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tragic tragic horror story

I would like to seek help because my life has been completely broken, in a horror movie twist but which was the reality of my life. Here is what happened to me. Details of my name I will not provide to protect my parents who are known personalities in our place.
I am a post graduate student in Ateneo de Manila
University. Last December 2010, I was in a
relationship with a working class man who resembled a childhood sweetheart. I contacted Dra.
Jocelyn Gauzon-Gayares, a psychiatrist in Bacolod city, asking for
advice regarding contraceptives. She offered to help me with an
abortion, providing, I went with her to a mental institution,
Metropsyche Cebu, which was in another city. She promised me I was
just to merely have a look and could go out immediately right after,
if I didn't like it there. Seeing that I could just walk away right
there and that, and because she was refusing to help me with an
abortion, unless I went: I caved in, out of fear that I was pregnant,
and fear of my mother's wrath should I be pregnant.

Here is the history, I had been seeing Dra. Gayares following the
deaths of my grandmother and dog, but only for grief counselling. I
clearly told her I did not believe in psychiatry, which even in our
classes in Ateneo, we openly discuss and trace the father of
psychiatry to be a purely racist person who created such diseases as "Negritude" (cure of which was whitening of skin) and "Drapetomania" (an illness labelled for rebellious slaves, cure of which was that
they were to be whipped). Dra. Gayares herself told me that "sanity is merely a conventional frame of mind." I consult her in the series of years only for medical advice, when I have flu, advice for feeding raw food for my dogs, as she can be reached through text. I clearly told her I considered her as a friend not as a psychiatrist and only talked to her about the long-going misunderstanding between me and my mother.
I am an atheist, my mother is extremely religious. Dra. Gayares
labelled me as borderline personality disorder and obssessive
compulsive disorder: the pyschological test which I took proved this
to be untrue.

Anyway, going back to December of 2010, I was enjoying my sem break
from Ateneo and clearly leading a VERY very happy life. I told her I
don't want least of all to be confined in that asylum? Why? I was a
very happy person, not to brag but I enjoyed writing for my classes
and had straight As which I worked very hard for. Furthermore, I was
involved last year in a dog rescue operation in our city, where I
single handedly rescued 13 dogs, 3 pups from the dog pound and had
them rehomed. New of these broke out in the national and local
dailies in the following links:

http://gulfnews.com/news/world/phili...sages-1.688904

http://www.gmanews.tv/story/202106/t...ion-in-bacolod

http://www.philstar.com/Article.aspx...CategoryId=447


Anna Cabrera and Doctor Dave Arceo of PAWS (Philippine Animal Welfare
Society) personally helped me with the rescue operations. Anna,
through phone, and Doc Dave coming here to talk with Mayor Bing
Leonardia.
Further more, the director of PAWS and a dearest friend of mine, Ms.
Elsie Pfleider Araneta, was coming home last Christmas for a vacation.
We were meeting up and also to discuss further rescue operations.

All of these plans were to go botched, because December 14, tricked
by Dra. Gayares, I went with her to Cebu to Metropsyche, and suddenly
the iron gates were shut. I found myself caged, my 2 cell phones
grabbed from me. My ex-boyfriend had warned me of this, that I was
being tricked but I refused to believe him, and he was the last person
I called before burly guards and matron nurses grabbed all my
possession from me. I treated Dra. Gayares and her staff to 2 meals
before this treachery was done to me, no sign of humanity from their
steely faces. As for the very trusted doctor, she simply vanished and
left me in the hands of the wards.

Of course, all this was with my mother's consent, Dra. Gayares
betrayed my trust and she also did NOT tell my mother about the real
condition inside the rehabilitation center. My mother was against my
relationship with the working class man, for which Dra. Gayares very willingly had me put inside, she knew very well I was leading a very happy
life and looking forward to a very very merry christmas with my
friends. Dra. Gayares was also made disparaging comments against the working class man because he is "uneducated" and short of insituation him to be of a "lower " kind/class because of his social standing and lack of education.
And yet she speaks of equality and altruism "Christian-ness" on one hand.

