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Help Needed: Foreign - Filipina Relationship Advice

I’m a foreigner and I’ve been in a serious relationship with a Filipina for 3 years now. My girlfriend is considered pretty for a Filipina and I am considered “guwapo” for a foreigner. I am gone away from the Philippines about half my time working. I don’t understand her behavior. There are two things I have questions about.
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1. My girlfriend is obsessively jealous and thinks I cheat on her. She constantly accuses me of this and I’m faithful to her. One foreign friend that has lived in the Philippines for 6 years told me this is the sign of a woman who is a cheater. What are your thoughts?
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2. I have supported my girlfriend and her daughter for the last 3 years. For the first year and a half she stayed on budget perfectly and I used to give her money once a month. For the last year and a half she can’t stay on budget ever. I’ve even tried to give it to her twice a month. She ALWAYS runs out of money and I have to give her more. She says it’s only for necessities, and her father is not making much money now. I’ve told her we need to stay on budget, but it’s hardly necessities because she insisted I buy her a new 9000p cell phone and later a 4500p camera. What’s going on? I would like to hear from some Filipinos. Thank you for your help!
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Comments

  • pushpoppushpop PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    1. Excessive jealousy is a sign of insecurity. How old is she anyway? Maybe she hasn't matured enough to handle relationships yet

    2. You shouldn't have offered financial support to her in the first place, that's the root of your problem now. She got spoiled. Sounds like she doesn't work and is dependent on her father? And she has a daughter already? Those are major warning signs. Try to help her grow up if you can - and if you have the patience for it.

    Good luck *okay*
  • How old are you, Brian? and How old is your girlfriend? I think the reason will all depend on the answer to these questions.
  • Foreigner ginagatasan ng cheap Pinay ... what else is new? :glee:

    --
    my_2_cents
  • freshbabefreshbabe PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    -what's her family background?? isn't she working-atleast for her kid????

    -why is she dependent with her dad?? i'm thinking she might be well-off too here in Philippines-to still can depend w/ her parent. But if she's not.. it's understandable how she could be so eager to want things/stuffs she can't afford, or she didn't have. But how I wish you can persuade her to WORK FOR IT as well.

    -You are the foreigner-decide if she's worth it as your partner. I felt like foreigners can "come & disappear & really cheat & lie about their real status". Sorry that's just my impression of foreigner's coming here in Philippines. Not unless that foreigner-proposes Marriage.

    -For your peace of mind. You can hire a detective to spy on her. Before any wedding bells scenario.

    -Idk with the cellphone & cam you mentioned. But it's a fair price for a gadget. Most of the costly ones HERE are 20k-30k PESO bracket. Really worth the price-for the quality. You can buy cheaper gadgets in the US though.
  • 1. The girl may have some mental problems :lol:

    2. OMG. Classic cheap pinay. What you have there is a parasite :lol:

    Please consult with Alpha Green :glee:
  • 1. The girl may have some mental problems :lol:

    2. OMG. Classic cheap pinay. What you have there is a parasite :lol:

    Please consult with Alpha Green :glee:


    Who is Alpha Green?
  • I will answer all questions tomorrow. Thank you all for your advice. Love is a dangerous emotion!
  • lancealmekianlancealmekian PEx Rookie ⭐
    brian413 wrote: »
    I’m a foreigner and I’ve been in a serious relationship with a Filipina for 3 years now. My girlfriend is considered pretty for a Filipina and I am considered “guwapo” for a foreigner. I am gone away from the Philippines about half my time working. I don’t understand her behavior. There are two things I have questions about.
    -
    1. My girlfriend is obsessively jealous and thinks I cheat on her. She constantly accuses me of this and I’m faithful to her. One foreign friend that has lived in the Philippines for 6 years told me this is the sign of a woman who is a cheater. What are your thoughts?
    -
    2. I have supported my girlfriend and her daughter for the last 3 years. For the first year and a half she stayed on budget perfectly and I used to give her money once a month. For the last year and a half she can’t stay on budget ever. I’ve even tried to give it to her twice a month. She ALWAYS runs out of money and I have to give her more. She says it’s only for necessities, and her father is not making much money now. I’ve told her we need to stay on budget, but it’s hardly necessities because she insisted I buy her a new 9000p cell phone and later a 4500p camera. What’s going on? I would like to hear from some Filipinos. Thank you for your help!

