STOP me from destroying myself

I won’t give out so much detail just because I don’t want anyone to figure out who I am. Sorry, sobrang paranoid ako. It’s odd that I am sharing this here; I just can’t talk about it to anyone. Just because I am not really sure, and I think that I would probably get a better help from people who doesn’t have the bias, and I just want an honest opinion. So here it is:

Well, I knew this guy for a long time now. He is ahead of me for about a year. We both go to the same school since elementary. And when I graduated sa HS, I got accepted in his school. Well, this guy was never my friend. He is somewhat well known sa school for being a brilliant student, and have several rewards. In comparison, I lead an average normal life.

So, we are both in this club for people who goes to the same high school, it’s like a bonding club. So, I’d like to shorten the story a bit and say that I think HE LIKES ME. However, my brain tells me that I am fooling myself. Maybe he doesn’t like me at all, and he is just nice to everyone. Maybe that’s why he is so popular because he is so charming, and he makes people feel as though he was your friend. I kind of like him, at the same time, I felt like hating him. Recently, I keep on badmouthing him to people, saying that he is fake, user, social climber, etc.

I know I am being immature. I get jealous every time I saw him talk with other women, as though he was my bf. This started when he was like befriending me, and talking to me about his life, and we hang out in the mall, play some games, and he even taught me some sports. He even introduces me to his mother as a friend, and we just study together. Then, he got busy, but he still takes the time to say “Hi” to me, and always jokes around.

I don’t know why I feel so angry, and ignored. Recently he has been hanging out with new people. It seems like yesterday when he told me that he hates the people that surround him, and that I am a special friend. Tapos ngayon, back to normal na naman kami. I feel USED for some reason. I can’t think well, I felt like he cheated on me. Pero hindi ko naman siya naging BF. As I said, he still smiles at me, so I felt guilty for saying all those bad stuff about him. I just can’t help it. Guys please help me.

Do you guys think I should confront him? And say what? That he made me think that he likes me, and I need some sort of apology for using me when he needs me, and leave me behind when he was back in his feet? That was MEAN, right?

Pexers, please don’t laugh at me for sharing a trivial problem suited for like HS students. I guess, I have low emotional IQ. I can’t sleep well , so I really need some help. I am felt so embarrassed to even talk about to anyone, not even a counselor. And hey, if you (the guy) are reading this, I am sorry. You and I or me, will never be friends…
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Comments

  • {Sniper}{Sniper} Banned by Admin PExer
    TS how about you act mature? Is it wrong for the guy to have many friends as much as possible? And why do you have to be angry with him, did he wrong you in another life or something? Something really tells me that there was more than just "conversation" that's been happening between you and this guy, you wouldn't feel used FOR NOTHING..
  • harponincharponinc Member PExer
    wala kaming intimate na relationship, we briefly became friends. I just wish it was longer, at sana naging kami. That's why I feel bitter. I really need some tips on how to stop myself from feeling some sort of jealousy. Minsan naging stalker na rin ako. I sometimes follow him around sa campus, and make up stories about him, and spreading lies. I know this is not a normal behavior.

    Pero kasalanan niya. He is not giving me his attention! With our brief friendship, I really treasured it. I know so much about him, he told me things, some serious stuff, about his family, how he feels, his insecurities. He also listened to my story, and I felt something. I am lonely, at siya lang naging sincere na kaibigan ko. The only person who treated me with respect and listen to me. Tapos ngayon wala na siya. He is unreachable again. It is not fair.
  • Lpreema06Lpreema06 eLfUtUrAEspOsAdEPrimELocC PExer
    harponinc wrote: »
    wala kaming intimate na relationship, we briefly became friends. I just wish it was longer, at sana naging kami. That's why I feel bitter. I really need some tips on how to stop myself from feeling some sort of jealousy. Minsan naging stalker na rin ako. I sometimes follow him around sa campus, and make up stories about him, and spreading lies. I know this is not a normal behavior.

    Pero kasalanan niya. He is not giving me his attention! With our brief friendship, I really treasured it. I know so much about him, he told me things, some serious stuff, about his family, how he feels, his insecurities. He also listened to my story, and I felt something. I am lonely, at siya lang naging sincere na kaibigan ko. The only person who treated me with respect and listen to me. Tapos ngayon wala na siya. He is unreachable again. It is not fair.

    Kaya ka nagkakaganyan kasi hinahayaan muh yung sarili muh na magkaganyan.. Friends lang naman kayo diba? there's nothing wrong kung may kasama man syang ibang babae, hindi naman kayo eh.., kahit na sabihin nating sinabi nya lahat-lahat sa'yo, it doesn't mean pwede ka nang magkaganyan.. Just because of the girls na nakakasama nya.., nagkakaganyan ka na.., Yah, you're really acting immature.., sobrang nega' muh eh.., kung ngayon pa lang na friends kayo, ganyan na asal mo, what more kung maging kayo diba?! ehdi mas grabeh pa jan ang asal mo.., kasi may relasyon na kayo.., kaya tS, alisin muh yang pagiging immature muh..,
  • sweetwahmsweetwahm Just Another PExer ✭✭
    Why don't you expand your social circle for a change? It's like your life revolves around him kaya di ka mapakali. I think he's being a decent friend.
  • horny_angelhorny_angel Banned by Admin PExer
    harponinc wrote: »
    I won’t give out so much detail just because I don’t want anyone to figure out who I am. Sorry, sobrang paranoid ako. It’s odd that I am sharing this here; I just can’t talk about it to anyone. Just because I am not really sure, and I think that I would probably get a better help from people who doesn’t have the bias, and I just want an honest opinion. So here it is:

    Well, I knew this guy for a long time now. He is ahead of me for about a year. We both go to the same school since elementary. And when I graduated sa HS, I got accepted in his school. Well, this guy was never my friend. He is somewhat well known sa school for being a brilliant student, and have several rewards. In comparison, I lead an average normal life.

    So, we are both in this club for people who goes to the same high school, it’s like a bonding club. So, I’d like to shorten the story a bit and say that I think HE LIKES ME. However, my brain tells me that I am fooling myself. Maybe he doesn’t like me at all, and he is just nice to everyone. Maybe that’s why he is so popular because he is so charming, and he makes people feel as though he was your friend. I kind of like him, at the same time, I felt like hating him. Recently, I keep on badmouthing him to people, saying that he is fake, user, social climber, etc.

    I know I am being immature. I get jealous every time I saw him talk with other women, as though he was my bf. This started when he was like befriending me, and talking to me about his life, and we hang out in the mall, play some games, and he even taught me some sports. He even introduces me to his mother as a friend, and we just study together. Then, he got busy, but he still takes the time to say “Hi” to me, and always jokes around.

    I don’t know why I feel so angry, and ignored. Recently he has been hanging out with new people. It seems like yesterday when he told me that he hates the people that surround him, and that I am a special friend. Tapos ngayon, back to normal na naman kami. I feel USED for some reason. I can’t think well, I felt like he cheated on me. Pero hindi ko naman siya naging BF. As I said, he still smiles at me, so I felt guilty for saying all those bad stuff about him. I just can’t help it. Guys please help me.

    Do you guys think I should confront him? And say what? That he made me think that he likes me, and I need some sort of apology for using me when he needs me, and leave me behind when he was back in his feet? That was MEAN, right?

    Pexers, please don’t laugh at me for sharing a trivial problem suited for like HS students. I guess, I have low emotional IQ. I can’t sleep well , so I really need some help. I am felt so embarrassed to even talk about to anyone, not even a counselor. And hey, if you (the guy) are reading this, I am sorry. You and I or me, will never be friends…

    I suggest you talk to him in private and tell him everything you've done.

    Just think of it this way: ('reverse roles') If you were in his shoes, how would you feel about it and what would you do to someone like you(< harponinc) who did such malicious acts?

    If he really LIKES you the way you LIKE him, then there would'nt be any problem...

    BUt it seems to me (based on your story), that he doesn't. Maybe he kinda LIKEs you but doesn;t think you're a gf material....
  • horny_angelhorny_angel Banned by Admin PExer
    harponinc wrote: »
    wala kaming intimate na relationship, we briefly became friends. I just wish it was longer, at sana naging kami. That's why I feel bitter. I really need some tips on how to stop myself from feeling some sort of jealousy. Minsan naging stalker na rin ako. I sometimes follow him around sa campus, and make up stories about him, and spreading lies. I know this is not a normal behavior.

    Pero kasalanan niya. He is not giving me his attention!


    IT is not his fault. It's not his responsibility to give you attention.
    With our brief friendship, I really treasured it. I know so much about him, he told me things, some serious stuff, about his family, how he feels, his insecurities. He also listened to my story, and I felt something. I am lonely, at siya lang naging sincere na kaibigan ko. The only person who treated me with respect and listen to me. Tapos ngayon wala na siya. He is unreachable again. It is not fair.

    Well, C'est la vie. Life's unfair. YOu can't and won't have everything you want. You just have to deal with it like a mature and sane person would. YOu don't have to be such a backstabbing b*tch....
  • horny_angelhorny_angel Banned by Admin PExer
    sweetwahm wrote: »
    Why don't you expand your social circle for a change? It's like your life revolves around him kaya di ka mapakali. I think he's being a decent friend.

    CORRECT...

    Or watch something addicting like HEROES (if u like X-men, you're gonna love this) or THE L WORD (if you like a witty and sexy series like SEX and the CITY) . Anything or any activity that will get your mind off him.
  • horny_angelhorny_angel Banned by Admin PExer
    ^TV series
  • 24242424 Guest PExer
    harponinc wrote: »
    Pexers, please don’t laugh at me for sharing a trivial problem suited for like HS students. I guess, I have low emotional IQ. I can’t sleep well , so I really need some help. I am felt so embarrassed to even talk about to anyone, not even a counselor. And hey, if you (the guy) are reading this, I am sorry. You and I or me, will never be friends…

    Well pretty trivial indeed :naughty: maybe you lack a clear definition of your own feelings. I think you expected something that he did not gave you and you may misunderstood his actions towards you. He may open up to you more but you might have mistaken it for love, affection and other stuffs? Just tell me if I am wrong but that is what I see in you. What if he is just friendly to all other girls out there and to guys as well? And he has been your friend for a short time too, but during those times you might have fallen for him? And you expected too much in an instant thats why you are confused now. But look at him do you think he is thinking of you too? :bop:
  • ka_denizka_deniz bagong buhay ✭✭✭
    have a life.

    just move on and forget about it. there's nothing you can do about it. words spoken may never be taken back. just learn your lesson.

    get new sets of friends. masyado ka lang nagkukulong sa bahay kaya ka nagmumukmok. wala kang pinagkakaabalahan.
  • dragonjointdragonjoint Member PExer
    Kiss him and see his reaction
  • harponincharponinc Member PExer
    I have some friends naman, but I never had a guy friend...
    I am quite aware that what I did was wrong, and I find it suprising that I would do such behavior. It's not me. That is not who I am, so I don't really know what is happening to me. I felt like possessed by the devil, at hindi ko ma-control sarili ko.

    I am really embarass sa mga actions ko this past few weeks. I feel guilty whenever I try to hurt his reputation. Umiiyak ako gabi-gabi. I don't know why I felt the need to revenge, galit ako dahil hindi niya ako mahal.

    This too shall pass. I know, I need to CHANGE soon. Pero now, parang di ko kaya. I am still hurting. He made me fall-in love with him. Why else would we spend so much time together the last few months, kung hindi niya naman pala ako mahal? I did thought that we are dating. After class, hinihintay niya ako, and we go have some coffee and go to the mall o kaya minsan sa place niya, and he would cook for me. Nawalan ako ng kaibigan dahil sa kanya, because I don't hang out anymore with my friends, it's nothing else matter, but him. Tapos ganun lang. Suddenly, I don't exist anymore. He pretends as if I am an acquaintance...
  • cantikcantik Member PExer
    harponinc wrote: »
    I have some friends naman, but I never had a guy friend...
    I am quite aware that what I did was wrong, and I find it suprising that I would do such behavior. It's not me. That is not who I am, so I don't really know what is happening to me. I felt like possessed by the devil, at hindi ko ma-control sarili ko.

    I am really embarass sa mga actions ko this past few weeks. I feel guilty whenever I try to hurt his reputation. Umiiyak ako gabi-gabi. I don't know why I felt the need to revenge, galit ako dahil hindi niya ako mahal.

    This too shall pass. I know, I need to CHANGE soon. Pero now, parang di ko kaya. I am still hurting. He made me fall-in love with him. Why else would we spend so much time together the last few months, kung hindi niya naman pala ako mahal? I did thought that we are dating. After class, hinihintay niya ako, and we go have some coffee and go to the mall o kaya minsan sa place niya, and he would cook for me. Nawalan ako ng kaibigan dahil sa kanya, because I don't hang out anymore with my friends, it's nothing else matter, but him. Tapos ganun lang. Suddenly, I don't exist anymore. He pretends as if I am an acquaintance...

    i suggest you renew your ties with your friends ... hang out with them again. iwasan mo muna siya kung pwede. huwag mong paikutin ang mundo mo sa isang tao lang. sa ngayon, kaibigan lang ang tingin nya sa iyo. kung hihigit pa dun, i'm sure sasabihin din nya sa iyo. pero sa ngayon, ganun lang yon.

    life is too short. enjoy it! engage in other activities -- sports, church, community, whatever.

    and please, stop the backstabbing... bilog ang mundo ...
  • quinonequinone Member
    mmm... i don't know kung nae-experience mo yung napagdaanan ko dati. so i have to ask a question. naging mag MU ba kayo? kase sabi mo you feel that he likes you.

    i had this guy friend, naging mag MU kami. pero i always had this feeling na andun lang siya when he needs me. tapos we kind of drifted apart, but i remember that i badly needed a closure. baka naman closure lang ang kailangan mo? no amount of forget-about-him advice will make you actually forget him. ako, ewan ko, in time nakalimutan ko na siya. tsaka don't nurse your feelings, kasi kung 24/7 yan iniisip mo, wala talagang mangyayari sayo.

    oh, & don't say bad things behind his back, he might find out. nakakahiya magexplain nyan pag kinon-front ka.
  • harponincharponinc Member PExer
    Sorry guys, di ko masyadong na-explain kung bakit galit ako sa kanya. Well, not only that he ignore me, but also parang gusto niyang i-deny na naging kaibigan kami. Kinakahiya niya ako. Recently, nakita ko siya, and he saw me, our eyes meet. He said “hi” sa akin, at yung girl na kasama niya, tanong sa kanya kung sino ako , sabi naman niya “a club member”. Okay, fine, he is right, I guess what irritates me more is that yun lang sinabi niya, no further explanation, at yung facial expression, irritated as if he is trying to imply na obviously na it’s impossible to ever have any relationship sa akin.

    Quinonine, yes all I need is a closure. I just need a minute to talk to him, and discuss what happened. Yun lang. But it’s impossible to do so because he is always surrounded with people. At kapag nakita ko siyang alone, parating may ginagawa, kahit sa coffee shop, he has his laptop around at naka-ipod pa. So hindi niya ako maririnig. When I go the library, he is reading a book, and doing his homework. Sa gym naman, if he is not playing basketball, he is trying to rest, at ilang minutes lang, balik laro ulit. He has no time in the weekend, kasi president sa ilang club. One night, I waited for the meeting to end. And guess what? Nakita niya ako, and I tried to say wait, but he acted that he didn’t hear me and proceeded to the parking lot. He is making it impossible for me to talk to him. Kahit alone lang siya sa hallway, when he sees me, he then say hi to other people, and have conversations with them. Diba nakakainis?

    As I said, all I want is a CLOSURE, please talk to me. Then I can leave you alone. Don’t worry, hindi ako desperate for your love, I am not going to CRY, hindi ako magmamakaawa, all I want is an EXPLANATION. Bakit mo ako INIIWASAN? Ilang minutes lang kailangan ko, after this, I will move on, I promise. I will forget you, and I will also think that you and I never meet. ERASE ka na sa memory ko. Nahihirapan na ako, so please stop my suffering. I learn my lesson too. Never na akong makipag-close sa mga lalake.
  • rickymrickym Member ✭✭
    harponinc wrote: »
    Sorry guys, di ko masyadong na-explain kung bakit galit ako sa kanya. Well, not only that he ignore me, but also parang gusto niyang i-deny na naging kaibigan kami. Kinakahiya niya ako. Recently, nakita ko siya, and he saw me, our eyes meet. He said “hi” sa akin, at yung girl na kasama niya, tanong sa kanya kung sino ako , sabi naman niya “a club member”. Okay, fine, he is right, I guess what irritates me more is that yun lang sinabi niya, no further explanation, at yung facial expression, irritated as if he is trying to imply na obviously na it’s impossible to ever have any relationship sa akin.

    you really can't blame him for saying that you're "a club member". some women are so paranoid, maybe his date is. and he doesn't want her to be insecure. a girl once told me that some girls will get pissed if i date them then just bother to talk to an old girl friend while on the date.
    harponinc wrote: »
    Quinonine, yes all I need is a closure. I just need a minute to talk to him, and discuss what happened. Yun lang. But it’s impossible to do so because he is always surrounded with people. At kapag nakita ko siyang alone, parating may ginagawa, kahit sa coffee shop, he has his laptop around at naka-ipod pa. So hindi niya ako maririnig. When I go the library, he is reading a book, and doing his homework. Sa gym naman, if he is not playing basketball, he is trying to rest, at ilang minutes lang, balik laro ulit. He has no time in the weekend, kasi president sa ilang club. One night, I waited for the meeting to end. And guess what? Nakita niya ako, and I tried to say wait, but he acted that he didn’t hear me and proceeded to the parking lot. He is making it impossible for me to talk to him. Kahit alone lang siya sa hallway, when he sees me, he then say hi to other people, and have conversations with them. Diba nakakainis?

    As I said, all I want is a CLOSURE, please talk to me. Then I can leave you alone. Don’t worry, hindi ako desperate for your love, I am not going to CRY, hindi ako magmamakaawa, all I want is an EXPLANATION. Bakit mo ako INIIWASAN? Ilang minutes lang kailangan ko, after this, I will move on, I promise. I will forget you, and I will also think that you and I never meet. ERASE ka na sa memory ko. Nahihirapan na ako, so please stop my suffering. I learn my lesson too. Never na akong makipag-close sa mga lalake.

    there is really no closure needed. what is there to explain. you were just friends period. a lot of men can manage to be friends with women even if they have gf's. a lot of women drop their friends when they have bf's. if he is avoiding you. it's probably because he doesn't want any trouble with the girl he is with.
  • nonobanonononobanono Member PExer
    harponinc wrote: »
    Sorry guys, di ko masyadong na-explain kung bakit galit ako sa kanya. Well, not only that he ignore me, but also parang gusto niyang i-deny na naging kaibigan kami. Kinakahiya niya ako. Recently, nakita ko siya, and he saw me, our eyes meet. He said “hi” sa akin, at yung girl na kasama niya, tanong sa kanya kung sino ako , sabi naman niya “a club member”. Okay, fine, he is right, I guess what irritates me more is that yun lang sinabi niya, no further explanation, at yung facial expression, irritated as if he is trying to imply na obviously na it’s impossible to ever have any relationship sa akin.

    Quinonine, yes all I need is a closure. I just need a minute to talk to him, and discuss what happened. Yun lang. But it’s impossible to do so because he is always surrounded with people. At kapag nakita ko siyang alone, parating may ginagawa, kahit sa coffee shop, he has his laptop around at naka-ipod pa. So hindi niya ako maririnig. When I go the library, he is reading a book, and doing his homework. Sa gym naman, if he is not playing basketball, he is trying to rest, at ilang minutes lang, balik laro ulit. He has no time in the weekend, kasi president sa ilang club. One night, I waited for the meeting to end. And guess what? Nakita niya ako, and I tried to say wait, but he acted that he didn’t hear me and proceeded to the parking lot. He is making it impossible for me to talk to him. Kahit alone lang siya sa hallway, when he sees me, he then say hi to other people, and have conversations with them. Diba nakakainis?

    As I said, all I want is a CLOSURE, please talk to me. Then I can leave you alone. Don’t worry, hindi ako desperate for your love, I am not going to CRY, hindi ako magmamakaawa, all I want is an EXPLANATION. Bakit mo ako INIIWASAN? Ilang minutes lang kailangan ko, after this, I will move on, I promise. I will forget you, and I will also think that you and I never meet. ERASE ka na sa memory ko. Nahihirapan na ako, so please stop my suffering. I learn my lesson too. Never na akong makipag-close sa mga lalake.

    TS, kung ayaw ka niyang kausapin, huwag mong ipilit. Obviously, umiiwas siya sa 'yo. Kung noon, close kayo, ngayon kailangan mong tanggapin na "club member" ka na lang para sa kanya. Kung ako sa sitwasyon mo, ang sasabihin ko, "KUNG AYAW MO, EH DI HUWAG. HINDI KO KAWALAN."

    Maraming guys ang ganyan --- kapag halata nilang hinahabol mo sila mas lalo silang umiiwas. Ibahin mo ang tactic mo. Pabayaan mo siya. Huwag mo siyang habulin at kapag nagkikita kayo, just say "Hi" na parang wala lang sa 'yo. Mag-ayos ka at magpaganda ka. Ipakita mo sa kanya na di ka affected --- dahil obviously di naman siya affected. Malay mo in the end siya pa ang gumawa ng effort para magkausap kayo kapag nakita niyang dumidistansya ka na.
  • quinonequinone Member
    LET IT GO -- alam ko it's so so so difficult.

    baka siya yung tipong lalaki na under the pretense na gusto niya maging friends kayo, tapos papa-feel niya sayo na super ikaw pinaka close friend niya, pero may intentions pala siya. tapos sa totoo lang lahat ng girl friends niya in one way or another ka-MU niya. alam mo yun?

    he doesn't want to talk to you or nourish whatever you previously had kase tapos na yung phase ninyo. kahit pa makausap mo siya, wala mangyayari kasi magkakaroron ka lang ng mga bagong questions na gusto mong itanung pero hindi mo pa rin maiintindihan. i think, walang reasonable na sagot sa mga tanung mo.

    ang best na pwede mong gawin e mag-practice ng self control. alam mo yun, nasa stage ka na gusto mo siya makausap. wag na! to him you'll sound desperate.
  • harponincharponinc Member PExer
    so, it is over. I..need him.

    Thanks everyone. Sorry po for being annoying. I guess the reason why I am sharing this is because I want to hear people criticizing him. For at least someone to say he did something wrong, and I am a victim of someone who just plays around. However, I fail to achieve that goal. Kahit pala sa forum, people still like him, or not like, but you know what I mean.

    again, maraming salamat.
  • RedhotOneRedhotOne Member PExer
    harponinc wrote: »
    so, it is over. I..need him.

    Thanks everyone. Sorry po for being annoying. I guess the reason why I am sharing this is because I want to hear people criticizing him. For at least someone to say he did something wrong, and I am a victim of someone who just plays around. However, I fail to achieve that goal. Kahit pala sa forum, people still like him, or not like, but you know what I mean.

    again, maraming salamat.
    harponinc, it's unfortunate that you had such experience but, as hard as it seems, it's time to get over it. You say you need him but he obviously does not need you; in fact, he has shut you out of his life already.

    If this is what you want to hear to make it easier to move on, then I'll say it here: He did you wrong and you were his victim (albeit willingly).
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