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Married na pala yung mahal ko... but I still love him.

I met this British guy over the net few months ago and I completely fell in love with him. He was planning to let me follow him in Thailand for his business trip in September. Until he sent me this email.

"I think the main reason for why it has taken me so long to write this e-mail is not to hang you out to dry and leave you hanging in suspense but how and where I even try to begin.

I suppose I have no alternative but not to beat about the bush and just come out with it right from the off. Yes I am married!

It is not at this point where whatever I write I don’t expect you to read as I am pretty damn sure this e-mail will now have been deleted, my name cursed a million times, your friends boasting they told ya so and you feeling let down and humiliated in the worse possible way.

If by some miracle you are still continuing to read on which I sincerely hope you are I can guarantee you hand on heart that everything else I have told you is 100% true and no other lies have been told and apart from this. I have always been honest and upfront with you and as I now have nothing to lose by hanging myself out to dry like this I hope you do believe me in what else I have to say as what other reason could I possibly have for wanting to lie.

I have decided to come clean and tell you the truth for one reason only and that is because of my love for you. It has been hurting me for months keeping this secret from you and it has got to the point where my love for you is so great that I would rather lose you and you end up hating me than for me to have to continue to lie to you.

Ok so now I need to explain why I even entertained it in the first place and why is a married guy even getting involved with another woman. Well when you first messaged me on yahoo completely out of the blue I had no idea who you were and how you had my details. After the first time we chatted and spoke
I honestly wholeheartedly never expected to hear from you again and certainly did not ever in the slightest expect to fall so deeply in love with someone and them reciprocate those exact same feelings back towards me.

I was also at the time happily married and was someone who never believed it was ever possible to fall in love with more than one person. Hey guess what goes to show just how little I f**king know about anything.

Well I suppose the rest is common knowledge, the more we spoke the closer we got the more we shared intimate feelings with each other and the more I fell in love with you. I have even tried to force myself in giving you up which was why I disappeared for those 3 weeks and hey guess what I could not do it.
All I now know is that I love you so much and want to be with you yet I find myself confused as hell as I have a lovely wife that I share my life with yet there is this person I have never met, yet have unbelievable feelings for as strong if not stronger than the person I am with, which leaves me questioning just how magnificent could it be.

I hate myself because I know this is going to upset you and I know you are going to hate me and I know you will not forgive for this and I know I have f**ked you about and messed things up for you as well and you know what I can’t blame or begrudge you in anyway feeling like this.

I must have read this e-mail over 100 times, I keep trying to word it differently but no matter how much I play with words it all boils down to one thing and that is I lied and f**ked this up completely on my own and is all my doing. Had I not lied from the start we would not have got to this stage now but in a perverse way I am glad I lied because even knowing this is the end I would never have had the opportunity to experience what I have with you and therefore will always treasure what we did have and will never forget it either.

I will still send you your birthday card and a little something from me, what you do with it is your business.

I guess now all I can do is sit down completely tied in knots hoping wondering wanting to hear from you but I am sure if I do it will be to a barrage of abuse. I have deleted you from my contacts on msn and yahoo and I have deleted all the pictures you sent me. You will not hear from me again unless you contact me which I so dearly would love you to but I am a realist and know that is very unlikely.

I am sorry for embarrassing you in front of your friends but ***** was WRONG
I was not after you for your body I was after you for you and your inner beauty.

Wow so I have finally done it, I am nervous as hell and have been sitting here s**tting myself clicking the send button. Yeap I even thought about deleting all the above and continuing lying to you but I just can’t do it, you deserve so much more than that and this is why I am coming clean purely and only because I do love you and you do mean the world to me. If you did not I would continue to lie that would be to easy to do.

Love you with all heart for whatever that is now worth.

The biggest s**t head in the world

ME !"

I know it's wrong to continue with what we have but I love him so much. Para ko na syang bestfriend, I can tell him everything and anything and he's always there to listen to me when I have problems. He's only 32 and very good looking, the first reason why I started to fall for him. Tapos nalaman ko pa kung gano sya katalino tsaka ka matured. Sobrang mahal ko sya, pero alam kong mali. Pero parang gusto ko pa din sya balikan kahit alam ko na yung totoo. Help naman po. Dapat ba o hindi na mahalin ko pa din sya and to contact him????

