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Considering Adoption

i know this is not the best thing in the world, and a lot of people are against the idea, but I'm actually CONSIDERING to put my baby up for adoption. i'm 7 months pregnant, and I am financially, emotionally and psychologically not prepared to have a baby. i never considered abortion as an option cos i know i don't have the right to take the life of someone else, someone God created. but then again, I don't like my child to live a life that is less than what she deserves. Being a single parent is difficult. My mom is a single parent too, raising 3 younger siblings who are still in school now, she can't really raise another one. I need help guys. Please. As much as I want to keep this child and raise her, I can't.

Comments

  • mulberry_memulberry_me Member PExer
    frustr8td.mom2b:
    While I understand your concern of wanting your child to deserve a much better life than what the situation your family is in now can offer, have you ever thought that what your baby deserves the most is to be nurtured by her very own mother?

    There are many other moms who I think are less fortunate than you are but managed to grow their child.

    I know you are still young but I think you should take it as a chance to see how you can make beautiful changes in the future - in your life and your baby's life.

    Please give your baby a chance to grow with you.

    Maybe joining a community for young moms or single moms will help you view things differently in this journey.:)

    Good luck
  • msblesmsbles working mom PExer
    I feel for you. I understand how hard it can be to give up your child. But it's also scary having to raise a child alone. It's hard enough having to raise a child with a husband.

    So I understand why you want to give your child up for adoption.

    Pray, sister, for divine guidance. This is a very hard decision, and human judgement cannot make it for you.

    If you do decide to give her up for adoption, consider international adoption. Realistically speaking, this might give your child a beter chance for the better life you want her so much to have and are sacrificing for. Maybe somebody here knows how to do that.
  • Ice BurnIce Burn Conflicting Karma PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    I think you're doing the right thing. If you really can't raise your child, no matter how heartbreaking it is, it is really for the best. Would you really want her not to have the things you wish you could give her?

    Consider a foreign adoption. Here are some sites:
    www.foreignadoptions.com
    www.Adoption.com
    www.Adoption.org
    www.AdoptionSearch.com
    www.ParentProfiles.com
    www.Adopting.org

    There are so many childless couples desperate to have a child. They will ensure your child will have a good future.

    Good luck.
  • tina11tina11 Member PExer
    frustr8d.mom2b I think you're very courageous for even having the baby to begin with. Kudos. :)

    Have you had a heart-to-heart talk with your mom? You would be surprised at how flexible family finances can turn out to be when there is another child in the picture. Magaling ang mga Pinoy sa ganyan. Having a baby is indeed expensive but you can manage with some resourcefulness and help from friends and relatives (those who have toddlers and are not planning on having kids soon can be good sources of second-hand stuff like high chairs, cribs, and clothes).

    If you do end up deciding that you are not ready, perhaps some relatives in Pinas or even abroad might want to adopt the baby. That way you can be sure that your child is in good hands.

    Good luck. :)
  • msblesmsbles working mom PExer
    tina11 wrote: »
    frustr8d.mom2b
    If you do end up deciding that you are not ready, perhaps some relatives in Pinas or even abroad might want to adopt the baby. That way you can be sure that your child is in good hands.

    Good luck. :)

    I think having your relatives adopt your baby is a double-edged sword. The good side is you can be better assured that your baby is in good hands, although it's still tough to be sure (some people are bad parents even to their own children), and if you change your mind, perhaps you can get your child back.

    The bad side is that you know you can get your child back--therefore you will never have closure. Seeing your child constantly will keep your emotional wound from healing. However, it's unlikely that a relative who accepts the child will ever be willing to give her back.

    Usually, too, adoption by relatives lack the legal papers which might make things complicated when it comes to inheritances, eventually.

    If I were you, I wouldn't consider adoption by a relative at all. If you let your child go, let her go completely so you and she can start with a clean slate.
  • tina11tina11 Member PExer
    Personally I'd prefer having the opportunity to see the baby and know that he's in good hands, kahit na walang closure at kahit na masakit sa akin. Depende na siguro sa tao. :)
  • msblesmsbles working mom PExer
    touche` :)
  • Ice BurnIce Burn Conflicting Karma PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    If you have your child be adopted by a relative, your child will have a greater amount of abandonment issues.

    This is speaking from experience. My youngest brother is my cousin whom we adopted. Originally we wanted to adopt him when he was still a baby para walang complications but his mom said no. His father is my mom's brother and he's a no-good drug addict, while his mom is a GRO. Anyway, 3 years later, she dumps him on our doorstep and takes off. It's not a formal adoption. We're still trying to track his mom (wherever the hell she is now) so we can have her turn him over to us, for my parents to give him our last name.

    My parents treat him the same way they treat me, my sister and my brother. He is really well cared for. He's 10 now. He knows who his real parents are. He calls my parents mommy and daddy. But he has serious abandonment issues especially when his real parents make all sorts of promises but never deliver. When he was younger, he used to say that no one loves him and that everyone is just leaving him. What is heartbreaking is that when my family had to travel abroad, he couldn't go because he's not formally adopted yet so he got left with my lola. He keeps saying he wishes his last name was our last name so he can go with my family to travel.

    My mom's planning to pay off someone at the NSO to change his birth certificate to reflect my mom and dad as his parents because we can't find his mother anymore.

    He tries hard to reach out to his dad but his dad is just an utter good-for-nothing father. One time, his dad said he would pick him up to take him to Jollibee. My brother would not eat the whole day just waiting for his dad and his dad never showed up. Me and my sister felt sorry for him and took him to Jollibee and told him not to expect anything from his dad.

    My question to you is, if you let your child be adopted by someone else, can you deal with your child blaming you for abandoning her? Can you see yourself looking longingly at the child you couldn't raise but is so close to you? And would you have any relatives who really want to adopt your child? And will not be burdened by this responsibility?
  • yugiohyugioh Member PExer
    Hi, i know its too late for me to read your thread but im willing to adopt your child.. how is it now??

  • Im a single mom. 25. Im 5mos pregnant and planning for abortiom but if someone wants to adopt willing and able po you can help me po.

    Contact me here 09668655318

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