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what to do?

maybe im just a "bobita." i posted last year a thread here about an MA student having an LDR with an 'undergraduate." By the way, thanks for all those who replied.
Update: this guy proposed to me on the phone so many times. before he left, we sort of made a promise that we would we in 2010. but i always turned him down because proposals are not meant to be done on the phone. Also it was a test of his love. afterall, i was planning to really say "yes" pagbalik nia next year.

the guy just broke up with me last week - officially. 2 weeks before the break-up, he asked for space, which i granted. a day after asking for space and assuring me his love & that he would come back for me, he did a lot of changes in his friendster account. the changes caught me off guard since he removed me from his 'featured friends." it now includes his 3 friends + woman whom i hadn't heard before. his stat is still "in a relationship."
i confronted him but he just texted, "wala na tau..yun naman gusto mo talaga madinig, di ba? salamat dahil nagbago ako sa u." i explained my reasons & begged him to retract what he said. but he just said, "tama na. isipin mo na lang i changed dhail may babae ako."
despite the pain, i just assured him that i would wait for him til next year (schedule ng uwi nia). he should have the decency to face me.
after a week, i got a missent message from him (for his brother). he just informed his family that he already has a gf there - his supervisor.
this time, i replied, ive known that since he asked for space. but, again, i told him i would wait 'til next year. imo, that's the decent thing to do.
so the question, ^^ should i still wait for this guy? moving on doesnt entirely mean letting go of the person, right?

Comments

  • mittenmitten Member PExer
    He did all those things deliberately. Out of pain. Of a hurt ego. I can tell that he loves you but you consistently turn him down. For a reason that he didn't know. Men think and act differently from women. Let's just say they are generally less romantic. Besides you're distant from one another. Malay mo di na lang niya mapigilan. That's why he's doing it over the phone. I think you should have told him exactly what you wanted instead of giving a room for misinterpretation. You should also understand. Masakit yun.

    It's not too late though. He's clearly fighting back the feelings by deliberately hurting you. May sound immature but you see, pain sometimes make you do stupid things. If you really want him back, you have to talk to him. Or write him a letter.
  • zelda99zelda99 Member PExer
    i tried so many times...but he rejected my calls. once when he heard my voice, he hanged up on me. :( when he said that he wanted to break up with me, i said "alam mong gustong-gusto ko na ring magpakasal tau pagbalik mo." i apologized for hurting him. but i never said the fact that it was a test.

    i even sent a message asking him to marry me. alam kong pangit ang moment but i felt i had to. kasi gusto ko naman talaga! but he ignored those, of course.

    but now she has a gf already. di muna ako nagte-text kasi baka lalo xang malito. after receiving that missent msg, i thought he really wants me to give him up.
  • JUST_JTJUST_JT Banned by Admin PExer
    zelda99 wrote: »
    so the question, ^^ should i still wait for this guy? moving on doesnt entirely mean letting go of the person, right?

    DON'T BE A FOOL. This guy is HISTORY. It's not your fault he broke up with you but you have to live with it.

    MOVE ON and that means FORGETTING about this guy.

    -Just_JT
    Life.is.too.short.to.wait.
  • mittenmitten Member PExer
    Making you believe that he has a gf already is one of those stupid things that people in pain is doing. I think since kinakain mo na pride mo, itodo mo na. Tell him that it was a test.
    At, sinadya nyang isend sa yo yun. To hurt you. In return. Sinaktan mo kasi siya.
    It will take time. A part of him will refuse to believe your sincerity. That's why, you have to be persistent and consistent. So keep the line of communication open.
  • kreukkreuk amishuuu PExer
    ayan kasi pa test test ka pa! u got what you wanted... the reality. diba nga yun nga naman gusto mo?

    u had to toy with a possibly serious proposal.

    u had to bruise his ego para lang ma prove na love ka na niya but when u find out the truth "based" on your test... you are going to debunk the data u got from your test and disregard it anyway. despite what u found out... ur going to run after him anyway now that u are even more sure he has another woman.

