Attachment Parenting (AP)

tina11

Attachment parenting a parenting style that espouses sensitivity to your child's needs. This term was popularized by Dr. Bill Sears who teaches the following AP concepts: babywearing, extended breastfeeding, and co-sleeping. Together with his wife Martha, Dr. Sears has raised 8 kids (some adopted) and written the bestselling Baby Book (which has the best chapters on baby development among all the parenting books I've read).

But AP really isn't anything new or radical. And you can feed your baby formula, put him to sleep in a crib, and prefer strollers over slings but still be an attached parent. How? I think the most important concept in AP is to trust your own instincts. If you want to pick up and comfort your crying baby, do so even if others say you're spoiling him. This doesn't mean that your child will never cry or throw a tantrum - but he will never cry just because you spanked him out of anger, and he will never be left alone to cry to sleep (one thing that definitely doesn't fit in with AP is the cry-it-out method used to "train" babies to sleep).

Are you an attached parent? Do you think AP is beneficial to babies and children?

More information about AP at these links:
THE 7 BABY B'S
WHAT ATTACHMENT PARENTING IS NOT
Is Science Catching Up to Mother's Wisdom?

killerabs

hi tina11, i practice attachment parenting, glad you posted something about it. Mommies can also visit [url]www.askdrsears.com:-[/url])

sneezy

tina11, attached parent here.
I can say that it's really beneficial for me!
The Dr. Sears books definitely helped me trust myself more when it comes to parenting especially since I have ZERO experience in taking care of babies.
I agree with Sears when he says that it may sound difficult and is actually quite difficult at first but it gets so much easier in the long run.

DaNa8

Me three! I still breastfeed my 29-month-old son and I can say that it helped us a lot. I see a happy, healthy and confident baby when I look at Riel.

toxic_nips

attached parent here!! although i don't breastfeed my son anymore, it doesn't mean i'm not connected to him. we still co-sleep once in a while, i listen whenever he cries and learned to differentiate his cries and i have proven that even if you carry your child often, you don't spoil him at all. they just need your warmth and care and just your presence.

it really boils down to instinct and listening to your child.

thanks for the links!! great help and insight too,

tina11

I agree toxic, if studies show that premature infants benefit from being touched, massaged, and carried, siguradong beneficial din ang pagkarga sa mga full-term babies. It's comforting and reassuring for them

msbles

Proudly attached. It has its disadvantages, I must admit (haven't been alone longer than three hours for two years already, and I have to smuggle Josh into the hospital when I give birth to new baby) but such minor inconveniences are worthless compared to having a very healthy, intelligent, affectionate, secure, well-behaved and OBEDIENT two-year-old. (Yeah, I'm bragging. Wouldn't you? ) Breastfeeding and all that hugging really works!

fayina

tama, tama, tama...napakaikling panahon lang natin magagawa ang mga ganitong bagay sa ating mga anak, tulad ng ipag-hele sila...baka sa pagtanda nila, maaaring ang mga bagay na ito ay hindi na natin pwedeng gawin para sa kanila...minsan lang maging sanggol ang ating mga anak kaya gawin na natin ang lahat ng bagay na alam natin para maiparamdam natin sa kanilang mahal na mahal natin sila...ang pag-aralan kung anong gagawin sa iba't ibang klaseng iyak ng ating mga anak ay nakakapagbigay sa kanila ng malinaw na konsepto na masarap mabuhay...magtiwala sa ating mga magulang na gagawin natin ang lahat para pagandahin at pasayahin ang buhay para sa kanila...huwag nating antayin na sa pagtanda nila ay pagsisihan natin kung bakit ba hindi natin nagawa ito sa kanila noong mga sanggol pa sila...yan kasi ang nararamdamn ng mama ko sa ngayon, kaya lahat ng mga panghihinayang niya sa mga panahon noong mga sanggol pa kami ay pilit niyang binabawi sa mga apo niya...

peeyaa_ganda

i am sooo one of it. I'm a yayaless mommy and a work at home nanay I hold my migoy almost everytym he is awake... tulog, banyo. at kain lng ang pahinga hehe

sweetwahm

My baby is 20 months old and I still use my sling! (Thanks killerabs) AP parent here!

tina11

fayina wrote:

yan kasi ang nararamdamn ng mama ko sa ngayon, kaya lahat ng mga panghihinayang niya sa mga panahon noong mga sanggol pa kami ay pilit niyang binabawi sa mga apo niya...

