi namin dyan, we have to be successful with our respective lives first before coming clean para madali nilang ma-accept. Impossible pa ngayon na sabihin namin ang totoo kasi mas malaki pa yung control nila sa amin.

    Hindi namin alam kung ano pwedeng kahinatnan namin if we confess. We just want to be careful. Ayoko rin ng maraming drama. Yung mag lalayas and all.. Napak-complicated at baka masira lahat ng plano namin. I'm thinking na mag dala na lang ng big, good news galing sa work para manghinayang na pabalikin ako sa province at masira ang dreams ko... Haaayyy... I really don't know... Hindi pa ako natutulog kakaisip :(
  • Take your balls out and come clean. If you two don't want to break up and you're planning for the long haul, you're gonna have to tell them sooner or later.

    The question is whether you want to do hard part now or later. Pasungkitin mo na yong langit ngayon. :glee:


    HAHA. Sorry naman.. Antok na kasi ako pero di ako makatulog kakaisip :confused: :mecry:

    But I cannot come clean for now.. Masyadong risky :( Thanks for the advice though
    SagabaL wrote: »
    Ask your bf to convert to your religion. Problem solved.

    HE WILL. Actually. No ifs, buts, maybes or doubts etc... Mag papa-convert daw talaga siya for me. But I don't think my family will keep an open mind about it.

    Ang father ko masyadong strict sa pagpili ng lalaki na mapapangasawa namin. Nung time ng ate ko, ayaw na ayaw niya sa bf ng ate ko even if pareho ng religion. Talagang grounded ang ate ko kapag makita silang magkasama. Religious talaga ang gusto niya for us. But he died when I was young. Pero siya pa rin nasusunod pagdating dun. Parang hindi na mababago :(

    Thank you SagabaL
  • kleenexlambotkleenexlambot PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    TS, may solution ka naman pala. So, kung gusto nyo itago muna eh di yun ang gawin ninyo. Hindi mo naman ma so solve overnight iyan. Ano pa ba pinoproblema mo...

    May question lang ako....question lang naman. Sa tingin mo ba ikaw talaga ang gusto ng bf mo at hindi ang negosyo nyo? Tanong lang yan ha.
  • kleenexlambotkleenexlambot PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    HE WILL. Actually. No ifs, buts, maybes or doubts etc... Mag papa-convert daw talaga siya for me. But I don't think my family will keep an open mind about it.

    TS, kaya nga tinanong ng isang poster kung ano priority mo. Sabi mo bf mo. So bakit ang daming if's? Sa ganitong situation meron talagang tatamaan pero maayos din naman ang lahat pagdating ng araw. Step out of your comfort zone minsan. May kasabihan di ba: Make your choice and do good with it...
  • Hi! Thank you for the reply! The most important thing for me now, honestly, is my BF. He's more than a BF to me. Parang siya lang nga ang pamilya ko. My family couldn't care less about what I do as long as it wouldn't bring shame to our family :( Nakaka-sad lang pero wala akong galit sa kanila kasi may mali rin akong nagawa.. I didn't finish college. And for them, kahihiyan talaga yun kaya ang mom ko never nang nagbigay ni isang sentimo sa akin since 2009 ? (I can't even remember). Pero may trabaho naman ako ngayon and my bf and I are planning making it big in business. Yun nga lang di nila matanggap na hindi nasunod ang gusto nila. But I'm not mad at them. They're still my family. But I can't live without my BF :mecry: For me, once lang dumating ang lalaking katulad niya. What will I do? :( Ayaw din niyang i-risk ang image at relationship ko with my family kaya ang tanan is a no-no. Pero ayaw naming magkahiwalay :(

    pero ts, parang kasi mas mahalaga sa iyo sasabihin ng pamilya mo over what you want. ano ang risk kung umamin ka sa pamilya mo? you said shelter ang binibigay sa iyo ng pamilya mo. bakit hindi ka magsarili na ng tuluyan ng wala ng hawak sa iyo ang pamilya mo. meron talagang mga magulang na ganyan. pero hindi mo naman ikamamatay kung susundin mo yung gusto mo, kung alam mo naman na tama. ang mahalaga lang ay panindigan mo ang decision mo. but based on your reply, mukhang hindi ka pa handa. it is better to come clean now, sabi nga ng ibang pexer. kung talagang controlling ang pamilya mo, kahit may good news ka pa i-share sa kanila, they will find a reason to dislike or disagree with your decisions in life. ako nga din parents ko dati masyadong controlling. biruin mo late 20s na ako, ayaw pa ako pag-asawahin :lol: but i stuck to my decisions. sabi ko, buhay ko ito at kung mali man ang naging desisyon ko, sarili ko lang ang sisisihin ko. at least i know i am happy even if i don't succeed.
  • jazzmine22jazzmine22 PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    Madami ka pang pwedeng maging BF, eh ang pamilya, iisa lang yan.

