My friend wants out after 20 years!

eunice_2011

Just the other day my bestfriend in college messaged me in FB asking for advice.

Here is the scenario..
He's working overseas and is schedule to come home next month.
But the problem is he doesn't feel like going home anymore.
He said he doesn't love his wife and admitted he married his wife
for the wrong reason/motive..financial security..his greatest
believe was "What is love if you have an empty stomach"..and now he is miserable..
he said he can't stay anymore..he wants out..
By the way , they have been married for 20 years..and they have one daughter..

Any advice pexers..

djaynitor

Life is short ... if one is unhappy, one should LEAVE. Common sense.

--sent from my Windows

freshbabe

-What's a relationship w/o LOVE???? He should do the necessary moves- to divorce or split w/ his wife -PERSONALLY AND LEGALLY(if kakayanin LEGALLY).

-Hindi yung mawawala na lang siya ng parang bula. And HE SHOULD BE OBLIGATED TO HAVE A FATHER-DAUGHTER RELATIONSHIP w/ HIS CHILD. Kawawa kasi yung bata. The child has nothing to do w/ their FAILED RELATIONSHIP. He should continue CHILD SUPPORT din. Conscience na lang niya-if pababayaan na lang niya yung kid niya.

-If adult or teenager na yung kid niya. Still THE FATHER has no reason to CUT OF TIES w/ his child. It's his child!!! And being a father has no expiry date. Obligated si "father" na pagtapusin ng pag-aaral or financial-support sa kid niya(if minor or teenager lang or freshgrad).

eunice_2011

djaynitor wrote: »

Life is short ... if one is unhappy, one should LEAVE. Common sense.

--sent from my Windows

san nga ganon lang kadali magdesisyon pag marriage na pinag-uusapan..to just leave pag hindi na masaya...:(

eunice_2011

freshbabe wrote: »

-What's a relationship w/o LOVE???? He should do the necessary moves- to divorce or split w/ his wife -PERSONALLY AND LEGALLY(if kakayanin LEGALLY).

-Hindi yung mawawala na lang siya ng parang bula. And HE SHOULD BE OBLIGATED TO HAVE A FATHER-DAUGHTER RELATIONSHIP w/ HIS CHILD. Kawawa kasi yung bata. The child has nothing to do w/ their FAILED RELATIONSHIP. He should continue CHILD SUPPORT din. Conscience na lang niya-if pababayaan na lang niya yung kid niya.

-If adult or teenager na yung kid niya. Still THE FATHER has no reason to CUT OF TIES w/ his child. It's his child!!! And being a father has no expiry date. Obligated si "father" na pagtapusin ng pag-aaral or financial-support sa kid niya(if minor or teenager lang or freshgrad).

- Nung nagkaproblema sila last time..and he insinuated na gusto nyang makipaghiwalay..nag attempt daw magsuicide si wife..so he promised na hindi na sya makikipaghiwalay ..

-no problem with him as a father, he loves his daughter very much and whatever happened he will fulfill his duty as a father...

enaej426

TS ... advise your friend to be a MAN and face his problem . He SHOULD go home to his family and talk about his problem to his wife. Hindi basta - basta na lang tatakasan niya ang issue niya sa family , in the first place baka siya lang ang me issue na ganyan for some underlying reason , malay mo escapegoat lang niya yan .

Kung ayaw niya , kausapin niya asawa niya , wag siyang maging unfair sa pamilya niya lalo't 20 years na silang mag-asawa.

eunice_2011

^ yes..that's what i've been telling him..to fix everything first ..
or baka pwede pa i save yung marriage..
..hindi naman talaga biro yung 20 years!..thanks

Nils

malamang may ibang babae yang kaibigan mo.

csmary

After 20 yrs of marriage he is miserable now? Lol such a loser. I think he found another rich girl to fool

eunice_2011

Nils wrote: »

malamang may ibang babae yang kaibigan mo.

he confessed..may naging babae nga daw sya...pero wala na raw sila at yun nga gusto nya na raw ayusin ang buhay nya....

MajorPain

eunice_2011 wrote: »

Just the other day my bestfriend in college messaged me in FB asking for advice.

Here is the scenario..
He's working overseas and is schedule to come home next month.
But the problem is he doesn't feel like going home anymore.
He said he doesn't love his wife and admitted he married his wife
for the wrong reason/motive..financial security..his greatest
believe was "What is love if you have an empty stomach"..and now he is miserable..
he said he can't stay anymore..he wants out..
By the way , they have been married for 20 years..and they have one daughter..

Any advice pexers..

So he basically married his wife because she is rich and could provide for the family? And it took him 20 years to figure out that he is miserable?

