Need input... about a guy I've never met before pero I like him na talaga

ribbonhood

Hi... I think sa loob-loob ko meron na kong basic understanding sa situation ko pero mahirap pa rin mag-rely sa sarili lang eh kaya I need opinions to reinforce my thoughts saka to have new ideas na rin.

Meron akong guy na na-meet online nung March. Ayun, casual chat lang at hindi consistent yung communication namin. Taga-Mindanao siya, taga-QC naman ako kaya sobrang layo. Around May ko lang talaga sya napansin nung nung nag-away kami nung ex ko... As in the morning after nung drama namin ng ex ko sa kalye at kung saan-saan, siya yung isa sa mga taong nakausap ko. Pero nung nag-usap kami hindi ko masyado binanggit sa kanya yung nangyari the night before or any probs I got with my ex. I mean I didn't go into details. Basta kuwentuhan at kulitan to the max lang. Pinasaya niya ko nung araw na iyon. Simula noon nag-umpisa na kaming mag-usap sa phone everyday at di na naputol yung communication namin hanggang sa naging BF ko na daw siya. Ako kasi di ako naniniwala sa online relationships eh pero nakita ko yung drive niya na maging committed sa relationship namin and to make it work kaya go lang ako!

Dahil kahit papano honest akong tao, kahit ano namang situation mapa-internet yan o totoong buhay, around June nakipag-break ako sa kanya kasi meron akong nagustuhan na guy. Pero wala din nangyari kaya nakipagbalikan ako sa kanya. Actually parang malabo pa nung una kung ano talaga status namin, like pwede ba kami makipag-date sa iba or exclusive kami sa isa't-isa? Pero ayun sinabi niya nga na totoong relasyon toh, ang problema lang talaga di pa kami nagm-meet. Nakita ko naman talaga sa kanya na honest syang tao saka mabait kaya nagkaroon na rin ako ng tiwala sa kanya at hinay-hinay na rin ako sa panga-ngarir ng mga papa. Hehe... Sa totoo lang, the more I meet other guys, the more na nagiging mas intense yung feelings ko for him...

Tapos eto na! Dumarating na kami sa point na gusto na namin talaga ma-meet ang isa't-isa. Wala pa syang pera sa ngayon pero ako meron naman ako naipon na konti kaya naisip ko kahit ako na lang pumunta doon. Na-bakasyon din ako sa training ko kaya parang gusto ko mag-lakwatcha hehe. Ang kaso pa kasi pag siya ang pumunta sa akin, wala siyang matutuluyan. Ibang gastos na naman yung rent ng room or apartment. Pag ako ang nagpunta don, sa bahay nila ako mags-stay. Nung Friday lang punta na dapat ako sa bangko bayaran ko na yung flight ko for Monday (tomorrow) pero ayun nagastos ko kasi the thing is di ako pinayagan ng nanay ko and the thought that I went against her will won't help me sleep at night at parang naisip ko di pa ko ready ma-meet sya.

Kasi sa internet saka sa phone, mas kontrolado mo yung environment saka visually di masyado visible mga imperfection saka topak ng isang tao. Yun kasi pinangangambahan ko, yung rejection from him saka from his friends na rin. Kasi ang dami niyang friends, di rin maiiwasan na-impluwensiyahan yun ng mga opinion nila tungkol sa ken. Baka kasi may iba siyang perspective sa akin at di ko ma-satisfy iyon pag nagkita na kami.

Sa totoo lang din parang gusto ko na tapusin to relasyon namin kasi parang wala ding nangyayari saka lately di na ganon ka-consistent ang communication namin. Sa gabi at madaling araw lang kami nagkakausap online. Minsan sa phone. Pero basta ako na lang most of the time ang gumagawa ng effort na makausap siya, like ako ang magc-call or text. So parang kahit papano kahit I really want him and I really want to see him, nafi-feel ko na di na gaya ng dati. So madami din ako naiisip like siguro meron siya kina-career na girl sa kanila or something. Pero everytime we talk naman binibigay niya sa akin ang undivided attention niya at pinaparamdam niya na love niya ko saka gusto na rin niya ko pumunta don. I really feel something na for this guy. If you were in my shoes, ano po gagawin niyo? Like ano opinyon and advice niyo about me wanting to fly to Mindanao just to meet him? I know this whole thing sounds stupid pero it doesn't sound stupid in my head...

