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almost married

Hi, i dont know if this is the right thread for this. anyway, admins pa delete na lang if ever may ganito. thanks. ok, i am a guy, 26 yrs of age. i am engaged and will be married late this year. i have these strange feelings that i cant explain if it is normal or what. i have these urges to go to bars, make new friends, and have CS. me and my girl has been together for 3 yrs now. and i just want to meet new faces and experience what other SINGLE guys do BEFORE they got married. i haven't had sex with any one other than my girl (and my ex). one of my friends always tell me that, "pare, kita mo ko, happily married, kasi... i was able to to all the things i want to do before i got married. so ikaw? ready ka na ba?" i told my girl about this (ok ok, im stupid, but i am also honest).. so what do you think? is this still normal.. this is actually a loooong story that i cut short. most of you might not read this and just ignore it if you see a 10 page post.. TIA.
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Comments

  • RedhotOneRedhotOne Member PExer
    That kind of behavior is just as natural as engorging oneself with food in preparation for a period of famine. If it sounds facetious, perhaps it is. hehe :D
  • Ice BurnIce Burn Conflicting Karma ✭✭
    Natural to feel this way but if you really want to do so, don't get married and let your fiancee be with someone else. Someone who has gotten it out of his system and is ready to take on the responsibilities of marriage.
  • kawai_sokawai_so living life w/o regrets... PExer
    i told my girl about this (ok ok, im stupid, but i am also honest)..

    ts..you were not only honest here.. you were also unkind, having said that, I will not discount your feelings for they are valid.. but be fair to your girlfriend and do the right thing. You're only 26, I think youre not ready yet to take it to the next level.. marriage is really a huge deal.. you've got to be prepared mentally, spritually and emotionally... the fact that your having these thoughts is already an indication that youre still incapable of committing to your fiancee for life.
  • badabada Banned by Admin PExer
    naku ts sa sinabi mo mukhang hindi ka pa ready to settle down...parang hindi ka pa sawa sa buhay pagkabinata..think twice before u really sa "i do" kasi hindi lang ikaw ang magiging kawawa, pati nadin yung gf mo kasi lage niyo lang pag aawayan yang issue mo pag mag asawa na kayo..tsk..gudlak po:)
  • darmonxdarmonx Member ✭✭✭
    Yea that's normal TS. Google mo nalang yung Sow your oats for a better explanation para maintindihan mo yung nararamdaman mo.

    Remember the goal: Go wild so you may calm yourself. Pag kasal ka na sarado na.
  • RedhotOneRedhotOne Member PExer
    mtbiker wrote: »
    one of my friends always tell me that, "pare, kita mo ko, happily married, kasi... i was able to to all the things i want to do before i got married. so ikaw? ready ka na ba?" i told my girl about this (ok ok, im stupid, but i am also honest).. so what do you think? is this still normal..

    TS, tanong ko lang... how would you feel if the situation were reversed, or if you and your fiancee both want to fulfill your wild desires with others before getting married? Would you still consider that to be "normal?"

    Have you reached emotional maturity to settle down with just the woman you have proposed marriage to? If not, it would be better to call off the wedding for now and sow your wild oats first... just be careful not to get STD and/or sire illegitimate kids along the way.
  • mtbikermtbiker Member PExer
    Thanks for all the replies.. If the situation was reversed or both of us wanted it to happen..... Uhm, i dont think i can live my life thinkin' that my wife slept with other men and i knew about it all along. Also, is the lack of sex a factor here? We are both workaholic, hardly have the time to have sex. She gave me an option na, we break up muna then after a few months of being single we sit down and talk if we still want to get married. And in those months that we will be apart, its like we never know each other. not a "hi" or a "hello"... i am afraid to lose her, but also i want to live my life a little.
  • darmonxdarmonx Member ✭✭✭
    mtbiker wrote: »
    She gave me an option na, we break up muna then after a few months of being single we sit down and talk if we still want to get married. And in those months that we will be apart, its like we never know each other. not a "hi" or a "hello"... i am afraid to lose her, but also i want to live my life a little.

    Lol.. siya pa nag offer? Consider her gone once you agree to it. Bye bye na pag pumayag ka. kailangan mong pumili ng isa. Kahit ano piliin mo magsisi ka. Piliin mo yung pagsisising kaya mong lunukin.
  • kawai_sokawai_so living life w/o regrets... PExer
    ts, you cant have your cake and eat it too.. you cant do all those things (like have casual sex) and expect your girl to sit idly by. She seems really smart for she is giving you time to "live your life" and later decide what you really want. The reason she doesnt want to communicate with you while you are gallivanting is because she doesnt need to know.. she has to protect herself.. believe it or not, she has feelings too. :rolleyes:

    I dont think the lack of sex between the 2 of you is the real issue here. If it is then you should have sought ways to resolve this..to have time for each other but instead you've been wanting to get it from somebody else. If your willing to risk your relationship for something as petty as to have a fling before settling down then go for it.. it's your life anyway. :hmm: Good luck..!
  • Ice BurnIce Burn Conflicting Karma ✭✭
    Well you should do it if it's so important for you to get it out your system. Then later on don't go on weeping when she finds someone else.