    you're being milked, bud. you should have known when you've gotten yourself into this the first time that (almost) ALL filipinas (and almost all asian women for that matter) look at foreigners like you as milking cows. (okay i'll cut you some slack, if you didn't know that, then now you do).

    best tip i can give you, go find a girl in your own country. there really isn't anything to it. sheesh i don't get why or how you western men can't get enough of the filipinas-are-wife-material koolaid. seriously. :rolleyes:
  • rickymrickym PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    best tip i can give you, go find a girl in your own country. there really isn't anything to it. sheesh i don't get why or how you western men can't get enough of the filipinas-are-wife-material koolaid. seriously. :rolleyes:

    this is from what i've heard.

    westerners want filipinas because filipinas are much sweeter and a lot more slender.

    the reason why some foreigners want filipinas is that no woman from their country is willing to marry them. some of them are wife beaters. drunkards womanizers.

    a gold digging woman from a first world country is much more expensive than a golddigging pinay. for example a friend told me that if you spend for a date in a first world country, you would spend around 10000 pesos for a girl who is not necessarily beautiful and you won't even get laid. with 10000 pesos a month here you can sustain a girl with such an allowance and ask for sex as often as you want. if you spend 10000 on one date you can date a girl who looks like an actress and even get laid.

    getting married to a filipina without having an option of a divorce is far cheaper than being divorced in other countries. if the foreigner goes back to his country, he can actually divorce her and legally get married again in his country even though they got married here in the philippines, and even if he did not get an annulment.
  • brian413 wrote: »
    I’m a foreigner and I’ve been in a serious relationship with a Filipina for 3 years now. My girlfriend is considered pretty for a Filipina and I am considered “guwapo” for a foreigner. I am gone away from the Philippines about half my time working. I don’t understand her behavior. There are two things I have questions about.
    -
    1. My girlfriend is obsessively jealous and thinks I cheat on her. She constantly accuses me of this and I’m faithful to her. One foreign friend that has lived in the Philippines for 6 years told me this is the sign of a woman who is a cheater. What are your thoughts?
    -
    2. I have supported my girlfriend and her daughter for the last 3 years. For the first year and a half she stayed on budget perfectly and I used to give her money once a month. For the last year and a half she can’t stay on budget ever. I’ve even tried to give it to her twice a month. She ALWAYS runs out of money and I have to give her more. She says it’s only for necessities, and her father is not making much money now. I’ve told her we need to stay on budget, but it’s hardly necessities because she insisted I buy her a new 9000p cell phone and later a 4500p camera. What’s going on? I would like to hear from some Filipinos. Thank you for your help!


    stop sending her money and see if she still going to stay with you if not then its time for you to move on :) or learn to say "no" :)







    - hindi naman filipina lang ang goldigger, yung bf ng friend ko ngkkwento mas grabe daw ang mga babae dun dahil puro pera pag wala ka ng pera iiwan ka na at tsaka hindi sweet, hindi marunong magalaga at walang pakialam, i think depende sa tao kahit anung race may ganyang talagang user .. swertihan lang :lol::lol:
  • gooseberrygooseberry 🐯 Tiger Squad🥈
    A lot of you must be revolving under an environment of desperate sharks who will feed and eat every living thing. :glee:

    I ain't saying she's a gold digger. But she ain't hooking up with no broke !#(@!(.
  • Thank you for all your information. Believe it or not there are actually some good foreigners who come to the Philippines and want to meet someone sweet and both have a better life together. (Yes there are many FU alcoholics that come too, that give foreigners a bad name. I do not associate with them.)
    -
    A little more history: I knew her for a year and didn't get serious with her and gave her no money. She pushed it to next level by calling all the time. I agree supporting her is the problem, because many girls will stay with a man just for the money.
    -
    Yes the signs were there from the start. Got pregnant in college and got married. Left her bum husband because he wouldn’t work. She hasn't worked because she has been in college for the last 3 years and will finish in summer. She has problems with anger, HPD, and NPD. Please see my post on the question on this same thread about "what would you prefer uneducated or moody" because I describe her there. I'd say way too much drama!
    -
    What has really brought our relationship to the critical area is her inability to manage money for the last 1 ½ years. I don't see anything different in her family. Her father is a farmer and she says things haven't been good lately. Any time I try to discuss money with her, she says, "I'm insulting her", "you count what you do", "you think I'm just a beggar". Do Filipinos discuss money with their partners and try to make a plan together? And she hasn't taught her (our) daughter English in 3 years (she’s 5).
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    The reason I have been with her was because she calls me all the time, loves to talk, always asking me to come to PH, and is very romantic and hot when I'm with her. Says all I want is you here, even if we only have a simple life. But there is still too much drama.
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    I want to hear what is normal Filipina behavior from Filipinos. Thanks for all of your help!
  • Ice BurnIce Burn PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    Clearly she's the one chasing after you and you seem to relish the fact that you're being chased after.

    Obviously you dislike a number of her behaviors but here you are choosing to put up with it.

    You know for a fact that the easiest solution is to stop sending her money. If she sticks around despite you not sending any money, maybe just maybe she's not with you for the money...

    TS, there's a lot of nicer girls out there but if you choose to stick with that girl despite all the red flag signs, then stop complaining and put up with it then.
  • brian413 wrote: »
    . Any time I try to discuss money with her, she says, "I'm insulting her", "you count what you do", "you think I'm just a beggar". Do Filipinos discuss money with their partners and try to make a plan together? And she hasn't taught her (our) daughter English in 3 years (she’s 5).
    -
    !

    your questions are a bit vague. Kindly expound. What do you mean by discuss money and make a plan together.
  • you know she has HPD (or you just diagnosed her?), then why are you still with her? are you trying to justify her manipulating ways? if you are not physically with her and all she can offer is to call you everyday, what do you get from giving into her dramas?
  • brian413 wrote: »

    The reason I have been with her was because she calls me all the time, loves to talk, always asking me to come to PH, and is very romantic and hot when I'm with her. Says all I want is you here, even if we only have a simple life. But there is still too much drama.
    -
    I want to hear what is normal Filipina behavior from Filipinos. Thanks for all of your help!

    This is not typical Filipina behaviour. Decent Filipinas DO NOT DO THE CHASING; decent Filipinas are CHASED and SOUGHT AFTER.

    I'm sure you can read between the lines.... :glee:

    --
    my_2_cents
  • freshbabefreshbabe PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    brian413 wrote: »
    Thank you for all your information. Believe it or not there are actually some good foreigners who come to the Philippines and want to meet someone sweet and both have a better life together. (Yes there are many FU alcoholics that come too, that give foreigners a bad name. I do not associate with them.)
    -
    A little more history: I knew her for a year and didn't get serious with her and gave her no money. She pushed it to next level by calling all the time. I agree supporting her is the problem, because many girls will stay with a man just for the money.
    -
    Yes the signs were there from the start. Got pregnant in college and got married. Left her bum husband because he wouldn’t work. She hasn't worked because she has been in college for the last 3 years and will finish in summer. She has problems with anger, HPD, and NPD. Please see my post on the question on this same thread about "what would you prefer uneducated or moody" because I describe her there. I'd say way too much drama!
    -
    What has really brought our relationship to the critical area is her inability to manage money for the last 1 ½ years. I don't see anything different in her family. Her father is a farmer and she says things haven't been good lately. Any time I try to discuss money with her, she says, "I'm insulting her", "you count what you do", "you think I'm just a beggar". Do Filipinos discuss money with their partners and try to make a plan together? And she hasn't taught her (our) daughter English in 3 years (she’s 5).
    -
    The reason I have been with her was because she calls me all the time, loves to talk, always asking me to come to PH, and is very romantic and hot when I'm with her. Says all I want is you here, even if we only have a simple life. But there is still too much drama.
    -
    I want to hear what is normal Filipina behavior from Filipinos. Thanks for all of your help!

