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i badly need ur opinions, guys

hi guys,

ask ko lang po opinions ninyo about my situation. kuwento ko lang po konting background para mas lalong maintindihan. i hav a gf, lets call her gracelle, and bago lang kami, mag one month pa lang ***. but kahit one month pa lang ***, madami na kami napag usapan, madami na din future plans. and i was planning a lot of things to make our first month a very moemorable one. we were always in communication, by text, calls and hang out once a week. it was reli a great feeling to have sumbody to share my life with. the feeling is indescribable. she is living on one house with her lolo and lola and she takes care of her niece. she's 24 pala and im 28. just last week, she practically was not texting or magreply sya but konting konti na lang. two nights ago, she told she wanted enought time and space. last week, her 75 year old lolo was diagnosed to have lung cancer and she told me that she will not have any more time for me because it will all be spent to her lolo who needs a lot of attention, to her lola and to her niece. she said that she doesnt want to be unfair to me because "im such a good person" churva and that she thought about this and prayed for this and this is the best decision she came up with. i certainly feel her situation but what i can not understand are these. bakit ayaw nya tulungan ko sya at this trying moment of her life?

im her bf and she would need a person to comfort her, and im willing to give it to her. im not even demanding a lot of her time. kahit a few text lang a day, ok na sakin. and i would go out of my way pa to reach out to her. im thinking that she thought i might not be worthy to be at her side at this difficult phase of her life. after her text 2 nights ago, she wasnt replying na but the SIM is till active. but i still keep on texting her 3 text/day lang to inform her that im still here for her and kahit sa text lang maramdaman nya presence ko. im thinking to come over to her place this sunday and bring fruits to her lolo and talk to her about her decision and what could be our possible options. guys, do u think this is a wise decision? i know that this relationship could still work. i reli love her and i can compromise the time that were going to spend, impt im at her side.

im kinda confused right now. il wait for any comments. its okay if u want to be brutally honest. any inputs or opinions will be greatly appreciated. TIA

Comments

  • TS, your ex-girlfriend is going through a lot of emotional problems and I think it would be better if you could back-off (not necessarily forever but for the meantime). If you really love her just like what you said in your post you can manage to wait until things have been settled or at least okay. She has a lot of responsibilities right now and being there as another "liability" (im her bf and she would need a person to comfort her, and im willing to give it to her. im not even demanding a lot of her time. kahit a few text lang a day, ok na sakin. and i would go out of my way pa to reach out to her.) It seems little but for a girl who's in a deep dilemma it's something that would take time too. Besides, being in a relationship is a give and take cycle; it needs two people to tango. Meaning, love is not enough no matter how strong it is.


    sabi nga "we had the right love at the wrong time"

    But if the situation is okay and things are going smooth already yet she still insists the “lets-just-be-friends na lang” it only means that she's not really into you.
  • i guess your idea of coming over to her place and bring some fruits would be fine. pero don't force her to talk about your situation. respect mo na lang muna yung decision n'ya but still be there for her. ikaw na nga lang makakapagsabi kung until when. at least hindi ka ganun kadaling nag-give up.
  • baka ayaw nya maging unfair sayo. maybe it's best if you would just be a good friend to her kahit hanggang makalipas lang ang time na feeling nya sobrang kailangan sya ng family nya.
  • JUST_JTJUST_JT PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    baskog26 wrote: »
    last week, her 75 year old lolo was diagnosed to have lung cancer and she told me that she will not have any more time for me because it will all be spent to her lolo who needs a lot of attention, to her lola and to her niece.

    Hijo,

    Kung ako ikaw, pagkakataon ko na itong PUMAPEL sa familia niya. Mga ilang magagawa ko:
    • Samahan ko si lolo sa chemotherapy. Ipagmaneho ko si lolo
    • Samahan ko si lola o ang pamangkin habang sinasamahan ni gf si lolo sa chemotherapy.
    • Ilang taon na ba si pamangkin? Kung bata pa, ilabas ko o dalhin ko sa amusement park para malibang habang inaasikaso si lolo.
    Sa madaling sabi, ipakita mo na hindi ka lang FAIR-WEATHER BF. Maski sa mga "MABAGYONG" pagkakataon naroon ka pa rin.
    Pumapel ka rin doon sa pinagkakaabalahan ni gf, hindi lang sa inyong BADUY na LOVEY-DOVEY.

