Home PEx Family and Society Family, Friends and Society

My Friend is a HABITUAL LIAR, can't take it anymore, got tired of it & left her...

i have a friend, let's call her ela. i just met her june last year thru my closest gurl friend. she was so cool, mabait, giving, caring, maalaga, sweet...and she'll fight for you, no matter what. she taught us a lot of insights about life especially about love (since my gurl fwend and i were newbies when it comes to relationships...). we're like a TRIO :)

she told me, she was traumatized coz whenever she gets close na sa friends, they usually leave her. and i'm like, WHY???? :confused: we stayed close until i had my first boyfriend (she helped us to get together, by the way)...this guy is the younger brother of my closest gurlfriend (at that time). when my boyfriend and i broke up last February, she was there to back me up and all.

she tried to bring back the friendship between me and my gurl best friend, coz obviously we had conflicts and all that. my gurl best friend and i never talked. kasi nag-kakailangan, nahihiya siya sakin with what his brother has done to me etc....so ela was the bridge or sumthin.

i decided to talk to my gurl best friend..confronted her...and we discovered ang daming hindi naman sinabi nang isa.ela had good intentions kaya lang masyadon siyang exeggerated and every story na nakakarating samin eh may dagdag/kulang...and it made our situation worse...

and we realized na, hindi lang siya dun nag-lie pati sa mga lil stuff about life...like her having these stuff, her connection with popular elite people, her contacts with VIP people when it comes to work...basta!

what will i do when i bump into her somewhere???? i'll definitely see her coz we live in the same area and hang around sa same places...what will i say??? :confused: i dont want to be rude naman...but i don't want to be plastic or sumthin....

Comments

  • Maybe you should at least say hello. Kahit paano may pinagsamahan naman kayo, kahit sabihing puro lies pala.

    Siguro naman, if you give her a polite hello, she'll get the drift that you're being cool but distant. She might even wonder why and start cross-examining herself.

    Well, I hope... :)
  • QuentinQuentin PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    close your lips and smile?

    <Quentin ... baka naman me totoong contact sha ke Andrea Corr ... ehhh>

    honestly sis, staying away wouldn't be a solution. perhaps ... some more tolerance. if you can't give that, then ... ask deli ... :D
  • Originally posted by BabyFATS
    Maybe you should at least say hello. Kahit paano may pinagsamahan naman kayo, kahit sabihing puro lies pala.

    Siguro naman, if you give her a polite hello, she'll get the drift that you're being cool but distant. She might even wonder why and start cross-examining herself.

    Well, I hope... :)

    kaya lang, i know susunggaban ako ng hus and kisses nun eh...kasi she's like that...feeling niya there's nuthing wrong...in denial...
    and besides sis, i think she doesn't know that she is a Habitual Liar...parang akala niya, normal lang ata yun eh...kasi pati mga siblings niya aware sa problemang yun eh :( hayy, pano ba to?
  • Originally posted by Quentin
    close your lips and smile?

    <Quentin ... baka naman me totoong contact sha ke Andrea Corr ... ehhh>

    honestly sis, staying away wouldn't be a solution. perhaps ... some more tolerance. if you can't give that, then ... ask deli ... :D

    wahahaha :lol: over naman kung si Andrea Corr, baliw na siya nun :D

    tolerance? yahn know, she's okay...okay kasama, friend...kaya lang talagang liar sa mga small stuff. okay lang kung sa small stuff pero kung katulda ng nangyari samin ng closest gurl frend ko...hello???
    why ask ate mec??? :confused:

  • QuentinQuentin PEx Veteran ⭐⭐
    it is possible that she could give a more sound advice. i can only theorize kasi eh.

    siguro you can just make a funny note on her ... to ease tensions. lam mo na, if she's gonna lie on somebody, make sure everybody's there ... :D
  • oo nga. i'll make sure, maraming witness, if ever :)
    haaayyyy...
  • sis...

    say hello
    keep her at least for the fun and company
    don't put too much faith on her words
    don't depend on other people to pose as a bridge for you

    delisyus kisses quentin on the forehead....(sis, you really sounded older kanina)
  • at least voice ko, well-developed na...pati...
    brains at body ko :D

    okay i'll do that ate :) daming beses na kasi ako nagkandaleche leche dahil sa kanya eh...oh well...
  • Originally posted by winterswirl
    kaya lang, i know susunggaban ako ng hus and kisses nun eh...kasi she's like that...feeling niya there's nuthing wrong...in denial...
    and besides sis, i think she doesn't know that she is a Habitual Liar...parang akala niya, normal lang ata yun eh...kasi pati mga siblings niya aware sa problemang yun eh :( hayy, pano ba to?

