how to overcome the pain of betrayal ?

HELP...

Need your expertise on how will I overcome the deep pain of betrayal. Lately, I learned that my husband has another woman.

As of the moment, I'm in the process of healing. There is so much hatered inside my heart. I don't know how to overcome this. I want to start fresh and move forward for the sake of my family.

My only outlet is crying every night everytime I pray to God. I'm asking for spiritual guidance and strenght for me to overcome this. What I know is that this is very difficult for me.. but I want to overcome this feeling.

Appreciate for your suggestions and advices.
:(

Comments

  • java_chiqjava_chiq oh yeah...retired PExer
    hi TS!

    when your man cheats...it's not the end of the world.
    He's just human, he makes mistakes.

    But it's not really the mistakes and the pain it causes that matters right?

    If you really want opinions...it's better to give us more details
    did he already leave you for this new girl
    to what extent is he cheating? is it a mild fling?
    is he already supporting her financially?
    is it just a rumor?
    does he want to come back to you

    things like that...
  • kreukkreuk amishuuu PExer
    this might help you. love is patient. love is kind. love is forgiving. love is does not seek vengeance. love sets free. love does not asks anything in return.
  • B?t41?B?t41? Banned by Admin PExer
    ciejhey_27 wrote: »
    HELP...

    Need your expertise on how will I overcome the deep pain of betrayal. Lately, I learned that my husband has another woman.

    As of the moment, I'm in the process of healing. There is so much hatered inside my heart. I don't know how to overcome this. I want to start fresh and move forward for the sake of my family.

    My only outlet is crying every night everytime I pray to God. I'm asking for spiritual guidance and strenght for me to overcome this. What I know is that this is very difficult for me.. but I want to overcome this feeling.

    Appreciate for your suggestions and advices.
    :(


    The only way to overcome those pain and bitterness are acceptance. Accept the fact that everyone is prone to cheating. Men and Women. But the problem is you cannot handle it because you don't know the reason why it's happening to you. You're a Nice, Caring, Etc..

    Who told you that being Nice guarantees you a problem-life free? This applies to both men and women. Of course, being Nice guarantees you to the heaven but that's another story.

    Accept the fact that everyone cheats, Life has no guarantee, that's why women cleverly chooses to be manipulative, uncaring, and stubborn in this world because they don't want to be a loser. They want to believe that: "People create their own destiny", When in fact, it is a giant myth that most women buy. We do not create our own destiny, Destiny is destiny. Meaning nakatakda na. Sabi nga ni Jesus Christ, "Maging ang buhok ninyo ay bilang na lahat".
  • patogenicpatogenic Member PExer
    kreuk wrote: »
    this might help you. love is patient. love is kind. love is forgiving. love is does not seek vengeance. love sets free. love does not asks anything in return.
    ahaha.. jan po ako bilib senyo ma'am kreuk... laging positive attitude.
    kaso lang po ala na atang love c ts kc sabe nya >> 'As of the moment, I'm in the process of healing. There is so much hatered inside my heart'... pano po kaya malulunasan ang ganyang dilemma?
  • evil_klownevil_klown beat you in your own game PExer
    how to overcome? sooner or later matatapos din yan sa ayaw at sa gusto mo. question is how fast. no there's no guarantee na it will pass quickly pero try to think of it na you got to move on.
  • nueveghurlnueveghurl alang msmang tnpay skin! PExer
    just leave it to the Lord and ibaling mo sa iba time mo like your friends....
  • nueveghurlnueveghurl alang msmang tnpay skin! PExer
    Sa umpisa masakit....wala **** kcng betrayal na masaya....darating din *** time ng karma nila....stay happy...wag ka patalo sa kanila and dont pity to urself....di *** dapat umikot ang mundo sa kanya....and last but not the least dont be mad or angry at him/her...kc habang dala mo yan sa sarili mo lalo ka *** maawa sa sarili mo...at lalo ka *** masasaktan.....
  • JUST_JTJUST_JT Banned by Admin PExer
    ciejhey_27 wrote: »
    HELP...

    Need your expertise on how will I overcome the deep pain of betrayal. Lately, I learned that my husband has another woman.

    As of the moment, I'm in the process of healing. There is so much hatered inside my heart. I don't know how to overcome this. I want to start fresh and move forward for the sake of my family.

    My only outlet is crying every night everytime I pray to God. I'm asking for spiritual guidance and strenght for me to overcome this. What I know is that this is very difficult for me.. but I want to overcome this feeling.

    Appreciate for your suggestions and advices.
    :(

    Leave the cheat and start a new life without him. If you stay, you will not heal.

    -Just_JT
    Too.bad.there.is.no.divorce.in.'Pinas.
  • kreukkreuk amishuuu PExer
    indeed miss TS... love is patient love is kind love does not seek vengeance love is forgiving. un lang talaga masasabi ko.

    u also have to differentiate hurt and anger. you can confuse the two when you are feeling both. if you are hurt... you have to open that up to your hubby.

    if you are feeling so much hatred... you have to figure out where its coming from. but most likely it is merely coming from a bruised EGO. and it's not to lash out on someone just because of a bruised ego. goodluck miss..........
  • kreukkreuk amishuuu PExer
    TS ur anger against ur husband is really somewhat depressing.

    why oh why hate someone u once loved?! ain't that depressing?! u spent 13 "happy" years with him. im sure that somewhere in those 13 years you can find that vision of him where he had been extremely good/loving to you right?! di parin?! did he do something more than cheat on you like he spent all your money to his mistress. or maybe... he's really totally ignoring you now?!

