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Kids Say The Darnest Things!

No, I'm not talking about the TV show (hosted by Bill Cosby)..

Instead, do you have funny experiences involving kids with hilarious retorts/comebacks or things they did? Why not share them here? :D
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  • This happened last year, it was my lola's bday, so may party. Everyone was there, titas, titos, cousins, nephews, etc.

    I had one nephew, named Vincent, he was about 2 yrs old then, and he was getting cranky already (you know how kids are when they get cranky). So iyak siya ng iyak. Nagwawala.

    Then, nilapitan siya ng cousin ko, si Georgia, who was 3 lang. Siguro nainis na si Georgia, so she goes: Wag ka na umiyak. Hindi na bagay sa edad mo ang kinikilos mo!

    :lol:

    and syempre, tinignan lang siya ni Vincent. But he stopped crying naman :D
  • This didn't happen to me, or within my family, instead it was shared to me by a family friend.

    Their whole family were on their way out of town. In the van, along with her were her sisters, nieces, the lola. The lola was seated beside an apo...a 2 year old.

    E nakatulog daw si lola. Mamaya, her mouth was open, habang tulog (napanganga). Ginawa nung kid, nilagyan niyang pacifier ang bibig ni Lola! :lol:
  • Pwede ba napanood ko lang sa TV?

    Well, kwento ko na rin...

    I saw this on AFV (americas funniest video). This boy which i think about 4 or 5 years old, was sitting on SANTA CLAUS'S lap. Santa was asking him something then the boy said "Santa, youre a bad breath"....aray ko! :lol:
  • :lol:

    sige pwede na rin

    parang yung sa Eat Bulaga, dun sa Little Miss Philippines. diba usually ginagago nila Vic Sotto and Joey de Leon yung mga escorts during Q and A portion?

    Vic (or Joey), to the escort: ganda ng barong natin ah...
    Little boy: [email protected][email protected] mo!

    :lol:

  • one time, my preschool students and i were discussing how animals have different sounds. during the game wherein id ask them to make the sound of specific animals i thought id trick them so i asked "what sound do fishes make?!?" it was pretty funny watching them suddenly become quiet and looking stumped. before i could tell them fishes dont make sounds, a student raised his hand and answered "bubble, bubble!!!" hehehehehe ...

    one of my students came in monday morning and immediately told me that her mom bought her a brand new pair of rubber shoes. and after going on and on about how nice it was, i told her to wear it one of these days so i could see it. after 2 minutes she approached me again and suot na nya yung rubber shoes nya! apparently she brought the new pair, including the box with her to school! :)

    kids really are the best co-workers!
  • well heres one

    yung cousin ko (i think mga 5 yrs old)... tinawagan nya mom nya sa office tapos tinatanong nya kung pwede nya hiramin yung isang car kasi may bibilhin daw sya :D:D:D
  • this happened when Georgia was 3 (last year)...

    (Georgia was on the phone with her tita...other side, not ours)

    Tita: ... so ano ang iniinom mong gatas dyan?
    Georgia: hindi po ako umiinom ng gatas. Kape lang po. Kasi
    wala kaming perang pambili ng gatas
    Tita: ... ahhh...

    :lol::D kawawa naman, pero ang cute
  • QuentinQuentin PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    luv this thread :D
  • These happened during our FE(Family Encounter)s:

    I was with my crush, and this kid said in a really loud voice, "Sino sha? Boyfriend mo?" :*)

    Someone, to another little kid:
    someone: where are your parents?
    kid: nasa VIRGIN room.
    (He meant "vigil" room.)

    Yet another little kid, singing the Spice Girls' "Two Become One:"
    "Wanna make love to your baby!"

    :D

  • Yung 21-year old brother ko nung bata pa lang, tinuturuan naming mag-spelling.

    So one day, we were going out of town and travelling in the family car. Medyo traffic and we were behind this Toyota. Tinuro ng nanay ko sa kanya at pina-spell yung "Toyota".

    Sabi niya... "T-O-Y-O-T-A"
    My mom goes... "O ano yon?"
    Sigaw ba naman... "Kotse!"

    :lol:
  • :lol:

    meron pa, kaya lang bastos.

    maya ko na post :D
  • My cousin, Mikey, is eight years old, the son of my Tita Datchie, who is married to a foreigner, Jim, who is not Mikey's dad.

    MIKEY: When I grow up, I wanna be a butler.
    TITA: (mildly shocked) But why?
    MIKEY: They get to drive these really cool cars!
    TITA: (laughs, but is concerned) Wait na lang until you graduate from college. You can have a college degree...
    MIKEY (raises fist into the air with a triumphant smile) ...and then be a butler!

    :lol:

    TITA DATCHIE: (watching TV, points to screen) Look, Mikey, it's an alien.
    MIKEY: But he looks human!
    TITA DATCHIE: Aliens can look human, but they're not. There can be small differences. Like skin color. Eye color. And the way they smell. Anyone can be alien!
    Tito Jim walks into the room.
    MIKEY: (screams) ALIEN!
  • Nasa mall kasama yung 4 year old cousin ko and in one of the store windows, meron kaming nakitang malaking teddy bear. Sigaw ba naman ng pinsan ko, "Ay, gusto ko ng titibear na ganyan kalaki !!!! :D
    Ako yung nag-blush... :*)
  • Originally posted by VaMpeEh
    :lol:

    sige pwede na rin

    parang yung sa Eat Bulaga, dun sa Little Miss Philippines. diba usually ginagago nila Vic Sotto and Joey de Leon yung mga escorts during Q and A portion?

    Vic (or Joey), to the escort: ganda ng barong natin ah...
    Little boy: [email protected][email protected] mo!