True fayina, kaya siguro grandparents tend to pamper their beloved apo's. They realize how important it is to cuddle and hug babies, and how fleeting these childhood years are

avonlea

i haven't bought a single book about babies/parenting... i just rely on what i read on the internet... in my case, i've been criticized a lot of times for carrying my son a lot and tending to his needs ASAP when he cries... people around me had said so many times that i'm spoiling my baby... that i'm not following tradition and i'm a textbook parent... i just tell them that "based on new research, you can't spoil your baby younger than 6 months"... and i'd rather blame myself for any mistake that i might do when it comes to parenting...

elzsea

i am an attached parent myself, i think it's really beneficial both for me and my baby and there's never a single regret that i felt for being a SAHM which gives me more opportunity to practice attachment parenting.

toxic_nips

i have never been out on gimmiks for the past year or so and honestly i don't miss it at all. i would rather spend all my time with my son and do everything together. and i couldn't be happier. i love being an attached parent!!

DaNa8

^^^
Me too. Bihirang-bihira na ko lumabas since I had Riel. I haven't had any alcoholic drink too since I got pregnant because I still breastfeed him.

tina11

DaNa wow, that's more than 3 years!

avonlea I read a lot of books because I'm very insecure about my baby care knowledge but you're right, I would rather trust my instincts rather than listen to advice like this: "It's ok if she cries, she won't die from crying!" Midwife pa ang nagsabi niyan

killerabs

avonlea wrote:

i haven't bought a single book about babies/parenting... i just rely on what i read on the internet... in my case, i've been criticized a lot of times for carrying my son a lot and tending to his needs ASAP when he cries... people around me had said so many times that i'm spoiling my baby... that i'm not following tradition and i'm a textbook parent... i just tell them that "based on new research, you can't spoil your baby younger than 6 months"... and i'd rather blame myself for any mistake that i might do when it comes to parenting...

so true that's my parenting philosophy din, trust my instincts*okay*, because i have to live with my decisions, the people who tell me i'm spoiling my baby, that i should spank him once in a while, don't have to live with the consequences.

really attachment parenting is the best philosophy to practise because at its heart is the maxim that to raise a happy healthy baby you just have to create a good relationship with him, simple lang naman:)

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tina11

I really loved this interview with Noah Wyle and his wife. Their enthusiasm for AP is admirable and their confidence that they made the right choices is contagious
http://www.drjaygordon.com/

anacabs9

Attached parent here too! out of all the baby books given to me, Baby book by Dr. Sears seems to fit our Filipino style of parenting as oppossed to the "let-him-cry-it-out" method in western cultures. i just love being with my baby, and i can see that she loves being with me too! its such a joy to see her happy face everyday and the way she flaps her arms in delight upon seeing me or her dad when he comes home from work!

tina11

^True, most Filipino parents are sensitive to their kids' needs and are naturally attached parents

Here's an article on how attached babies become more secure, confident adults and have better relationships. I don't agree with everything in the article but it's a good read nonetheless

Contrary to the popular American myth that people left to fend for themselves become strong and independent, the psychological research seems to show exactly the opposite is true: It is the people who are confident enough to reach out to others for help -- and to whom help is given -- who become truly capable of independence.

Like those crying infants in Simpson's study who turned to their mothers for support and, once comforted, resumed their explorations of the world, Feeney found that romantic partners similarly become more independent once their emotional needs are met.

"It is a lot easier for people to take risks and accept challenges when they know someone is available to help them and comfort them if something goes wrong," Feeney said. "The most secure individuals are able to turn to other people for support."