Home PEx Relationships Love - Dilemmas

quite long and confusing but please give it a try

I never thought i'll end up here but whatever. Here's my dilemma.


I used to have 3 boyfriends at the same time.
BF 1: he's my long time boyfriend. We've been together for two years and the last year have been somewhat ROCKY yet we stood still. He had sex with other girls and so did i but with boys of course. (I did it with other guys because i want to prove to him that he can't beat me or something like that. I don't want to get left behind) whenever he had done something which is wrong I will do the same just to get even. yes, im such a loser. I already stopped but he's still doing it until now. (so tell me, can i still consider him as my bf?)

we barely see each other but when we do; we still kiss, hug and say sweet nothings to each other like nothing is wrong.

the sum it up: our relationship isn't normal. I know this is really beyond impossible but it seems that we can't just let go of each other.
I don't think I'm in love with him anymore but its like we're soul mates.. yeah right. who am i kidding. but really, i can stomach the fact that hes having sex with other girls but letting him go feels likes beyond impossible. I keep on coming back and so he does. its like im his fallback girl and he is my fallback boy.

don't get me wrong. WE'RE NOT FUBUS because we didn't have sex for like what? 6 months? but he's doing it with other girls. and the problem is I can't make myself jealous maybe because I already considered it normal in our relationship.

BF 2: or should i say ex bf 2.
He's my childhood friend, whenever bf1 has done it again he's always there. I told him that my relationship with bf1 is vague and beyond repair. One time he asked me to go to mall and i never knew he had a crush on me. He said he miss to have a girlfriend and someone to held hands with. Because of my stupidty and kalandian I seduced him. HE SHOWED SIGNS THAT HE LIKES AND WANTS ME.
I was never fond of playing mind games so i bluntly asked him if he wants to have an affair, yeha FUBU. we did it once but after that he started to court me. he fell in love with me na daw.
I said yes but the problem is i cant love him back so I broke up with him but he keeps on hoping. One day, i said i was out with BF1 then he said that I'm a user. All my friends hated me for that, yeah right i know. i dont have friends anymore and its my fault but i dont really care. What i want is his forgiveness, GUYS, HOW CAN I POSSIBLY REGAIN THE FRIENDSHIP? yun lang talaga because i feel guilty.:depressed:

and lastly, BF3

I said that im not inlove with boyfriend 1 anymore but i cant let him go.
hmmm boyfriend 3 is the one who holds my heart. its been a while since he left but im still waiting. he said he loves me but he doesn't show it.

Guys, do you think i should wait? or get rid of him and start anew with boyfriend 1? is there something wrong with me?
feeling ko masydo lang akong flirt e. oo yun nga ata :C hay...

Comments

  • haha sarap niyan ah. pwede ba akong maging BF 4? :)
  • Gurl,

    What you feel for BF1, is panghihinayang lang.. Since matagl kayo nagkasama, parang hinahanap hanap mo **.. Try mo na mapalayo sa kanya ng medyo matagl, if you missed him, can't sleep without thinking of him or wants to call him.. Then it must be love.. But then again, you should let him go.. Based on your story, wala na xang pagmamahal sayo.. sad to say baka lust lang.. if di available *** ibanyang gurls, ikaw naman.. Better yet, kalimutan mo na **.. Then time to explain your self kay BF2.. be honest, tell him that you have a BF3 and it seems na ** ang mahal mo.. Humingi ka ng sign sa Kanya kung cnu ba talaga ang para sayo.. It's too early to decide.. If you really feel something for BF3 go for.. Sometimes, *** pinapadama is nabubulagan ka sa sinasabi at sa mga experience mo..
  • Sounds like you really don't know what you're looking for. You compromise too much in terms of the qualities you're looking for in a guy - one compromise led to another and then you find yourself in a situation where you would settle for anything and jump again to a new relationship to satisfy what the other guys lack.

    If I may ask, how much do you respect yourself? This greatly affects the quality of relationship you have with others.

    Kay BF1, the first compromise you did was going down to his level; the fact that he had been cheating on you it didn't give you the right to cheat as well - it doesn't make you any better than him. He has shown a history of cheating and it's very likely that he will continue on cheating you no matter what. Is this what you're looking for in a relationship? Perhaps you should ask yourself if you deserve to be treated like that.

    BF2 on the other hand, it was quite unfair for him if in the beginning he was misled to believe that the relationship is going somewhere aside from being FBs. Was that the case? Otherwise, then he's at fault.

    I'm just curious, you mentioned you "can't love him back" -- why so? Hindi ba pag mag-BF/GF kayo, you come to a mutual understanding that you both love each other? If you can't love him back then why did you consider him as a BF? Would you consider that as an act of deceit? Did BF2 deserve to be deceived? If he was deceived, isn't that breaking his trust? Trust is one of the foundations of relationships, when this is destroyed the relationship crumbles down -- regaining someone's trust can be a nearly impossible undertaking. I'm not so sure how you can regain his friendship but of course expressing your regret and remorse is the first step towards healing. If he accepts, well and good. Otherwise it's just life's way of saying "I'm holding you accountable for what you did by losing a friend." Losing a friend makes the world a little bit colder; losing friends is an entirely different story. Friends are like family: they're after your well-being, they stick with your through thick and thin, they're simply there whatever happens to you, ready to guide you and give you advise when you're confused and lost, to enjoy the good times with you and to cry with you in bad times, to reach out their hand to you whenever you fall down so that you can stand up once more. They're a gift to be valued. They're not meant to be stepped on or taken advantage of. Your friends reacted that way because you did something that a friend isn't supposed to do and it has offended them intentionally or unintentionally. To not care losing them is disturbing to say the least.