Comments

  • Naruto KunNaruto Kun Member PExer
    baliw ka rin pala e. kalimutan na yan at move on. bata ka pa. ang dami pang pwede dyan. haba pa ng sulat ng kolokoy e panloloko lang naman ang ginawa.
  • sweetwahmsweetwahm Just Another PExer ✭✭
    Question: You met him online.. meaning you haven't met in person yet?
  • AnGeLniEjayAnGeLniEjay Member PExer
    No we haven't met yet. Sa webcam lang kami nagkikita. Ang balak nga kasi nya either sya yung pupunta ng manila o susunod ako ng thailand. I know he lied but I felt the sincerity naman eh. Tsaka yun nga mahal ko talaga.
  • baklitabaklita taas kilay PExer


    iuntog mo ulo mo sa sungay ng kalabaw... sakaling matauhan ka.
    kung gusto mo ang kumplikasyon... maging kabit, patago-tago at
    ipagtsismis dahil sayong wlang respeto sa marriage... kumapit ka
    sa kanya.

    may nakilala akong kabit... tinaga at pinagsaksak ng asawa ng lalake.

    aihihihi!!! :)

    baklita


  • st.angerst.anger Domo! ✭✭✭
    let him go. he gave you the opening to make the right (or easier) choice.
  • infinite_trialinfinite_trial ♥ Drayer PExer
    walang dapat ipanghinayang. you haven't met him yet and most of all...he's married. you should be thankful he told you this before you agreed to meet him. since he already deleted you from his contact list, you should do the same thing...and move on.
  • bored2deathbored2death AlmostOverYou! ✭✭✭
    sincerity? saan?

    hija, believe me, you're not the only woman na pinadalhan nya ng i love you e-mail...you're such a sucker.:bop:

    log off time sweetie.
  • addicted13addicted13 Member PExer
    time to let go.kakaloka. ndi mo pa nameet eh. wala yan. nagwapuhan ka lang sa kanya kaya nacoconfuse ka. burahin mo na din lahat ng pics nya at sa contacts mo.

    hanap ka na lang ng mas realistic na relasyon. ung makaka-date mo at syempre ung hindi kasal!
  • whine23whine23 ^_^ PExer
    their suggestions have a point dear.. you haven't met personally yet, so how can you be so sure that he's sincere.. you don't know what he's thinking while writing that e-mail.. it is very touching, yes indeed, but is it enough to be mistress? can you live with that?
  • baredevil696baredevil696 Underworlder PExer
    Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezus!!!
  • soltera81soltera81 A little bit of everything ✭✭
    I really can't understand how some people could say that they are in love with someone they haven't met in person.

    You were the first one to send him a message? You're one of those who are aiming so badly to have a relationship with foreigners. Oh well, regardless. Hija, get over with whatever is it that you have for him. He was wise enough to delete you from his contacts and delete all the pictures you sent him. If those were really true.

    Your wretchedness would be up to you. Get a hobby. Have a good career. Don't complicate your life. Have a good one.
  • AnGeLniEjayAnGeLniEjay Member PExer
    Naisip ko na din yan. Na it's better kung yung mahal ko nayayakap at nahahawakan ko. He became like my bestfriend kasi kaya mahirap sya mawala. Yes I was the one who first messaged him but that's because I didn't know he is a foreigner. I never really liked them. I get to talk to foreigners almost everyday with my job and I never really liked talking to them. He's is just someone very different.
  • francismilesfrancismiles Member PExer
    back off while you still can...
  • sweetwahmsweetwahm Just Another PExer ✭✭
    Naisip ko na din yan. Na it's better kung yung mahal ko nayayakap at nahahawakan ko. He became like my bestfriend kasi kaya mahirap sya mawala. Yes I was the one who first messaged him but that's because I didn't know he is a foreigner. I never really liked them. I get to talk to foreigners almost everyday with my job and I never really liked talking to them. He's is just someone very different.

    Just because he gave you the time of day? If you think of him as your best friend, can you honestly say he feels that way for you? Let alone pa kaya ang feelings of love! Baka naman sabi-sabi nya lang yan. Not to put down online relationships, but where that is concerned, I believe you need get to know each other a lot more lalo na in person. Yes, the feelings may have developed online, but to say you are really in love... well, you need more time together to really say that.

    But what the heck... he's married. So there's really no point in meeting him in the flesh at all, is there?
  • Baby_LeechBaby_Leech sycophant PExer
    ang haba haba ng email.

    pero summary:
    tanggapin mo na makikipag relasyon ako sayo pero di ko iiwan asawa ko.
    at wag mo ako sisisihin sa huli, dahil hindi kita pinilit gawin to. :glee:

    pakunsensya pa ang kumag
  • jhonnzjhonnz Member PExer
    hmmm taas ng email nya. eto may summary din ako...

    "im married and i think im in love with you too that's why im guilty for not telling you this. in case you want to be my mistress i'd be happy to have you.. don't worry i'll take care of you and we'll just see where this relationship goes. if you're really a good **** i'd be happy to be your sugar daddy. if you'd accept my offer just msg me anytime. the biggest s**t head in the world"

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