To make a long story short, I found myself locked with the insane, in the first floor of the center, on the eve of Dec. 14. I found myself literally going crazy. The insane women were harrassing me and they had dazed glazy eyes plus the door was locked with burly guards guarding the doors. I tried to escape through the iron grills and hematoma-ed my left eye.

The following day, I was brought to the 2nd floor of the center where drug addicts, rebellious children, and the likes were placed to
"reform" them. I suffered countless psychological inhumanities. A
fellow Ilonggo Mr. Z from California and a certaing Mr.
X. , an Ilonggo from Iloilo too, were made to face the wall for
months to no end, for refusing to comply with the center's rules. Mr. Z was punished for the slightest infractions such as merely
singing and being too talkative, he would be tied in a chair or bed
and forced to face the wall, a very psychologically tortorous task for
months non-stop, which can drive a sane person insane. He was also drugged with depakoates leading him to be a salivating obedient shell.
I myself was forced to eat meat when they found out I was vegetarian,
the burly wards would gloat when I was helpless and forced to dunks
hulks of meat against my will. When they found out I was weight
conscious too, they forcefed me mounds and mounds of rice. I was also made to stand and face the wall for 2 weeks morn to night. We were not allowed to move bowel, unless the heads gave there nod, shower time was only 5 minutes. I had asthma and flu, I have a congenital heart disease ailment, and if I could not sleep because of difficulty breathing, they would threaten to sedate me with an injection. I was also forced to scrub toilet bowls with feces using my bare hands. I was also forced to wash the floors with towels, kneeling till the floors scraped my knees and my knees bled. I was also forced to carry heavy loads of clothes, despite the fact that my heart condition forbids me from carrying heavy load. I am under heart medication for my ailment. We were also forbidden to write or tell our parents about the real condition of our situation. For the first 3 months except through letter writing, no contact with parents is allowed and in the letter writing, we are forced to write we are OK, even if we are not.
I was punished because I was an atheist and refused to join the
rosaries and I was forced to attend Church masses under the threat of punishment.
And they speak of Christianity and goodness.
The ones running the institution imagine what they do with their power!
The ones confined inside are merely either weak or rebellious souls.
My parents took me out on February 15 2011, as they saw through the video monitors, my real condition, how they felt I was being mistreated.
My life is completely destroyed because of what Dra. Gayares did to me.Dra. Flores and Dra. Igot (the last two are the psychiatrists manning the institution) are like gods of the institution.
Their male/female guards bodily search everyone daily, and make all the inmates hide when there are outside personnel visiting the center. Many many times, when there are visitors, we would be rushed and told to run and hide in one room until the visitors were gone. Now why would they do this, if they were in their darkest subconscious guilty of any anomaly. Why it seems to be the punishment and rules there are breaking souls instead of helping them?
If any object such as a shampoo is found missing or for the very smallest infraction, all of us inmates in the 2nd floor
would be punished, forced to face the wall all day and repeat," Thank you Ma'am Sir, Sorry Ma'am Sir" all day, in a very sick fashion,
repeatedly until sundusk.
Last year I was very happy, now I am not. In the psychological test
they took of me within the center, the results came out I was
depressed. Now who wouldn't be depressed? A completely happy person,
taken away from his/her life, caged, no cellphones, away from my
friends, loved ones, my 2 dogs, my boyfriend, for no just reason,
simply because the man I was in a relationship with came from a
working class background. Any normal person would be depressed to
find himself caged and behind bars during Christmas and New Year and not knowing up to when will this loss of freedom last. My studies in Ateneo, were aborted for me too.
Now I have panic attacks, post trauma, because of what they did to me.
I lost my rented place. I who have been living alone for 4 years and
so love my independence, find myself now living with my parents, with my mother who I do not get along with. I also lost my boyfriend and lost my studies, although I am in the process of resuming it this June.
Still, there is a great sense of loss and sadness. My rescue efforts
for native dogs were also aborted.
A very good friend of mine, an activist who assisted me in my dog rescue and are some of my very closest friends, said the sad irony is that I who was saving caged dogs, found myself caged during Christmas and New Year.
Why am I writing? I want not just justice for my case but for the
other inmates who are confined there and broken. I promised to help some friends there. A Mr. Z, fellow inmate told me wryly and succinctly, " we are paying them 30 thousand pesos per month to torture us." My parents spent nearly a hundred thousand pesos and some of my belongings there were lost.
Clearly Dra. Gayares mislead my mother, she made my mother believe it was like a resort where patients could have healthy therapy sessions. She also lied to me saying I could come and go as I please.
I have saved her text message to me saying " You are not mentally ill." The biggest IRONY of it all. Because she had me imprisoned their, my condition my feeling was like that of a caged beast, for an activist who rescued caged animals. She simply just disappeared callously walked away when we arrived there and I was cornered like a doomed caged dog by burly matrons and guards who snatched my 2 cellphones, my handbag, and demanded I took off my earring, necklace.

