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Question for the Girls

You know you both had a past, maybe not as deep as, becoming boyfriend-girlfriend already but you know that the guy realy likes you. When it didnt work out - he wanted to shut off your friendship because he says "i can't lie to myself pretending we're just friends because i know i want more than that" so he did shut you off...

and then years after, he returns, and wants to become "even just friends" because he cant accept the fact that, even as a friend, your no longer in his life so he swallowed his pride and wanting to be friends again. Meaning, he still wants you in his life...even if it means you have to be "friends" na lang.

Now that you are able to go be together, you still know that he might have feelings for you still....


This is me - the guy. Now me and the girl can call each other, and go out like the usual. I know that somehow she knows that I still like her. She has a boyfriend now.

The question is, SHE NEVER introduces her boyfriend to me. Its always like..."Ay (me) si (him)" or even the worst "Ay (me) si (him) taga (where he works or studies)"

and when i ask her...."Why dont you just tell him that he's your boyfriend?"

and her answer .."ay sorry"

what the ***** is this? this has been going on even with her first bf, she never introduces him properly to me as his BF. is she afraid of hurting me? if thats the case, so she does acknowledge that I still have feelings for her?

mga girls, help me understand this. I still love her very much but i also want to respect her current relationship.

Comments

  • i think she doesn't wanna hurt you lang.. ayaw nyang isipin mo na ipinamumukha nya sa yo na may boyfriend na nga sya.. iniisip nya siguro na lam mo naman na may bf na sya e so she doesn't need to introduce him to you formally..

    un lng po siguro un.. advice ko po sa yo, if you love her still and you agreed to stay friends with her khit na lam mong may bf na sya, dont expect na rin from her kasi lalo ka lng masasaktan.

    ok? goodluck po sa yo! *okay*
  • personally, i don't really introduce my boyfriend as a boyfriend... to friends or anyone na first time pa lang niya na-meet. especially if the person does not really know na may boyfriend ako.

    i just go, "this is *insert boyfriend's name here*"

    para lang kasing pinapamukha mo sa person na may boyfriend ka. if boyfriend/girlfriend mo naman yung person halata naman eh. ;)
  • yeah, i realized this as well...maybe thats just how it is.

    Another Question:

    what would you feel if the guy tells you "I havent really gotten over you, never has and baka never will...but i respect your current relationship right now so i decided to not do anything about it"

    and also i want to use this "friendship" of ours to answer some questions like:

    "I often wonder what went wrong"

    and also.

    is there really a way to show a girl that even though your "friends" now, he still feel very much in love with the girl without having to say it?
  • boinks wrote:
    yeah, i realized this as well...maybe thats just how it is.

    Another Question:

    what would you feel if the guy tells you "I havent really gotten over you, never has and baka never will...but i respect your current relationship right now so i decided to not do anything about it"

    and also i want to use this "friendship" of ours to answer some questions like:

    "I often wonder what went wrong"

    and also.

    is there really a way to show a girl that even though your "friends" now, he still feel very much in love with the girl without having to say it?

    flattered AND uncomfortable.

    i mean, it's really nice to know that a guy loves you very much... but for a girl... parang ang sad that you can't return the feeling... but that's just me.

    well, if she knew before that you like her, chances are she'll be able to "feel" without you saying if you still love her or not...

    ...but don't take my word for it... manhid ako eh! ilang suitors na yung muntik akong batukan kasi kulang na lang daw maglagay sila ng neon sign na "i like you! i like you! i like you!" pero hindi ko pa rin daw napapansin... :rotflmao:
  • bored2deathbored2death PEx Influencer ⭐⭐⭐
    boinks wrote:
    yeah, i realized this as well...maybe thats just how it is.