Thanks po.

java_chiq

meet him for the sake of meeting him.

not because you want him or what.

a lottuf people are different in real life.

saveitforlater

Just my 2 cents: I'd rather ask the girl to wait for me to come instead of her initiating the "meet up". It's very ungentleman-like (if there's such a word) to let the girl initiate that move. Or if I can't really fly there to see you, I'd rather cover the expenses you'll spend. Siguro gusto ko yung napaparamdam ko yung sincerity ko towards the person I like (or love per se). But then, I guess I'm off topic na hahaha..ooops.

You have a point that on-line and phone conversations are waaaaaaay different than personal interaction. Infatuation will definitely be prominent to these situations if you're not in front of him. So to simplify this, meet him. It's the best for both of you to realize if you really want(er love) each other.

purpleheadd07

saan sa Mindanao yan?

Zaft Elite

purpleheadd07 wrote: »

saan sa Mindanao yan?

Natawa naman ako sa tanong mo.

Ano akala mo sa lalaki, Abu Sayyaf?.

purpleheadd07

^^ taga Mindanao kasi ako malay mo kilala ko yan o madaling i snipe.

JUST_JT

ribbonhood wrote: »

Like ano opinyon and advice niyo about me wanting to fly to Mindanao just to meet him? I know this whole thing sounds stupid pero it doesn't sound stupid in my head...

Thanks po.

My advice: Go and meet him. You will never know if you never go. If he rocks then you can continue on with your OL relationship. If he sucks, then it's bye bye.

-Just_JT
Simple.as.that.

pushpop

i agree on meeting him, but i think it should be on your turf...

if you go there, you're at a disadvantage - you dont know anybody, you dont know the place, and you'll be staying at his home.

Im not saying he's a criminal or anything, but... what if??? and since you're in an unfamiliar place, which he knows like the back of his hand, he handles all the controls and you're at his mercy.

in the end, it's better to be safe (and wait) than be sorry...

blue_tracer

siyempre nandoon yun concept na dapat siya ang pupunta dahil siya ang lalaki.. etc. pero ok lang naman yun kahit ikaw ang pumunta, sino naman ang puwedeng pumigil kung gusto mo?

pero.. bago ka pumunta, verify mo muna ang ilang mga bagay-bagay: sigurado ka walang asawa itong tao ito? ang real name niya, sa anong paraan mo na verify? malayo ang place, walang nakakakilala sa iyo doon.. papano ang yung safety mo?

kung sure ka na kilalang-kilala mo na siya.. ok go go! fly with cebu pacific!

isa pa.. kung naging 'kayo' na formally.. eh di magkakaroon na kayo ng attachment sa isa't-isa. papano yun.. ilang beses ba kayo magkikita niyan sa isang taon? at bawat kita ninyo, gaano katagal?

semi-long distance relationship ito.. sa ganang akin, kung puwede lang buwan-buwan kayo magkikita.

yun ikaw muna ang gagastos.. eh wala ganyan talaga, base sa situation ninyo.

magkita na kayo para magkaalaman.. tingnan mo kung mas magugustuhan mo siya in person. at makikita mo rin kung naging worth it ba ang pag lipad mo ng few hundred kilometers para kitain siya.

java_chiq

if you're going all the way to mindanao just to see him...DON'T.
lalaki ulo nyan i swear!

If he can't go to Manila. and you do go to Mindanao...make it a real holiday...where you have other destinations to go to aside from just meeting him. So that if he turns up to be really not worth it, atleast your trip is not wasted.

ribbonhood

purpleheadd07 wrote: »

saan sa Mindanao yan?

Sis, taga-Mindanao ka pala?!

Taga-Zamboanga City siya...

Thank you po sa mga comment niyo

pirateking

sus! bakit mo namnapag aaksyahan ng oras i meet yung guy eh hindi mo naman kilala? kung pupunta ka ng mindanao, mas maganda kung out of town trip lang with friends, at kung makita mo sya eh side trip lang.

nakilala mo lang yan nung mga panahon na you needed someone to talk to kaya na attract ka sa kanya. probably nakahanap ka lang ng attention sa katauhan nya. for me its not yet legitimate.
how could you say na serious sya? dahil sa everyday pag tawag nya? oh come on girl everybody can do that. lalo na uso unlimited call. hayaan mo sya pumunta sayo. magkano lang ba naman pamasahe, mag abang sya ng promo sa airliners (piso fair?)

advice ko sayo, DONT GO! porkrayseyk!

purpleheadd07

ribbonhood wrote: »

Sis, taga-Mindanao ka pala?!

