men arent stupid and nine other free lessons that will change your life
that's the title of this free book i saw on the internet
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/208732
"Men Arent Stupid
In this culture we tend to swing from one extreme to another. For generations men
were seen as wise and all knowing. Now, we seem amazed that they manage to dress
themselves and talk in complete sentences. While this paradigm shift is insulting to men
it has had a devastating effect on women as well. Especially when it comes to
relationships. This idea that men are clueless allows them to get away with all manner of
bad behavior that would have been intolerable just a generation or two ago.
I get this in my inbox all the time so Ill just lay it out there: Men know that most
women want marriage. Women need to know that many men will do everything in their
power to get all the benefits of marriage, except without those all important things like
commitment. While youre getting exasperated thinking hes stupid, hes running mad
game on you. Men understand us on a level that we can never begin to grasp, because its
from the mindset of a hunter. And a good hunter has an intrinsic understanding of his
prey. We make the mistake of thinking that they think like us. Because of their predatory
nature they know that not only do they not think like us, they know exactly how we think.
They understand a crucial component of the female psyche: For most women hope
springs eternal, so if he plays his cards right, he can string you along for years giving up
all the goodies in an effort to convince him that youre good enough to marry.
Most of us know at least one woman who waited for a man to marry her, sometimes
for a decade or more. She played house with him, took care of him, cooked, cleaned, etc.
but he never married her. Finally she ends the relationship and he marries the next
woman he dates after only six months. I think we all know a woman like this because it
reinforces something we already know: Men marry the women they want to marry. And
if youre not that woman nothing you can do will change that. Its absolutely foolish to
play wife for a man who cant be bothered to actually marry you.
Bottom line is; if youve reached the point in your relationship where its time for
The Talk and it hasnt happened, or he brushes it off when you raise the subject, move
on. Why? Because men who want to get married, get married. Its not that hes not intomarriage, or hes still dealing with issues from a previous relationship, or whatever
other folderol he puts out there. Theres only one reason a man doesnt get married:
HE DOESNT WANT TO. At least, NOT TO YOU.
Dont fool yourself that you can change his mind by being an excellent wifey and
by giving him all the benefits of marriage, except without the marriage. It wont work,
and why would you want it to? A man who wants you will be rushing YOU to the altar.
Why? Because hes terrified that youll get away from him. A man in love is all too
aware that he has a pearl beyond price. Further he knows there is a plethora of other
predatory males just waiting to snatch her away. You dont have to beg him or persuade
him or coerce him, and for the love of all things butter cream-frosted you certainly dont
have to trick him. The only thing youll get for all your trouble is a decimated self-esteem
and the knowledge that you wasted your skinny years on a man who didnt want you in
the first place.
Again, theyre not stupid. They understand perfectly what it is youre trying to do.
And I can assure you: The only person that will get played here is you. Think about it,
would you work for your employer and let him decide at some later date whether or not
hell commit to hiring and paying you? Of course not. The notion is so absurd youre
probably chuckling to yourself as you read this. Like any savvy professional you sit down
and work out the parameters of your work relationship well beforehand. Surely you
would want to be even more levelheaded about something so crucial as your life partner?
Remember, some day you might actually exchange DNA with this guy. Hell be
swimming around in your gene pool and in your life FOREVER. Do you really want
someone who is focused only on what he wants? Someone who wants to get the goodies
without paying for them? Consider the implications of spending a lifetime with such a
person. You would tire of their immature selfishness very quickly. You want a guy who
sees you as the fantastical creature that you are. Who cant believe that he landed
someone like you, and cant wait to announce it to the world. So, dont humiliate and
disgrace yourself by trying to convince someone that you make the cut. Theres
absolutely nothing more demeaning and you deserve better than that. Leave him so fast
hell have windburn.
Stop falling for the okey-doke. You have to be clear and upfront about your wantsand needs. And this brings up another issue. Women frequently tell me that theyre afraid
to tell a man what they want. They dont want to be demanding for fear that the man will
leave them. Any hesitancy you feel about sharing your needs with a man, should be a
clear signal that perhaps he isnt the one for you. The right man will want to be there to
fulfill your needs, and some of your wants as well. If his response is to walk away, or
worse, degrade or belittle your needs, dont hesitate to say, Next! One guy I dated taunted
me when I shared my desire for a husband and family. He told me that nobodys doing
that white picket fence stuff anymore. Well guess what, Ive got a fabulous family and
hes the old dude in the club. Isnt that sad? (No, Im not being facetious here, I really
do feel badly for him. He really missed out.) Im thankful that I had the self-esteem to
move on, but I wonder how many women have been frightened into thinking that their
very natural desire for a home and security is somehow too much? How many women
give in and play house out of fear of being left alone? This is a major mistake. Men love a
woman who is well loved; and a key indicator of how well a woman loves herself is her
ability to ensure that her needs are met. Its a basic human instinct and any man worth
having will not have a problem with a woman who takes care of herself. Never make a
mans needs a priority over yours. If marriage is important to you, theres no shame in
that. You should love nobody more than you love you. Hell respect you for it, and more
importantly, you will too.
Now I know youre wondering: So how do you get a man to marry you? See, thats
whats so fabulous, you dont. If you vet a man properly from the outset, that is, carefully
choosing honorable, marriage-minded men, theres no scheming or manipulation
involved. As always, this is not informed by what a man says, but by what he does.
Marriage minded men act like marriage minded men. They dont rush into sex because
theyre mature enough to realize that they need to get to know a woman first. They are
upfront and direct about where theyre coming from. Theyre looking for a woman who
wants to be cherished and have the same basic values and beliefs that they have. The
simple answer is; if you want to get married, look for men who want to get married."
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/208732
"Men Arent Stupid
In this culture we tend to swing from one extreme to another. For generations men
were seen as wise and all knowing. Now, we seem amazed that they manage to dress
themselves and talk in complete sentences. While this paradigm shift is insulting to men
it has had a devastating effect on women as well. Especially when it comes to
relationships. This idea that men are clueless allows them to get away with all manner of
bad behavior that would have been intolerable just a generation or two ago.
I get this in my inbox all the time so Ill just lay it out there: Men know that most
women want marriage. Women need to know that many men will do everything in their
power to get all the benefits of marriage, except without those all important things like
commitment. While youre getting exasperated thinking hes stupid, hes running mad
game on you. Men understand us on a level that we can never begin to grasp, because its
from the mindset of a hunter. And a good hunter has an intrinsic understanding of his
prey. We make the mistake of thinking that they think like us. Because of their predatory
nature they know that not only do they not think like us, they know exactly how we think.
They understand a crucial component of the female psyche: For most women hope
springs eternal, so if he plays his cards right, he can string you along for years giving up
all the goodies in an effort to convince him that youre good enough to marry.
Most of us know at least one woman who waited for a man to marry her, sometimes
for a decade or more. She played house with him, took care of him, cooked, cleaned, etc.
but he never married her. Finally she ends the relationship and he marries the next
woman he dates after only six months. I think we all know a woman like this because it
reinforces something we already know: Men marry the women they want to marry. And
if youre not that woman nothing you can do will change that. Its absolutely foolish to
play wife for a man who cant be bothered to actually marry you.
Bottom line is; if youve reached the point in your relationship where its time for
The Talk and it hasnt happened, or he brushes it off when you raise the subject, move
on. Why? Because men who want to get married, get married. Its not that hes not intomarriage, or hes still dealing with issues from a previous relationship, or whatever
other folderol he puts out there. Theres only one reason a man doesnt get married:
HE DOESNT WANT TO. At least, NOT TO YOU.
Dont fool yourself that you can change his mind by being an excellent wifey and
by giving him all the benefits of marriage, except without the marriage. It wont work,
and why would you want it to? A man who wants you will be rushing YOU to the altar.
Why? Because hes terrified that youll get away from him. A man in love is all too
aware that he has a pearl beyond price. Further he knows there is a plethora of other
predatory males just waiting to snatch her away. You dont have to beg him or persuade
him or coerce him, and for the love of all things butter cream-frosted you certainly dont
have to trick him. The only thing youll get for all your trouble is a decimated self-esteem
and the knowledge that you wasted your skinny years on a man who didnt want you in
the first place.
Again, theyre not stupid. They understand perfectly what it is youre trying to do.
And I can assure you: The only person that will get played here is you. Think about it,
would you work for your employer and let him decide at some later date whether or not
hell commit to hiring and paying you? Of course not. The notion is so absurd youre
probably chuckling to yourself as you read this. Like any savvy professional you sit down
and work out the parameters of your work relationship well beforehand. Surely you
would want to be even more levelheaded about something so crucial as your life partner?
Remember, some day you might actually exchange DNA with this guy. Hell be
swimming around in your gene pool and in your life FOREVER. Do you really want
someone who is focused only on what he wants? Someone who wants to get the goodies
without paying for them? Consider the implications of spending a lifetime with such a
person. You would tire of their immature selfishness very quickly. You want a guy who
sees you as the fantastical creature that you are. Who cant believe that he landed
someone like you, and cant wait to announce it to the world. So, dont humiliate and
disgrace yourself by trying to convince someone that you make the cut. Theres
absolutely nothing more demeaning and you deserve better than that. Leave him so fast
hell have windburn.
