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11 Reasons Guys Are Afraid To Commit

The most common guy question I hear from my girl friends is about commitment. I'm a perfect example of the guy who is afraid of commitment, so I figured I could shed some light on why we are afraid to commit:

He Still Wants To Play The Field
Once a guy commits, he will lose the right to date other women. Most guys try to hold on to this right as long as they can, especially when they are not sure what they are looking for.

Girls Grow Up Faster Than Boys

"Committing" means "growing up" to some guys. And a lot of us guys don't want to grow up, or we want to delay the process of growing up as long as possible. Commitment is a sign of maturity, and some guys are simply too immature to commit.

There's Someone Else
It's hard for a guy to commit to one woman if he's got others on his mind-- imagine trying to commit if you had a couple of guys on your mind.

He's Got Other Priorities
In life, it's tough to balance love, family, work, etc. If there are things in his life that demand more attention than his love life, he'll commit to the other stuff and deal with love when he can.

He's Got Baggage/Afraid of Intimacy
We all know my head is messed up from my crazy family, my terrible experiences, and all of my mental downfalls. Maybe he's had a bad experience with a past girlfriend, or he's a child of divorce. Unresolved pain in his past can prevent him from committing.

He's Afraid It Won't Work Out
Committing involves risk. You are essentially taking a plunge, and investing energy in the relationship. Some people feel that it's not worth a try unless it's 100% certain it will work out. But, you can never really be that sure of things, and that unknown keeps some people from committing.

None Of His Friends Have Committed
If you are able to get the first guy of his group of friends to commit, I commend you. Most of us guys want to commit eventually, but we don't want to be the first one, and there is respect among guys for the last single guy in the group.

He's Only In It For The Sex
Sadly, some guys are just out to conquer women. Keep a close eye on things so you're not a victim. Usually, if you have a gut feeling that this is the case, you are right.

He's Still "Selfish"
A few weeks ago, my friend was freaking out via text because his wife scheduled a dinner the night of the Ravens nationally televised Monday Night Football game. He was "extremely jealous" that I planned to lay in my boxers alone watching the Ravens game in HD. Committed relationships are acts of selflessness. We are giving ourselves and our time and energy to one another. I know that I'm still in a selfish period in my life: I'd rather wake up at 10 AM on Sunday and read about The Sex Pistols and Maryland History on Wikipedia instead of waking up at 9 AM and going to brunch with a girlfriend. Some day we all get less selfish with our time, but when that occurs differs for everyone.

He's Not Into You Enough To Commit
Most of the reasons a guy won't commit have to do with the guy. But he may see you as a fun person to date, but never thought of you as someone he'd commit to in the end. It's tough to swallow when this is the situation, but sometimes it's easy to resolve it in your mind this way and move on.

You're Pressuring Him Too Much To Commit
If he's going to commit, let him come to that moment on his own. If you continue to bring it up, he may become bitter and annoyed at the whole thought of it. You'd rather him come to the decision to commit naturally on his own, and not because he was pressured to do so anyway. Just think about how you feel when someone pressures you to commit.

Any combination of these reasons contribute to a guy's reluctance to committing. One of the biggest factors in the success of a relationship is timing. if you're out of synch in a relationship, and with commitment, then you may not be right for one another.

What reasons have you seen in your experience for guys not committing. Do you agree with my reasons?

Link: http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/sex/11-reasons-guys-are-afraid-to-commit-509022/
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Comments

  • rickymrickym PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    a few other reasons:

    1. the guy doesn't want to lead a double life-- good husband and father and at the same time a philanderer.

    2. he's too idealistic, his taste is too high.

    3. he doesn't have enough money to settle down.

    4. he doesn't like responsibility.
  • The KryptonianThe Kryptonian PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    rickym wrote: »

    4. he doesn't like responsibility.

    my main reason. i just don't want to make my life too complicated. *okay*
  • If a guy is rich and goodlooking, I see no reason why needs to commit early in his life.
  • rickymrickym PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    Shakers wrote: »
    If a guy is rich and goodlooking, I see no reason why needs to commit early in his life.

    reminds me of my conversation with my mom. she asked how come our relative who is very eligible is not married yet. i said it's because he is rich that's why he doesn't have to.
  • rickymrickym PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    my main reason. i just don't want to make my life too complicated. *okay*

    specially here in the philippines where you can't get a divorce. and even with kids, if they become pasaway, you just can't leave them. you have to go to court to sue and disown them.