Taga-Zamboanga City siya...

Thank you po sa mga comment niyo

hindi po advisable for you to go there by yourself. aside from the security issues, boring dun. baka ta-tumbling ka lang in case di mo pala siya type.

i had a text boylet too when i was way younger (like 10 years ago ) who was from Davao. i had a ticket booked to their place as some side trip before i could catch a bus to my city. buti na lang i changed my mind at the last minute and waited for him to just come and see me instead. it never happened. then we drifted apart. then i found someone else. i don't know what happened to him anymore. oh well, young love, sweet love.

if he can't afford to come visit you here for now chances are he can't afford to settle down and marry you as well. so wag muna. hayaan mo na. let whatever you have flourish and take it from there. pag tumagal at naging strong ang foundation niyo till you could finally meet then well and good. kung hindi eh at least hindi sayang ang pera mo.

java_chiq

oh yeah one more thing...

if it turns out that you don't like him...you go back to manila...life goes on.

but if it turns out that you do really really like him...then what? stay in mindanao for good? smuggle him back to manila?

miss.invisible

DON'T GO.. if he's sincere and very much willing to meet u, then he should look for ways to go to your place.. sa dami ng promo ngayon for plane tickets and stuffs, madali nalang yan e..

i had a relationship before that started that way.. my guy went to my place after 2 years of txtng/chatting/long distance communication.. although its not an assurance, mas mkkita mo kc how sincere the guy is pag siya talaga gumawa ng paraan just to be with you..

sabi nga nila, pag gusto maraming paraan, pag ayaw maraming dahilan..

JUST_JT

If you don't go, curiosity will haunt you. This is the 21st century, women can take charge of opportunities, too....

-Just_JT
Be.assertive.and.all.that.jazz.

blue_tracer

if this guy means nothing to you, you won't put up this thread in the first place.

parang meron 'something' dito eh.. una, di mo pa ganun siya kilala. pangalawa, ang layo niya (puwedeng ma-compromise ang safety mo).. pero kahit papano sumagi pa rin sa isip mo na magpunta doon.

dahil di pa nga niya afford ang plane ticket, nakasalalay na sa pagpunta mo doon ang future ng romance na 'to (kung meron man). kung di ka rin lang pupunta (for some reason), palagay/opinion ko lang ha, wala kang maaasahan masyadong sa online 'relationship' na ito. buti pa, cut na lang habang maaga pa. at sayang ang panahon kung mahuhulog kayo sa isa't-isa pero hirap naman kayo magkita.

kung magkakaroon kayo ng build-up ng personality via electronic means lang.. maraming inaccuracies at mga kasinungalingan ang puwedeng pumasok diyan.. by the time na nagkita na kayo in person, baka ma-disappoint lamang kayo pareho.

sana magkita man lang kayo once or twice.. and see if an OL relationship really works for both of you.


goodie lak!

EAC

I wouldn't want to impose a suggestion on you. The bottomline is, it's still your choice, if your safety is the primary concern for most of the people who have posted here, then take all the precautions you can possibly take, risk is everywhere, pwede kang matamaan ng un-disintegrated meteorite from space sa ulo (which is statistically minute), take the chance if you can (with prudence), never be over-optimistic though, you'll end-up spending more than what you wanted to cough up, disappointed and even sad. Lower your expectations for this one, so the surprise factor is higher (haha) and for the coup d'grace:

Some people go around the world for love
And they may never find what they dream of
What you won't do, do for love

An excerpt from Bobby Caldwell's What You Won't Do For Love

_Zei_Emu_

naku baka abu sayyaf yan joke
ingat sis. i understand you want to meet him but you don't know the risk you are taking here. mindanao is mindanao. i think you're watching the news. i am not judging people in that area but what if?? wala ng safe na place sa panahon ngayon even your own home. if you really want to meet him, i guess magsama ka ng friend mo for security (if may willing magspend ng pamasahe just to accompany you) or better yet meet him halfway like, go to boracay or bohol para di naman masayang effort mo if your meet up wont turn out well. at least nakapasyal ka pa.

just my opinion, you only met this guy online. yes you have a connection on the phone but, you can have that same connection with other people also. make sure na trustworthy enough yung guy for you to take that risk (w/c is instead of him doing so).

still, go if your heart tells you but take precautions when you decide go on that trip.

gangurogirl88

may nagsusucceed ba sa LDR? XD

_Zei_Emu_

^it depends

TS, just don't invest much on someone you haven't met. let him run after you.