Stop falling for the okey-doke. You have to be clear and upfront about your wantsand needs. And this brings up another issue. Women frequently tell me that theyre afraid
to tell a man what they want. They dont want to be demanding for fear that the man will
leave them. Any hesitancy you feel about sharing your needs with a man, should be a
clear signal that perhaps he isnt the one for you. The right man will want to be there to
fulfill your needs, and some of your wants as well. If his response is to walk away, or
worse, degrade or belittle your needs, dont hesitate to say, Next! One guy I dated taunted
me when I shared my desire for a husband and family. He told me that nobodys doing
that white picket fence stuff anymore. Well guess what, Ive got a fabulous family and
hes the old dude in the club. Isnt that sad? (No, Im not being facetious here, I really
do feel badly for him. He really missed out.) Im thankful that I had the self-esteem to
move on, but I wonder how many women have been frightened into thinking that their
very natural desire for a home and security is somehow too much? How many women
give in and play house out of fear of being left alone? This is a major mistake. Men love a
woman who is well loved; and a key indicator of how well a woman loves herself is her
ability to ensure that her needs are met. Its a basic human instinct and any man worth
having will not have a problem with a woman who takes care of herself. Never make a
mans needs a priority over yours. If marriage is important to you, theres no shame in
that. You should love nobody more than you love you. Hell respect you for it, and more
importantly, you will too.
Now I know youre wondering: So how do you get a man to marry you? See, thats
whats so fabulous, you dont. If you vet a man properly from the outset, that is, carefully
choosing honorable, marriage-minded men, theres no scheming or manipulation
involved. As always, this is not informed by what a man says, but by what he does.
Marriage minded men act like marriage minded men. They dont rush into sex because
theyre mature enough to realize that they need to get to know a woman first. They are
upfront and direct about where theyre coming from. Theyre looking for a woman who
wants to be cherished and have the same basic values and beliefs that they have. The
simple answer is; if you want to get married, look for men who want to get married."
0
Comments
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tama! kaya itigil niyo na kakaflood sa fb newsfeed about women vs men..
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uzumaki_naruto wrote: »tama! kaya itigil niyo na kakaflood sa fb newsfeed about women vs men..
Facebook learning.
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Sana naman ginagamit ang SPACEBAR. Kaasar basahin eh. Bilib ako sa mga nagbasa nito kahit maikli lang.
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nice article pero may fault din yung lalake sa example... walang balls sabihin na ayaw na niya yung babae at palayasin na...
while the girl in the article was doing everything within her power to convince the man he loves to marry her, the man acted like a coward because he was too afraid to lose his maid.
you keep a girl in your prescence because you love her... not because she cooks, cleans, and have sex with you.0 -
nice article pero may fault din yung lalake sa example... walang balls sabihin na ayaw na niya yung babae at palayasin na...
while the girl in the article was doing everything within her power to convince the man he loves to marry her, the man acted like a coward because he was too afraid to lose his maid.
you keep a girl in your prescence because you love her... not because she cooks, cleans, and have sex with you.
i think the authors point is that the man never really loved the girl he was just using her. if you really love the girl, you would always let her know what are her chances of getting married to you in the end. he was just making her paasa. he may get jealous, possessive and even cry, but it does not mean that he truly cares for he. she is considered property.0 -
i think the authors point is that the man never really loved the girl he was just using her. if you really love the girl, you would always let her know what are her chances of getting married to you in the end. he was just making her paasa. he may get jealous, possessive and even cry, but it does not mean that he truly cares for he. she is considered property.
I share the same sentiment here. Admittedly,we know girls when guys are just using us. Pahamak lang ang salitang 'love' kaya di makapagdecide kung iwan o hindi. 0 -
Sobrang ganda ng article na to. Nice one TS. Super true.
if you wanna get married, dont settle for anything less. di kasi natin maipipilit ito eh. dapat kusa at dapat gusto talaga ng lalake.0 -
i'd have to agree on this one...
kaya nga pag may mga mag-bf/gf na more than 6 years (some even 10!) na and not yet married, napap-huh?! ang tagal nyo na hindi pa rin kayo kasal talaga ako...because there MuST be something wrong...0 -
Personally I admire Mr.Rickym for this post..I'm sure a lot of people will have a change of life when they read this..In relation to his/her post I would like to share/ask something..
What if for instance, a 22 year old guy plans to marry but in an older age lets say 34, because he wants to be a financially stabled doctor or lawyer first before getting married.. And at 23 he was TRULY and deeply in love with a girl and believing they will marry in the future they played house for a couple of years.. But unfortunately at the age of 30 or so they broke up because the guy fell out of love..
