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Unreasonably strict parents?

You are already in your 20s, mid 20s to be precise, earning your own money that allows you to buy things on your own BUT you are still living with your parents (because you still can't afford to have a place of your own). Do you think parents who still keep a close eye on every thing you do are being reasonable? I get that you are still UNDER their roof, therefore under their rules BUT isn't it about time they realize you are no longer YOUNG and that you are already an ADULT?
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  • are you describing MY parents :lol:
  • DunedainDunedain PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    You are already in your 20s, mid 20s to be precise, earning your own money that allows you to buy things on your own BUT you are still living with your parents (because you still can't afford to have a place of your own). Do you think parents who still keep a close eye on every thing you do are being reasonable? I get that you are still UNDER their roof, therefore under their rules BUT isn't it about time they realize you are no longer YOUNG and that you are already an ADULT?

    Even if you insist that you're already an adult, there's still the question of responsibility as well as independence.
  • if you are already earning then you should be able to afford to rent your own apartment , that way you have control over your life. That is just a taste of you alone , what more if your in-laws live with you when you're married? :))
  • Ice BurnIce Burn PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    No matter what you do, your parents will always treat you like a kid. If you want to be treated like an adult move out.

    Right now, me and hubby are "squatting" at my parents house till the condo we are moving into is ready and it's a pain. My parents treat me and my husband like kids. My mother usurps me at raising my son and I can't say anything about it because a) we are squatting at their house right now b) she's my mother and c) my son is her 1st grandchild.
  • In the end, the primary issue here is money. Even if I am already earning it, the salary is not enough to secure me a place of my own. Of course, aside from allocating budget for your place, food, and leisure, you also want to SAVE up for your future. With the current salary I have, it's almost impossible to live on my own and at the same time make my bank account fatter.
  • You are already in your 20s, mid 20s to be precise, earning your own money that allows you to buy things on your own BUT you are still living with your parents (because you still can't afford to have a place of your own). Do you think parents who still keep a close eye on every thing you do are being reasonable? I get that you are still UNDER their roof, therefore under their rules BUT isn't it about time they realize you are no longer YOUNG and that you are already an ADULT?

    I'm worse.

    You are already in your 20s, mid 20s to be precise (I'M 25), earning your own money that allows you to buy things on your own BUT you are still living with your parents (because you still can't afford to have a place of your own) (I CAN AFFORD IT! I'M EARNING 45 ****ING THOUSAND PER MONTH EXCLUDING BONUSES!!!). Do you think parents who still keep a close eye on every thing you do are being reasonable? I get that you are still UNDER their roof, therefore under their rules BUT isn't it about time they realize you are no longer YOUNG and that you are already an ADULT?

    *** Of course my parents are sick so I have to take care of them. Kami 2 ng kapatid ko. I just hate it when they have to set a curfew on me. Kasi first of all, my work is so overwhelming, I need to extend hours. Second, I want to go to the gym which they don't understand. Finally, I need a social life. I am earning a lot pero wala man lang akong date!? It's not as if I am not goodlooking noh. Hahaha! :rotflmao: :bop:
  • ^^^
    Hint naman diyan. Mukhang naging interesado tuloy ako sa nature of work mo ;p Kung may ganyang pera ako, tingin ko pwede na ako mag move out.
  • ~gIrLnXtDoOr~~gIrLnXtDoOr~ PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    how 'unreasonably strict' are your parents?
    you know, parents can't really help it. kahit adults na tayong mga anak nila, they'll always think of us as kids.
    intindihin mo na lang. it's their way of showing they care eh.

    ako nga noon, kahit mid-20s na, bawal pa rin makipagtelebabad sa then-boyfriend ko! (now my hubby). parang high school no.. umabot lang ng 30 mins ang kwentuhan namen naku nagpaparinig na mom ko.. lalo na pag umabot ng 1 hr huh! talagang hindi sya aalis hanggat hindi ko binababa ung phone :bop:
    or kapag mag-12mn na at nasa house pa si bf, pauuwiin na. he's not allowed to sleep at our house, kahit na late na or malakas ang ulan..hehe (take note: im from makati, he's from LAGUNA pa ha)

    just like you, hindi ako makaalis ng bahay. buti ka nga dahil sa salary, eh ako, ayaw ako payagan ng parents ko mag-move out (!) pag may asawa na daw ako pwede umalis sa poder nila. :rolleyes: :D
    they're very traditional and conservative.

    what i did was worked abroad.. hehe .. that's the time that i really had a taste of independence. try mo :)

    weird thing is, now i have my own family, wala na sa poder nila, i kinda miss being with my parents.. kahit na sobrang strict sila saken noon
  • ^^^^
    That's really the plan. Save up. Stick around for a little longer living with my parents. Then I am headed offshore.

