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I got a crush on him... but what do I do????

What can girls do para mapansin sila ng crush nila? (and no it does not involve looking good with makeup ek ek)

A lot of times, guys would pretend they don't like you or act 'normal' around you because they don't know if you like them back or not. To a lot of girls, the anxiety in initiating a move towards a girl is a foreign concept, kasi they don't get to feel it a lot of times.

(There's another feeling in girls na almost foreign sa guys... but maybe that's for another day.)

So, shall we begin?

To guys, having the confidence to initiate a move (or sometimes even a conversation) is hard thing to achieve, especially because of the fear of rejection. So let's say you got a crush, but he's torpe. (That's alright btw. It's normal. Some of the best husbands and dads--for some reason--were torpe when they were young.) But how can you ease him to talk to you? And who knows, he could reveal he actually had a crush on you all along!

The key is to develop his confidence around you. In all scenarios I'm going to list below, keep in mind the perspective that it's there to instill confidence in him. Letting your guy be confident with you on something is, in some backward psychological sh1t, a turn on for him. And what turns you on more anyway? A confident guy or someone who's not? ... Right, you're getting it my little pumpkins.

And one last caveat: There's a subtle difference between initiating a move yourself towards a guy, (i.e., the so-called girls who pursue what they want) and what I'm talking about here. Here, you're simply setting up the necessary environment for HIM to initiate the move on you. Gets? If not, re-read this paragraph.


So, here's the list (this is by no means the only ones). There are literally an infinite # of ways to do this, but try to imagine yourself in the scenarios below, with the perspective of laying the ground work for the guy to make the move on you:

- One is to let him tell you a story about himself that he's proud of. To show that he's this 'great' guy. It might be a hike on the mountains where he battled the elements. Or it could be some geeky thing he accomplished. Or even a business idea he's trying to make happen. And whatever it is, try to show appreciation on what he's did or is trying to do. That should make him more confident in you.

- Let him teach you something--could be pool, or bowling, or even some class homework. And reward him after that. How? You can go for a hug (if you're comfortable with that), or a shoulder pat, or simply getting close to him physically, to show you're comfortable with him.

But I think the best one is to ask him to libre you on icecream (or coffee, etc.). This serves a lot of purpose. (a) it gauges if he's really into you. If he is, he'll light up and be eager to do it. If not, (kung hindi ka nga naman gusto, bakit ka pa niya ililibre?) he'll make excuses. (b) it gives the two of you a chance to get to know each other and, (c) you made him confident with you. He helped you on a homework, now that translates to him spending time with you. Awww, isn't that sweet?

- NoW, if the two of you are comfortable being around each other, you can take it up a notch. If you see an opening where you can make an excuse to lean into him, go for it. Sometimes, the mere physical closeness will give him confidence that you won't be rejecting him when he make the move. It's like showing that you feel safe whenever you're around him.

That it for now... Inaantok na ako e... Marami pang iba. Again, the idea here is to instill a confidence in him around you.

(Oh yeah, and please try to avoid looking desperate around your guy. Nothing kills off passion and make the guy run for the hills faster than a desperate woman. And besides, if he bites anyway, he's probably desperate as well... )

Comments

  • What do you do? Lead him on. Leave it to him to make the first "pasimple" moves, like starting a converstion with a casual/platonic pickup line, but help him follow through by holding up your end of the conversation. This will give him confidence to make bolder moves later. Many women are too proud to do this though.
  • Well, show him you're interested in subtle ways.
  • freshbabefreshbabe PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    what if the guy is "alaskador" , he picks on you...
    most of the time ... parang lagi kang binibida...

    pero i can tell HE'S ATTRACTED TO ME...
    he complimented my skin(kaming dalawa lang magkasama),
    my smile & the color that compliments my beauty (in a group)
    :D

    those people
    (who accidentaly knew that i sort of have a crush on him)
    teased us BOTH, my mentor even
    plot games just for us to be in physical contact,
    they thought that he secretly liked me too.
    before i left the company
    he did show concern &
    gave me THE BEST unsolicited
    advice kasi i was really confused if i have to leave or not...
    this guy even made me hear 1 song in his phone ("samson")
    & stared at me, yung feeling na dedicated sa kin...he did made it
    clear na he likes to be friends FIRST...
    when it came to a point na (on the spot kami) i felt
    frustrated kasi i want us to date...


    on my last day nagyaya siya merienda (group), he never
    offered a single cent ...i did pay for it..:rotflmao:
    even the number of times that i went lunch w/ him (group),
    nothing of that sort happened (manlibre)

    i thought he was making fun of me, when he started asking
    getting to know you questions, i wasn't serious
    answering it, thats the last time i heard from him.
    He went abroad to work, he told me before
    that he's goin back there.


    HE boast his accomplishments,
    kahit di tinatanong, he talks anything &
    everything about himself, i never told anything about me,
    if it isn't about himself, different topics that he chooses to discuss
    or mostly icebreaker jokes, or mang-alaska... ganun.


    ako naman, i think i
    instill confidence in him, para akong cheerleader na ...

