Home PEx Relationships Love - Principles, Practices & Preferences

"long long distance love affairs!"

What makes up a relationship?
Love? Of course. But even the most passionate love relationships require an enormous sum of work, compromise, passion, passion, work, patience, a lot of patience, more patience, faith, passion, kindness and work. Not to mention occasional signs of sweetness, a series of constant constructive insults, and blah and blah.

When I say these things, I’m talking about normal love-hate relationships— those kinds with which the lovers in question aren’t thousands and thousands of miles apart. So, when distance comes into the picture, would these very elements suffice the potential life-long love affair? Hmmm….

Why be in a relationship?
Love? Well, that’s a given. When one is madly-crazily-insanely-and-dementedly in love, her immediate response is to plunge into “relationshipness”— with no care, no worries… just plain “happyfulness” and compulsiveness. Who can blame that person? Let love pass once and you’ll miss it forever, right? Right! A sure loss for the non-jumper.

You submerge yourself in deep commitment with the ultimate goal of being one— to go through your whole lives together soul in soul. Everyday you direct your path towards each other— discovering each other’s past, aspirations, laughter, tears, weirdness, strengths, weakness and even dumbness. You start rebuilding your life, with this person included in your daily must-haves. Gradually, with very tiny effort if not none at all, you learn to incorporate this creature into your so-called existence. A practice run of how your life would eventually become when the two of you officially bind your hearts in front of God. Nice.

But then… the unfortunate couples who, as if by the antagonizing power of the break-up devil, find themselves living across foreign seas, post this question…

“How will we start learning to live with each other when each morning, we adjust to living without each other?”

Sad.

Physicality is not all that makes up a lasting relationship.
Before we agree to this statement, let me first discuss the other essentialities that trail along with physicality.

As laid beforehand, couples enter into relationships with high hopes of forever spending their everydays together. They make amends every single waking day, adjusting to the other’s needs, wants, don’t wants and so on. Mannerisms, facial expressions, hand gestures, quirks, hygiene, eating patterns, driving maneuvers, daily must-dos, sleeping patterns, money spending, language usage, walking rhythms, vanity, punctuality, dance moves, singing ability, sports activeness, circle of friends, spirituality, etc.

Initially, these may seem shallow but these are the very factors that define your significant other. All these things = who he is. And these are the very things you will have to adjust to if you choose to spend the rest of your dear life with that person. Adjusting, of course, will take forever and it will require hard work, close observation and practice runs. Togetherness, in physical means, makes these adjustments possible.

Apart, what couples adjust to are the heart-attacking-money-spending in overly expensive phone bills, far too much radiation due to prolonged cellphone usage, almost sleepless nights waiting-for-dawn-on-the-other-side-of-the-planet and so on. You start to focus on these things rather than paying attention to the one who you do these things for. You start to grow— abandoned of real interaction, affection and comfort. Everyday, you lose grip of what’s important in your relationship. You start getting used to the feeling of being without that person. You start forgetting the feeling and eventually start unwanting the feeling. Thus, the fall of the so-called love affair.

I have often wondered why people prefer this kind of sorrow. Actual torment. Agony in the plainest sense. I have never believed in long distance relationships. I am a save-yourself kind of a person. I want it easy. I want it light. I want it not long distance.

Then I met him. Then I found love in him. Then I realized…

if long distance means taking the chance of being in this moment again,
of dancing slow through the music of sweet nothingness,
of embracing this overflowing affection,
of kissing my fears goodbye as I get lost in his touch,
of seeing my whole life through his worry-free sparkling eyes,
of feeling his breath as he whispers forever in my ears,

Then I’m a convert… Then I’m a believer.

Why go through long distance relationships? Because you’ll never know… it just might be your last ticket aboard never ending happiness. As for me, I’d rather take that lift than stray around forever.


just sharing :)

Comments

  • orangepinkorangepink PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    haaay naku dami na threads about LDR and I always say this : nasa inyo lang yan kung kakayanin niyo o hindi. Walang magic formula or average time limit ang LDR. Meron iba 5 yrs LDR and going strong. Iba naman in less than 4 months, hiwalay na. Kanya-kanya lang yan.
  • yeah depende lang yan, depende lang kung mabubuking ung isang gumagawa ng kalokohan.. normal na merong isa na medyo matutukso dahil nga magkalayo e, pero yung love di yon nawawala...pero di rin maiiwasan ang tukso... kung di mabubuking ok lang tatagal... pero pag nabuking patay ka!! at mas masakit kung mabaling yung love nung isa sa iba...
Sign In or Register to comment.