Live in Muna or Kasal Agad

Ne0

In Philippines where there is no divorce and annulment is going to cost you a fortune, would you consider living in with your partner first kahit na may anak na kayo or just jump into kasalan band wagon?

The argument i want to established here is why most of the people are tying the knot and sign a lifetime contract that sometimes end up in deep s**t. di ba mas mabuti na magsama muna kayo, and then decide later if you really want to get married? Anyway if magakaanak naman kayo its still consider legitimate and your children can still use your name kahit na di kayo kasal.

razzer_rising

kami ng bf ko nag live in muna because of some complications (he was married and in the process of annulment then) and since my prayers have been answered. the annulment was granted and ill get married next year. gosh living in is an eye opener talaga. makilala mo yung hubby mo and his deepest darkest secrets. at makikita mo if kaya mong magcompromise and masasagot mo talaga ang question "do i really see myself being with this guy for life?". at least if ever hindi ang sagot mo then madaling umalis.

gosh mahirap magpaalam sa parents luckily my parents nasa US so it was easier for me. ngayon naman naiintindihan na nila since ikakasal na nga ako.

one golden rule lang sa live-in: gosh WAG KANG PAPABUNTIS! kasal muna bago anak. consult your doctor for contraceptives. i suggest yung injectable since para long term and you dont have to take it everyday

lark_2007

Live In. If anything happens, I can runaway as easy as hell. But thats the downside also knowing that you can get out easily makes almost every problem a one-"Ayoko Na" away to the resolution.

prEttyNdisTress

In my upbringing and culture, hindi maganda yun Live-In...

First off, I earn my own money and have my own place... when he comes live in w/ me, parang ang pangit sa ego ng guy...

If I go live-in with him, it's like I'm depending on him... I don't have plans yet to cook for him everyday, tend to his every needs na parang wife... Hindi pa naman kami kasal and why should I act like a wife everyday.. It just doesn't make any sense... Also, baka magsawa ako sa daily chores ko and eventually fall out of love...

I believe in a true relationship, both parties need some space until the day when they get married and live in the same house.. that day, I keep my own money and his money is mine to spend...

Ne0

^^ thats the purpose of living in right? to experience the feeling of being married without the binding contract, so if you are saying you may fall out of love by doing the monotonous chores, di mas lalong mahirap naman yun if papakasal kayo then ganun pa rin ang kalalabasan nyo, get bored, fall out of love then separate.

fattyacid

i am not leaning towards contracting marriage with anyone...sa sex umiikot ang extra free time ko.

at kung magka-anak man ako...i will be a responsible father and will definitely secure his/her future.

prEttyNdisTress

Ne0 wrote: »

^^ thats the purpose of living in right? to experience the feeling of being married without the binding contract, so if you are saying you may fall out of love by doing the monotonous chores, di mas lalong mahirap naman yun if papakasal kayo then ganun pa rin ang kalalabasan nyo, get bored, fall out of love then separate.

Iba kasi pag kasal na....what I'm trying to say here is that when I'm married, I know eventually what are my chores and responsibilities. But as Sinlge, I really don't want to do those responsibilities and then regret later on that I was not able to enjoy my singlehood.

Being single and in a relationship is good. I can cook, clean and know how to wash my clothes. But, I prefer to enjoy my single life muna... The problem with living -in is that most of the time, it's like magasawa na kayo eh... nakatali ka na sa isa't isa... Read the Dilemma thread, dami dyan nagaangal about living-in...

My boyfriend can come to my house often and I can cook for him. He can sleep over and we can have a good sex once in a while...also I can go to his place and he'll do the cooking and we can dirty his bed... Mas thrill kasi ganun...

That is the reason why we have to start with pre-school, then elementary, then high school, college and what you learned in school you bring it to your work or career. You can't jump into college without finishing your secondary school, diba?

Ganun kasi life...take one step at a time... There is always a time to be a kid, a teenager, an adult and then marriage.. Don't jump into something right away and later on regret for missing a lot in your life... Mahirap na yun after 20 years of marriage, and you're 40 yrs old and wanted to go back to what those 20+ yrs old people are doing....

You'll be living an unhappy life and it will also affect your spouse and children...

JUST_JT

prEttyNdisTress wrote: »

Being single and in a relationship is good. I can cook, clean and know how to wash my clothes. But, I prefer to enjoy my single life muna...

You're not ready for a commitment yet....