    Kaya ako talaga, sineseryoso ko lang ang mga ex BFs ko noon, kung ayos ang pakikitungo niya sa parents ko.

    Dapat ang isang BF, maayos ang trato sa magulang mo, bakit? Makikita mo doon ang character niya bilang isang anak sa mga magulang niya, at masisilip mo din kung ang BF mong yan eh magiging isang mabuting haligi ng tahanan in case na magkatuluyan kayo.

    Sabi mo, "he's a good man".. paano naging good man yan, eh sa bahay ninyo nakiki renta, tapos palihim na naging kayo? Hindi man lang nagbigay ng respeto sa mga magulang mo? Aba TS, parang ahas kasi ang dating ng BF mo, pinagkatiwalaan na tumira diyan sa bahay ng magulang mo, tapos aahasin lang yung anak nila sa likod nila, sa tingin mo tama yan?

    Sige, sabihin na nating naging kayo, oh, hindi man lang ba nag kusa ang BF mong yan na harapin na ang magulang mo, at sabihin ang totoo? Bakit kailangan mahuli pa kayo ng pinsan mo? Bakit ka natatakot, kung good man naman talaga yan?

    Kasi magkaiba relihiyon ninyo? Aba eh kung ako magulang mo, makikita ko muna na inahas ka ng lalaking yan sa likod ko, bago ko makita na iba ang relihiyon niya.

    Bastos at walang modo ang ganyang lalaki.

    Tapos, mas mahalaga pa kamo sayo ang lalaking yan kesa sa pamilya mo? Really? Sige, suwagin mo ang pamilya mo, at magdasal ka na maging mabuti ang kinabukasan mo sa lalaking yan, at ipag pray mo na hinding hindi ka tatakbo pabalik sa mga magulang mo, at yung mga magiging mga anak ninyo, huwag din gawin sayo ang gagawin mo sa magulang mo.

    Sa isang pamilya, walang nareresolba ng hindi pag uusap ng masinsinan. Kapakanan mo ang iniiisip ng pamilya mo, they just want the best for you, ngayon, kung talagang may kabutihan ang lalaking yan na baliw na baliw ka, dapat sa lalaking yan manggaling ang patunay na isang mabuti siyang lalaki, hindi sayo.
  • jazzmine22jazzmine22 PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    Pahabol pala, lalo na yan nanay mo umaayaw sa lalaking yan at patay na pala ang tatay mo, hay naku, may woman instinct kasi siyang nararamdaman, may nararamdaman siyang hindi maganda sa lalaking yan.


    Kung tatay kasi, medyo talagang overprotective yan, mahirap talagang i please ang tatay, pero ang nanay, para hindi mo ma please, something is wrong with you.
  • kimrod16kimrod16 PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    ^ jazz, di niya maiintindihan yan ngayon, in love siya eh. kapag nagbreak na sila chaka niya lang marerealize yan.
  • jazzmine22jazzmine22 PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    sabagay tama ka diyan Kimrod, hibang na hibang nga si TS, at mas mahalaga daw ang BF niya sa pamilya. Hibangers ang bruhilda.

    Lech. Hoy TS, umayos ka ha, baka mamatay ang nanay mo sa sama ng loob sayo, iiyak iyak ka diyan sa huli.
  • kimrod16kimrod16 PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    one thing TS that i can tell you is that the way youse guys relationship started---- its doomed to fail.

    oh well, pag iniwan ka niya nanjan naman lagi ang family mo. they'll never leave you :)
  • If I were your mom, I will be deeply hurt talaga na I'm providing shelter for you tapos technically ka live-in mo ang bf mo na hindi ko alam sa bahay na I'm providing. Kahit boarder pa yan.

    A decent solution is for your bf to move out. Convert to your religion. And you both can act like a normal bf-gf. You can still continue your relationship even if you live apart. Have respect dun sa bahay na provided by your mom; huwag mong bastusin.

