Wife's Corner

yanibanani

Hello mommies!

I am starting a new thread on being a wife. Because being a good wife is part of good parenting. So wifeys or soon to be wifeys or future wifeys...come hop in!

This is the thread where we can share about how wonderful and/or horrible being a wifey can be (its usually both)....If you have wifey issues or wifey problem's, post here!

We already have a thread on being a mommy...i really think it is also very important not to forget our better half. Probably, we can all share and pick up useful info that we can all adapt in our day to day lives to help us become better wives....

lemme start...

yanibanani

How do we become better wives? Do you agree on the biblical passage "wives, submit to your husbands...." What are the things that you do or did that has greatly improved your marriage!

Post here!

jovhelle

yanibanani naku!!! sobrang agree ako jan. aside of being a christian eh magwowork talaga ang relationship between hubby and wife kung marunong magbigayan ang mag-asawa. ung hubby ko e sobrang thankful dahil submissive daw akong asawa. syempre happy ako na napuri ng asawa ko.


as hubby & wife, we both consider our opinions and then if mejo makalog ang decision eh pinag-pray namin kay Lord para bigyan kami ng guidance for wisdom....

naku! nangaral ata ako...

yanibanani

wow jhovelle!

considering your age, your so mature talaga! Agree din ako sa being submissive...kasi before i was very domineering kaso nakakapagod din kasi deadma na si hubby coz i was the one planning things...now, sitting pretty na ako! SIya na bahala! hehe!

Being a wife is being his partner....so dapat half half talaga ang decision making. Here's a very enlightening thought...this helped me realized many things about being a wifey.

"It is easy to love a submissive wife and it is easy to submit to a loving husband."

foxychiq_26

I can relate sa usapan na to..

Our first year as a married couple is really shaky... pareho kasi kami domineering.. wala gustong magbigay..gusto parehong gusto ang nasusunod. Pareho kami ng personality kaya ang hirap mag-adjust lalo sa part ko... Hindi ako sanay na minamandohan ako, na dinidiktahan ako... lagi kaming nag-aaway kasi siya ayaw din ng ayaw ko.. We almost separate... Buti na lang naayos namin.. so now that we're turning two years, things are getting better. We, specially me, is now learning to give and take... wala talaga mangyayare kung hindi magpapakumbaba ang isa.. And hoping that things wil run smoothly sa pagtagal pa namin as mag-asawa..

yanibanani

ganun din kami first year...but things really get better when you learn to give and take...bawal na talaga ang selfish!

apple20

need advise...were just 1 month married and its very hard to adjust
but as gf/bf 5 yrs din naging kami before we decided to face our next chapter..i really don't know why pero parang feeling ko may kulang sa relationship namin..but im very happy kapag kasama ko siya and contented. parang wala kasi syang ka balak balak n gumanda lalo ung relasyon namin..parang kuntento n sya n ganito ung flow ng buhay namin araw araw.pero alam ko namang nag eexert sya ng effort para umayos kami siguro nasa period of adjustment lang tlga kami..

jovhelle

apple make a way na maging kakaiba ung everyday life nio so ung love at ung saya ng relationship nio dati ay nandyan pa din... kasi parang ganito yan eh ok kasal na tau so ok na. ung para bang kontento na kau na kasal na kau kaya ganyan ung nafefeel mo..

tina11

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I agree that there has to be give-and-take in a marriage but doesn't that Biblical passage mean that the husband has to dominate the marriage and make all the decisions?

jovhelle

^
hindi naman po. parang superior si hubby but the decision eh hati kayo. parang you must respect your hubby para maging maayos ang relationship...

tina11

Well it's a given that you must respect your hubby, and he must also respect you. But if you make all decisions together, hindi ba equal kayo? Paano naging superior si hubby?

foxychiq_26

apple- may baby na kayo? baka yun yung kulang..baka yun yung kailangan ninyo mag-asawa. isn't the 5 years as mag-bf/gf enough to know and be comfortable with each other? And di ba kaya kayo nagpakasal coz you finally decided to start a family? naisip ko lang.. baka yun nga...

apple20

foxychiq_26 wrote: »

apple- may baby na kayo? baka yun yung kulang..baka yun yung kailangan ninyo mag-asawa. isn't the 5 years as mag-bf/gf enough to know and be comfortable with each other? And di ba kaya kayo nagpakasal coz you finally decided to start a family? naisip ko lang.. baka yun nga...

alam ko gusto niya ng magkaanak kami kaso alam ko gusto rin nya munang kaming dalawa lang muna..kasi mahirap na ngaun kung magkakaanak n agad kami mahirap yung responsibilities as mother and alam ko alam nya naman un..
hndi n siya mahilig magplano para samin dalawa siguro dahil hindi pa kami bumubukod.pero masaya kami..yun lang hindi ko maintindihan kung anong kulang.