    :lol:

    nakakatawa naman ito, sayang hindi ko napanuod!

    :bop:
  • :lol::lol::lol:

    titibearrrrrrrrrr!
  • cmars2cmars2 PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    :lol::lol::lol:
    kakaaliw naman tong thread na to!

    i remember my cousin...he was 2 yrs. old then...yung uso pa 'yung awit na PEKSMAN... kinanta ba naman yung song..here it goes..
    peksman mamatay man
    basta't iyong kagustuhan...
    ...bulaklak para sa iyo
    piso tumpok ang bili ko
    may kasama pang LOKO!

    :lol: tama na sana pero yung last word nagkamali!


    meron pa akong pinsan he's 5 yrs old, kumain kami sa isang restaurant. kami lang dalawa. then yung place is dim kasi pang magsyota ang ambiance. we were eating chicken... then biglang sumigaw ng...
    ano ba tong lugar na to! ang dilim! di ko makita ang kinakain ko! pakibukas nga ng ilaw!
    nanliit ako sa hiya...:*)
  • i hope this thread lasts...sooo funnnee n cute! :D

    spamkin--->luvvvvvvvvsssssss kids subra! :love:

    here's one of my fave stories about my pamangkins...

    i have a niece, 5 years old. her name is nina. my brother and his wife are in the process of having their marriage annulled so nina is kinda caught in between. shez really smart n cute! at 5, she wants to do commercials na, which she can, but since she loves the beach sooooo much, she has a tan. ( i dont think they get get tanned kids 4 commercials..) anyway, that's not my story (i just love making her kwento to my friends coz she really is cute!)

    one day, she was playing with her toys in my room while i was watchin tv. i noticed that she tyring desperately to reach sumthin from her back..i asked her what she was doin, she went up to me with a pouty look and said "my back is itchy...can you CROTCH it?!" i thought i heard wrong, i asked her to repeat what she said. she goes "i said, my back is itchy, can you CROTCH it PLEEEAASE?!" i blurted out laughing for a really long time, she just stood there, giving me a weird look and trying desperately to scratch her mid-back.

    after i calmed down, which was hard to coz she looked so cute n' innocent, i scratched it. while scratching, i taught her how to pronounce the word "SCRATCH" i go "say S-C-R-A-T-C-H." she said "scratch." good. she got it. then she goes "dont stop "CROTCHING!" i taught her the right pronounciation again, she got it. i realized after that she had a hard time pronouncing "scratch" when it was used in a sentence, but when said alone, she had no prob. :lol:
  • i hope this thread lasts...sooo funnnee n cute! :D

    spamkin--->luvvvvvvvvsssssss kids subra! :love:

    here's one of my fave stories about my pamangkins...

    i have a niece, 5 years old. her name is nina. my brother and his wife are in the process of having their marriage annulled so nina is kinda caught in between. shez really smart n cute! at 5, she wants to do commercials na, which she can, but since she loves the beach sooooo much, she has a tan. ( i dont think they get get tanned kids 4 commercials..) anyway, that's not my story (i just love making her kwento to my friends coz she really is cute!)

    one day, she was playing with her toys in my room while i was watchin tv. i noticed that she tyring desperately to reach sumthin from her back..i asked her what she was doin, she went up to me with a pouty look and said "my back is itchy...can you CROTCH it?!" i thought i heard wrong, i asked her to repeat what she said. she goes "i said, my back is itchy, can you CROTCH it PLEEEAASE?!" i blurted out laughing for a really long time, she just stood there, giving me a weird look and trying desperately to scratch her mid-back.

    after i calmed down, which was hard to coz she looked so cute n' innocent, i scratched it. while scratching, i taught her how to pronounce the word "SCRATCH" i go "say S-C-R-A-T-C-H." she said "scratch." good. she got it. then she goes "dont stop "CROTCHING!" i taught her the right pronounciation again, she got it. i realized after that she had a hard time pronouncing "scratch" when it was used in a sentence, but when said alone, she had no prob. :lol:
  • This thread is really funny. :lol:

    Eto nangyari nung BAGUIO gimik sa Small Talk last weekend...

    We were strolling at the Botanical Garden tapos may mga bata. Siguro mga pre-teens na. Nagbibiruan syempre kaming magkakasama at si patch ang napag-tripan. Sabi ni sLaYeR (yata) tatay daw namin si patch.

    Sabi ba naman nung isang binatilyo... "Tatay na pala yan eh, dapat ilibing na!"

    Hayy... tawa kami nang tawa don! :lol:
  • :D at BF


    i have this niece, who's the eldest child of my cousin but he didn't marry the child's mom...anyway, my niece grew up with her mother.....they've kept to telling my niece that her father is already dead....one time, her cousins were teasing her (at age 3) that she doesn't have a daddy anymore...her response??? MERON NAMAN AKONG LOLO, MAY JEEP PA SYA! :D

    another time, since this niece is soo maldita.....she was being scolded by her mom...to which she scoffed at her own mother and said "HMP, DALHIN MO NA LANG NGA AKO SA TATAY KO, DUN NA LANG AKO TITIRA DAHIL INAAPI MO LANG AKO!" syempre pa, her mom got hopping mad!

    one last story.....my friend and i were discussing things and here comes her 5-year old sis who touched her shoulder to call her attention.....in all seriousness, she said "ATE, PAGLAKI KO SANA MATUPAD KO ANG PANGARAP KO!"
    We found it so sweet and my friend made the kid sit on her lap, then asked her what she wants to be when she grows up, to which the child replied....[/i]LABANDERA!!![/i] :D
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