    As for BF3, there could be two things -- 1.) he can't show his love as you mentioned maybe because he's held back by the fact that you're being held back by your feelings towards BF1. He's only reciprocating what you're giving him. or 2.) he really isn't too expressive; what kinds of expression do you expect from him anyway?

    As a closing remark, again, I implore you to reflect on the following:
    1.) what do you really want in a relationship? Stop compromising.
    2.) how would you want to be treated? Know your worth, respect yourself.
    3.) how can you be a better partner? Treat your partner the same way you want to be treated. What goes around, comes around. Treat others crappily, you'll be treated like crap; value others and you will be valued.

    Hope this helps. :)
  • uhm.... start anew na lang po... with a new bf 4.
    yun lang po opinion ko.... ehehe :bungi:
  • mcsteamy17mcsteamy17 PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    ...uuumMM... ...isa isa lang... ...oooOOHHH... ...threesome...

    ...tatlo nakapasok... ...aaaAAAHHH... ...masakiiiiiiitttt...

    ...isa isa lang... ...ipasok mo isa lang... ...sige baby... put it iiiinnnNN...

    ...mas masarap kung itutok mo isa lang... buong buo... aaaAAHHH...:dizzy:
  • bago ang lahat gusto ko muna bumati.. binabati ko yung mga friends ko. kumusta na kayo? may ulam pa diyan? dito may isang hectar ng palay.

    back to topic.
    you need to learn respect to yourself first. stay when your happy, leave when your not.
  • csmarycsmary PEx Rookie ⭐
    ^^ original and funny. :lol: LoL
  • darmonxdarmonx PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    yea it's confusing. i'll give this a try. first, i think you need to settle yourself. bf1 is your safe choice. bf2 was just a toy (kawawa naman) and bf3 is the one you want but does he want you just as much? at some point you may have to sit back and re-evaluate your choices and more importantly yourself. i'd consider having revenge sex once as acceptable. but having revenge sex as often as you have described and against the same guy is pretty messed up. usually it's revenge sex, break up and move on, not rs, make up, rs, make up... wow. try life without a bf for a while and get to know yourself. maybe that might help you re focus yout priorities in this lifetime.
  • kelangan mo mag isip mabuti at gunagunahin kung ano ba talaga ang nararamdaman.. be yourself
  • gosh dami boys ni ate
  • ^Hehehe. Oo nga ako. Apply sana akong BF4.

    Kidding aside, dun ako kay BF1. Pakiramdam ko kasi sa post mo eh sya talaga ang mahal mo (although naguluhan ako sa sinabi mong BF3 holds your heart) kaso dahil wala ka naman masyadong knwento tungkol sa kanya, kay BF1 ka na lang. Haha. Madalas kasi, pag ganyang pabalik-balik kayo sa isa't-isa eh kayo talaga. Kasi nagkakapatawaran din kayo eh. Konting adjustment at compromising na lang magiging okay din kayo. Hindi rin naman abnormal yung hindi ka nagseselos. Marami akong kilalang ganyan pero alam kong mahal naman talaga nila. Basta alam mong ikaw ang mahal kahit kanino makipags*x, kampante pa rin. Although mali nga lang pero yang extra affairs nyo eh part pa lang siguro ng kabataan. Eventually it will end.

    Kay BF2, wag mo na munang asahan yung friendship. Mali yung ginawa mo eh. Darating at darating din yan tutal may pinagsamahan naman kayo. Pero siguro, iparating mo pa rin sa kanya na nagsisisi ka at gusto mong mamaintain yung friendship nyo (minus the "benefits") at alam mong it will take time kaya maghihintay ka para alam nyang may effort ka. Pag okay na sya, eh sya na ang lalapit sayo para ibalik yung friendship. Pag ayaw pa rin, eh hayaan mo na. Wag ipilit.

    Yung BF3, baka naman longing ka lang sa normal relationship kaya ka naeexcite dito. Wag mo nang hintayin.

    PINAKASOLUSYON: Start anew with BF1 at limitahan nyo ang extra affairs kung di talaga kayang alisin. Darating din ang panahon na mawawala ya. Basta sa ngayon, ienjoy mo sya. Eh di pag bumalik na si BF3, tsaka ka ngayon uli magdecide kung sino nga ba ang mahal mo. Pero sa tingin ko eh hindi ka mahal ni BF3.

    Sa huli mong tanong, aba eh masyado ka nga yata "flirendly". Haha. Self control lang naman yan. May barkada akong parang ganyan din. Gusto nyang magbago pero nahihirapan sya. Unang una, iacknowledge mo na mali ang makipagrelasyon sa dalawa o higit pang tao nang sabaysabay. Kaya mo yan!
  • O di kaya, eto eh kung kaya mo lang naman. Itigil mo lahat yan. Start anew. Walang boyfriend o kahit fling o one night stands man lang. Ang sarap sarap maging single eh.
Sign In or Register to comment.