    I hope everything goes as planned.
  • DunedainDunedain PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    ^^^
    Hint naman diyan. Mukhang naging interesado tuloy ako sa nature of work mo ;p Kung may ganyang pera ako, tingin ko pwede na ako mag move out.

    Not necessarily. When I fist moved out from my parents (at the age of 22), all I had in pocket was US$500 equivalent. But thankfully, I was able to land a job outside Pinas, company who expatriated me paid for everything, and worked out the rest when I first landed. Company was also kind enough to give me a loan payable within 2-4 months with no interest.

    Same goes when I moved to the US. I was directly expatriated but all I have in my pocket was US$800. I was temporarily housed at a co-worker's place for a month then found a low priced apartment near the workplace. I've been with the same company a little over 8 years already.

    Money isn't necessarily the solution. It's more of the security that you want to ensure for yourself like your career and how long can you stay in it. The money will follow. Nothing will be pretty at first. But the best way to find out how things work is to start at the bottom of the barrel and climb up. You'll also understand the value of work and it's rewards.
  • froshie1froshie1 PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    You are already in your 20s, mid 20s to be precise, earning your own money that allows you to buy things on your own BUT you are still living with your parents (because you still can't afford to have a place of your own). Do you think parents who still keep a close eye on every thing you do are being reasonable? I get that you are still UNDER their roof, therefore under their rules BUT isn't it about time they realize you are no longer YOUNG and that you are already an ADULT?

    details please.. how unreasonable is unreasonable to you? sa tingin ko hindi naman sa pera yan eh. magpasalamat ka may magulang kang ganyan ibig sabihin they care for you.

    anyway details please.
  • baklitabaklita PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    ...Do you think parents who still keep a close eye on every thing you do are being reasonable? I get that you are still UNDER their roof, therefore under their rules BUT isn't it about time they realize you are no longer YOUNG and that you are already an ADULT?




    it comes with territory. hindi mawalay sa kanila bilang mga magulang
    at ikaw bilang anak regardless of your age... nasa kanila ka man o
    hindi. living life on your own... katulad ng pagrenta ng apartment...
    would suffice you to enjoy more your independence without your
    parents' involvment. magsolo ka na! magsolo ka!! lintek!!

    aihihihi!!! :)

    baklita


  • if you are already earning then you should be able to afford to rent your own apartment , that way you have control over your life.

    that's unfair dude. how about kaming mga construction boys lang? minimum wage lang kame. i don't want to rent cheap shi't apartment bro. gusto ko ng condo sa makati. :D
  • Wow it's like I'm reading my life! :bop: Are you an only son/daughter? :)

    I've had the exact same issues ever since I started working. The parental units suddenly had these expectations from me, and although they're quite trivial (nothing like paying utilities), I didn't take it as lightly as they had expected and it really caused a rift for a while there. One argument involved me telling them that had I been able to afford rent, then I would've probably moved out already. That didn't really sit well with them since they obviously disliked that idea, not that I was serious about it because I didn't want to (move out) if my sole reason was to only rid my everyday life of their constant nitpicking.

    Living without the simple luxuries is something I'm not yet ready to go through. It's not like the average employee can afford rent, utilities, and food while maintaining a car -- unlike in the States. So, as a compromise, they'll loosen their grip in exchange for a little more freedom and trust.
  • clawed_outclawed_out PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    Unreasonably strict parents have kids with no spine.

    You can't reason at all? Reasoning is different from disrespecting.

    And bottom line: My house, my rules. If you're my kid,you better follow some house rules or get out.

