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break up day

Brix99Brix99 PEx Rookie ⭐
My gf and i just formally broke up today. Ending a four year relationship. I don't want to talk about the reasons I just want to release some of the pain in my heart right now. I feel that my world has been torn apart to see all my dreams and aspirations built around the two of us just end like that.

I'm afraid to to go to places we've been because it would remind of the happy days when we were still together and I'm more afraid that I will never find someone that can love me and who I can love that much. Everything is like a burden now... sleeping and waking up to this reality. I cannot be more uninspired to go to work.

It's even harder now that I don't have that much of a life to go back to... my closest friends have gone abroad, i hate most of my officemates, and I don't want to trouble my family about my problem.

So now here I am anonymous people... needing more than a "kaya mo yan" advice... help me. :mecry:
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Comments

  • purpleheadd07purpleheadd07 PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    ^^dude, isipin mo na lang, some people didn't have that four years that you have. at least you had that chance of being happy with her. sabi nga eh in this chaotic world, even a day or a moment of being happy is a miracle in itself...some things just come to an end...you're not the only one who's hurting, who's heart has been broken...if you ask my nega heart i'd don't really believe anyone is ever happy, c'mon look around you, ask around hahaha sorry. :D

    really, stay with the feeling of being sad, mourn a bit, acknowledge ur sadness. with that kse you can slowly move on, gather the pieces, find yourself whole again...haay, some people takes days for them to recover, for some much longer, some don't at all pero choice din nila yun...haaay sarap ma in love di ba. even if it hurts now you should still feel good about yourself kse you are capable pala of loving someone and being happy with that someone....maya maya nyan makakahanap ka din ng iba. ;) kung wala ka man mahanap, well, sabi nga nila some people are just not meant to be married har-har! :)
  • dude. i know what you're going through. my gf of 6 years and i have also broken up earlier this year.

    at first, it was really hard. after 6 years, i forgot what it was like not having anyone in my life. it was kind of strange spending more time at home instead of going to her place around 4 times a week. no more picking her up on the weekends for our dates and other commitments. no more phone calls or text messages just to say good morning, take care and good night...

    to compound matters, we've decided to remain friends because we realize that although we may not have worked as a couple, we certainly clicked as buddies. and it's true. in fact, we are currently taking the friendship route. baby steps nga lang. coffee here and there, kamustahan ng mga pamilya, hiraman ng mga gamit, etc. mahirap talaga nung umpisa kasi may feelings pa. we still love each other. yun nga lang, we realized that, after all this time, di talaga kami compatible at hindi rin kami magkakasundo sa future. sabi nga nila, love is never enough.

    pero after almost half a year, believe me, pare.... the break up was for the best. ma-re-realize mo rin yan. either maiisip mo na hindi talaga kayo para sa isa't isa or mas ma-re-realize nyo ang worth ng other person sa inyo. in my case, natanggap ko na talagang hindi kami para sa isa't isa, and i am glad that we found out before it's too late. may plano pa naman kaming magpakasal na next year. could you imagin if this realization came AFTER the wedding?

    ang suggestion ko lang, dude... take this opportunity to reflect and look back at what this relationship has done for you, take in the good and learn from the bad. more importantly, take this opportunity to rediscover yourself and get to know yourself better.

    ako nga, nagulat ako sa tibay ng pagkatao ko. before, i used to think na i would cry like a little girl every night kung maghiwalay kami. it turned out that i didn't. ang tigas ko pala. and i'm actually surprised at how well i handled it, especially during the first few months. sa totoo lang, i'm mighty pleased of the things i discovered about me.


    pare, nakakabobo mang marinig pero... kaya mo yan. she doesn't define who you are. you will get over her. maraming iba dyan. baka hindi lang talaga sya para sa yo.

    God bless, pre.
  • Brix99Brix99 PEx Rookie ⭐
    @purpleheadd07

    thanks ma'am... i'm sure you're speaking from experience.... i'm a cynic and i couldn't be more cynical now.
  • purpleheadd07purpleheadd07 PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    na inspire ako to post this song on my blog...am pretty sure you could relate :)

    PS..the one in youtube ha...i can give you the mp3 if you want ;)
  • Brix99Brix99 PEx Rookie ⭐
    @purpleheadd07
    yes please do so... thanks a lot for the help.

