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Dealing with Rage-a-holics

Meron kayong partner na full of rage palagi. Paano nyo na deal? In a book by Barbara De Angelis, Fatal flaw daw ang anger as in:

"Living with an angry person is like living with a time bomb: you never know when it's going to go off. Anger is a terrorist--it holds the people it comes in contact with hostage. Spotting someone who has potential problems with anger is one of the easier Fatal Flaws to detect. No one turns into a rage-a-holic overnight. You'll see warning signs: he gets angry when little things don't go his way; he has little patience, and becomes easily annoyed; he has extreme mood swings; he is defensive; he raises his voice often. If you spot these signs, get out before you become the object of his pent-up rage."

Do you agree? hopeless case na ba or ma kuha pa ng therapy? Ano experience nyo?

Comments

  • no,it's not a hopeless case except if that person rejects help/improvement and is too proud to acknowledge that there is something wrong,as much as possible it's better to stay away (case to case basis though)
  • Kent_210Kent_210 Member PEx Guru 🎖️🎖️
    Its a clear indication of immaturity. Pahinugin mo lang, mag mamature din yan. Wag mo na lang patulan ok?
  • Maybe the rage-aholics, are susceptible to burn-outs. They are high achiever. They want things orderly. In time, they will be tolerant of things. I think, they give credit to where it is due. :)
  • ~gIrLnXtDoOr~~gIrLnXtDoOr~ PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    maybe rage-aholics just need an outlet to release their anger..baka stressed out lang or not getting enough s3x? :D a hobby? sports? exercise (exercise releases endorphins and endorphins make people happy.-from reese w. legally blonde hehe)?
  • ganyan yung liv in-partner ko...mag e 8 years na kami...ganyan pa din....I lost faith that he'll ever change....I'm just staying because of the kids
  • momOF2_KC wrote: »
    ganyan yung liv in-partner ko...mag e 8 years na kami...ganyan pa din....I lost faith that he'll ever change....I'm just staying because of the kids

    Rage-a-holics have their anger roots in childhood daw. I wonder if there is an Anger Therapy or Management Center in metro manila? Anyway. Here's an interesting article I read that reveal the root cause of angry partners:

    "Why Is My Partner So Angry?"

    There are many reasons people grow up to become rageaholics:

    * They were physically, verbally, or sexually absued as a child and stored up the rage inside, letting it out as an adult when they finally feel "safe."

    * They felt unloved or abandoned as a child, either through divorce, an absent parent, or the death of a parent, and act out that childhood rage as adults when they meet people who love them (potential "leavers").

    * They felt powerful as a child - they had alcoholic parents they couldn't save; they watched helplessly as one parent abused the other; they never had permission to express their feelings, and, as adults, they compensate for that powerlessness by controlling others with their anger.

    We've already talked about how many of us were not given permission as children to put words to our feelngs. If a child experiences any of the situations I just mentioned, he will naturally feel enormous sadness and grief. If he is unable to feel that grief at that time, it will surface years later as anger and rage.

    REPRESSED GRIEF FROM CHILDHOOD GETS ACTED OUT AS RAGE IN ADULTS

    This is why trying to "control" one's angry behavior is a useless form of therapy. The anger is a symptom, albeit a totally unacceptable symptom, of the rageaholic's deep hurt and sadness. Treating the anger without understanding the cause is a temporary and dangerous situation. Traditional talk or psychotherapy will not be an adequate form of help for someone suffering from chronic anger. Experiential emotional work such as psychodrama, physical forms of release such as hitting punching bags, screaming into pillows, and using batakas to strike out, and inner-child work will all be essential ingredients in helping a person transform his anger into grief and finally into healing"


    Guys. What do you think is the childhood cause of your partner's rage. My girlfriend childhood is such that her mother never care about her. She was so distant that she wasn't there with her at all since infant. So I guess it matched the description mentioned above "They felt unloved or abandoned as a child, either through divorce, an absent parent, or the death of a parent, and act out that childhood rage as adults when they meet people who love them (potential "leavers")".

    Try to analyze your rageaholic partner childhood and share with us. Maybe we can help each other analyze it and maybe seek a solution. I'm looking for an anger therapy center in manila. Or maybe I can let her shout at the ocean in manila bay? lol. Let's think of solutions to help our rageaholics partners. Or do you think it's hopeless na and one has to simply leave the relationship?
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