    but of course... rejecting a marriage proposal is not enough for him to "cheat" or replace you.

    so you just have to ask this one question... bakit mo siya hinahabol ngayon? ego bruised or love mo talaga? if you really love him... fight for him perhaps? malay mo ul win him back. if ego bruised ka lang... let him go...he's happy na.
  • zelda99zelda99 Member PExer
    @kreuk: yeah i know...and i really have regrets about the whole thing. anyway, im going after him because i really do lovehim....first boyfriend...first love...i was playing hard to get, i guess. :(
  • yuanyakisyuanyakis Lalakeng Hindi Mapakali PExer
    hahaha buti nga
  • zelda99zelda99 Member PExer
    @yuanyakis: kagulat reaction mo. nway, you're entitled to express whatever you want.

    but im more settled now. mas nakapag-isip na. krung2 lang ako minsan. i have to really accept na he cheated on me kahit ano pa yung mga pinangako nya nun. ginawang scapegoat ang refusal ko, though he knew my stand on this mula pa nung sinagot ko **.

    time will tell if may chance pa kami. i've done my best, imo. i have a clear conscience. this event just showed kung sino talaga kami.

    @mitten: thanks sa payo.
  • infinite_trialinfinite_trial ♥ Drayer PExer
    if that really is his scapegoat, then you deserved it. i think you subjected your guy through a lot of tests and he grew tired of it. una pa lang yung pagiging undergrad nya. if i were the guy, i would feel insecure because you are not even proud of me to introduce to your folks. then you rejected his proposal, probably wanting a grand proposal, and now you suddenly tell him to marry you.

    the guy cannot read your mind, especially you are miles away. even if you did intend to accept his proposal, the fact that you ignored his past proposals is enough to make him lose interest.
  • glenchuyglenchuy metrosexual shopaholic PExer
    and letting go doesn't necessarily mean you've moved on. if you want to wait, wait. but have fun along the way.

    if you find out that he's not worth waiting for after at all. at least you'll have your sanity left intact.
  • kreukkreuk amishuuu PExer
    alam mo TS... if u would like to "test" someone... siguro "ayus" lang yun. ang di ko maget over sa post na to is... nakuha mo yung "result" ng test mo tapos di mo naman pala gagamitin yung result:glee:

    so anu yun???

    for me u weren't testing him. if that was really even a test... u risked everything na eh... ngayon ka pa aatras sa mini-experiment that you are conducting. may hard cold facts ka na... stronger than the "test results" you got... he has told u "i have a gf na" straight from his mouth. :glee: tapos hahabolhabol ka.

    or maybe... ur looking for a more concrete evidence? see the other woman for urself? well u can stalk his friendster account... baka may makita kang picture nagkikiss sila.
  • infinite_trialinfinite_trial ♥ Drayer PExer
    ^ hehe feeling ko gusto ni TS ang grandeng proposal...kaya nya hinihintay yung guy umuwi ng pinas to make a formal proposal and not over the phone. kaso nauntog si guy. ikaw ba naman, dami mong beses nagtanong at nireject, ano iisipin mo? iisipin ko ayaw nya talaga sa akin. she could've said "yes" na lang sana kung gusto nya talaga then magpahiwatig sya kung gusto pa nya ng formal engagement.
  • blue_tracerblue_tracer soundscapes ✭✭✭
    i remember that MA-undergrad thread.. nag post pa yata ako doon. :hiya:

    waah.. tragic love story. but we cant blame the guy.

