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My Bestfriend is Bad influence to me

Guys I need your help. I have a bestfriend (he's a guy too). I've known him for several years and he's always been there for me. he's my best buddy.

anyway a few months ago he changed (i don't really know why.. probably family problems), he's been to smoking, beer and lotsa stuff. he even quit school. he's been a bad influence to me because by now I've also started smoking just like him and i just can't stop it

he even persuaded me to join a somewhat "light" version of fraternity. Now I want to stop.. but I can't. I want to separate from him... but I can't because he's my best buddy.. he's the only person who understands me eventhough i have a girlfriend and eventhough I have other friends too...

what do i do? should i continue being his bestfriend to the extent of losing my mind and my real self?

or should i just let go of my bestfriend? i know i wont find another bestfriend like him coz we've known each other since time immemorial... guys i need your advice pls.

Comments

  • well, you probably know the answer deep in your heart.
    To some extent, I can relate.
    My friend does the same thing too. I don't know where she is now.
    Got tired of waiting for her to change. She always have excuses to her problems. She claim that it is because of her family. But I know better, I know it's not. She just can't accept reality. She doesn't want to moved on. Her actions is hurting me too, I tried to be a good friend because I need her and I felt like she could be my bestfriend for life. Because I've never meet someone who made me feel special or maybe because I am just vulnerable that time.

    Anyway, just let go.. and be a better person. Unless ofcourse, you too have given up in life and want to be like him.
  • MhrcMhrc PExer
    bad influence or not the answer always lies on you it's either to be like him or not.
  • 24242424 PExer
    Yes he is your best friend but you should remeber that being friends does not MEAN disrespecting ones personal space.

    Before I chose to have a healthy lifestyle, like what I am living right now I used to smoke and drink like s*it and I have a lot of drinking buddies. 2 months ago I saw again my old drinking buddy, yes we drank, but I didnt drink beer; I drank juice. But still we hang out with each other eventhough we drink different kinds of fluids.

    Its just like that he needs to respect your opinions and you must also respect yourself too.
  • Come on brother..What actions or decison shouldnt be that hard! Its either you follow his lead or he follows you! You have you own mind..you know what is right or wrong!

    Grow up already!!! Move on!!!
  • you can be bestfriends with him without having to do what he wants u to do.
  • yeah, it's kinda lame how easy it is for you to be swayed towards the (lack of) direction your friend is taking.

    You know what's right, but somehow "friendship" is being used as a lame excuse to be in the same rut as he is in now.

    As a friend, it is your job to remind him of what's right and wrong.
  • Either you change him for the better or leave him, sad to say. Isipin mo din ang risk if hahayaan mong impluwensiyahan ka niya. Ikaw din.... ;)
  • find your own identity
    be smart
    learn to say no

    Most importantly, don't blame him for influencing you. From the very start, you had your own choice.
  • You may be concerned for your best friend's welfare, but jumping off into the abyss with him isn't the solution. Just lend a helping hand, be there to listen to him, and assure him of your friendship. And if you can, try to coax him out of his destructive behavior.
  • Ask him whats wrong [over a bottle of beer, kidding]. Help him stay out of bad habits instead of joining him. He may be needing you now more than ever.
  • MhrcMhrc PExer
    uhm...its really up to you if you really want to be like him the choice is all yours.
  • archgoldarchgold PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    There is a proverb that says, "It is better to travel alone than with a bad companion." I believe in this one. What should matter more? -- the quality of your friendship or the length of time you've been together? Ask yourself.

    You can of course try to counteract the bad influence that your friend has on you, but it seems the problem is you're not that strong enough to resist your bestfriend's influence on you so how can you expect him to change?

    My one advice for you: mortification and penance
  • Come on brother..What actions or decison shouldnt be that hard! Its either you follow his lead or he follows you! You have you own mind..you know what is right or wrong!

    Grow up already!!! Move on!!!



    you got it right!:)
  • In order for you to to make a good decision try meditating these verses:

    1 Cor 15: 33 - "Do not be misled. Bad associations spoil useful habits."

    Proverbs 13:20 “He that is walking with wise persons will become wise, but he that is having dealings with the stupid ones will fare badly.”

    Sana makatulong.
  • I don’t think leaving your friend is the right course of action. I believe he even needs you now more than ever.

    One of the finest gifts ever given to us is our free will. We have the power to make our own decisions because we always have a choice. That’s why I don’t think your bestfriend is a bad influence to you. Rather, you make him a bad influence to you by choosing to be like him in some aspects. If you don’t want to smoke or drink, then don’t. I don’t think your bestfriend can stop you anyway if you really don’t want to.

    I’d like to share this quote from someone anonymous.

    You are the person who has to decide. Whether you'll do it or toss it aside; you are the person who makes up your mind. Whether you'll lead or will linger behind. Whether you'll try for the goal that's afar. Or just be contented to stay where you are.
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