    ^^ She lives in a rural area. And a farmer as his dad. That would explain her social status. And I think those gadgets you mentioned -is already a big thing for her. Although for me -that would be cheap(city standards). And those gadgets would be way cheaper if you-get those gadgets in the US.

    -Now you are emotionally attached-coz she gave a d*mn about you. You're attracted to her as well. Now even if she was diagnosed with those disorders you mentioned earlier in your post. I think -it's still your cue if you still have the patience to put up with her disorders.

    -Look it's her DAUGHTER. And she has the responsibility to feed her child. Even a student can do part-time jobs as a crew member in any fastfood chain. Or atleast be a factory worker.

    -Living in their area-rural provincial place. A kid can do & live w/o learning "english." Unlike if they were bred here in the city. And it depends with the social status as well. And the kind of school a kid was exposed of. And the kind of study habits, and the language that they're more focused to learn & practice. If it's a low standard school then they receive low standard of education(that includes learning english). Not unless a kid is inborn a genius. Who loves to learn.

    -Any "SERIOUS" relationship discusses about money or plans of being together in THE future. Marriage, House, Own CAR, Raising a Family.

    -The difference in your situation here is - your gf is golddigging on you. I mean if she was a good GF. She could atleast give you a draft of where your money is going. RECEIPTS. Stop being a MOR0N. And all those sweet talking and bootycall you've been getting from her wouldn't replace the hard-earned money you've been working.

    -The moment you get DRAINED. She ain't gonna stay with you. It's okay if the money goes to saved earnings-like a HOUSE/CAR. That both of you someday would benefit from-when you live-in together.

    -Tell her to get a JOB. If she doesn't want to be treated like a beggar. PROVE HERSELF THAT SHE CAN STAND FINANCIALLY W/O YOUR HELP. AND RAISE HER KID ALONE. YOU CAN HELP BUT NOT TO THE POINT THAT YOU'D SHOULDER EVERYTHING. SHE SHOULD BE OBLIGED TO RAISE HER OWN KID AS WELL. AND SHE SHOULD BE GRATEFUL THAT YOU'VE BEEN RAISING THAT KID FINANCIALLY. AND AGAIN THAT KID SHE HAVE ISN'T EVEN YOURS. :rolleyes:

    -She can only stop work-if she bore a baby from you. And she starts raising your very own baby with her. And what's the purpose of her degree?? If she can't use it for WORK. Not working and relying solely from you even to raising with her kid who isn't even yours-is a clear sign that she's been gold-diggin on you. SHE'S THE TYPE "A" BEGGAR.:rotflmao:
  • biancabee wrote: »
    your questions are a bit vague. Kindly expound. What do you mean by discuss money and make a plan together.
    A budget. Go through why it is costing you so much more now than it did 2 years ago. Like someone said, instead of acting out like a child she should get a job to make up that 30% more money she wants. Of course she'd say she is too busy with school, but it is not true.
  • my_2_cents wrote: »
    This is not typical Filipina behaviour. Decent Filipinas DO NOT DO THE CHASING; decent Filipinas are CHASED and SOUGHT AFTER.

    I'm sure you can read between the lines.... :glee:

    --
    my_2_cents

    She has told me that. But I have told her that I'm paying for everything. The least you can do is call me when you are interested. I have a friend whose girl never calls him except for money and he's too stupid to realize that she's using him!
  • you know she has HPD (or you just diagnosed her?), then why are you still with her? are you trying to justify her manipulating ways? if you are not physically with her and all she can offer is to call you everyday, what do you get from giving into her dramas?
    I had heard about the HPD and NPD, then read about them in the other thread about "what would rather have poor or moody". I am with her because I love her, but the acting out has become too much as well as the money. Instead of getting better, I see no change at all in her behavior, maybe even worse. The only change is I know how to handle her better. I do not justify her behavior at all. Several of her bad behaviors is why I never went forward with marrying her. She's had all the time anybody needs if they want show some improvement, unfortunately I see little to none and in some ways gotten worse.
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