Home PEx Relationships Love - Principles, Practices & Preferences

which is better for the kids- staying together or separating when...

which is better for the kids- staying together or separating when husband and wife are always fighting and unhappy.

i know a lot of broken marriages have unhappy children, but is it really because the marriage is broken or is it because one of the parents don't bother to take care of the kids. if an agreement is reached that both parents see the kids on a regular basis. would it be better for the kids or not.

Comments

  • JUST_JTJUST_JT PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    Fighting between couples is never healthy for children.

    -Just_JT
    In.this.case.separation.is.the.lesser.evil.
  • I think there can be a point where your marriage has gone so bad you just have to leave. At this point you can't think of the children first, your in survival mode and first you have to save yourself before you can care about your children again.
    I think it's not so much the fighting of the parents which is bad for the kids, but the parents don't have energy to care for the kids anymore if they fight all the time and they tend to let their bad mood spill over to the kids.
    One thing is for sure: it's not easy for the kids if the parents seperate. But trouble with kids is a part of raising them, you'll always have some trouble no matter what.
  • conversations about serious topics all the more fighting-verbally or physically should be in private. i think children should not witness any violence from their own parents. if after the exhaustion of all possible solution to fix the marriage, separation is a better choice.
  • JUST_JT wrote: »
    Fighting between couples is never healthy for children.

    -Just_JT
    In.this.case.separation.is.the.lesser.evil.

    i couldn't agree more to this... *okay*
  • I've talked to some men who were very dissatisfied with their marriage and wife. The primary reason they can't separate from the wife is PITY. Kids issue is just secondary. Husband pities wife because the wife cannot survive, wife is too dependent on him, or wife has been jobless and skillless for years.

    Even my dad would occasionally mention that she still has "PITY" for my mom that's why he doesn't wanna leave her. And he's somewhat grateful my mom took care of my sick grandma (mom of my dad). But overall, he has no high regard for her. Boba raw, ***** raw, di raw marunong kumita ng pera, etc, etc.

    So lesson for the girls, let's learn to look kaawa-awa, learn how to fake cry, learn to pretend to be devoted loving mom. hehehe
    Another strategy: If we learn how to drive, we can ask our husband to buy us a car especially when the kids are already going to school. Hatid sa umaga, sundo sa hapon, traffic!!! Imagine, how many years the kids will be in school? That's the length of time we girls can pretend to be busy, pretend to be loving devoted mom, while we get pension fund from the guy!! Isn't that fun?
  • I've talked to some men who were very dissatisfied with their marriage and wife. The primary reason they can't separate from the wife is PITY. Kids issue is just secondary. Husband pities wife because the wife cannot survive, wife is too dependent on him, or wife has been jobless and skillless for years.

    Even my dad would occasionally mention that she still has "PITY" for my mom that's why he doesn't wanna leave her. And he's somewhat grateful my mom took care of my sick grandma (mom of my dad). But overall, he has no high regard for her. Boba raw, ***** raw, di raw marunong kumita ng pera, etc, etc.

    So lesson for the girls, let's learn to look kaawa-awa, learn how to fake cry, learn to pretend to be devoted loving mom. hehehe
    Another strategy: If we learn how to drive, we can ask our husband to buy us a car especially when the kids are already going to school. Hatid sa umaga, sundo sa hapon, traffic!!! Imagine, how many years the kids will be in school? That's the length of time we girls can pretend to be busy, pretend to be loving devoted mom, while we get pension fund from the guy!! Isn't that fun?

    LOL natawa ako
    considered lucky
    been working and not
    dependent with anyone.

    I want to prove
    to someone and to others
    that i can survive with or
    without a man.:)
  • rickymrickym PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    I've talked to some men who were very dissatisfied with their marriage and wife. The primary reason they can't separate from the wife is PITY. Kids issue is just secondary. Husband pities wife because the wife cannot survive, wife is too dependent on him, or wife has been jobless and skillless for years.

    Even my dad would occasionally mention that she still has "PITY" for my mom that's why he doesn't wanna leave her. And he's somewhat grateful my mom took care of my sick grandma (mom of my dad). But overall, he has no high regard for her. Boba raw, ***** raw, di raw marunong kumita ng pera, etc, etc.

    So lesson for the girls, let's learn to look kaawa-awa, learn how to fake cry, learn to pretend to be devoted loving mom. hehehe
    Another strategy: If we learn how to drive, we can ask our husband to buy us a car especially when the kids are already going to school. Hatid sa umaga, sundo sa hapon, traffic!!! Imagine, how many years the kids will be in school? That's the length of time we girls can pretend to be busy, pretend to be loving devoted mom, while we get pension fund from the guy!! Isn't that fun?

    that's what i suspected, pity. and to think a lot of girls think the guys stay with them since the guys love them.

    on second thought, ask your guy friends again. is it pity or is it their reputation as a man who will stay by his wife no matter what.
  • vincexvincex PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    rickym wrote: »
    which is better for the kids- staying together or separating when husband and wife are always fighting and unhappy.

    i know a lot of broken marriages have unhappy children, but is it really because the marriage is broken or is it because one of the parents don't bother to take care of the kids. if an agreement is reached that both parents see the kids on a regular basis. would it be better for the kids or not.

    There are many broken families with very happy, successful stable children. I could also say that there are a lot of problematic children in trashy, pathetic situations but whole families.

    Ergo. the individual. Parent/child play a more important role than the "completeness" of a family.
  • if there is emotional and physical abuse, of course it's better to separate..i'm sure even the kids (if mature enough to understand the situation) will agree to that
Sign In or Register to comment.