Sorry, but your best friend is a Douche. Not because he married for money but rather because it took him 20 years to figure out that he is miserable.

Would have been better if the wifey had no problems separating/divorcing but.. since you mentioned suicide then... consider marriage counselling.

darmonx

that is lame.. so kasal kasalan lang pala? marriage, regardless of the reason, is still a marriage.. ending a marriage is not a convenience.. it is about affordability and return on effort and investment. eh kung afford niya at worth it sa tingin niya.. then he should just do it... I just hope the wife goes after every bit of money she can get even if she doesn't need it.

Uinen

csmary wrote: »

After 20 yrs of marriage he is miserable now? Lol such a loser. I think he found another rich girl to fool

pineperahan lang. how pitiful.

eunice_2011

MajorPain wrote: »

So he basically married his wife because she is rich and could provide for the family? And it took him 20 years to figure out that he is miserable?

Sorry, but your best friend is a Douche. Not because he married for money but rather because it took him 20 years to figure out that he is miserable.

Would have been better if the wifey had no problems separating/divorcing but.. since you mentioned suicide then... consider marriage counselling.

.well it appears na ganon na nga....na he just married his wife for convenience... no love involved.....he is miserable in a sense na he's not happy....i was telling him kasi that i am very happy with my husband ..that i am so lucky to have found a great and loving husband..and yon nga..he told me that he never had the chance to experience daw yung ganong feelings because he married for the wrong reason/motive..

..am also worried about his wife when he mentioned about suicide..have met his wife only once....when they visited me..looks like they were ok...hindi pala ( or maybe siya lang )...i just told him to really think a lot before making any decision and consider his daughter first and foremost..

..thanks for your thoughts..

djaynitor

MajorPain wrote: »

Sorry, but your best friend is a Douche. Not because he married for money but rather because it took him 20 years to figure out that he is miserable.

At sino ka ba naman para manghatol? Malay mo nagbago ang ihip ng hangin pagkatapos lamang ng 20 taon.

Bottomline: sayang ang panahon at buhay kung nagtitiyaga lang sa kalagayang hindi naman nagpapaligaya.

--sent from my Windows

eunice_2011

Uinen wrote: »

pineperahan lang. how pitiful.

Hindi naman nya totally pineperahan yung wife nya...he's not a bum..may trabaho naman siya ..yung wife niya naman may business..and until now naman nagtatrabaho pa rin siya....actually he is the one supporting now kasi medyo mahina business ng wife niya...but even nung malakas pa business ng wife nya , he was also working ..hindi naman siya totally umasa sa wife niya....but then yun nga, major reason kung bakit niya pinakasalan yung wife is because she was financially stable...which is wrong..and now he is unhappy and can't stand it anymore..I just pitty him..

[email protected]_C

narealized nya na mahal pala niya ang kanyang bestfriend. Ngayong naka ipon na siya,papatol na si bestfriend

JobyBryant24

@TS: Hindi ba parang kayo na ata ni "My friend"?

eunice_2011

[email protected]_C wrote: »

narealized nya na mahal pala niya ang kanyang bestfriend. Ngayong naka ipon na siya,papatol na si bestfriend

...hindi po ganon ang scenario..

eunice_2011

JobyBryant24 wrote: »

@TS: Hindi ba parang kayo na ata ni "My friend"?

...nope..he is just a friend !*okay*

adiposethoughts

Kung ikaw tunay na kaibigan, eto sabihin mo jan sa tropa mo:

"Chong, dederechohin kita. Sa totoo lang, ang kapal ng mukha mo. Ngayong hindi na OK ang business ng asawa mo at ikaw na ang inaasahan niyang sumuporta sa pamilya niyo, mag-iinarte ka ng ganyan. Hindi kasalanan ng asawa mo kung bakit mo siya pinakasalan. Hindi ka naman niya tinutukan ng baril di ba? Oo alam ko di ka na happy, pero sino ba ang naglagay sa posisyon na yan? Hindi ba ikaw rin?"

Walang kwenta yang lalaking tinatawag mong kaibigan. Hindi marunong mag isip. Porke ngayon may pera na siya kasi OFW siya malakas na loob niya makipagkalas?

Kung ikaw ay isang tunay na kaibigan, mas mabuting payuhan mo yung babae / wife ng tropa mo at sabihin mong wag siyang papayag na makipaghiwalay sa tropa mo at katiting lang ang makukuha niyang pera sa tropa mo. Kelangan malaki ang mababawi niya sa tropa mo tutal ginag0 lang naman siya at pinakasalan dahil sa pera. Dapat bawing bawi siya noh.