Can we really conclude that the guy JUST USED the girl? because he played house with her but didn't marry her in the end..
No matter how much we love our girlfriends or boyfriends now, we are never sure of what will happen in the future..I didn't elaborate the reason why he fell out of love because i believe that as much as we have no reason why we fall in love, sometimes we also fall out of love.. it doesn't mean that the love we felt wasn't true back then,does it?...its just that people change, feelings change. sometimes for the better but sometimes it kills.. Let's face it, this happens in reality.. even for girls.. I just like to give room for the "other guys" who are not users, and who really fell in love back then (because they didn't seem to exist in this world in the post above lol..joke).. I hope some people understand me on this..
that not all guys who left their long time girlfriends are users...
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^^Honey, let me use your example here huh.
Is it just the men who are selfish? No. The women, whenever they play house with men, are also selfish. They don't play house for charity. Right?
They play house so that later on, the men would realize how "good" a wife they are.
It's also a form of manipulation.
So, no. Hindi lang ang babae ang naiipit sa pag-ple-play house nila sa lalaki, nakakapang-ipit din sila.
Akala kasi ng maraming babae porke't naofferan na sila ng "kasal" eh wala na rin silang karapatang mag-improve. Mali yon.
Karapatan at katungkulan ng bawat babae na maging creative kung paano nila ipapackage ang sarili nila.0 -
Well the thing is as much as we want to clear up "they are not users" you really can't tell that to emotionally depraved women. Those that are dumped (anyone, any gender) would feel abandoned. Abandoned will feel spiteful. The spiteful will always think negatively about the situation.
It's like trying to explain to an erratic mother why her child is dead.0 -
SUPER TRUE and is very handy for girls especially in a country like the Philippines which use to be immensely traditional... 0
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adiposethoughts--SUPER TRUE especially in a country like the Philippines which used to be immensely traditional....0
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nice article pero may fault din yung lalake sa example... walang balls sabihin na ayaw na niya yung babae at palayasin na...
while the girl in the article was doing everything within her power to convince the man he loves to marry her, the man acted like a coward because he was too afraid to lose his maid.
you keep a girl in your prescence because you love her... not because she cooks, cleans, and have sex with you.
In a perfect world, ganyan sana
Sadly, we don't live in one, and the example above does happen.
I have a guy friend who used to do that, and no matter what we tell him, he'd justify with "eh sya naman may gusto gumawa nun eh, hindi ko naman hinihingi sa kanya"
And as insensitive as it may sound, he had a point. It was the girl who was offering her "services" for free. The guy was keeping her for the convenience she brings into his life. Then when the girl eventually got fed up, the guy just shrugged it off and started doing those tasks she used to do.
That's the thing - what she was offering to him were stuff he could actually do for himself, so she was dispensable.
So I guess a guy wants to marry a girl when she starts to make him feel like he can't live without her. She has become indispensable to him (but that's just guesswork on my part since I'm not a guy
) 0 -
Minsan nakaka-OP talaga pag puro girls ang mga nag-uusap. Shempre sa una eh hindi mo papansinin pero usually there is something that would catch your attention. Magugulat ka na lang na ganun na pala interpretation nila sa ginawa ng guy. But usually as guys eh alam mong hindi naman talaga ganun yung meaning. Weird for me. 0
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I've seen examples of this situation often enough.
I've made 3 couples get married. When the bf realized that the girls were going out with me, 2 of them proposed right away coz' nag selos *** loko, 1 deliberately got his gf buntis. what a dweeb. but its their call.
I guess this is a reflection of the "if they want you..they will marry you" part.
Aside from the "if they are challenged.. they will marry you too" (if they are stupid and if you are stupid as well)0 -
I've seen examples of this situation often enough.
I've made 3 couples get married. When the bf realized that the girls were going out with me, 2 of them proposed right away coz' nag selos *** loko, 1 deliberately got his gf buntis. what a dweeb. but its their call.
I guess this is a reflection of the "if they want you..they will marry you" part.
Aside from the "if they are challenged.. they will marry you too" (if they are stupid and if you are stupid as well)
So... Why don't you believe in marriage?0
:( 
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In this Discussion
- ettevyvi 3 posts
- asukakazama777 3 posts
- JobyBryant24 2 posts
- vincex 2 posts
- F-A Soldier 2 posts
- adiposethoughts 2 posts
- uzumaki_naruto 1 post
- ~gIrLnXtDoOr~ 1 post
- unknown_SM 1 post
- rickym 1 post
