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My daughter's dad suddenly walked out...

People always told me that I can always handle this... I wish they knew what I've been going through.

My daughter's dad suddenly walked out on us. Now, he hardly has the time to even make a phonecall to his daughter. He does not support his child anymore for several months now. I had to call his office (and usually I get slapped with "wala ho siya, di siya pumasok" answers) just to remind him na tawagan mo naman yung anak mo.

What's worst and while the wounds are still fresh, he allows his "new" girl to use his email account to harass me and even threatened that he will have my employer kick me out of my job. He gives my full name, my place of work, and even our current address to the girl.

So confused. So depressed. :depressed:

Comments

  • hmmm, kaya mo yan..

    simple lang, be strong and say to the girl that subukan niya. alamin mo din mga details nung girl and fight her back. she's nothing and dont bother her, pablotter mo yung mga incidences para matakot siya. print mo yung emails then state yung reason na harrassment. file mo sa district police station niyo then hingi ka ng formal statement ng blotter. ilagay mo yung fullname ng dad ng bata saka nung girl (blotter to kaya kahit walang burden of proof pede) then keep the copy in a safe place (iwan mo sa mom mo). in that statement, write down na you are being harrassed and that if anything bad happens to you and to your kid, pareho silang prime suspects. (blotter is report lang naman, para alam ng authorities if ever may mangyari sa inyo 2)

    now, stop calling yung dad ng anak mo. clearly ayaw na nya makisawsaw sa buhay ng anak mo. well and good, at least solo mo yung bata. pakatatag ka. step up to the plate for your kid and support the child on your own. notice i didn't say try, i say do it kasi you have to. ang word na "di kaya" e nasa utak mo lang, pag di mo sinubukan at di mo ginawa, di talaga mo kakayanin, asa utak at isip mo lang yan.

    ngayon kung malakas talaga hawak ng babae sa trabaho mo, i suggest look for another work. pero kung wala naman siyang kilala sa opisina mo except mga colleagues mo or the resident janitor, e wag kang matakot. di pepede yung basta basta kang tanggalin, kahit sabihin nilang kelangan ka nilang ilet go for some **** made up reason, pagcinontest mo sa NLRC, panalo ka pa din, and im sure your boss is professional enough not to let anyone dabble in his business affairs. business ay hiwalay sa personal. di stupid ang company mo para sa isang kumpas lang ng insecure na **** e iririsk nila ang reputation ng company, not to mention settlement loss that they may have to shell out to you pag nagcomplain ka.

    thing is, pakita mo matapang ka at di ka basta basta, kaya ka hinaharass kasi titiklop ka agad e. sagutin mo email ng dad ng anak mo, sabihin mo di ka natatakot kasi nakablotter na, stupid siya sinabi niya sa email yung address etc etc, ngayon may proof ka, takutin mo sabihin mo intayin yung summons ng pulis paparating na, esp. ngayon may proof ka.

    just get the blotter and the emails printed and keep it. have someone you trust keep another copy, to be released only when necessary.

    kala nung girl may trump card siya, pero stupid siya dahil sa ginawa niya asa iyo yung alas.
  • If finances is your main problem, you can file a petition for support in court. Kung hinaharass ka pa, under RA 9262 or Violence against Women and their Children Act na yan. Consult a lawyer or a Women's rights group to know your options. Know and assert your rights
  • thanks gymrat23 and blake85. i've been thinking of that move, too. nakakapagpalakas kayo ng loob ko. i think i really need to assert my rights and my daughter's, maski pa lawyer yung father ng anak ko.

    most of my friends say pabayaan ko na lang sila, probably if we didn't have a child, walang problema. However, i have my daughter who needs support and it's not only my obligation but his, too.

    i'll definitely seek legal assistance. things went overboard na e. thanks!
  • akyen bigay iyo payo. iyo gawin...

    dalhin iyo anak kanya trabaho. harap niya
    iyo iwan anak. iparinig iyo salita inyo anak
    kailangan tulong ama. dapat marinig iba tao.
    tapos, bigla ka talikod at alis mag-isa. lol
  • kreukkreuk PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    don't worry... there's KARMA awaiting them... believe this.
  • DELISYUSDELISYUS PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    indeed.... do your research and find out all your options...