    ano kaya... baka post partum ek ek na yan?! ano kaya seek ka ng help ng psychologist just to get professional help (hindi naman porket u sought the help of one ibig sabihin krung krung ka na).

    preoccupy urself with lots of positive activities... mag girl's night out ka with your kumare! tapos pagtawanan niyo yung picture ng kirida:love:
  • kilitikiliti Member PExer
    kundi sya sisi at di syabago buhay... iwan sya at ikawa mamuhay
    di sya kasama. masakit pero yan iyo best option. dali!

    bili kayo akyen benta hopia, siopawa at sago.

    kee lee ty
  • RedhotOneRedhotOne Member PExer
    TS, maraming PExers ang nagbibigay ng magandang payo sa'yo pero it would be more helpful to those who want to give you the best advice if you can provide us with additional information regarding your situation. Please answer the questions posed by java_chiq earlier:
    did he already leave you for this new girl?
    to what extent is he cheating? is it a mild fling?
    is he already supporting her financially?
    is it just a rumor?
    does he want to come back to you?

    In the meantime, continue praying to God for guidance and strength, occupy your mind with work, talk to your support group (friends, relatives, counselors, etc.), stay physically and mentally active by doing what you normally enyoy even without your husband (read, watch movies, exercise, shopping, etc.), and don't forget to get tested for STDs and HIV since he could have transmitted to you whatever his other partner has.

    Isa pa, mayroon na ba kayong anak? If so, you will need to consider his/her (their) happiness and security in whatever action you decide to take. Good luck!
  • F-A SoldierF-A Soldier Your Personal Jesus PExer
    Sweetheart, just remember "This too shall pass". Nothing in the world, sufferings included stays, unless you make it. Just make sure you burn everything that remind you of him, and always remember this: there is no tear worth wasting for someone who don't love you...and someone who betrays you don't love you. Everyday is a new day.

    Your problem will be gone, just remind yourself that everyday. And don't sulk go out and exercise it keeps mind occupied. Trust me it work.
  • Wife IssuesWife Issues Member PExer
    Hi!

    To feel pain is human. It is innate to us. To overcome pain it takes time. Time to heal. I recommend that you need divert your attention and effort to something that is not related to your partner, this is one way of alleviating the pain. Hope this helps! Stay strong.
  • maximo24maximo24 Member PExer
    Boom.. ouch

    all emotional pain na mararamdaman ng isang tao eh top ten na ang being broken hearted,

    knowing na wala kang ginawang mali it does make it more worse than the actual feeling itself. sucks big time

    kasi the more you deny it the more na mas dudurogin ang puso mo.. make that a triple pain.

    . lots of question about how, when, who and the big one.... "WHY?". walang difinite answer talaga..

    all you need is time.. dimo mamamadali o maiignore yan, let the pain built a better version of you, suicide is never the soulution (just need to point this out),

    as oppose to the person who said it is by destiny you feel this way.. i respecfully disagree

    we humans are bound to feel pain, either emotional or physical.. I believe we make our own destiny by choice because of freewill given as a gift by THE highest form being our GOD.

    I saw this article online.. and TS ikaw na bahala mag decide kung pano mo iaacept ang pain na yan.

    Free Will Vs Destiny/Fate/Karma
    It’s an age old question which has stumped many.

    Do we have free will or are we held to the ransom of a greater force? Whether it be fate, karma, destiny or kismet, the reason why so many people have difficulty reaching a conclusion is because they think it’s one or the other. The truth is, it doesn’t actually matter.

    People are so determined to find a one dimensional and digestible answer but the difference lies in perception.

    I don’t see it as my job in life to answer the question, I see it to be lived as if nothing is set.

    I live my life as if I have free will but I understand that events arrive to me often without me having any say in them. All I can do is choose how to respond to them. The source of those events really don’t concern me; what concerns me is how I use my power of free will in that moment to override my reaction.


    The trouble with fate is that it can leave you with a feeling of helplessness. I’ve heard people say that they are destined to be broke and to be a loser. Are you someone who thinks like that or do you know of anyone that does?

    If you are, then through the power of choice, you are setting the outcome of your future events more so through your attitude than some predestined power.

    Here’s a two step process by which I look at this whole debate in a way that serves me.

    1. All events are fated in some way. That could be a short term fate relating to decisions recently made or through some higher power and unseen force. I don’t have control over the events.

    2. I have absolute power of my attitude and the way I choose to respond to those events. At all times I have the power right now to decide how I think. I can choose to be grateful and cultivate the attitude of a decision maker.

    There are also people who think that God has a plan for them. I don’t buy into that. Yes I do believe in a higher power but I believe the greatest gift bestowed to me by that higher power is the gift of thinking freely.

    I don’t believe we are accidental beings; we were meant to live life on purpose. I have the gift of free will in world where fate and destiny exist.

    http://www.unlimitedchoice.org/blog/power-of-choice/free-will-vs-destiny-fate-karma/

    Let TIme heal for you, dimo mamadali yan, surround yourself with people who loves and appreciate you (families, friends and chocolates lol). learn to forgive but dont make it a trend sa buhay mo na ok lang. be a better person, the pain sucks (most of us knows this **** feeling). but you are in control of your life., it is how you want to spend your time being depress? or spend it more time worthy of living life with a positive attitude.
  • silvermugsilvermug it's a boredom thing ✭✭
    So sorry but i do not think there is a fix to such pain. You would have to endure it until it goes away. Good thing is that , it definitely will go away. It is just a question of when.

    Cry every night, pray every night... do them all. They are part of the process. You are already healing.

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