    "oo nga
    maganda accomplishments mo, gwapo
    ka diyan, pero binabara ko din siya, at nababara ko naman,
    kapag nakukulitan nako masyado
    ...


    since day1 that i layed my eyes on him ...
    i found him attractive & 1st convo namin, siya nag-initiate
    (nagtanong lang ...magkano strepsils??)
    :rotflmao:

    we have chemistry (no girl can make him laugh &
    smile at that time), i feel insecure too, because he can have
    long serious chats with other girls except w/ me, though i have
    his full attention in a different light nga lang.


    i still feel that yearning, longing to spend time with him,
    still he slips in my mind, in my memory...

    its just too awkward to keep in touch (long distance),
    & that pitfall na magmukhang desperada...
  • nakakapagtaka sa pilipinas kung bakit ang lalaki dapat lagi ang gumawa ng moves tapos ang babae maghhntay lang na may manligaw sakanya haha

    sa japan at sa taiwan nanliligaw din ang babae sa lalaki , pati sa valentines day babae ang nagbibigay sa lalake

    just a thought hehe diba mas maganda ang society pag nanliligaw din ang babae?
  • TS you figured them wrong (mga torpe)....

    hindi naman talaga sila nahihiya sa trip nilang babae....
    nahihiya sila sa mga taong nakapaligid sa kanila...tropa na baka makantyawan sya...family members na mga alaskador...
    ang gawin mo dalhin mo sya sa isang tabi na walang makakakita sa inyo like sa kwarto mo...o kahit sa sala na lang para medyo proper ng konti...dun kayo mag-usap hanggang maging komportable sya sa yo...don't worry kasi sa umpisa matatakot yun hawakan ka...

    i should know kasi torpe rin ako nun....but like you said... that's why i'm a great Dad...:)
  • freshbabefreshbabe PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    walang bang mag-advice sa kin??? pakibasa na lang
    yung nobela ko sa taas... torpe ba siya?, di ganun ka

    interesado??

    binigyan ko lang ba ng meaning gestures niya,
    kasi ...crush ko siya??? or ako yung
    *****??? may mali ba akong nagawa???
  • yup tama ka ...ikaw yung *****.

    bakit kasi tinototoo mo yung mga binabasa mong nobela freshbabe?

    hindi naman bibliya ang sinulat ng author kundi isang nobela para sa iyong "enertainment."

    napakasimple naman ng problema mo....pinoproblema mo lang kung paano ka papanisinin ng lalaki!!??

    eh yung mga bata sa ibang panig ng mundo eh namomroblema kung saan sila kukuha ng pagkain...

    gusto mo mapansin ka ng lalaki dalhin mo sya sa kwarto at magh*bad ka sa harap nya...kung di ka pa nya pinansin ewan ko na lang???:bop: :bop:
  • BlisterBlister PEx Rookie ⭐
    freshbabe wrote: »
    walang bang mag-advice sa kin??? pakibasa na lang
    yung nobela ko sa taas...
    binasa ko pero I never thought na nanghihingi ka ng advice.

    akala ko nag mo-monologue ka :glee:
    torpe ba siya?,
    hindi
    di ganun ka interesado??
    interesado sya.

    masama kasi tumanggi sa grasya :glee:
    binigyan ko lang ba ng meaning gestures niya,
    kasi ...crush ko siya??? or ako yung
    *****??? may mali ba akong nagawa???
    ano ba gusto mo talaga mangyari?

    malaman mong crush ka nya then what?

    oo interesado sya sayo, but its pretty obvious na ayaw nya makipag commit sayo.

    thought bubble nya, I can do better than this girl.
  • freshbabefreshbabe PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    munkytek wrote: »
    yup tama ka ...ikaw yung *****.

    bakit kasi tinototoo mo yung mga binabasa mong nobela freshbabe?

    hindi naman bibliya ang sinulat ng author kundi isang nobela para sa iyong "enertainment."

    napakasimple naman ng problema mo....pinoproblema mo lang kung paano ka papanisinin ng lalaki!!??

    eh yung mga bata sa ibang panig ng mundo eh namomroblema kung saan sila kukuha ng pagkain...

    gusto mo mapansin ka ng lalaki dalhin mo sya sa kwarto at magh*bad ka sa harap nya...kung di ka pa nya pinansin ewan ko na lang???:bop: :bop:

    sorry HINDI YAN ANG PROBLEMA KO... (magpapansin sa lalaki???)
    kabaligtaran niyan...:angry: nasobrahan nga ko ng attention
    eh...
    at di ko kasi mabasa ang motibo niya... TORPE or INTERESADO...
    kasi crush ko yung tao.

    pero atleast may sensible advice akong nakuha kay BLISTER.

    salamat... yan din ang impression ko... commitment phoebe
    siya, i don't blame him he has a complicated past.

    salamat sa advice!!!
  • ^^o sige na nga sorry na... tingnan mo kung nagtatagalog ka naiintindihan ka ng maganda...pasikot-sikot kasi ang mga ingles mo eh...

    anyway, 2008 na ngayon at hindi na abnormal ang babae ang gumagawa ng 'moves'...naniniwala ako na kung may gusto kang malaman kailangan magtanong ka..kesa naman panay ang haka-haka mo...
    kahit naman sino ang tanungin mo dito sa PEx di naman talaga nila masasagot yang tanong mo yung TALAGANG MASASAGOT ha.
    sabihin mo na sa kanya yung gusto mong iparating kung umayaw sya
    mas ok yun kesa pilitin mo yung relasyon..kasi crush mo sya... pinoy sayings...maasim ang manggang hinog sa kalburo..

    binasa mo ba yung last part ng 'advice' sa yo ni Blister?? "he can do better than you.." naisip mo na ba kung bakit nya pwedeng isipin to?

    baka naman ini-ingles mo rin sya kaya ka nya di maintindihan...basta kung may gusto kang malaman magtanong ka diretso sa taong involved..hindi kung kani-kanino na hindi naman kilala yang kinukwento mong tao...hindi naman registered shrink ang mga tao dito sa PEx...

    haayyyy!!! Puppy Love....
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