    'yang klaseng proposal ang madalas iwasan ng iwasan ng mga guys. :hiya: last card na namin yun eh.

    matapang siyang lalaki.. kahit undergrad, nag propose pa rin siya sa iyo. but he got rejected many times.. eh sino naman hindi manghihina niyan..

    puwede sana tinanggap mo yun proposal niya, pero nakipag- negotiate ka lang sa time table. well, nakaraan na..

    bago ka mag conclude na wala na talagang pag asa.. sumubok ka pa rin magpadala ng letter or e-mail. explain mo lahat-lahat.. pag after a month wala ka matanggap na reply.. then that's it. move on na lang.
  • pushpoppushpop Half crazy. Half mad. ✭✭✭
    zelda99 wrote: »
    i tried so many times...but he rejected my calls. once when he heard my voice, he hanged up on me. :( when he said that he wanted to break up with me, i said "alam mong gustong-gusto ko na ring magpakasal tau pagbalik mo." i apologized for hurting him. but i never said the fact that it was a test.

    i even sent a message asking him to marry me. alam kong pangit ang moment but i felt i had to. kasi gusto ko naman talaga! but he ignored those, of course.

    but now she has a gf already. di muna ako nagte-text kasi baka lalo xang malito. after receiving that missent msg, i thought he really wants me to give him up.
    he broke up with you because he found someone else - PLAIN AND SIMPLE.

    No matter what you do, things will never go back to the way they were. Believe me... been there, done that :(
  • kreukkreuk amishuuu PExer
    actually... the TS got a taste of her own medicine perhaps? it's she who didn't pass the test her bf put up on her.

    judging from the way the BF handled the matter, he seemed bitter and fed up. gives me the thought that TS loves to put on tests?????

    like i always say... it wasn't the test perse that turned him off. there's always a way of doing a nasty thing which won't upset another person. u rubbed him the wrong way.
  • kreuk wrote: »
    actually... the TS got a taste of her own medicine perhaps? it's she who didn't pass the test her bf put up on her.

    judging from the way the BF handled the matter, he seemed bitter and fed up. gives me the thought that TS loves to put on tests?????

    like i always say... it wasn't the test perse that turned him off. there's always a way of doing a nasty thing which won't upset another person. u rubbed him the wrong way.

    husay talaga ni ms kreuk..nakaka-turn on :naughty:
  • zelda99zelda99 Member PExer
    guys, update!
    i've learned my lesson. i never wanted a grand "proposal." kahit simpleng luhod ***, ok na ako. ayaw ko lang sa phone.
    nag-uusap na kami. sinimulan ko sa messages & emails. god softened his heart. at least, wala na *** girl/supervisor sa pic. he admitted his mistake. madaming tanong na nasagot. luwag sa dibdib. sabi nga nya, "masyado xang naging atat." of course, nag-apologize ako ng sobra.
    we're taking it slow this time. parang ligawan stage ulit. *weird* but mas ok na 'to, mas naiintindihan na namin ang priorities ng isa't isa.
    we havent discussed *** kasal pagbalik. but he's still dropping hints.
    masaya ako dahil nag"ilove you" na ** ulit.
    pareho kaming nagkamali. cge na, maling-mali na ko. ^ ^
    i really learned my lesson. kaasar lang dahil when we made up, super layo namin sa isa't isa. ^ ^ excited na ako sa pag-uwi nia.

    thanks sa lahat ng nanermon! ^ ^ seryoso ako, thank you! swerte pa rin ako.
  • infinite_trialinfinite_trial ♥ Drayer PExer
    that's nice to hear
  • blue_tracerblue_tracer soundscapes ✭✭✭
    nakow.. kung mahal mo na siya huwag mo na 'yan pakawalan. kailan ka na naman ulit makakahanap ng mamahalin tapos angkop pa na tao para sa iyo?

    tama yan.. lunok ka muna ng pride.. yan isa sa mga ibinabayad nating presyo pag nagmahal na tayo.

    buti 'nabawi' mo si fugie. pag dating niya, ipitin mo na yan ng ano.. :kitty: yun. :lol::lol:


    goodie lak! :)
  • F-A SoldierF-A Soldier Your Personal Jesus PExer
    Wait? **** that, he didn't even 'wait' a second to find a woman and then dump you. Come on, this guy proposed on the phone in a long term relationship and dumped you by text? Waiting is adding shame to the insult. It's a fake shenanigan relationship, move on, you wasted enough time in a pretend relationship.

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