    Another Question:

    what would you feel if the guy tells you "I havent really gotten over you, never has and baka never will...but i respect your current relationship right now so i decided to not do anything about it"

    and also i want to use this "friendship" of ours to answer some questions like:

    "I often wonder what went wrong"

    and also.

    is there really a way to show a girl that even though your "friends" now, he still feel very much in love with the girl without having to say it?


    i can only tell you my story. tipong parallel eh :

    i have this guy. he's so interesting, so smart and i really like him a lot. the only thing is he's so young. baka patayin ako ng nanay nya. and hindi talaga ako mahilig sa younger guys. feel ko, nanay nya ako..hahahaha

    anyways, let's just say there comes a time that we're both into each other. as in super mutual yung feeling. then suddenly, here comes a new guy. not really new but i met him before but there's nothing there so to speak. then, biglang pursue yung guy sa kin. and well, i found in him all the qualities i like for a guy. so, yon, naging kami. up to now.

    this younger guy, of course, di na kami. kasi i have a bf na. as in super guilty ako sa kanya. but i can't do anything about it. hindi naman pwedeng dagdagan ko yung age nya. let's say 12 years ang pagitan namin and that's history. talagang history yung pagitan namin di ba?

    sometimes, he calls me. i call him. we text each other. he still says he loves me but i don't respond in kind. i don't like to give him ideas.

    if he asked about my bf, deadma ako. if he asked me why not? ang sagot ko sa kanya, " naman...i'm not that selfish. masaktan kaya kita."

    not because i love him. but i care for him because he's a good person. but not enough for me na gawin syang boyfriend.

    talagang hindi lang kami for several reasons.

    maybe ganyan yung kwento nyo nung friend mo. she might only care for you because you have endearing qualities. but she can't love you the way you expected her to love you.

    talagang friends lang kayo. in a way, that's also a blessing. but then again, you just have to be content with that.
  • jensen83jensen83 PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    nice hehehe i mean tama si bored2death.. she just respects your feelings but that doesn't mean she reciprocates the feelings your having for her :)
  • As a girl, I will find it uncomfortable to introduce my boyfriend to someone whom I know is "head over heels in love with me" eversince. It's not because I would entertain the thought of me and my friend being together sometime soon, but the situation is just plain awkward. Don't put too much meaning into it.

    If a friend of mine admits that he's still in love with me, I would feel flattered (as what one poster said) and at the same time really uncomfortable. IF the girl still has feelings for you, that'll be a problem because the what ifs will always enter her thoughts.
    is there really a way to show a girl that even though your "friends" now, he still feel very much in love with the girl without having to say it?

    Hmm...what for? Are you hoping that when she realizes that you're still in love with her, she'd come back to you? If no, then my unsolicited advice would be better leave things as they were before. Baka lang makasira ng isang relationship. :)

    BTW, why didn't it work out for you guys?
  • you're just lying to yourself, man. just let her be. and that's that.
  • Question: Why do you want the girl to introduce the boyfriend to you? That's just asking for more trouble, not only on your part but on her part as well especially if the BF finds out that you and her have a history together. Maybe she knows that you still have feelings for her and maybe she does not. If you're really her friend, you don't want to cause her unnecessary stress right? Think about yourself too, why do you want to subject yourself to such torture?

    Imagine this:

    Girl: boinks, this is *name*, my boyfriend.
    Boinks: ...

    Awkward isn't it? Painful too.
  • gastrixia wrote:
    Question: Why do you want the girl to introduce the boyfriend to you? That's just asking for more trouble, not only on your part but on her part as well especially if the BF finds out that you and her have a history together. Maybe she knows that you still have feelings for her and maybe she does not. If you're really her friend, you don't want to cause her unnecessary stress right? Think about yourself too, why do you want to subject yourself to such torture?

    Imagine this:

    Girl: boinks, this is *name*, my boyfriend.
    Boinks: ...

    Awkward isn't it? Painful too.

    gastixia - Well, as much as I'm still in love with her, knowing she still has a boyfriend, I just have this notion that MAYBE she can end it herself. End it for me. Maybe its the weirdest idea - having to go through the awkwardness of it all, but getting an ANSWER is kind of of a relief for me. In a way if i know and she's presenting me her boyfriend - it tells me "its over, you cant do anything about it - lets just be friends". I'm a very cut and dry person.

    GreatBop - In a way, i must be lying to myself. Remember, for a person who is in love with someone, i can believe in ANYTHING.

