Guilty that I work and my baby's with Yaya

Epicticus · February 2007

I just need to ask if there's anyone out there who shares this guilt feeling that I should be spending more time with my 10-month old baby girl instead of working long hours. I sometimes even get jealous of her yaya when my baby smiles at her and not at me!

Petty, I know but still I worry about it a lot. Any other working moms out there who share the feeling?

jovhelle · February 2007

naku!
thats true kahit hindi ako working mommy eh mahirap mawala sa tabi ni baby kasi ung mga milestones niya sa pagkababy eh hindi ikaw ung unang nakakakita... remember hindi na mauulit ung mga milestones while baby siya.... kaya nga ayoko pa magtrabaho at ayaw ako payagan ni hubby ko... oncfe in a lifetime lang natin makikita ang mga milestones nila habang baby sila...

DaNa8 · February 2007

As for me, I make sure that I go home early to still have some quality time with baby. Impossible for me to stop working since I'm a single mom so bawi na lang ako sa pag-uwi nang maaga. Maybe you can find a new job that won't require you to work overtime para kahit papano you spend time with baby after work and during the weekends.

tina11 · February 2007

Epictus I am sure you are not alone. I work from home, and would feel guilty when my hubby (or my mom, when she was visiting) took care of my baby, kahit na nasa kabilang kwarto lang ako

I think at this young age babies tend to bond more with the person who is actively taking care of them instead of someone who only plays with them a few hours a day. Try your very best to take over the yaya's duties when you're at home. Don't just play with baby; paliguan mo din siya, palitan ng lampin, at pakainin. Those aren't mundane tasks but are ways to show your motherly love and earn your baby's trust.

Epicticus · February 2007

Thanks, guys! Your comments are very much appreciated!

Hooray to us mommies!

msbles · February 2007

I know exactly how you feel. With my firstborn, I was a full-time mom, and SO proud of it. But by the time baby sister arrived, the state of the economy made business difficult and hubby needed my help, so now, I need to work.

I don't just feel guilty that I have to leave Bea with the yaya, but also that I denied her something I was able to give her big brother: my 100% attention and care.

Whenever I am at home, I don't let anybody take care of my kids except myself, and I hope they'll forgive me for the times I have to leave.

My mom texted me last night if I enjoyed being a working mom. She always thought being a working mom was the epitome of success.

God forgive me, I wanted to throw the phone at her.

mom_to_be · February 2007

hello po sa mga mommies here.....

im also a single mom so impossible for me to stop working.... lalo pa po sa status ng health ng baby ko and he really requires attention kaya guilty ako sa part na yun. buti na lang at andyan ang parents ko to look for him. i admit that minsan naiinggit ako sa nanay ko kasi sya yung nakaka-kita ng mga ginagawa ng anak ko while im at work.

mulberry_me · February 2007

Ups, I belong.

I too was feeling guilty for not being able to spend most of my time with my growing son. But I am faced with reality that I have to help my husband save for the future of our kids especially now that we are expecting our 2nd baby very soon.

I just make up by spending the weekends full time with him. And during work days, I spend few hours for eat, play, and bathe in the morning with him before going to work (which explains my tardiness everyday). In the evening, I make sure I go home on or before 7pm so I can still bond with him 2 hours before he goes to sleep.

zhang12 · February 2007

Im guilty! haay kkalungkot tlga kapag naiisip ko na halos wala na kong oras for my baby.... pg alis ko ng bahay he still sleeping p uwi ko tulog na rin sya... yet bawi na lng ako pg weekend...

mommyjovita · February 2007

i always tell my friends that if i only had the choice, i would prefer tp stay home and take care of my baby. ayaw nila maniwala kasi sila they want to work. sa totoo lang tuwing umaga, tagal bago ako makalabas ng bahay kasi i would kiss and bear hug my little boy. minsan nakalabas na bumabalik pa ko uli kasi sa isip ko di na naman kami magkakasama maghapon.

but i make up to it by making sure na whenever i dont have work, ako talaga ang nagaalaga sa kanya. my weekends are totally devoted to him, kung me lakad ako with my friends, kaylangan sa nearby mall lang para maisasama ko siya. as ive said before, in this world, we can never really have everything. we just have to learn how to make the most of what we have.

swerte din ako kasi parents ko ang nagaalaga sa baby ko, so hindi ko nararanasan magselos. in fact natatouch pa nga ko pag nakikita ko yung closeness nila. dont worry, paglaki ng baby mo malalaman niya din ang difference ng relationship niya sayo at ng sa yaya niya.

splicergurl · February 2007

No yaya and maid here. I resigned from my job when I got pregnant w/ my 2nd baby. Good thing my boss offered hubby to switch places w/ me so I took over our mktg communications firm which meant work from home ako while he did the day job.

Fast forward, andito na baby. Buti na lang WFH ako kasi bigla umalis maid namin of 3 months, pano na lang if hubby and I both had day jobs di ba? I don't earn as much nowadays and a lot of people are telling me I should help my husband by working outside the house, kuha na lang daw kami yaya or paalaga ko kay MIL. Para sa kin din daw yun para fulfilled ako. Yes I get bored once in awhile, minsan pakiramdam ko I'm so domesticated na and kulang money ko pero mas happy ako taking care of our baby, di ako pressured to go to the ofc and I think hubby is more kampante na ako kasama ni baby. Tama din hubby, if I'm home I don't get to spend and work as much, so why should I complain about what I'm earning? The thought na hindi ako mag-aalaga is unthinkable talaga, ngayon pa na nagawa kong magpa-breastfeed ng maayos. Besides, di naman complain hubby kahit sya halos gastos. He's happy about my decision to breastfeed and take care of baby while working on the side of course.