    DO NOT LET YOURSELF BE PROVOKED but save every incriminating e-mail and text message sent your way... also, if the other girl is already getting too obnoxious, report her and talk to your superiors na agad so you can get their support/help

    you can always leave the door open for when the father has a change of heart and wants a relationship with your child.... but in the meantime, since he doesn't... protect your sanity and her well-being... go on the defensive, not on the offensive...

    get legal help! make this man know you mean business... and there is no messing with you! am sure the other girl is just upsetting you because she knows you are upset by her...

    maybe you can try getting some counseling too... there are NGOs offering them for free
  • i appreciate everyone's reply... thanks....

    i was so worried, i have a very conservative workplace (i.e. run by nuns). they do not know my relationship in the past and in spite of the fact that it took place before i became their employee, they can always kick me away (not literally, though). this is the only work i have and without this, i could not possibly support my kid.

    thanks for the replies. i'm beginning to like PEX. :-)
  • baklitabaklita PEx Veteran ⭐⭐


    it appears that the father of your child and his new girl are ganging
    up on you, moreover, disowing his daughter by not offering financial
    support and no voluntary visit at all.

    you daughter deserves child support from his father. the way to
    do this is by getting a lawyer to work this out via the legal system.

    pwidi akong ninang, noh!

    aihihihi!!! :lol:

    baklita


  • Be strong for your kid! ALWAYS PRAY. Stop calling him or texting him. He's no good.
  • don't bother him na kasi..
    it's just over..

    don't use your child as a reason for you to run after him..

    don't make yourself a loser by running after a loser..
  • blue_tracerblue_tracer PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    the threadstarter did not mention if she's married to that man. anyway..

    of course, there's always that option to fight for your right. but they're just going to throw more mud at you.

    no one can ever know the real pain and anxiety you're feeling right now.. unbearable torture, perhaps.

    but looking at the situation from a different angle, assuming in the end, you finally forced him, thru legal means, to provide financial assistance for your daughter. fine.. but with the kind of person that he is, i dont think it will make things simpler as you expect it to be.

    i think it would be better to stay calm at the moment. diffuse this already tensed situation by focusing on your current job. a job you cant afford to get affected by this mess. you have a daughter to support.

    it that bazztard totally wants to free himself from any obligation to your daughter. then so be it.

    raise your daughter as a single mom.. they made it. why cant you..?

    pag ka lumaki na daughter mo na maganda, malusog, talented, matalino.. at uugod-ugod na yung bugoy na yun, magkakaroon din siya ng desire na mayakap man lang ang daugther niya.

    diyan ka na siguro makakaganti. weather-weather lang ang buhay.. he he he.. :hiya: ipatikim mo rin sa kanya yung unbrearable torture na naranasan mo.

    'baggage' nga siguro yang daughter mo.. pero kayamanan din yan at the same time.

    keep your head up above the water line. just stay afloat. you'll make it.

    goodie lak! :)
  • ^^ thanks for the worthy opinion. that's what i'm doing right now. i'm slowly picking the pieces (of me). I am not married to him, I thought we will be, but apparently those were only false hopes and broken promises. Seems that I did not know him after all the years we've been together as a couple.

    It's been almost half a year. The pain is still here. I'm trying hard to move on and get through with this ordeal. The depression is still there, though I've been trying hard to fight it out. Some friends have been helpful (though some are not, too.). Now, I gather my strength from my daughter, who seems not to care growing up without a father and is happy with her mom (looks like, she is stronger than her mother).

    Thanks, again.
  • layuan mo na ang lalaking yan, he's not worth it. mamimiss din nya ang anak mo. at kung kaya mo naman sarilinin gastos, wag ka ng humingi. at higit sa lahat may KARMA wag kang mag-alala
  • you go girl. you can do it!
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