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Is it possible to get over someone if you still talk to that person almost everyday?

Kasi there’s this guy. When I first met him, he had just broken up with his girlfriend. We started hanging out as friends and he eventually told me na he liked me. And other than the time I heard from his brother that the girl started calling him again, wala na akong narinig about her, so I thought wala na talaga sila. Then, one day I found out from his brother na he and the girl got back together months earlier, pero di na sila close and on and off daw sila. By that time, the guy and I were definitely more than just friends. Naturally, I was really hurt and I asked him if he was only spending time with me kasi he was going through a rough time with his girlfriend. Sabi nya, it wasn’t like that daw, that he really did like me.

We continued being more than just friends for several months. Then I felt that it was just too complicated, so I stopped talking to him. After a month, we got to talk. He said na he really hated it when I wasn’t talking to him. He said I was really special to him and I was the only person he felt he can really talk to. And I told him na I felt the same way about him, that more than anything, we had a really good friendship going.

So yun, we agreed to be just friends. Things have been going well so far. We haven't hooked up. There are times na he gets touchy-feely, pero he restrains himself naman. We end up laughing it off and saying something like, "Uy, di na pwede yan. Friends na lang tayo, di ba?" And I’m really happy na we’re good friends, pero I definitely have feelings for him pa. And the thing is, we have lengthy chats almost every night (using webcams pa). Like last night, we were up until 3:00 am, just talking about how his parents were making him work really hard on their construction business. I feel kinda guilty because I’m the one he talks to at night before he goes to bed, not his girlfriend. Also, I really wanna get over him na and truly see him as just a friend, but I don’t know kung pwede yun when we still talk to each other almost everyday. Possible ba yun? Because he’s my closest guy friend and I don’t wanna stop talking to him again.
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Comments

  • Based on experience, no, you can't. Sa totoo lang, hindi ka makakamove on kung almost everyday you talk and you're reminded of him. Akala ko rin dati possible to, pero really.. hindi talaga.

    Just take some time off, spend time with other people, busy yourself with other things. Tapos test the waters every now and then by talking to him. Kung nag-usap kayo tapos na-feel mo na you're still not over him, space ulit..then just try again after some time. There will come a time na when you talk to him, parang wala na lang. :)

    If he knows you have feelings for him, then I guess he'll understand if you want space.
  • you really can't..trust me..
  • para sakin, nasa will power yun ng tao. madalas, katulad na lang nung na-share mo, mahirap talaga maka-get over kung malakas ang frequency nang pagkikita mo ng past mo. pero kung magiging desidido ka, kaya naman. madalas lang talaga, mahina ang kalaban...
  • panapanahon lang yan.. enjoy the season until it's over.
  • You can.

    You think too highly of the guy that's why you're having such a hard time. You were there when he needed someone to talk to. Learn to accept that you were an almost-rebound affair and your presence was convenient for his loneliness. That would make things easier for you.
  • I've been there... It can't. Mahirap kaya 'yun... Dun ako na-dumped twice (2006) by a guy Im with for 7 yrs. dahil sa unang break-up nya sa akin pumayag ako na maging friends & open communication kasi nga mahal ko pa din (martyr!) kaso binalikan nya ko (after 4 months na friends kami), eh ako si gaga over heels pa rin sa guy nakipagbalikan din ayun, after a month ulit same third party girl, same guy, same year, same heart ang na-hurt... after a year okay na ko. 2008, I'm dating new guys na din & have completely got over that tragedy.

    Pero bahala ka pa din... Nasa iyo lang kasi ang desisyon kung kaya mo i-handle. Ako, hindi ko nakaya. Lumayo pa ko sa Cavite para walang magulo habang nagpapagaling ako last year...hehehe
  • I'm in a similar situation right now, and although I haven't completely gotten over the person YET, I think I'm getting there. So I think it's possible.
    You can.

    You think too highly of the guy that's why you're having such a hard time. You were there when he needed someone to talk to. Learn to accept that you were an almost-rebound affair and your presence was convenient for his loneliness. That would make things easier for you.
    I agree! That's what I'm doing :). I'm kind of acting like her adviser instead haha

    Question to the TS though, what do you think keeps him attached to the gf when he seems to prefer YOU? You talk more, and you get along better. You both know you like each other, so you guys are technically emotionally cheating. haha. It would be hard to get over him if there's that hope that he'll one day dump the gf to be with you.
    But back to the question, I do think it's possible, but as bluemoon said, change your mindset.
  • rickymrickym PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    ts.

    it depends on the person.

    i guess that's what you call unconditional love. love with no expectations. i also do that. i enjoy the feeling. the nice thing about this is, maganda yung karma mo kasi wala kang niloloko.

    the problem is, since you have no committment, the guy can definitely get a gf if he chooses so. but the nice thing is you are also free.

    it really depends on whether you can stomach it.
  • Gurl, tama silang lahat, you can't get over him if you still talk to each other, been there, done that, and its hard kasi how can you help yourself to move on if he's still around. Just give yourself some space until such time na hindi mo na nararamdaman yung excitement pag kausap mo sya. Magiging ordinary na lang yan lahat... :)
  • maybe not, since titibay lang yung 'something' nyo. haha.