    @bluewing
    dude you've inspired me... pero the friendship route is not the best way for me i think... maybe some couples who breaks up arent even meant to be friends. God bless to you too and thanks.
  • thanks bluewing for that inpsiring post :mecry:


    ..its been 2 weeks since me and my bf broke up and til now.. im still in pain but i know, in God's time, i will heal.. i dont know how to be strong to overcome this and even struggling to survive every day without him....:depressed:
  • JongaJonga PExer
    man, just one girl? sheesh

    here's what i did, the first few weeks after we broke up, i tried to get everything i can get out of her....sayang e :D
    joke

    it feels much better if you focus on anger rather than misery, well that worked well for me and im strong as ever ;)

    if you are in misery, you look like a loser
    if you are angry, you're an *****$hole

    id rather be an *****$hole rather than be a loser
    :D
  • ^^been trying to do that but it doesnt work for me
  • thanks bluewing for that inpsiring post :mecry:


    ..its been 2 weeks since me and my bf broke up and til now.. im still in pain but i know, in God's time, i will heal.. i dont know how to be strong to overcome this and even struggling to survive every day without him....:depressed:



    swerte lang din na supportive mga kaibigan ko. walang nagsabi ng negative things or anything. basta they respected our decision...

    btw, may bagong boyfriend na yung ex ko. and i'm ok with it. though i don't ever see myself being friends with or hanging out with the guy or having drinks with him, i welcomed this development and just decided to be happy for her.

    as for me, well... i couldn't be happier. i'm actually quite amazed at how things worked out and how impeccable the timing was. you see, after we broke up, i had a lot of free time to spend with my friends and co-workers. it's during one of these extended after-work gimiks that i began to see one particular officemate in a new light. kasi when i was in a relationship, medyo parang may tapalado ang mata ko at hindi ako tumitingin sa iba. so being single allowed me to look at other women freely and more objectively. at first, i was just amused at how charming and endearing my officemate was. eventually, i found myself spending more and more time with her, until i faced the reality na in love na ako sa kanya. and it's quite a feeling. i haven't felt like this in... 6 years. nakaka-miss yung mga kilig moments at yung mga scenario na nagpapakiramdaman kayo...

    so you see, it ain't all bad. ika nga ni fraulein maria, when God closes a door, he always opens a window... this promise of finding a new love should be something to look forward to in your case... i know na may mga stage na iisipin nyong "wala ka nang ibang mamahalin..." believe me, that's not necessarily true.... sometimes, your new love might turn out to be the love of your life... and if only for that, then all the pain and heartbreak you're going through are all worth it...
  • Brix99Brix99 PEx Rookie ⭐
    @BiTteR_GoDdEsS

    sorry to hear about that... ang hirap talaga.. minsan tuliro na lang ako sa opisina pag naalala ko ang ex-gf (*ouch* still not used to saying that) ko.... i'm drowning myself with my work as much as i can but when i get home with no one to call and say goodnight to... yun lang balik miserable nanaman.

    @bluewing
    in our case maybe it's too early for us to even realize the possibility of finding a new love but that is really something to look forward to... i just hope that i haven't lost my faith in true love by that time.

    @purpleheadd07
    thanks for talking to me last night...like you said it's a blessing to find people to talk to about this. i couldn't thank you more (and that goes to bluewing also).
  • Ive been there, more than four years kami ng ex ko when we finally agreed to end our relationship as partners. Though it wasnt my first relationship, I really didnt know what to do. At first, I tried to hide it from my family because I dont want to bother them of my personal problems, even my close friends were asking me questions but I tried to keep my mouth shut and just continue with my regular day (home, work, home). In short sinarili ko yung problema. Pero as they say, makakahalata din ang pamilya mo once something is wrong with you. After three weeks, they found out what happened and just supported me for whatever decision i have made.

    We also have the same scenario, I was afraid of doing the things that we used to do together, going to places where we usually hang-out, even doing my work in the office because all I remember was my ex. But as they say, time heals all wounds, though sometimes, it will leave a scar.

    Give yourself some time, do things that is new for you, find an outlet where you can release your emotions. If you are really not meant for each other, you will find someone that is just right for you. :)
  • aieeaiee PExer
    same here. when my bf and i broke up, after 4 1/2 years of being together... i learned...oh well this may sound crappy but those places we used to hang out with, pinuntahan ko... to overcome and ipamukha sakin na"hey, it didnt work, pero at least you had a good one".... through that naovercome ko yung pain.

    the things he gave me, nilagay ko sa box, wala akong tinira... pinatago ko sa cabinet..not a shadow ng anything from him... so as not to remind me everyday of my exie...

    cry... let it all out..no matter how many days ka umiyak, when you feel like it, just cry... tapos youll feel so much better...

    and you can also try dating..hindi man serious dates, but go out, with friends or just with anyone you might be interested in... its gonna help kasi nakakalimot ka and naddivert yung attention mo towards somethin pleasant...

    there's no other way but to help yourself..free yourself from old memories..the longer you hang on, the harder its gonna be...