-Just_JT
Being.single.is.not.a.disease.so.noone.should.rush.

razzer_rising

prettyndistress, gosh i think youre on the wrong thread. just jt is right, you are not ready for a commitment yet. and living-in is a commitment just as getting married. so its totally different from singlehood. prettyndistress, gosh your clear option is singlehood. the thread's options are live in or marriage.

prEttyNdisTress

razzer_rising wrote: »

prettyndistress, gosh i think youre on the wrong thread. just jt is right, you are not ready for a commitment yet. and living-in is a commitment just as getting married. so its totally different from singlehood. prettyndistress, gosh your clear option is singlehood. the thread's options are live in or marriage.

ok.. so medyo napalayo yun topic....

Ok... If choosing between the 2 (Live-In or Marriage) I will choose marriage... Kasi nga, single pa rin kayo when living-in together.. Ano nga purpose ng Live-In? Commitment ba? you can have commitment once you're in a relationship.

I can commit to my bf that I love him... "respect" is also part of the commitment.

Ewan ko nga naman kung ano napapasok sa mga utak ng mga tao ngayon... You think by living-in, proves that you guys loves each other. You think it's a commitment? I find couples "Living-in" are merely trying to escape marriage...In case, one day one of them (most of the time the guy) will find an easy way to escape the relationship.

tanauanwoman

marriage ok din but di naman kelangang magma dali, live in ***** mas ok kc dun nio malalaman kung ganu ba talaga kayo katibay,maraming nagpapakasal agad pero n a year or so hiwalay din,as long as ok samahan nio bilang live in partner lewl parin yan hehehehe.practical na ngayon noh

tanauanwoman

ganito nalang depende na siguro sa sitwasyon ng magkarelasyon,

Lovely Face

kasal gusto ko...sabihin ninyo mang oldfashioned ako pero yan ang gusto ko.

kensamor

Kung mas gusto mo muna mag live-in bago pakasal, hint lang yon na hindi ka pa ready mag-asawa. Kasi niloloko mo lang sarili mo. Malaking commitment ang pag-aasawa and if you are not ready to do it, don't force yourself.

zippylemon

ako syempre sa kasalan na agad.....10years contract renewable hehehe sana nga may ganun na. andami na sigurong papakasal kagad at wala nang live-in

placid_08

If I were to make a choice, I would choose to get married. For me, those people, who are living in, are not really ready for commitment yet. Kung ready ka na talaga, bakit mo pa iisipin na baka you weren't really meant for each other kaya baka maghiwalay din naman, baka magkaroon pa ng maraming problema, etc. Parang ginawa niyo lang simulation 'yung pagsasama niyo. If you're not ready yet, neither choose to get married nor to live in with each other.

Well, this idea doesn't include those couples who are forced to live in because of some "technical problems". I mean, 'yung may mga papers pa na dapat ayusin, kulang pa ang budget, and all that kasi plano niyo na naman talaga magpakasal 'di ba?

confused16

noong una sabi ko kasal, pero ngayon i think mas practical talaga kung live in muna. para makilala nyo yung isa't isa. mahirap kasi kung kasal agad tapos yung ending nyo di pala kayo magkasundo nung partner mo. pano na? hirap ng annulment sa pinas... hindi lang yung process pati yung gastos.

hooney

kasal, kase nag work sa akin, conservative si husband eh, 3 months of courtship then we got married, and now 10 years and counting pa

stein

there's no problem with live-in before kasal (or shall we say that there's no hard rule in life/love)

in my case, 3 months after we met, live-in kame ni wifey agad.
then after 6 months of "live-in", kasalan na.....and now very very very happpppy family!

and our sex life, wow! still hot despite 16 years na kame.....3x a week pa rin

here's our whirlwind romance love story:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNtxmUBg8XI

metroschifter

Part of being totally committed to someone is the act of marriage. That's the final straw. The completion of your commitment to your partner.

You can't say to yourself that you're committed to your partner when you're in a trial marriage (live-in). You know for a fact that you can easily detach from the relationship which by theory would mean a non-committal situation.

If you really really love your partner and you care for that person, then culminate that relationship by entering into a matrimony. You'll be doing yourself and your partner a big favor. Don't waste your time or your partner's in live-in relationships.

metroschifter

Ne0 wrote: »

di ba mas mabuti na magsama muna kayo, and then decide later if you really want to get married?

Di ba mas mabuti na wag muna kayo magsama then decide later if you really want to get married?

What's the rush? What's wrong with being in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship?