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turned down a girl: was i polite enough?

first of all, i am a guy with a really pathetic love life. pihikian ako and i would like to think malas ako sa mga niligawan ko.

long story but i'll try and put them in a few sentences...

while in graduate school meron akong niligawan na isang girl. kinain niya lahat ng regalo ko. binili ko pa nga yung iba sa hong kong. at the end of one month, sabi lang niya, "i like all your gifts, kaya lang may nanliligaw na isa pa sa akin and i like him more. goodbye." and without my knowledge, pinagmalaki niya sa lahat ng friends namin na busted ako. medyo embarassing.

yun sumunod kong niligawan, gusto ipag-drive ko siya, ipagluto, buhatin lahat ng bags niya, etc. wala pa akong one week na nanliligaw. she even asked me to do part of her graduate school project. ang sama ng ugali. madami pa siyang ibang ginawa, kasabwat yung friends niya. i gave up on her. siya pa nagalit. wala pa rin siyang BF hanggang ngayon.

i don't usually give up. i became too busy. mas important ang career. mas may returns. and even with this pathetic love life, pihikan pa rin ako.

dun sa dating pinag trabahuhan ko, meron isang girl, pretty naman but di ko type. we weren't close as friends although we were 'comfortable' as all of us co-workers were. everyone knew she had a BF.

one day she announced that they broke up and emphasized 'FREE' na daw siya. di ko pinansin. a week later, pag walang ginagawa, tabi nang tabi sa akin. di ko pinansing. eventually, pag matutulog (ie, siesta), tatabi sa akin and she would set her head on my shoulder, etc. patay-malisya ako. eventually payakap-yakap na siya.

mukhang may gusto sa akin. and i say 'mukhang' may gusto precisely for the same reason why hindi ko siya pinatulan: she had just broken up with her long time BF and alam ko naman that people like these are on the rebound. pag pinatulan ko, i know possibly masasaktan lang din ako ulit. and possibly siya din. i was also prioritizing my career and i knew that sooner or later i would have to leave. and as i said di ko naman talaga type. i did not want to give her the wrong impression. ayokong paasahin. hindi ko pinatulan lahat ng paglalambing niya.

my contract ended and i had to move on. one time napadalaw ako and she gave me that 'tampo' look.

that look haunted me. the last two women i courted hurt me. and i kept asking myself kung ganun lang ba talaga? but my friends consoled me na malas lang daw talaga ako dahil 'wicked' yun niligawan ko. i did not want to let anyone experience the hurt these two made me go through, but somehow i think i might have to this co-worker.

i'm still single. prioritizing career. but ayoko naman maging matandang binata. ayokong ma-karma.

what do you think? what do you think i should have done/ not done? would you have done the same?

Comments

  • BeerhandBopBeerhandBop PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    she was giving you free seckz. why did you turn it down?
  • she was giving you free seckz. why did you turn it down?

    may phobia ako sa mga virus. i work in the health industry.

    my parents always told me, kung ganun kadaling pasukin ang isang pinto, kung sinu-sino na nakapsok dun.;)
  • CoolCucumberCoolCucumber PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    Whoa, nice analogy! :lol: :cheers:


    :rpflag:
  • blue_tracerblue_tracer PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    doon sa mga nauna mong niligawan.. lalu na doon sa isa na malakas kumain.. :lol: malas ka lang talaga doon..

    doon naman sa isa, na ginawa kang alalay.. malas din lang.

    try lang ng try.. tsambahan ang buhay.

    doon sa pagiging single.. huwag mo alalahanin masyado. dahil halus tsambahan din yan. may mga married na ng 10-20 years, pero sawang-sawa na sa married life nila pero di lang maka paghiwalay dahil sa mga anak.

    mga mga nag asawa rin na kahit maaga, like 20 yrs. old lang sila na maganda naman ang takbo ng married life nila.. tsambahan minsan..

    pihikan ka.. dapat sure ball ka pag pili ng right girl. baka pagsisihan mo balang araw pag nag madali ka..

    date lang ng date.. hehehe.. malay mo.

    goodie lak! :)
  • hikouki wrote: »
    mas important ang career. mas may returns....

    sige tuloy mo lang. surebol ako mapapagod ka ren...