    It is that easy.
  • rayzlerayzle PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    i can relate to TS. minsan naiisip ko rin magsolo pero di talaga praktikal kasi nakapa praktikal kong tao sa lahat ng bagay. nung time na naisip ko na kaya ko na buhayin ang sarili ko, napaka importante saken ng freedom at ayoko ng merong nagdidikta sa mga ginagawa ko at kailangan busisiin. pero i think that's one solution. i can't change my mom(maybe dahil sa aging na sya) and andun pa rin ang ego ng magulang. minsan they couldn't see na lumalaki na pala ang mga anak nila and tingin pa rin sa'yo eh musmos na bata. now i realize, i can't blame her for that coz she's my mom.
  • hmmm.. sounds like my mom..

    though my sweldo is not that much (savings aside) i pay for my own phone bill, my gas and savings for the new venture im planning out with a few friends.

    though occasionally i have to borrow (kesa glawin ang savings) i try to live within my means. the responsiblity for car maintenance though is still with them (they volunteered)

    still living with them but i maintain my own room. meaning, i pay for some of the utilities, buy my own groceries and food (though she buys too) and clean after myself.

    bottomline, pinabayaan din ako magisa hehe. wala nang tinitignan pa sino tumatawag sa phone ko, sino kausap ko sa phone, sino katext ko at kung magkano na pera ko sa bangko. dehins na din ako pinakikialaman sa love life, friend life at ano ano pang parte ng life ko. though she still forces some of the things she wants for me na ayaw ko gawin, pero ala na sya magagawa e. though i want to have a condo of my own (i want it with my partner though..) my dad begged of for me to stay in our paranaque house with them for a couple of years on a deal he'd pay for my condo.. ayos! libre pabahay showcase! hehehe
  • my parents were unreasonably strict with me when i was still in high school. i wasn't allowed to stay out beyond 7 pm at kahit nakikipag-inuman lang ako with my friends at my classmate's house na katapat lang ng bahay namin, pinapauwi ako agad. my mother really hated my first girlfriend na pag nalaman nyang we were hanging out after school at talagang nagba-bike pa xia para hanapin ako at pauwiin, kung anu-ano pa sinasabi *** dun sa gf ko. i was around 15 then pero pinapalo pa din ako ng panggatong when i break any of their stup!d rules. that's the reason why i really insisted on studying in manila to get away from them.

    what i don't understand is, di sila ganun sa younger brother ko. bukod sa lagi silang nasa principal's office, lagi ding madaling araw kung umuwi yung kapatid ko. i'm not that saying that my siblings should have gone through the same ordeal but i still can't rationalize why sa akin lang sila naging ganun. dahil ba panganay ako, sa akin sila nag-experiment ng pagdidisiplina? since my brother didn't excel in school, ok lang na pabayaan ***? at sakin, dahil worried sila na magloko ako at matulad sa mga kaibigan kong tambay?

    i love my parents but i still harbor vestiges of hatred against them. madaming bagay na tipong kinalimutan na ng lahat pero nakatatak pa din sa isip ko.
  • hedonist wrote: »
    my parents were unreasonably strict with me when i was still in high school. i wasn't allowed to stay out beyond 7 pm at kahit nakikipag-inuman lang ako with my friends at my classmate's house na katapat lang ng bahay namin, pinapauwi ako agad. my mother really hated my first girlfriend na pag nalaman nyang we were hanging out after school at talagang nagba-bike pa xia para hanapin ako at pauwiin, kung anu-ano pa sinasabi *** dun sa gf ko. i was around 15 then pero pinapalo pa din ako ng panggatong when i break any of their stup!d rules. that's the reason why i really insisted on studying in manila to get away from them.

    what i don't understand is, di sila ganun sa younger brother ko. bukod sa lagi silang nasa principal's office, lagi ding madaling araw kung umuwi yung kapatid ko. i'm not that saying that my siblings should have gone through the same ordeal but i still can't rationalize why sa akin lang sila naging ganun. dahil ba panganay ako, sa akin sila nag-experiment ng pagdidisiplina? since my brother didn't excel in school, ok lang na pabayaan ***? at sakin, dahil worried sila na magloko ako at matulad sa mga kaibigan kong tambay?

    i love my parents but i still harbor vestiges of hatred against them. madaming bagay na tipong kinalimutan na ng lahat pero nakatatak pa din sa isip ko.


    same thing.. but harboring ill feelings dont help. di naman na mababalik yan e. i dont know sa case mo but in my case, umabot pa sa time na pag ako may bibilhin na gamit, ex. car when my car broke down, camera, cp from mom and dad, kapatid ko may liscence na magdabog at magalit pag naiingit (mind you mas matanda to kesa sakin a, ako *** bunso) to the point na ibibili *** *** mas mahal or mas maganda para maapease ***. Tapos *** kapatid ko na un ang usual cause pa ng kung bakit masama loob sakin ng mom ko kasi naggagawa ng kwento na pangit ugali ko or such (kadalasan pa *** ang nagprovoke), or aabusuhin *** "favors and privileges of being panganay" such as pede *** gamitin lahat ng gamit ko. laging rason nila is panganay *** e.