    having no commitment is the best for people who know how to grow old alone or for those who can easily find friends to grow old with.
  • Meanie!!Meanie!! PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    ^ Im slowly coming to that realization. I still picture being a family man, but, say what you wanna say, I dont want to end up married with the wrong person. Its a risky business(great movie btw lol)
  • Guys are not really afraid to commit. We just don't want to commit so early. We have to prepare for it and the preparation takes time.
  • marche1986marche1986 PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    same with girls...we also afraid of commitment.. akala niyo lang kayo lang pero hindi hindeee!!!!! ahahaha... my opinion, pareha lang sa amin mga girls ayaw man din namin ng early commitment. aha but for some, gusto syempre know y? coz habang tumatanda ang mga girls (we must accept that fact) that our value lessen not like sa mga boys as they grew old (wag naman masyado) they become legible bachelors especially if they money po. yan yung sabi ng teacher namin na doc. :) but of course kung may gf na kayo and you love them. wag niyo naman hayaan that they will become menopause before kayo mag propose di na kayo mag ka anak niyan..hehehe PEACE yah! ;)
  • kreukkreuk PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    Meanie!! wrote: »
    ^ Im slowly coming to that realization. I still picture being a family man, but, say what you wanna say, I dont want to end up married with the wrong person. Its a risky business(great movie btw lol)

    no no no!!! keep ur ideals!*okay* men were not created to be alone. he needs a woman to complete him and vice versa!*okay* u just have not found her kaya ganyan outlook mo.:love:

    those who weren't happy being married most likely chose the wrong woman.
  • rickym wrote: »
    specially here in the philippines where you can't get a divorce. and even with kids, if they become pasaway, you just can't leave them. you have to go to court to sue and disown them.

    having no commitment is the best for people who know how to grow old alone or for those who can easily find friends to grow old with.

    If you are rich then it's even harder to commit. Do you trust this woman enough to share your wealth? How can you be sure she's not after your money? It's not a problem if you're making P100k a month. You're not risking much.

    It's also difficult to give up your lifestyle. Rich single guys are used to a certain lifestyle. They go anywhere they want. They buy anything they want. They don't have to explain to the wife or get permission. They can eat pizza every night and toss the box on the sink. They can stagger home at 4am drunk without getting nagged at.

    Rich guys will only get married once they realize they HAVE to get married (35 to 40 years old). They don't marry just because they found "the one".
  • Meanie!!Meanie!! PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    kreuk wrote: »
    no no no!!! keep ur ideals!*okay* men were not created to be alone. he needs a woman to complete him and vice versa!*okay* u just have not found her kaya ganyan outlook mo.:love:

    those who weren't happy being married most likely chose the wrong woman.

    ^ Ok na sana eh, but for the last line. SOme men are still afraid of that. Sabi nga, men are on the losing end when it comes to dealing with emotions...what more pag marriage? Its an emotional rollercoaster.

    Well, God-willing mahanap ko ang right woman for me. I still wanna spread my genes and my surname :lol:
  • just my POV..
    Meanie!! wrote: »
    He Still Wants To Play The Field
    Once a guy commits, he will lose the right to date other women. Most guys try to hold on to this right as long as they can, especially when they are not sure what they are looking for.

    if this is so, how come most guys still date or "have fun" (as they prefer to call it) even if they are married already?? i think guys just use this losing the right to date others or not being able to fool around idea as an excuse/cover-up for their fear of real commitments.
    Meanie!! wrote: »
    Girls Grow Up Faster Than Boys
    "Committing" means "growing up" to some guys. And a lot of us guys don't want to grow up, or we want to delay the process of growing up as long as possible. Commitment is a sign of maturity, and some guys are simply too immature to commit.

    agree.
    Meanie!! wrote: »
    There's Someone Else
    It's hard for a guy to commit to one woman if he's got others on his mind-- imagine trying to commit if you had a couple of guys on your mind.

    i hope all guys would think like this... but how come most guys still commit even with others on their minds? (this applies to a few women as well...)
    Meanie!! wrote: »
    He's Got Other Priorities
    In life, it's tough to balance love, family, work, etc. If there are things in his life that demand more attention than his love life, he'll commit to the other stuff and deal with love when he can.