    tapos iisipin mo para san lahat nitong ginagawa mo.. :mecry:
  • baklitabaklita PEx Veteran ⭐⭐


    sayang ang iyong kaalaman kung di ka marunong magdala ng sitwasyon.

    dahil palpak ka sa nakaraan ay dapat i-charge mo sa experience at
    maging mas marunong sa susunod na panliligaw. leave the experience
    behind and move on to a better rapport. huwag tata-nga-ta-nga, noh!

    at saka kwestunable ang iyong diskarte. istilong alipin. pwedeng
    labhan din ang mga damit ko? di ko pa sinabing mag-aararo ka, hah!

    aihihihi!!! :lol:

    baklita


  • Alpha_GreenAlpha_Green PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    Threadstarter: Sorry I became too lazy to finish reading your "story". Anyway I think the advice I will give you could apply to almost all type of cases. So here's my advice - Everything in this world should be FAIR and EQUAL. A guy can turn down a girl the same way a girl turns down a guy. Do not give her special treatment and don't go easy on her just because you're the guy and she's a girl. Let's say who want to turn her down or leave her because she's a b|tch, then get to the point and tell it straight to her god*mn face (example lang yan ah). Tell her directly what you feel. Do not go easy on her just because she's a girl.
  • you might be really picky or women can sense your "weakness". it seems to me that you're the kind of guy who'd do anything to please a woman. masyadong "under" ang dating...BUT look at the last woman who's been chasin you. ever wondered why she is attracted to you? kasi dinededma mo sya...and that makes it challenging. kaso di mo sya type.
  • you might be really picky or women can sense your "weakness". it seems to me that you're the kind of guy who'd do anything to please a woman. masyadong "under" ang dating...BUT look at the last woman who's been chasin you. ever wondered why she is attracted to you? kasi dinededma mo sya...and that makes it challenging. kaso di mo sya type.

    actually, the second girl i tried to woo wanted me to do all those things i mentioned above but i did not. hindi kami lahi ng alipin, and i did not feel she was treating a sutior, or any human being right by asking me, or any person for that matter to do her stuff. it is a two way street, bigayan dapat.

    sa akin, kung ayaw niya, flat out say no na lang.

    no, i will not do anything to please any woman. maybe i was guilty of that with #1. but that is the same reason it took me only a few days to realize ayoko na kay #2. i was feeling it would be the same thing all over again. hindi ako patapon.

    infinite_trial, i like your observation about that girl chasing after me.

    come to think of it, nagkita kami ni girl#2 sa isang conference. nagsalubong kami sa hallway and inirapan ako. that was a good year after we last saw each other. natawa lang ako kasi apparently she was not over me yet. we saw each other again the following week at another conference. this time friendly siya sa akin. actually, PLASTIC kasi there we were in the company of common friends.
  • ^ i agree #2 is some b!tch. sabi nga ni baklita nasa diskarte yan. syempre pili ka din ng worthy girl. with #3, di mo naman sya type so oks lang...but you can use that style to get a girl's attention, gauge your chances, before you take any risks.
  • patience. darating din yan ;)

    don't settle for less dahil lang sa tumatanda ka.
  • Just relax.

    Your turn will come.
  • kininginingkiningining PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    Threadstarter: Sorry I became too lazy to finish reading your "story". Anyway I think the advice I will give you could apply to almost all type of cases. So here's my advice - Everything in this world should be FAIR and EQUAL. A guy can turn down a girl the same way a girl turns down a guy. Do not give her special treatment and don't go easy on her just because you're the guy and she's a girl. Let's say who want to turn her down or leave her because she's a b|tch, then get to the point and tell it straight to her god*mn face (example lang yan ah). Tell her directly what you feel. Do not go easy on her just because she's a girl.

    Agree! *okay*
  • Alpha_GreenAlpha_Green PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    ^^
    You women should [email protected] well agree with that.
  • di mo man lang binigyan ng chance si #3. di mo malalaman ang lasa ng isang bagay hangga't matikman mo. dont judge the book by its cover pre. malay mo may iba pa syang qualities na magustuhan mo. total wala namang mawawala sa yo kasi ang biyaya na ang lumalapit. haha :rotflmao:
  • Cephalalgia is taking a toll on me.
    Novel, I thought this was.

    Anyway, discharge discreetly if you must.
    However, incur a seal on what your brain desires.
    Testing all kinds of waters more often may drown
    you even more, indeed.
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