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if you will decide...

Ok so I'm in a long distance relationship.

My bf and his family migrated few months ago to US and now he's planning to go back here sa Pinas for a vacation and to see me in July . He really worked hard just to earn money for the ticket fare. Naplano na namin lahat...We're so happy... until

My family decided that I'm not going to study this sem because they got tons of debts to pay. My bf doesn't want that to happen. Now, he's having a hard time deciding if he would still pursue the vacation or just give his hard earned money for my studies. He said he really wants to see me but he also doesn't want me to stop this sem. He said he doesn't want to be selfish but he really wants to see me and now he's telling me that maybe I should be the one to decide...

Now I don't know what will I tell him... of course I want to study but I also don't want to be selfish and I also want to see him. Help me.

Comments

  • baklitabaklita PEx Veteran ⭐⭐


    your bf is right. get your education.
    deal with it as if your future depends on it.

    aihihihi!!! :lol:

    baklita


  • blue_tracerblue_tracer PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    i had long distance relationship before. and it's really hard.. anyway

    follow what your bf is suggesting. continue with your studies..

    if he comes to visit you.. no problem. but he's still going to leave again after that, anyway. you'll just be sad.. and probably will get bored for being out of school for a while.

    forget that 'selfishness' thingy.. use that money and finish this sem.. send him the receipt.. and wait for his next scheduled visit.

    sure, there'll be lots of twists and turns in a long distance relationship. but some have made it. so you will.

    goodie lak! :)
  • tuition na lang. he can save naman uli. pero yung sem na nawala, di na mababalik. basta aral lang mabuti para sulit naman.
  • SweetkaySweetkay PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    I'd say go for the tuition since this is your education.

    Pay him back when you're working.

    Remain loyal and if you get bored or fall for someone while in school, at the very least be honest enough about it.
  • csmarycsmary PEx Rookie ⭐
    i had long distance relationship before. and it's really hard.. anyway

    follow what your bf is suggesting. continue with your studies..

    if he comes to visit you.. no problem. but he's still going to leave again after that, anyway. you'll just be sad.. and probably will get bored for being out of school for a while.

    forget that 'selfishness' thingy.. use that money and finish this sem.. send him the receipt.. and wait for his next scheduled visit.

    sure, there'll be lots of twists and turns in a long distance relationship. but some have made it. so you will.

    goodie lak! :)

    ^ I could not have said it better myself. Very sensible advice imo too.
  • lememoirlememoir PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    and now I told him that I want to study, but then he cried and told me that he really wants to go home.. to see me...

    mas lalo lang tuloy ako naguluhan. . kaya I told him that I think it would be better for him to just pursue his vacation since I've already accepted the fact that I'm not going to study. Everyday yun lang lagi ang pinaguusapan namin and he's always crying at me which is hindi nakakatulong. I think he would really be devastated if he can't pursue his vacation. Baka isumbat nya pa sa kin yun later on.. so i decided na wag na lang. Isa pa naaasar lang ako pag pinaguusapan namin.. umiiyak lang sya lagi.
  • blue_tracerblue_tracer PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    csmary:

    sensible ba yun..? hahaha.. thanks anyway. nagkamali pa nga ingles ko. di na edit. ha ha ha..

    t.s.

    emotional pala ang bf mo.. understandable.. sa layu ba naman ninyo. eto nga ba sinasabi ko about ldr sa kabilang thread.. not easy, really.

    puwede siya uwi kung makakadagdag o makakatulong ba ng stability sa relationship ninyo, why not?

    eto lang, dadating siya.. anyway, pera niya naman yun, so yung airfare + other expenses, hindi mo na magagamit pang enrol.

    good, magkikita kayo.. pero, pag alis niya malamang matatagalan na naman ulit kayo magkita, di ba...? dahil iipon na naman ulit eh..

    yun time na yun, na wala ka sa school.. nag hihintay sa susunod niyang uwi, ano ang gagawin mo doon..?

    samantalang, kung gagamitin yun pang air fare sana, pang dagdag sa tuition mo, sa susunod niyang uwi, though malamang medyo may katagalan pa.. nairaos mo na, at least ang one semester by that time..

    sa panahon pa naman ngayon, crucial kung may natapos ka o wala na college degree..

    in a way, kung sa positive mo titingnan, like magiging 'kayo', eh paghahanda na itong college degree mo ah.. malay mo, kunin ka rin papuntang abroad..? di magagamit mo degree mo para maka kuha ng trabaho..

    try niyo mag chat almost everyday, para di na siya lungkot.. :D


    goodie lak! :)
  • I read this thread just now. And after reading the first post, my immediate reaction was choose to meet him and not go to use it for your tuition. Buta fter reading the first comments though, I am surprised people said to put it in studies. So I guess, I have to elaborate a little more than just exclaiming to meet with him instead of putting it in your studies.

    Oh, and what a weak guy your bf is to put the burden of decision on you. Pathetic. He can't make a decision regarding his own money? :glee:

    First of all... the money we're talking about here is his money... not yours. It's also not a shared money between the two of you since you're not married. And it was he who worked his *** off for that money. And as far as LDRs go, it'll probably be dead in a few months--a few years max. So, what I'm trying to say is for all intents and purposes, the money is his--his and his alone.

    It was weak of him to even offer the money for your studies. Don't get me wrong, I understand where that is coming from. But ffs, it's his money! Perhaps he was just being polite, but didn't really want to disappoint you by not offering it. Maybe that was the reason behind the offer. Well, whatever it was, making that offer and putting the burden of decision on you shows he's not comfortable making decisions--not even for his own money.

    And so... when you expressed your desire to use the money for your studies, he broke down and cried?! Wth! And on top of that, he pleaded with you that he really wants to see you?! :rotflmao:

    So anyways... I thought it's much better to let him decide on how to spend his money--and from the sounds of it, he prefer spending it visiting you. But after writing this response, and giving some thought about the whole thing, I realized just how pathetic this guy is. So I'm changing my mind. Take his money then dump this loser.

    You can then use the money either for your studies, or go buy some nice clothes...
  • hey it's his money, so technically he's supposed to be the one to decide :bop: probably he just don't want blame on himself that you did not allow him to go to manila, or miss you more :hmm:

    why not work while studying? call centers pay high and you may self support yourself, save up to lessen the months of seeing you :rotflmao:
  • BeerhandBopBeerhandBop PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    girl, i'd take the money and use it for education.

    it's LDR. it's not gonna last long, girl

    so might as well get something out of it.

    :)
  • try mong maging working student. me loan program ba yung school mo o baka me ibang organization jan na nag-ooffer ng loan. in case di kaya maka-secure talaga ng loan, i think magfile ka na lang ng LOA, tapos maghanap ka ng work para di masayang yung isang sem at makaipon ka na para sa susunod na sem. syemps patuloyin mo na yung pagbisita ng kasintahan mo. i see it as 1 step backward, 2 steps forward. pag nagawa mo to, di ka na masyadong magiging financially dependent sa family mo at hopefully tuloy-tuloy na ang pag-aaral mo and at the same time, mas magiging stable ang relationship nyo. ;)
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