    he's got other priorities? hmm i think it's more the fear of having someone to add up in his busy list and schedules... and admit it or not, most guys will manage to squeeze in time for their beer buddies than put extra effort to go shopping with his girlfriend.
    Meanie!! wrote: »
    He's Got Baggage/Afraid of Intimacy
    We all know my head is messed up from my crazy family, my terrible experiences, and all of my mental downfalls. Maybe he's had a bad experience with a past girlfriend, or he's a child of divorce. Unresolved pain in his past can prevent him from committing.

    acceptable..
    Meanie!! wrote: »
    He's Afraid It Won't Work Out
    Committing involves risk. You are essentially taking a plunge, and investing energy in the relationship. Some people feel that it's not worth a try unless it's 100% certain it will work out. But, you can never really be that sure of things, and that unknown keeps some people from committing.

    before you can even demand 100% certainty from your relationship with someone, you should be 100% sure of yourself first that you are 100% willing to make it work out; meaning, no flirting with other women, no dating other women, no fooling around with other women, no making-up stories for being late or not showing up, and the most important of all, no telling lies.

    faith is all you ought to have, and some courage to take risks.
    Meanie!! wrote: »
    None Of His Friends Have Committed
    If you are able to get the first guy of his group of friends to commit, I commend you. Most of us guys want to commit eventually, but we don't want to be the first one, and there is respect among guys for the last single guy in the group.

    respect for being the last one to commit? oh really??
    Meanie!! wrote: »
    He's Only In It For The Sex
    Sadly, some guys are just out to conquer women. Keep a close eye on things so you're not a victim. Usually, if you have a gut feeling that this is the case, you are right.

    thanks! our instincts serve us well. :)
    Meanie!! wrote: »
    He's Still "Selfish"
    A few weeks ago, my friend was freaking out via text because his wife scheduled a dinner the night of the Ravens nationally televised Monday Night Football game. He was "extremely jealous" that I planned to lay in my boxers alone watching the Ravens game in HD. Committed relationships are acts of selflessness. We are giving ourselves and our time and energy to one another. I know that I'm still in a selfish period in my life: I'd rather wake up at 10 AM on Sunday and read about The Sex Pistols and Maryland History on Wikipedia instead of waking up at 9 AM and going to brunch with a girlfriend. Some day we all get less selfish with our time, but when that occurs differs for everyone.

    selfish, and sort of a user, sometimes.
    Meanie!! wrote: »
    He's Not Into You Enough To Commit
    Most of the reasons a guy won't commit have to do with the guy. But he may see you as a fun person to date, but never thought of you as someone he'd commit to in the end. It's tough to swallow when this is the situation, but sometimes it's easy to resolve it in your mind this way and move on.

    ... so please stop misleading
    Meanie!! wrote: »
    You're Pressuring Him Too Much To Commit
    If he's going to commit, let him come to that moment on his own. If you continue to bring it up, he may become bitter and annoyed at the whole thought of it. You'd rather him come to the decision to commit naturally on his own, and not because he was pressured to do so anyway. Just think about how you feel when someone pressures you to commit.

    Any combination of these reasons contribute to a guy's reluctance to committing. One of the biggest factors in the success of a relationship is timing. if you're out of synch in a relationship, and with commitment, then you may not be right for one another.

    hmmm no comment
  • rickymrickym PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    Shakers wrote: »
    Rich guys will only get married once they realize they HAVE to get married (35 to 40 years old). They don't marry just because they found "the one".

    of course the men will never admit that, they will of course say "you seem to be right, it's happier being married, i was wrong the whole time". then the woman will admire herself for changing the man.

    that's also the only reason i'm not yet getting a vasectomy, just in case. and just in case i get married, i'm gonna get the youngest one i can get. 3 of my direct grandparents died in their nineties, 1 died in her late eighties. if i get a woman even 20 years younger than me, she just might die before me. if i follow the reasoning of some women which is "get married so someone can take care of you when you're old" then i should get a young one.


    i think men should follow noynoy aquino, he's 49 and his gf is 29. do you know how she looks?

    TV Patrol - Noynoy Aquino and girlfriend Shalani Soledad
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0qf5tJFaG6g&feature=PlayList&p=BE0BB3E99DA0313A&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=42
  • rickymrickym PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    Meanie!! wrote: »
    ^ Ok na sana eh, but for the last line. SOme men are still afraid of that. Sabi nga, men are on the losing end when it comes to dealing with emotions...what more pag marriage? Its an emotional rollercoaster.

