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My Papa Passed Away... I Don't Know How to Move On

My dad passed away a while ago due to a cardiac arrest. He already had many complications due to his vices (smoking and drinking). His illness started way back late 1990s but he didn't want to go to the doctor for a check-up. He just medicated himself with healthy food. Yet, he never stopped smoking and drinking. These past few weeks, we saw that his health was already deteriorating. He can no longer stand up. So his elder sister, upon seeing his situation, decided that we should send him to the hospital. The doctor said that he will be healed of his TB if continuous medication would be followed. But to our surpirse, just this morning he had a sudden heart attack (maybe because he can no longer bear the stress of having a lot of apparatus attached to him coupled with the stress of having not to smoke or drink for days) which caused his death.

I am really very depressed right now. A lot of "what ifs" keep reappearing in my mind. What if the we or the doctors did this and that, he might be still alive. And that's what's keeping my spirit so low... the thought that he could still be alive at this moment if we have done (or not done) something is really breaking my heart to pieces. I don't know how to move on. Whenever I remember him, the way he used to care for us... I feel so guilty of not being able to return much affection and love. I really really feel so depressed. I don't know what to think or do. I can't sleep and eat properly. I want to see him but that will never happen again. It hurts so much and I don't know if the pain will ever go away. I sorely miss my papa. :mecry:
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Comments

  • time will heal you. Don't hurry. It's normal to feel pain right now.
    But just remember that it is not the end..
    Wherever he is , I am sure all he wants you to be is to move on.
    And live a better life than he has..
    Merry Christmass.. It's not the end..
    So look forward for a new year!!:)
  • honey, i'm so sorry for your loss.

    one thing though, i'm sure you did what was right and did what you could. don't blame yourself for something you did or did not do. it's not your fault.

    keep his memories in your heart, that is all that you have left of him... so throw out the bad ones and keep the good ones. the pain will never go away... but it will be easier to bear in time.
  • baklitabaklita PEx Veteran ⭐⭐


    condolence on the loss of your caring papa...

    just a reminder... do reminisce the memories monumental on your family as your father has nurtured and took good care of you and everyone around him.

    grief if you must... it's part of the healing process. I'm sure after awhile you'll realize... your dad wants you to better yourself now that you're on your own. prove it to your dad by not disappointment... este disappointing him. kaya ba?

    aihihihi!!! :)

    baklita




  • Condolence to you and your Family Sis .. Me too experienced the same pain when my Papa died .. Time will heal the pain but the LOVE and Memories will remail Forever ..

    Godbless

    Regards,

    Lego
  • mariadamsmariadams PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    my sincere condolences... my_identity

    your papa is at peace now, his sufferings have ended.
    don't blame yourself. he wouldn't like you to feel that way...

    here's a big hug from me.
    :spinhalo:

    Merry Christmas by the way....
  • Sometimes people make decisions in life that we don't like because we know what the consequences will be. But if those decisions made them happy, we can take the consolation that atleast they died doing something that made them happy.
  • orangepinkorangepink PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    my condolences...we all have different ways of healing ourselves but the important thing is that we make the effort to heal ourselves. as for your what-if's, should-have's, would-have's, could-have's, that's normal when you lose somebody. just go through the motions of day-to-day living. cry if you must. do all the things you need to do. one day, it will be okay and you will fondly smile everytime you remember your dad.
  • condolence to you... it will take time to ease up the pain pero isipin mo na lang na nasa taas na sya ngayon so he will be watching you... para na syang yung nasa lion king.... just continue to live your life.. remember, pag nasa gitna ka ng s3x sasabihin nya sa yo..i'm watching you..hahahhaha
  • my condolences to you and your family...

    mas lalong nakaka-depress kasi pasko pa... ang bigat sa dibdib niyan... ang isipin mo nalang okay na papa mo at di na makakaramdam ng sakit ng katawan...

    pero sana wag mong pabayaan ang sarili mo....
  • AltweggAltwegg PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    I'm sorry for your loss. Time heals all wounds.
  • una-una lang yan. my dad died when i was still a kid but i think i grew up to become a well adjusted man.

    remember the dead, cherish the living.
  • huhuhu...naiiyak ako...can we be friends???....kaya mo yan!!!...although alam kung mahirap talaga yan..if that happens to me ewan ko kung kakayanin ko...stay strong..please...please...

    -rarer:depressed: :depressed:


    -rarer
  • Sincere prayers to the Lord and only true Father will be the balm for your aching heart's loss. Let this day of Christmas be a reminder to you of the real importance and meaning of life- of Jesus' instructions to love the Supreme Father with all of one's heart, and to love others as well as one loves one's own self. The Lord never denies help to a person who cries out sincerely for help, so your help is in the hands of the Lord.

    Take care, and best wishes.



    http://ww2.ninjai.com/christmas
    http://www.myspace.com/ninjaigang
  • ermonskiermonski PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    My sincere condolences...

    I guess we are on the same track. I lost my dad too in 2001 (I was 11 years old that time).. he also suffered from stroke.

    Same situation too, at that time my and my family are having difficulty on knowing if we were to move on.

    we learned by that day to accept things that we cannot control. and that is how we managed to move on...

    still, after 6 years, I still can't help thinking about how much my dad loved my family and how he really perseveres to make us happy... now I'm 17 years old I want to remember my dad as a very humble, strict, and loving father

    my tip? don't forget to Pray as GOd can help you a lot in this situation.

    my condolences once again... and Happy New Year
  • I think it's too early to think about moving on.
  • its really sad when we loose a loved one, one really cant compare the grief to anything. time will heal those wounds, so for now, feel the pain and cry if you must, this will be the beginning of accepting that he’s gone. i know its difficult, but think of the good times you had, and believe that he’s in a better place now. You did what you thought was right based on the information and feelings you had. maybe some of those decisions were wrong but the important thing is you did your best and you learned from them.

    my condolences and my prayers are with you and your family…
  • My condolences go out to your family. It's always sad to lose a loved one and I can't imagine what you're going through right now. :(
  • me too, i really dont know what to do if this case will happen to me.. super sakit siguro noh..
    anyway, isipin mo na lang na masaya na cya kung nasan man sya ngaun..just accept the fact..and i know this will make you strong..kaya mo yan!!
    ill pray for you and your family..:mecry:
    this also shows na dapat ipakita na natin ngayon pa lang sa mga parents natin kung gaano natin cla ka love..hndi ntn alam kung kylan cla mawawala..
    hay..soOo sad naman to..:mecry:
    look at the positive side..for sure theres a reason kung bkt nangyayari lht ng ito sau..time heals all wounds ika nga..
  • shox920shox920 PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    Guilt feelings....


    Habang buhay pa sila.... ipakita at iparamdam sa kanila kung gano natin sila kamahal.... Kailan mo sasabihin ang I LOVE YOU kung tuwid na mga paa nila?


    condolence po......
  • dikyadikya PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    sorry for your loss.

    i know mahirap imagine sa ngayon na darating din ang araw na magiging okay ang pakiramdam mo. ...kase naranasan ko din yan nung namatay yung mommy ko. kahit anong sabihin ng mga tao na lilipas din yung lungkot, parang sobrang imposibleng mangyari. ....sa ngayon siguro medyo di ka pa makapaniwala sa nangyari. pero kelangan mong accept yung pagkamatay ng father mo, tapos gawin mong motivation yon para mas magsumikap ka pa sa buhay mo. learn to appreciate those people around you, and enjoy your life.
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