    If you want to live together, then both of you should move out. You can partially provide for your siblings if you want. If you don't want drama, then do the suggestion above. Your love will be tested, which is actually a good thing if you feel this guy is the one. Pag tumakbo or nagloko with the live apart set-up, then that shows his true ugali.

    Good luck. Nasa 10 commandments ang obey your parents (though i would say respect your parents is more apt). Ang ipaglaban ang bf, wala.
  • Vit@min_C[email protected]_C PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    TS,22 kapa lang naman at hindi ko naman nararamdaman yang ‘pagmamahalang’ sinasabi mo. Pero kung ako yan,mas pipiliin ko muna ang magiging desisyon ng aking magulang.
    Go tell them everything,sa akin kasi,walang magulang na nagisip para sa ikakasama ng mga pasibol nila(kung meron man,shiet sila :glee: ).Pero mahirap talagang intindihin yan,kasi simula palang tinago mo na.Si bruno naka virgin sa’yo?musta naman history niya?baka naman nadadala ka lang sa mga pa tweetams niyan kasi beterano na?
    Wag na wag kang lalayo para lang magsama kayo ni Bruno,basta laging nasa ‘right reasonable side’ palagi.
    --
    Ang swerte naman ni bruno,daig pa ata may ka live-in ng dalawang taon. :lol:
  • balbolskibalbolski PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    first bf pala eh.. may second third and so on pa.
  • Impossible pa ngayon na sabihin namin ang totoo kasi mas malaki pa yung control nila sa amin.

    Impossible? Hindi po ito imposible, takot ka lang. Ayaw mo mag-risk.
    Hindi namin alam kung ano pwedeng kahinatnan namin if we confess. We just want to be careful. Ayoko rin ng maraming drama. Yung mag lalayas and all.. Napak-complicated at baka masira lahat ng plano namin. I'm thinking na mag dala na lang ng big, good news galing sa work para manghinayang na pabalikin ako sa province at masira ang dreams ko... Haaayyy... I really don't know... Hindi pa ako natutulog kakaisip :(

    You're playing safe, hindi maso-solve ang problema mo kapag hinayaan mo lang.. Alam ko minsan masarap na lang magpaka-comatose at umasang paggisng mo, okay na ang lahat.

    Pero hindi pwede yun eh, kailangan mo harapin talaga.

    HE WILL. Actually. No ifs, buts, maybes or doubts etc... Mag papa-convert daw talaga siya for me. But I don't think my family will keep an open mind about it.

    Tanong ko lang ha, nasubukan mo na ba sabihin sa family mo ito? Pag sinabi mo, maaring mapagalitan ka nga OR maaring matanggap nila (kung ma-realize nila na sincere ang bf mo)

    Pano mo malalaman, kung di mo susubukan?
    Hindi kasi kami pareho ng religion (I prefer not to tell). Masyadong strict ang family ko pagdating sa religion. Para ngang it’s ok for them if I marry an irresponsible guy as long as he has the same religion as ours. Kaya me and my BF decided to focus on our work and not to our relationship for now para maayos ang lahat.

    Ang father ko masyadong strict sa pagpili ng lalaki na mapapangasawa namin. Nung time ng ate ko, ayaw na ayaw niya sa bf ng ate ko even if pareho ng religion. Talagang grounded ang ate ko kapag makita silang magkasama. Religious talaga ang gusto niya for us.

    Na-confuse ako, sabi mo kasi nung una, kahit sino basta same religion. Pero sa ate mo, same ang religion pero tutol ang father mo? Sobrang contradicting.

    Anyways, ayun, hindi mo malalaman at wala ka maso-solve kung hindi ka magri-risk. Naiintindihan ko na ayaw mo ng gulo, ayaw mo masaktan (sino ba naman kasing may gusto nun). Pero kung gusto mo maayos yan, kailangan mo at ng bf mo magpakatatag at harapin ang family mo.

    Hindi rin kayo liligaya ng mainam kung ganyan ang situation nyo.

    Baka ang pangarap nyong happy ever after eh mas lalong maging disaster. (wag naman sana)

    Kaya mo yan!!!
  • purpleheadd07purpleheadd07 PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    hintayin mo munang maging successful kayo bago lumantad? naku kelan pa iyan, 3 to 5 even 10 years? :eek: :hiya:
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