    Are you up for the challenge o aatras ka na?

    -Just_JT
    Pumapel.ka.sa.familia.niya.para.bumango.ka.
  • While I agree with those who say that her intent is to be fair with you, some measure of honesty and truthfulness is helpful.

    You need to tactfully request some honesty on her part.

    Is she using this family emergency as an excuse to break off or does she really mean what she says - that she only wants to be fair with you ?

    You should reiterate your desire to be at her side during these trying times and to work things out rather than break-off the relationship.
  • :)keep us posted kung anu nangyari ha..
  • blue_tracerblue_tracer PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    my suggestion is to do nothing. it's good not to give up this early but while waiting for her next phone call/text make yourself busy with things. things you used to do before you met her.

    if she reaches out, fine. if she doesnt reach out, also fine.

    she may be facing some challenges in her life at the moment but it doesnt mean it would work better having you around. having said that doesnt make you a bad person/bf. it's just that there are times when one would prefer to be simply left alone just as when a sniper would want a complete silence when aiming for a shot.

    if you really love her then give her what she wants. just wait.. relax and enjoy your life.
  • well bagong bago plang ang relationship nio ha. Well, it's fine na dumalaw ka this sunday sa house nila.pero txt mo muna sia para lang malaman nia na darating ka, pero it's not yet the right time to talk about the status of your relationship. of course stressed pa siya sa mga nagyari. and ,as for her decision na she wanted enough time and space, then so be it.. give her what she wanted. ang ibig sabihin lang naman nun eh ayaw nia muna this time mag karon ng "bf/gf relationship". siguro iniisip nia na yun nga, unfair sayo kase she'll spend less time with you etc. so i guess the best thing you can do sa ngayon is just to be there for her and continue lang sa pagging nice person mo towards her although malabo ang status ng relationship nio..as you've said, the important thing is you're at her
  • guys,

    tnx to all who gave their sincere advices. i reli appreciate it. she's still not replying. and im not that persistent, one text a day na lang, just to let her know im still here to support here. im respecting her decision. im not forcing the issue of having a relationship to her. i certainly understand her situation and im willing to give her the space that she needs.

    BUT i will still go to her place this sunday, just to visit her and her lolo and to know her family.her pamangkin is 2 years old pa lang (we used to buy toys for him while were dating). il try my best na tulungan siya pero hindi ako sigurado kung mag agree sya dito (kasi gusto nya ng space).

    about the honesty thing, i trust my gf. il try to be a good friend muna, know her family better and whatever happens, i give it all up to my Almighty God.

    il keep u all posted, guys, tnx ulit. for those na may mga karanasan about this kind of situation, help naman by posting your opinions. TIA
  • ^^ baka naman kasi nasasakal na siya or attached siya sa grandparents niya, baka na kokonsensya siya na baka hindi niya na maalagaan lolo niya :)
  • Maganda plano ni Just_JT walang palya yon. Nagawa ko na yon. Pasok na pasok.
  • her situation is quite complicated and as a good apo she opted to focus her attention to them. and since she will not have time for you, she was honest enough to tell you early on.

    if you are up to the challenge as what JUST_JT asked, you can do his suggestions AND EXPECT NOTHING IN RETURN. what do i mean with this? when you ask her out and she says no, when she don't text or reply you, when she sometimes irritable all of these you must accept without bitterness. if your girl is sensible enough she will see all your effort and she'll realize that with you she has someone whom she can share her everything.
  • your girlfriend already found you as boring.

    she doesn't love you anymore.

    she may have not loved you at all too.

    mashado ka kasing jumpy, happy, and perky that you have found the best girl for you... without her allowing to invest so much in the relationship.

    yan tuloy, siguro she thinks she has you already. thus, the less frequent calls, the less frequent texts... you don't seem to be "man" enough for her.
  • i agree with JUST_JT's idea..