    TS, curious lang, are you still studying pa or working na?
  • ^ I just graduated. Taking some time off to relax before working. :)

    Thanks for your insight, guys. I really appreciate it. I know I should distance myself from him but medyo nahihirapan ako ngayon kasi, like I told him, more than anything else, we have a great friendship going. He's my closest guy friend. Also, I'm his best friend right now. He doesn't open up easily to other people, but for some reason, he's more open with me. So parang I'd feel bad to ditch him just like that, you know?

    Jux, I don't know why he's still with his gf. We talk about everything but his gf. He probably still loves her. Kasi I know (from his brother who tells me these things even without me asking, haha) that he's ended things with her a few times before, but she'd call him and konting suyo lang, he'd be back with her.
  • that's excruciating.. :(
  • lanie_rockslanie_rocks PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    Gurl, tama silang lahat, you can't get over him if you still talk to each other, been there, done that, and its hard kasi how can you help yourself to move on if he's still around. Just give yourself some space until such time na hindi mo na nararamdaman yung excitement pag kausap mo sya. Magiging ordinary na lang yan lahat... :)

    exactly.

    If you still feel his presence, the tendency is, you'll be more attached & involved with him than the other way around.

    If you really wanna move on and totally forget the person, just stop seeing nor communicating with him. That's the only way you can escape from your dilemma.
  • nope it isn't of help
  • gurl you wont get over him kung ganyan ang ginagawa mo...
    Also hindi madaling maging friends lang sa isang guy na deep inside e mahal mo...give yourself space, find a new love...then if by chance na nagkita ulit *** at inlove ka sa ibang guy, yun lang yung chance na pwede na kayong maging friends ulet. and if he is still with his on/off gf after ng lahat ng nangyari ibig sabihin hindi nya rin kayang mawala yung gf nya and mas mahal nya yun gurl...so give them some space and wag ka muna umeksena kahit bilang "friend" lang...use that space for yourself, to think...kasi probably medyo naguguluhan *** guy...
  • tigacaintatigacainta PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    ^ I just graduated. Taking some time off to relax before working. :)

    Thanks for your insight, guys. I really appreciate it. I know I should distance myself from him but medyo nahihirapan ako ngayon kasi, like I told him, more than anything else, we have a great friendship going. He's my closest guy friend. Also, I'm his best friend right now. He doesn't open up easily to other people, but for some reason, he's more open with me. So parang I'd feel bad to ditch him just like that, you know?

    Jux, I don't know why he's still with his gf. We talk about everything but his gf. He probably still loves her. Kasi I know (from his brother who tells me these things even without me asking, haha) that he's ended things with her a few times before, but she'd call him and konting suyo lang, he'd be back with her.



    Tell him straight na mag focus na sia sa GF nia 101% ....

    Out of Respect sa GF nia, shutdown your communications with this guy..

    isipin mo ikaw yun GF nia.. masakit din yun at mas mahirap na sitwasyon..

    Malay mo sa dulo maging kayo pa rin..

    but that is kung Fairytales ang hilig mong buhay..

  • Thanks for your insight, guys. I really appreciate it. I know I should distance myself from him but medyo nahihirapan ako ngayon kasi, like I told him, more than anything else, we have a great friendship going. He's my closest guy friend. Also, I'm his best friend right now. He doesn't open up easily to other people, but for some reason, he's more open with me. So parang I'd feel bad to ditch him just like that, you know?
    Ganito rin sakin before. We have been friends for more than 6 years and we've been close ever since din.

    Sabi ko nga sa ibang friends namin gusto ko imaintain kahit yung friendship man lang, pero sabi nila bahala daw ako dahil tatanda daw akong dalaga kung hindi ako lalayo. Which would've been true since binusted ko mga nanligaw sakin sa kakahintay sa kanya. Nagka-bf na sana ko. Hahaha..

    Mga 2 months ako lumayo, medyo okay na ko ngayon. Nag-uusap na lang kami about once a week compared dati na everyday talaga. Mga once a month na lang din kami nagkikita at palaging kasama ibang friends, hindi kagaya before na nakakaalis kami kahit kami lang. Nakakamiss, pero kaya naman.*okay*

    Good luck sa pag-move on :)
  • What has that quote again? If you love something set it free. if it comes back to you its yours. if not, it was never meant to be. or sumpthin like that :p

    he has a girlfriend, and even if you agreed to just be friends youre still investing feelings in your relationship/ Subconsciously you might be thinking that he likes you more than he likes his gf, he might leave his gf soon, etc etc etc. But the fact of the matter is, youre just his friend and if he thinks youre that special he wouldnt get back together with his gf.

    Go out, meet other guys and stop cheating yourself from having a real relationship with another guy. Every girl deserves to be the "first lady" of her man, and not just a spare tire. Good luck :)
  • There's a reason why couples who break up do not see each other. It's to get over and move on. If you still spend time together, you will always be reminded of why you fell for him in the first place.

    Kung okay lang sayo na ganyan ang sitwasyon, go. Kung gusto mo talaga magmove on, move away. Mahirap man sa umpisa, at least makakamove on ka in the long run.
  • That depends on you, but from my experience, it's impossible. Sa nangyayari ngayon, posibleng hindi mo namamalayan naghihintay ka na pala sa wala.
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