    wanna go on a date? haha... just kiddin
  • Brix99Brix99 PEx Rookie ⭐
    @aiee
    i'll take that offer if you're serious... hehe

    --

    well what's new with me? i've just been removed from her friendster... all my testimonials was also erased and she changed her status to "single". i felt hurt as usual but i'm beginning to feel comfortable about this. i'm finally having some sort of realization that i'm young, successful and i have all the time in the world to date other girls... i hope this isn't just a phase though.
  • it takes to heal....it may short or longer than what you thought. but the process of healing would make you see how strong you really are. i had a 7 1/2 years of on/off relationship and it ended 4 years ago...now, i'm such a better person. i know better. i am not the stupid or naive girl i used to be. and there's nothing that doesn't change in this world. there would always be changes in yourself and in this world.
    it is ok to cry for now and mourn for your lose but time heals you. enjoy the moment you have being a single guy...find yourself! maybe God gave you this heartache because He knows there is a big thing missing in you. remember everything happens for a reason.
    be a bachelor!!! enjoy for a moment and wait who knows dumating yun right girl for you.;)
  • aieeaiee PExer
    [email protected] if you think we'll hit it off, then why not... :) i still think guys should make the initiative, that is if youre serious on this. lol
  • U know what?? me too... i jus broke up with my bf for 5yrs straight. iTS HARD..sobra. kasi wala kang magawa. :depressed2: but ya, its ok to mourn and be sad, cus dats all u have right now, and dats all u can do for now. mahirap diba?? yup, mine ended 3days ago. i dont know how to move on cus he was my first in EVERYTHING (kiss, hold hands, bf, etc...) and I was his. What sucks is he fell in love wid his classmate. yup. she's way prettier, smarter (studying medicne din like him) and she's sweet. Wala akong laban. :sad: It wasnt like I was not a gud gf. ndi naman kami tatagal kung masama ugali ko.. lols

    When he told me, i didnt know wat to say. i min u'd xpct me to yell, slap and manumbat, but i didnt. i jus cried, and i let him go. walang sigaw, galit, sumbat at sampal. and yes masakit. :unhappy: pero ano naman magagawa ko?? WALA!!!!

    haaaayyyy buhay. im sorry dis is happening to you. hope u can move on soon. i'll pray for you. and i'll always hope na god helps u sa lhat ng pagsubok mo ngaun... i found this quote a long time ago. kahit nung kami pa ng bf ko. and out of all the love quotes i hav read, this one sticked on my mnd.. "ppl have difrent outlook wen it comes to love, but whatever it is, der is only one single truth behind everyone's hartache. LOVE HURTS WEN GOD KNOWS U DSERVE SUM1 ELSE..." :~(

    And everyone who posted here and gave their advices.. i applaud u. u pexers are da best. and while readng ur advices, i smiled and thot to myself na god shud bless ppl lke all of you...
  • JongaJonga PExer
    the things he gave me, nilagay ko sa box, wala akong tinira... pinatago ko sa cabinet..not a shadow ng anything from him... so as not to remind me everyday of my exie...

    what i did is i invited her to 1 last dinner date, and told her that i have 1 last gift for her that she will remember for the rest of her life

    i took everything in my room that she gave, pictures, letters, dvds, shirts...place it in a big box, and gift wrapped it. wrote a card that says "for the best"

    then, i gave the box as a gift to her and told her not to open it when im still around, after the dinner she called me and was aghast, humiliated and she asked me, "why did you do that?", I said "I just gave back what you gave that i dont need anymore, take it as a form of closure"

    haha, after that i moved on with less pain but with satisfaction :lol:
  • nung wed ko pa nabasa ung thread n to...

    para "OUCH"... super OUCH ung ginawa mo sa EX mo... sinauli mo ung mga bagay n binigay nya sa iyo...

    Pero since nasatisfy ka naman sa ginawa mo, ok na rin... maybe it really is for the best of you two...

    from experience... manghihinayang ka n ginawa mo un... maybe not now... but trust me you will...

    Pero... kaya mo yan... may darating din n para sa'yo... malay mo si aiee hahaha
  • aieeaiee PExer
    ^^ haha? me? thats a good one...

    oo nga, malay mo nga naman ako...haha...
  • samantha_jonessamantha_jones PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    brix: Hindi ba ikaw yung pinipimp nung isang girl sa singles thread a year or so ago? Err might be a wrong person but will check.

    But I understand how you feel been there done that, but the thing is 1 year or so lang kami ng ex ko but it hurt just the same. But you know what in time you will see that things end for a reason to give room for better things. :) If not for my ex I wouldn't have learned the things that I learned, did the things that I did that finally led me to my fiance. :)
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