I was actually offered 2 good jobs this month. I had a tough time considering it lalo na ok naman sweldo pero nung naiisip ko na I will have to stop breastfeeding directly full time and I would have to leave my baby to someone, parang nagi-guilty na ko. Ok lang naman kay hubby decision ko not to take the offer. Di ko na lang pinagsabi sa relatives ko yung job offers kasi alam ko sasabihan na naman nila ako na unfulfilling ang ginagawa ko now.

Just today, my baby laughed aloud repeatedly and matagal pa. I was her only audience. Sobrang saya talaga, nanghinayang daddy nya that he wasn't there. If I was out working today, hindi ko sana na-witness yun.

sweetwahm · February 2007

I'm guilty all the time. Especially when I come home from work deadbeat tired. But I try. I love being a mom it amazes me how big my son's grown -- and fast! So I make it a point to go home early from work, around 5:30 or 6pm so I can have a lot more time for reading and play.

splicergurl · February 2007

I guess what I'm guilty of nowadays is I don't get to spend as much time with my eldest as I take care of the baby full time, kasama na paggawa ng household chores. My free times naman when baby's sleeping, gusto ko lang magpahinga eh the panganay wants to do activities that would require me to lift more than a finger. So i always end up in a bind. :( She's with us every weekdays and holidays kaya I feel guilty pag di ko sya naasikaso. Di naman sya tampo kaya lalong nakaka-guilty.

elzsea · February 2007

i'm feeling so gulity these days about leaving my baby to her yaya. i used to be a Stay-At-Home-Mom kaya very hands on kay baby. Last week she called me "ate" (that's what she calls her yaya) instead of mommy, last night inulit na naman nya

Japoi · March 2007

Im also guilty all the time. Kaya nga ginagawa ko lahat para sa baby ko kahit na pagod na ako sa work. In the morning before im going to work i cooked for his foods and feeding him, pinaliliguan ko na rin siya, and i also sterilized all his feeding bottles, pati mga vitamins ay ipinaiinom ko narin para pag alis ko it lessen my worries na baka hindi magampanan ng sister in law ko. I also spend a few hours for play with him before going to office.

Grabeh, just imagine every morning I only spend 30 minutes to prepared myself kasama na ang pagligo at pag bihis, just to take up for the needs of my baby. Mabuti nalang at medyo malapit lang ang work ko 5 to 8 mins from my house and no trafic, kaya alis ako sa house 15 mins before my duty, at hindi pa ako late, and yung pagpapa beauty ko eh sa car nalang habang tumatakbo like putting my lipstick & face powder, mabuti nalang at magkalapit lang din ang office namin ng hubby ko, kaya naihahatid pa niya ako.

And sa afternoon naman eh 5:15 palang nasa bahay na ako kaya medyo mahaba ang bonding namin ng baby ko.

Ang sobrang nakaka guilty lang ay yung times na may sakit siya or masama ang pakiramdam niya, khit yung simpleng ubo at sipon lang na wala ka sa tabi niya... because i know that those are the times my baby really needs my cares and attention to him, lalo na kapag alis na ako sa umaga ay umiiyak at umahabol na siya. Pati ako napapaiyak at parang kinukurot ang puso ko habang papalayo.

kaya sa gabi at weekends ako bumabawi, sobrang bonding kami ng baby ko, we played,we read books together and lagi ko siya kiss and hugs and I'm always saying I love you to him, para mas madama niya ang aking pagmamahal at siyempre para pagpunuan din ang aking pagkukulang when im in work.

fengbrum · March 2007

I entrust my son to a yaya because my husband and I are both working. but we have what we called boundary and quota arrangements so that even were busy at work we would still find time to bond with our son.

my hubby's boundary would be to join/feed my son for breakfast and bathe him in the morning and his quota would be to spend time playing with our son when he gets home.

my boundary meanwhile is to at least join/feed my son for dinner and bathe him and my quota is to be the one to put my son to sleep at night.

but there are times though that hubby and I can't keep up with our quota and boundary arrangements due to demands of work. and that leaves us somewhat guilty sometimes.

elzsea · March 2007

i'm sad, pumapayat baby ko, it's been almost 2 months na since i started leaving her with a yaya.

mulberry_me · March 2007

Many of us are not so lucky to find a good yaya. Sana becoming a yaya will be considered a professional career na rin. Like if there's a short course / vocational course for yaya's para we the working parents can make sure the person we hire to take care of our kids are nonetheless 'educated' or certified baby caregivers. That way atleast we can have a peace of mind leaving our babies with them.

princ3ss.m0m · June 2007

that's what i'm afraid of, kase since i gave birth, full-time mom ako. but finances are quite tight, and being a single mom, i can't rely on my parents forever. so i thought of getting a call center job. i was thinking, night shift naman, baby would be asleep by then, and when she wakes up, i'm home na. but i committed that i'm still the one to bathe her, and feed her when i'm home. when she's asleep, chaka na rin ako matutulog. of course, my days off will be spent with her tlga. it's true, we can't have everything, but it's ok. sabi nga sa what to expect the first year, when it comes to time for the babies, it's quality, not quantity. so long as you make the effort to spend time and do things for your baby, you should feel good about it. who wants to be away from our babies di ba? kung pwede nga lang sa bahay lang tlga. but i always think na lang tlga na it's for baby's future.