    Happened to a friend of mine. They were together from highschool till they were 25. He broke up with her saying "I want to be single and experience singlehood". She agreed.

    And then some years later, she met someone else and got married. when she was about to get married, her family told him to stay away. He really wanted to see her kasi. But she told him to leave her be. So he did.

    To-date he's still single at 40. He dates women left and right who remind him of his ex but ending it when he gets to know the girl better and finds her personality is different from his ex. Constantly wishing he never let his ex go. Even keeps a picture of his ex on his mantelpiece.

    I once told him, well you can always hope they get divorced (kasi they are both based in the US). He said, if they ever get divorced, I'll be there asking for her hand in marriage the soonest their divorce is final.

    Sad no?

    Pero TS, you wouldn't realize it because you're too busy thinking about loss of freedom and having fun at this point. You'll only realize it once you lose her to someone else.

    Think about it.
  • pushpoppushpop Half crazy. Half mad. ✭✭✭
    Ice Burn wrote: »
    Well you should do it if it's so important for you to get it out your system. Then later on don't go on weeping when she finds someone else.

    Happened to a friend of mine. They were together from highschool till they were 25. He broke up with her saying "I want to be single and experience singlehood". She agreed.

    And then some years later, she met someone else and got married. when she was about to get married, her family told him to stay away. He really wanted to see her kasi. But she told him to leave her be. So he did.

    To-date he's still single at 40. He dates women left and right who remind him of his ex but ending it when he gets to know the girl better and finds her personality is different from his ex. Constantly wishing he never let his ex go. Even keeps a picture of his ex on his mantelpiece.

    I once told him, well you can always hope they get divorced (kasi they are both based in the US). He said, if they ever get divorced, I'll be there asking for her hand in marriage the soonest their divorce is final.

    Sad no?

    Pero TS, you wouldn't realize it because you're too busy thinking about loss of freedom and having fun at this point. You'll only realize it once you lose her to someone else.

    Think about it.

    ouch... ang sakit naman nun :(

    on the other hand, i have this friend, too... he's holding on to an 8-yr relationship kahit he fell out of love na kasi sayang daw yung 8 yrs nila... plus close na sila masyado to each other's families. so he's planning to go through with their wedding next year. di ko din alam ano i-advice ko sa kanya... :confused:
  • rickymrickym Member ✭✭
    pushpop wrote: »
    ouch... ang sakit naman nun :(

    on the other hand, i have this friend, too... he's holding on to an 8-yr relationship kahit he fell out of love na kasi sayang daw yung 8 yrs nila... plus close na sila masyado to each other's families. so he's planning to go through with their wedding next year. di ko din alam ano i-advice ko sa kanya... :confused:

    actually i suspect that a lot of guys fall into this situation. they marry out of hiya.
  • charcancharcan Mkring 和 史蒂芬 PExer
    Please don't marry if your not sure... you will just regret it take it from me...
  • pushpoppushpop Half crazy. Half mad. ✭✭✭
    rickym wrote: »
    actually i suspect that a lot of guys fall into this situation. they marry out of hiya.

    either that or they just dont want to get out of their comfort zone. shempre a new relationship would mean they would have to start over again, get to know the other person's family and friends, new adjustments, etc etc
  • mtbikermtbiker Member PExer
    Ice Burn - that is the one of the saddest stories i have ever read. i dont know if i can handle the guilt and the regret when i was the guy on that exact same situation.

    With her, i am at ease, comfortable, happy.. But i dunno, somethings missing....
  • Mickey2000Mickey2000 TheFoodBlogger ✭✭✭
    wedding jitters lang iyan :glee:

    think about this, eh kung yan din ang ma feel ng fiance mo, she wants to have CS with every guy in town before tying the knot with you so she can enjoy her "singlehood",what do you think? ;)
    Sana lang huwag ka magka AIDS sa mga ka CS mo :D
  • Ice BurnIce Burn Conflicting Karma ✭✭
    mtbiker wrote: »
    Ice Burn - that is the one of the saddest stories i have ever read. i dont know if i can handle the guilt and the regret when i was the guy on that exact same situation.

    With her, i am at ease, comfortable, happy.. But i dunno, somethings missing....

    It's basically wanting your cake and eating it too.

    Don't you think it's unfair that you want to go and have a bit of fun and expect her to wait for you?
  • bondgirlbondgirl my internet persona PExer
    TS, the question is ARE YOU READY na ba talaga? kasi if you are ready you won't be thinking about these things.

    i asked my then fiance kung talaga bang ready na sya magpakasal. i was asking him every day until the wedding day. i told him na pwede pa sya umatras hehehe... but luckily, my husband is really ready na talaga.
  • mtbikermtbiker Member PExer
    @ bondgirl: Define being ready? We might have a different interpretation kasi.

    I dont think i can live my life thinkin' that my wife slept with other men and i knew about it all along.....

    What am i doing with mylife!! i am happy, contented, comfortable.. i though i could not ask for more! but here i am, having these "things" in mind.... Tsk tsk tsk....
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