yanibanani

tina...yun ang akala ko the first time but about the husband dominating the relationship but it got cleared when it was explained to me.
Diba sabi...Wives, submit to your husbands tapos, husbands love your wives....
What it means is that we as wives should submit to the decisions our husbands make since sila yung commissioned to lead the family. But it does not mean na puro yes nalang tayo sa sasabihin nila....kahit wala na sila sa lugar. Kasi that passage of submission has a condition...Husbands, love your wives...in other words, once they make a decision, they should be conscious that they are the once accountable din. And that they are commissioned to LOVE us...in Love, no one is dominating or domineering...Love is not abusive and Love is understanding and patient...
mejo confusing nga konti...mas magaling ata yung pastor mag explain kesa sa akin...but nevertheless, i learned from that talaga! My hubby and i realized the truthfulness of the passage...parang there is mutual respect for each other...at the end, when you feel that he loves you, you do not feel that you are being "submissive" because it just flows naturally....
Its still a give and take thing...and maintaining an open communication line....it takes years to master and as long as iisa lang ang goal nyo mag-asawa, magkaka intindihan din kayo. Pride has no place in a marriage talaga.

yanibanani

Apple,
Parang naiintindihan kita…kasi sabi mo that you are happy naman but parang may kulang feeling mo…please correct me if I’m wrong ha…

Here goes, baka you find yourself asking the question “Is this all marriage can offer me?”…kasi sometimes we find ourselves having so much expectations when we become wives…we expect the usual loveydovey, the romance and that picture perfect house that we will run…but in reality hindi yun ang nangyayari. Like as you said, hindi pa kayo bumubukod…you are not able to experience being the queen of the house and you are limited sa mga actions mo…and probably, hindi nyo ito naisip prior to the wedding...siguro deep in your heart, you want to experience that…maybe that is the void that you are feeling. Or you want to see your hubby be the man of the house…and since you have in laws, parang anak pa rin role nya sa bahay…maybe yan ang hinahanap mo. Tama ba? hehe

tina11

Siguro hindi iyun applicable sa amin because we're both not the domineering type. Ganito kami madalas:

W: Anong gusto mo na dinner?
H: Hindi ko alam e, anong gusto mo?
W: Meron tayo chicken, ground beef, tuna...
H: Hmm, ok yun lahat, anong gusto mo doon?
W: Wala naman akong preference, ikaw ang pumili.
H: Wala din akong preference e.

We've been married for almost 4 years, and no fights or major disagreements because we talk about everything and make all the decisions together. Different strokes for different folks (or couples) siguro.

ski_JeRZe

^^ Tina pareho tayo. Ganyan din usapan namin hubby kapag magluluto na ako or siya.

Halos gaya ni Tina, my husband and I have been married for 5 years and been together for 7 years, and we never had BIG/MAJOR fights or disagreements. We always make decisions together.

When it comes to household chores, hati kami. Siya pa mismo nag-sabi. He knows how much I hate washing the dishes, so siya nalang daw taga hugas. Syempre from time to time nag-huhugas din ako. Siya din daw taga vacuum, mabigat daw na trabaho yon nag-vavacuum. Yon dad niya din kasi yon taga-vacuum. . . Basta lagi kaming comprise

Naku ngayon pregnant ako, spoiled ako. Siya halos gumagawa ng household chores. Syempre tumutulong ako kung kaya ko. Nong isang araw naiinis sa akin bakit daw ako nag-lampaso ng kitchen floor, masama daw sa likod ko.

tina11

^I have a feeling your hubby's going to be a very hands-on dad

Where we live right now, breastfeeding lang ang ginagawa ng mga nanay na hindi magawa ng tatay. Other child-rearing tasks and housework - changing diapers, doing laundry, rocking the child to sleep - can and should also be performed by the father. I know some couples na ang tatay ang nag-aalaga sa bata while the mom works.

What it means is that we as wives should submit to the decisions our husbands make since sila yung commissioned to lead the family. But it does not mean na puro yes nalang tayo sa sasabihin nila....kahit wala na sila sa lugar.

Pareho lang din siguro ang end result. Kasi in this scenario, the man makes the decisions but if the woman does not approve, they talk about it. Sa amin, we talk about it from the start and make the decision together.

I know some people are going to read this post and think that I'm eschewing the old patriarchal Filipino values of the man being the head of the household but hey, it works for us.

ski_JeRZe

jovhelle wrote: »

^
hindi naman po. parang superior si hubby but the decision eh hati kayo. parang you must respect your hubby para maging maayos ang relationship...

I'm sorry, but I don't think what you just said make sense. Paano ba kayo hati? Paano proportion ng pag-hati? 50-50, 60-40, 70-30?

If one person is superior than the other (even one is just sligthly superior), it means they're not equal.

ski_JeRZe

Tina: I think he's gonna be hands-on daddy too. He insisted na mag-attend kami ng pre-natal classes. Sabi ko wag na, mahal ($200- 3 different classes). Sabi niya para daw matuto siya mag-palit ng diapers at kung ano-ano pa. Sabi ko, ako na lang mag-tuturo (barat ko talaga). Mag-attend na lang daw kami since first time parent din ako para matuto daw kami.

Since I'm going to be stay at home, I told him na ako na lang gigising sa gabi. He told me na he will help daw, mas mahirap daw yon work ng mga stay at home mom kaysa sa work niya. Tingnan na lang natin pag-labas ng baby namin

jovhelle

^

superior in the sense na siya ung padre de pamilya. pero it doesnt mean na cia na talaga ung masusunod sa lahat ng bagay. kasi we all know n need din ni hubby ang opinion ng asawa nila.