    pero minsan kasi you just have to show na mas mature ka kesa sa kanila. like *** kapatid ko pare, nung lumaki ang kinikita ko kesa sa kanya, binigyan *** doble pa sa sweldo ko. pero lahat naman ginagastos sa sasakyan ***. isipin mo nlang pare mas ok *** magiging future mo kasi kahit papano e ikaw naiidentify mo mga dapat mong gawin. minsan nga kahit pa paboritong anak pa yan ng papa ko, sinabihan ako nung isang beses nung pinagmaneho ko *** na walang direksyon buhay ng kapatid ko e, 24 going 25 wala pa daw gustong gawin sa buhay.

    pede din tanggapin mo na sa sarili mo paborito nila bunso (baliktad sakin, paborito panganay) pero on the bright side, at least ngayon kaya mo mabuhay magisa dito sa maynila di ba? wag mo na isipin brad mga ginagawa nila sa kapatid mo, sasama lang loob mo, importante, tuparin mo mga plano mo sa buhay

    ayos?! hehe *okay*
  • gymrat23 wrote: »
    same thing.. but harboring ill feelings dont help. di naman na mababalik yan e. i dont know sa case mo but in my case, umabot pa sa time na pag ako may bibilhin na gamit, ex. car when my car broke down, camera, cp from mom and dad, kapatid ko may liscence na magdabog at magalit pag naiingit (mind you mas matanda to kesa sakin a, ako *** bunso) to the point na ibibili *** *** mas mahal or mas maganda para maapease ***. Tapos *** kapatid ko na ** ang usual cause pa ng kung bakit masama loob sakin ng mom ko kasi naggagawa ng kwento na pangit ugali ko or such (kadalasan pa *** ang nagprovoke), or aabusuhin *** "favors and privileges of being panganay" such as pede *** gamitin lahat ng gamit ko. laging rason nila is panganay *** e.

    pero minsan kasi you just have to show na mas mature ka kesa sa kanila. like *** kapatid ko pare, nung lumaki ang kinikita ko kesa sa kanya, binigyan *** doble pa sa sweldo ko. pero lahat naman ginagastos sa sasakyan ***. isipin mo nlang pare mas ok *** magiging future mo kasi kahit papano e ikaw naiidentify mo mga dapat mong gawin. minsan nga kahit pa paboritong anak pa yan ng papa ko, sinabihan ako nung isang beses nung pinagmaneho ko *** na walang direksyon buhay ng kapatid ko e, 24 going 25 wala pa daw gustong gawin sa buhay.

    pede din tanggapin mo na sa sarili mo paborito nila bunso (baliktad sakin, paborito panganay) pero on the bright side, at least ngayon kaya mo mabuhay magisa dito sa maynila di ba? wag mo na isipin brad mga ginagawa nila sa kapatid mo, sasama lang loob mo, importante, tuparin mo mga plano mo sa buhay

    ayos?! hehe *okay*

    pare, in my case, i started working at 20 and i thought the situation would change nung nagbibigay na ako for their expenses, yet pakiramdam ko di nila na-appreciate mga ginagawa ko for them. i was able to land a job abroad without asking for a penny from them. my father has work and my mother has her own business but for some reason, lagi silang walang pera at nababaon sa utang. i helped sent my brother to college and i paid all his expenses para makapag-abroad din sya. currently, i'm sending my sister to college.

    the money my brother is sending them is kept in the bank while yung sakin wala, lagi pang me reklamo at kulang. mapa-100, 200 or 300 USD, kulang. our house is in a bad shape at pag nagpapadala ako for renovation, they would tell me na ok na, me ganito na, ganun only to find out na kahit isang steel bar, wala. nung nagbakasyon ako, nakakalungkot makita na after almost after 2 years of sending them money e ganun pa din buhay nila.

    magaling din sa emotional blackmail mama ko, she wouldn't take my calls and all pag galit sya at di ako nagbigay. sa mga kagaya ko na nasa ibang lugar, alone, sa family ka lang kukuha ng lakas to fight homesickness and yet ganito. pag nagkekwento ako na minsan walang-wala akong pera to the point na catsup lang ulam ko, they wouldn't believe me.

    sometimes i feel so sad about my life but i'm not the type who'd cry over things like that.

    despite that, eto pa din ako, dakilang anak at kuya. wala e, responsibilidad daw bilang panganay. bollocks.
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