    Well, God-willing mahanap ko ang right woman for me. I still wanna spread my genes and my surname :lol:

    get a boyish woman or a former lesbian, with them the 'emotional rollercoaster' is not as bad.
  • rickymrickym PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    Shakers wrote: »
    It's also difficult to give up your lifestyle. Rich single guys are used to a certain lifestyle. They go anywhere they want. They buy anything they want. They don't have to explain to the wife or get permission. They can eat pizza every night and toss the box on the sink. They can stagger home at 4am drunk without getting nagged at.

    and you don't have to be rich to do that. you just have to have time. unlike in first world countries, its so cheap to have a nightlife here in manila.

    i can actually hang out in a japanese restaurant situated in five star hotel for two hours in manila and spend 100 pesos on a coke(that is with tip). in front of me are two beautiful employees who will talk to me, if they are busy they just give me the remote to their t.v. in front of me.

    a few weeks ago i stayed in a yakitori bar/restaurant and watched the finals of 'world cup billiards' with bata reyes and django bustamante and spent only 150 pesos.
  • kreukkreuk PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    mashado naman naaangat ang market value ng mga rich guys:glee: wag kayong mainggit sa kanila. kebs!!! one of my pet peeves... a rich guy na tamad at wala ng ginawa sa time niya kungdi mambabae OR feeling na kayang kunin girl na gusto niya dahil humuhugot ng confidence sa pera niya. ewww ewww:lol:
  • kreukkreuk PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    besides... just because u have quantity doesn't mean u have quality. a rich guy may have many babes... but are they all quality babes?! well siguro most of them are PRETTY. but other than that?! depende na yan sa ibang qualities ng rich guy. it even possible na tingin sa rich guys ay: kaching kaching!$$$$$$$$$

    if i were a rich guy... il eye on a girl (the best girl na mabibingwit ng money and face value ko etc etc). if i feel she's the best in the phils that i can ever get (pretty, socialite, smart)... il give marriage a big go. example: lagdameo and dawn zulueta...

    bakit ko pa palalampasin ang opportunity to get a pretty and intelligent gal for a wife. besides... a girl of this caliber most likely pinagaagawan... if i don't tie the knot... il lose her. diba dapat ganon mentality ng rich guys?! :glee: panu sila yumaman if they don't know how to grab opportunities when they see one... :D:p tsaka na sila isip ng way pano magcheat using again their money.:naughty:
  • ...wakaranai...wakaranai PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    Meanie!! wrote: »
    He Still Wants To Play The Field
    Once a guy commits, he will lose the right to date other women. Most guys try to hold on to this right as long as they can, especially when they are not sure what they are looking for.

    commitment calls for being loyal to the other, that's why many guys fail on this area. even some married men are not committed enough to their wives if this is the basis.
    Girls Grow Up Faster Than Boys
    "Committing" means "growing up" to some guys. And a lot of us guys don't want to grow up, or we want to delay the process of growing up as long as possible. Commitment is a sign of maturity, and some guys are simply too immature to commit.

    experienced this first hand. i dated someone who is of my age, and it ended in disaster. i'm now happy that my bf is older than me, and even more mature.
  • babekuletbabekulet PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    I'd like to sum up
    those reasons mentioned
    above on why men
    are afraid to commit:

    most men are immature.
    inside their mature bodies
    are immature minds.
  • Alpha_GreenAlpha_Green PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    He's Not Into You Enough To Commit
    Most of the reasons a guy won't commit have to do with the guy. But he may see you as a fun person to date, but never thought of you as someone he'd commit to in the end. It's tough to swallow when this is the situation, but sometimes it's easy to resolve it in your mind this way and move on.

    Pwede ring... He's Not Into You anymore To Commit

    Like for example:

    - His fiancee or the girl he's courting suddenly gains weight.

    There are guys out there who aren't scared of commitment and who WANT commitment, some just realize that they made a mistake choosing the girl to have a commitment with because of reasons such as that stated above. It makes the guy scared of what might become of you in the future and therefore be scared of commitment.

    Some girls just mistakenly identify it as fear of commitment or immaturity due to the fact that they can't accept their bfs don't find them physically attractive anymore. I don't call that 'kababawan' by the way, its their bf just being choosy, wanting the best and raising their STANDARDS!

    I think a big part of those reasons falls under this category I quoted. The guy is not really into you....or maybe into you before but NOT ANYMORE! :lol:
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