    ikaw na lang magset ng limit sa sarili mo kung hanggang san yung ibibigay mo. baka naman din kasi bigay ka ng bigay in the end ikaaw ang mawalan..
  • JUST_JT:

    i'm up for your challenge. and i'm gonna start it tomorrow. yahoo!
    i'm reli optimistic about this. with my work-study sked, this is kinda tough but i'l do *** i can to help her, but i'l not push it.

    to all those who gave their advice, they are all very helpful. pls keep them coming. i'l post updates. a million thanks to all
  • hmmm... ano na kayang nagyari sa isang ito. hope it turned out well..
  • its almost a week and i apologize i wasnt able to update u guys, as i promised. it did not turn out well, i ws expecting the worst to happen naman, so i prepared myself for it. but at least, she talked to me. this is what happened 5 days ago:

    i came to her place around 3pm (i still have a job in the morning), its 2 cities away from us. bought fruits and pasalubong to her niece and her family. paimpress kumbaga, coz this could be the last time that il be seeing her and her family. last impression kumbaga lasts. she wasnt there when i arrived on their house and his father was the one who accompanied me getting inside their balkonahe. she wasnt there coz she went to a clinic pala with her tita and niece. then, she arrived, told me that she was having bronchitis due to sleepless nights taking care of her lolo, paos pa nga ang voice nya. naawa naman ako sa kanya. i gave her my gifts, a white rosary and a letter. i did not force our issue, i just said that im willing to wait for her, until ready na sya ulit. she wasnt answering. i asked if i can come to her place, as a friend to visit her lolo but her lolo doesnt want to be seen daw. i tried to ask if i can come inside so i would see her lolo, ayaw nya and magagalit daw lolo nya. so, i respected her, as i always do. for one last time, i asked her if she has any little traces of love left for me, she said, "i dont know." all these pala, i just wrote to my cellphone, and show d text messages to her coz papa and tita nya were just near us. her family does not know about "us" coz bago pa nga lang kami. (she had plans of formally introducing me to her family ***** dec pa.) it was just an hour of meeting her coz she said she really was very tired, and wanted to take a nap. hinatid pa nya ako sa labas, then for one last time, i asked her again, "pwede ba kita hintayin? i said to her, "im just here if u need a lift and i can carry some of your burdens." i saw tears in her eyes, and she replied, "wala na talaga ako time mag-intindi sa ibang tao." we said short goodbyes to each other, after a few seconds, talikod na sya. i went home with a heavy heart. she was replying na to my text on my way home. she texted that ayaw daw nya mag paasa ng tao, ayaw na daw nya pumunta aku ng bahay nila, and nagpasalamat sya about sa letter. pagdating ko ng bahay, my mother informed me that my lolo died due to cardiac arrest. ouch! dobleng sakit yun ah. the following day, i informed her thru text about the death of my closest lolo but she wasnt replying. so, mahirap talaga ang ganitong set-up, expecting nothing in return. that day, i decided that i have to love myself more, be gentle with myself, move on, dream more and live life. mahirap na masakit but im trying to focus on my job and to my technical certifications. talking about certification, i hav to study na pala and nid to kip myself busy. thanks to all who gave their honest opinions. tnx po sa lahat.
  • ^^ owww tsk but you know what, thats life eh. eka nga.. i suspect

    that your gf is somewhat depressed sa mga nangyayari sa kanya.

    and thats why nakipaghiwalay sya.

    with your case i guess this is a good opportunity for you to focus

    on your work and certifications. you have to keep yourself busy lalo

    na wala na din pala ang lolo mo.
  • condolence baskog26...

    that day, i decided that i have to love myself more, be gentle with myself, move on, dream more and live life. mahirap na masakit but im trying to focus on my job and to my technical certifications. talking about certification, i hav to study na pala and nid to kip myself busy.

    things like this makes you stronger.

    godspeed..
  • JUST_JTJUST_JT PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    baskog26 wrote: »
    i saw tears in her eyes, and she replied, "wala na talaga ako time mag-intindi sa ibang tao."

    There you go... that's a clear sign that you two can't be together anymore.

    Lesson in life: you can't force people to love you or be with you.

    It's time to breakup and move on. Huwag ka nang magpakita roon at bahala na siya sa buhay niya.

    Life can't be any simpler than that.

    -Just_JT
    Hanap.ka.ng.iba.na.naghahanap.din.ng.pag-ibig
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