Hey sweety. I know by now youre really annoyed by me but I just want to have you back and try to explain my side of things as my mind would allow me to. We can mend this. I know I hurt you many times in just a short period but I didnt really mean to do those things to you.
Firstly, about the lying part. You keep saying Im a liar, right? Maybe thats something that you dont understand about me. I tend to joke about things and act as if I actually mean them. You misinterpret it as a lie. I always make it clear in the end that its not true, that its a joke. But you take it seriously sometimes. And I have a hard time convincing you that its not true. I do it because it interests me as to what kind of responses Im gonna get. I dont know but I find it funny. I believe I have an odd sense of humor. But I might be doing it too much to you that its not funny anymore so dont worry, Im gonna tone it down a bit or even not joke around at all. I know its hard to tell whether Im joking or not cause sometimes my facial expression wouldnt go with what Im saying like sometimes I would smile while were having a serious conversation. Well cause baby, I dont know, I just really smile a lot. I know its wrong so I guess Im gonna have to work on that aspect. Its kinda hard for me to be all serious when Im alone and sat down in front of a computer so I laugh and smile at the silliest things. And its really wrong but even when youre mad, Im still amused. I dont know. Im abnormally happy. And sometimes you see me doing something and I say Im not doing anything. Im so sorry about that. I just think its nothing of importance to you as it is something nonsense so I just say nothing. Of course, by nothing I dont really mean nothing as in literally. Its just my way of saying Im doing something unimportant. But if you want me to say what Im exactly up to, then I would.
Secondly, about me acting really strange. Okay, I admit it. Sometimes I act weird like to the point of being not myself just to get attention. Its an outlet. Thats one of my many ways to vent. Life is kinda hard and its causing too much stress. And mix that with a pinch of boredom and you get an insane me. And I dont know if its something youll ever understand. Sometimes, I dont even understand myself. The truth is Im still stuck in that phase where Im trying to find out who I am and what I want. So yeah the only thing I can do about it is hold on to and control myself whenever the urge to act strange comes up. But I might have to express it by another means which hopefully isnt any worse.
So listen, Im utterly very sorry! I really enjoy your company. But on the whole, youre the most wonderful person I know right now. I like how you are so caring and everything. I wished all guys or people even were like you. Then the world would be a better place. I dont know what else, but there sure is something more about you that makes me want to be with you. So please, lets stay together. I love you a lot. I know nobody likes a liar and you keep calling me one so I guess Im gonna try my best to be and show you that I am truthful as long as Im with you. Youre just gonna have to give me a chance to do that.
So I guess I'm gonna stop right here. Just ask me if you have questions.
I LOVE YOU ALWAYS.