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to the guyz...

i have a question to the guyz,,, anung reaction niyo pag may isang girl na friend niyo gusto niyo man o hindi told you na gusto ka nila... i have this thing about guys kasi na feeling ko pagnangyari yun eh mababa na ang tingin nila sayo or nakakaturn off ang mga ganuung bagay. worse is sasabihin pa nila sa mga friends niya...please enlighten me...

Comments

  • collegestudent: Is he one of your (close) friends? It really depends on the attitude of the guy - on how he's going to deal with such "unusual" act.

    Just want to open up. I can't help but share it...

    I had such experience too. Four years ago, when we were still freshmen students...
    Sa barkada namin nun, siya lang yung isang babae. It's not that she (just) wants to go with boys but I think she find us comfortable as companions and she's close with the other guy in our group. well, she's not close (then) with the other girls in the class too. (they were like 6 girls in the class that time... konti noh?)
    At first, tinutukso tukso ako nung ka-close nya sa barkada namin sa kanya. I thought it was all a joke but one day she suddenly talked to me and said that... "crush kita... i like you". I was surprised at that particular instance 'coz I didn't actually expect her to do that. She really looked very serious that rainy day and all I did was just smile and said, "ah talaga?" (nahihiya kasi ako din nun). I was so cautious as to what I should say 'coz I really felt awkward that time. Iba yung pakiramdam - 'di mo alam kung ano ba ang dapat gawin para 'di naman din sya mapahiya o ma-offend. But then, after that day, it was her that's avoiding me. 'Di na sya parati sumasama. I thought our friendship would end just because of that, but it didn't.

    After four years, we're still friends. Kahit 4 na lang kaming natira sa barkada. (Nawala na yung 2, lumipat na ng school). On my part, I don't think doing such thing will make a girl inferior or "mababang klase". I think she was just open to me when she said that she "likes" me. And I think it really depends on how the girl will tell - the manner of how she tells it. On my case, she didn't tell it to me in a flirting manner. She told it to me in a calm way.

    Though I also felt guilty because I seemed to have shown impassive attitude for "ignoring" such feelings to me. But what will I do? I cannot force myself to like somebody out of the reason that she likes me.
  • I understand the ladies' feelings of being "prohibited" in saying their (personal) feelings towards us guys because it's not our (society's) norm. It's like what you should say should be limited to "this" and should not exceed "that" out of the reason of the conservative "it's-not-proper-for-a-girl-to-do-that" principle.
    But then, as a guy, it's ok as long as it's properly done, and in a way that you will not look "cheap". Also, on the guys' part, the level of maturity and open-mindedness of that man should also be considered.
  • collegestudentcollegestudent PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    hi... thnx for sharing... kasi i also had an experience but nasabi ko siya dahil nalasing kaming dalawa. honestly kung hindi naman nangyari un hindi ko tlga sasabihin dahil alam kung maapektuhan ang friendship namin.. sobrang recent lang nangyari to and now im really trying so hard na wag umiwas and act as the same as before...
  • So what's his reaction? Are there any changes after what happened?
  • collegestudentcollegestudent PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    hmmm obvious naman hindi na pwedeng bumalik ung dati i mean a part of it natuwa ako atleast nangyari un but sometimes naiisip ko sana hindi nalang... nung isang time sabi ko akyat kami sakanila umalis siya then after nung show akala niya siguro umalis na kami tska siya bumalik... pero hindi ko rin siya masisi... ako deadma lang un naman lagi kong ginagawa eh...and un nga nalaman ko from a friend na sinabi niya na alam niyang may gnung mangyayari sana hindi na lang siya sumama... i mean hindi ko naman plinano na mangyari un... iniisip kung kausapin siya ung matinong usap walang alcohol para maexplain ko sa kanya ng maayos or hindi na siya necessary??? hayaan ko na lang b???
  • Well, if that's the (current) case, you cannot force him to talk with you since it's already him who is avoiding you.

    'Di mo rin kasi sya masisisi dahil iba kasi yung dating kapag ganun yung paraan ng pagsasabi. At 'di rin naman kita masisisi kasi 'di mo naman sinadyang sabihin sa kanya iyon.

    Siguro nahihiya lang din s'ya sa iyo kaya ka niya iniiwasan. Kasi kung ako 'yun, ganun din gagawin ko hindi dahil galit ako, kasi hindi ko alam kung paano ko gagawing normal (o tulad ng dati) ang pakikitungo ko sa iyo. Kasi bilang isang lalake, gusto ko hindi ka napapahiya, dahil babae ka. At alam naman nating lahat na 'kakaiba' yung ganun klaseng pangyayari at hindi ito inaasahan na gawin ng isang babae. Siguro naisip niyang paraan (ang umiwas) para palipasin lang sa isip niyong dalawa yung nangyari. Sabi nga ng iba, "Lilipas din yan."

    Sa ngayon, ang kailangan mo lang gawin ay hayaan mo na muna siya sa ninanais niyang mangyari, kung anuman iyon. Pero ipakita mo pa rin sa kanya na isa kang kaibigan (tulad ng dati) na naririyan kung kailangan ka niya. Hindi maglalao't babalik din yung dati niyong relasyon bilang magkaibigan. Hindi ba't sinabi mo naman na magkaibigan kayo? Kung kaibigan ang tingin niya sa iyo, hindi niya hahayaan na mawala iyon ng dahil lamang sa nangyari. Kung tutuusin, mapalad siya dahil mayroon siyang kaibigan na nagmamahal sa kanya. :)
  • collegestudentcollegestudent PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    napakalalim naman nun... hmmm got your point...

    nakapagusap kami ng matino kasi nangyari un siguro mga 2am sinabi niya na walang magbabago... tapos nakapagusap ulit kami ng mga 5am hanggang sa may araw na... hindi ko na naalalang ibring up sa kanya ung nangyari nung tipsy pa kami since nagopen siya ng personal problem... sinabi ko naman sa kanya ill be his friend and ate.. oo nga pala mas matanda ako saknya... twice ko na siyang nakitang umiyak and hindi siya ung taong nag-oopen up kahit kanino... i guess our friendship really means a lot... alam ko sakin lang siya nakapagopen up ng ganun... pero pagnagkakasalubong namn kami tulad kanina hi hello parin as in parang walang nangyari its a good thing narin... haaaaay feeling ko sama ng ginawa ko ayoko kasing nababahala ang isang tao dahil sakin eh...

    oo nga pala thanks sa advise mo...:)
  • kung gusto ko yung girl syempre mas maganda, parang open portal na yun eh...
    pero pag ayaw ko...syempre kailangan i clarify ko agad na friends lang kami in a nice way para hindi naman sya mailang...siguro dadaanin ko na lang sa biro na mas masarap ako pag ginawang nilaga...hehehe
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