We were not allowed to talk to the psychiatrists who were like "gods" or "godessess" who we could only watch from afar and who would talk to us only once in 2-5 months.
Now, where is the therapy in that?
It was a place of torture, psychological and emotional. I was forced
to take Depakoate, zyprexa, even when I was against it because zyprexa made one gain weight and they knew I am not allowed to gain weight because of my heart condition. I gained 6 pounds when I left the institution. They gloated during medication time, when I was forced to take all the meds.
What Dra. Gayares, (she is based in Bacolod City) and Metropsyche
Cebu(of same city) did to me, is incomprehensible indescribable beyond words, the horror of everything that was done to me.
They present a holier than thou image.
But my life is completely destroyed.
I want to have a sense of peace and I sincerely and humbly request emotional help and support from truly kind hearted people who I know exist here.
I was also offered assistance by Dr. Steven Best, a very good friend
of mine and a Philosophy Professor of UTEP and renowned animal rights activist in America
I also want to help my friends, the other inmates there who are continuously suffering in the most hellish conditions.
I don't know if Dra. Gayares, got a fat commission for having me confined.
All I know is they most certainly almost destroyed my life, had I not been luckily rescued by my own parents.

Comments

  • -gelay--gelay- PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    aww.. this is a good film material. paging indie directors!! :lol:


    long read. is this true? some parts are just ridiculous. like your admission to the mental facility by recommendation alone, and the money she (dr. Gayares) got out of it. didn't you go through a series of mental/neuro tests before you were admitted for "treatment"?
  • No there was no series of treatments. I was blackmailed under the pretext of her helping me with an abortion. I was blackmailed into going in, I had no choice because I was scared of my mother if in case I was pregnant. Dra. Gayares clearly TOOK ADVANTAGE of that my fear
  • pbalasidpbalasid PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    nice! *okay*

    naalala ko bigla yung movie na "suckerpunch" hehehehe
  • No neuro tests no nothing I didn't even see her, I merely texted her and called her on phone about contraceptives and she promised me an abortion on the condition I went with her to the asylum. That speaks of her ethics much. and I was caged and trapped for christmas and new year
  • pbalasidpbalasid PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    are you sure she was a doctor?... baka naman pasyente din sya dun? the way she looks in the story somethings fishy na eh....

    and were you really preggers?
  • she is really a doctor but her actions speak much about herself. i was not pregnant after all but as i am very fearful of my mother i was just playing safe, because I really am very very afraid of my mother who has a strong personality. she took advantage of my fear and blackmailed me into going there in exchange of an abortion. i found myself caged when i arrived there and she was just GONE in a jiffy no trace of humanity on her face.
  • pbalasidpbalasid PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    well.... just make it a learning experience... or a stepping stone for something better in your life so when the time comes na you have a family na you'll be afraid yes but you have to be strong...so you can be proud to say that you've manage to go through those dark times in your life and made it better...
    ...everyone has there own "personal hell" but its how you handle it and push through is what its all about :*okay*
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