    April_Loves_Gin - flattered but uncomfortable - hmmm, something I need to ponder on more. You know what, I tried shutting our friendship off- Actually i did. Like holding the friendship as hostage for not getting what i want. I put it on hold, ignored her, looked for someone else, pretended she never existed, that she's not worth my worries. BUt then I realized that i love her too much, for her not to be a part of my life, even as friends...so i returned and apologized and asked if we can start over - which she gladly accepted. She missed me din daw.

    About letting her know my feelings - Maybe its not "entirely" about getting her back. Its more of just wanting her to know that i will always be here for her NO MATTER WHAT (i.e., lokohin ng bf niya, iwan siya, anakan siya etc.). Unrequited love is such a b!tch but sabi nga ng kanta 'SO LET THE PAIN REMAIN FOREVER IN MY HEART".

    Why it didnt worked out? its just too complicated. We were friends, and i fell for her, and she didnt know if she can return the kind of love..and we drifted apart for some reason...and just found out she had a bf.

    siguro i have this weird "MOVIE" notion that maybe if i wait, and be patient...MAYBE....JUST MAYBE.
  • So evidently, knowing that she has a bf is not enough for you. You need physical proof, kumbaga. Well dude, all I can say is if she hasn't come around yet, then maybe she won't come around at all. I think it's time you let your feelings for this girl go. Date around, enjoy being single coz almost every time, the one you want to be with won't want to be with you. Timing is a huge factor as well so who knows, maybe it'll be you and her in the future. Enjoy the present in the meantime, don't worry yourself to death over the things you have no control over and that make you unhappy.
  • The discomfort with "improperly" introducing you to her boyfriend is normal for someone who knows that the person he's introducing his bf to had and still have serious feelings for her. Girls usually care about a guy's feelings (even if some people think otherwise) and it's hard for us to say or do something that we know will eventually hurt the person.

    And as far as your notion goes, it's hard to let everything rest on maybes. There are so many things that can happen for you without relying on whatifs. The people that you meet in your life can potentially reciprocate the love that you have for someone who might never be yours all along.

    Sometimes, movies can be pretty deceiving. They portray things and events that usually happen in real life but more often than not, movies are just mere illusions of what people really want to happen in their lives. Movies are like a medium of mankind's hopelessness. Where the only place that can accommodate their dreams is the big screen, with artificial lights and scripted scenes.
  • wow, i have gotten more meaningful responses and insights here than from my friends...either that..theyve maxed out of this kind of talk with me.
  • from the looks of it, you love going around in circles. its actually just a straight line, you two didnt work out, she is with someone else now. there is no need for you lurking around and hoping she would realise that you have feelings for her. in here eyes, you are just a friend. it is afterall what you asked for when you apologised to her. friendship is friendship, it doesnt mean, i have feelings for you, that won't be "friendship" anymore.

    and trust me, she knows that you have feelings for her.
  • ok, how come it is so hard to accept it? She's just the woman of my dreams. I practically daydream about us doing anything. Its like ive pinned my hopes for her, that she is my future wife.

    Ok, i stomped on my pride and offered friendship but only because i dont want to lose her in my life. But somehow, friendship just isnt going to be enough. Its just that i have to learn and control myself and put it in my head that - "this is as far as it goes".

    OK, i have heard of it before, that im going on circles talaga about this.

    Ok, Do you think she really knows I still have feelings for her? i suppose girls should immediately sense this. And i guess she's being nice to me.
  • you're just making it hard for yourself. she has moved on with her life and so should you. since alam mong may bf sha...why do you still wana hang around? para pahirapan sarili mo? :shrug:
  • why don't you level with her?... tell her ... how you feel and all....lahat-lahat... basta be ready on her reaction... tapos from there, you would know and then closure... para maka-move on ka na.... sayang kasi, you have so much love in you and you have to find someone who will appreciate and love you back - just the way you like it!!!
  • You sound like a soft a_ss punk. No wonder you don't get any. Many chicks dig men that don't hound them or worship them. Just find your pride in what you do and women will flock to you. They love guys who are confident, who show their pride in their work and in their output. Soft, sensitive, ghey crap don't mean sh!t.
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