    Then that's better! Habang mega-sunggab sya, you wear this "sino-ka-ok-ka-lang?" look on your face. If that doesn't wake her up, then telling her off would be best. At least compared to ignoring her completely. Or maybe you can write her a letter gently telling her how you hate her guts and her lying cheating face! :lol:

    Face it, she considers you a friend. Maybe you can be a friend by being mildly brutal. After all, habitually lying is nowhere near normal. ;)
  • sis...basta say hello man lang. you don't have to stay with her all night naman. make sure na lang na you're with someone she doesn't know para she'll get the idea na nde kayo pwede mag-chummy chummy. :D

    aside...
    kelan ko ba ikaw mami-meet? akala ko last nyt punta kang kr eb eh... :)
  • kaya lang bawal ako mag-pagod and puyat after what happened last friday--hospital and all...so yun...we'll have our time...next week, k? :D muwah!

    thanks for the inputs...sana magpost pa kayo :D
  • we had a friend like that before... and it was really frustrating... we continued being all chummy with him but we ask him some biting questions once in a while like.. "nakausap ko si ms. ganito, a... di ka naman daw nya kilala" or "o... asan na yung ganito? akala namin meron ka nun?"... halatang napapahiya sya everytime we do that... bigla syang naging "busy" every time we invited him after that... s'all good coz who needs friends who will just lie to you?

    depends really on what you really want from this relationship... if you just want to get rid of her- try the "panama style"... and hope that she gets the message (and maybe matamaan nga sya- she'll change her ways)... but if you feel really attached to this girl then you owe it to yourself to just confront her with the lies she's been giving you... demand an explanation why she has to lie to someone who's supposed to be a "friend"...
  • tamisguytamisguy PEx Rookie ⭐
    There are some people that lie in order for them to feel accepted. They don't feel adequate enough being themselves, so they make up this new and "improve" persona of themselves not realizing they're doing more damage than good. As time passes by, somehow those lies become their truth and the cycle goes on. I'm not sure what kind of treatment or help they need in order to break the cycle. Thus, they should be pitited not shun upon. You know why, coz if they feel more rejected then the lies will become worst coz that's the only way they know how to get accepted. So instead of totally turning your back on her, just humor her. Saying hi or spending a short time with her every now and then won't be being "plastic". Your simply being her friend still even with all the lies. Trust me. You'll feel better trying to make her feel good about herself than if you just simply turn your back at her and make her feel rejected. As the others have said, just don't rely on her anymore, but still be there as a friend.
    Lovayababy.................:sweet:
  • babyfats: ah ganun ba? sino-ka-ok-ka-lang look? :D hihi, ano ba yun....well, it will be hard to ignore that girl kasi hyper and malambing yun...and i really think hindi niya alam na ganun magiging effect niya...she needs help besides us accepting her...sabi nga ng isang friend ko, malala na siya....:(
    thanks for the input sis, luv yah :love:
  • Originally posted by waffledish
    but if you feel really attached to this girl then you owe it to yourself to just confront her with the lies she's been giving you... demand an explanation why she has to lie to someone who's supposed to be a "friend"...

    i can live w/o her naman ( or i'm just kaya lang she taught me a lot in life, she made me happy for sometime kahiy Habitual Liar siya...and i do believe i made her happy coz it kept her hopes high na may friend pa siyang natitira at tatagal..then i left her...kasi naman, her lying went over the border line...kasi pati friend ko, nadamay...pinaasa niya dun sa job na my guy best friend really needed....wala naman pala siya talagang connections...so yung dapat na break na makuha ng friend ko doing on his own, slipped away kasi we chose to rely on her...:( hay naku! my mom told me nga na iwasan na nga daw...friends but not that soooo close and chummy like before...kasi napapahamak ako eh..:( it's just so sad pagnaaalala ko...last time we talked siguro mga may 2000. she kept textng and calling me at home, i didn't respond :~(
    haaayyyyy...
  • Originally posted by tamisguy
    There are some people that lie in order for them to feel accepted. They don't feel adequate enough being themselves, so they make up this new and "improve" persona of themselves not realizing they're doing more damage than good. As time passes by, somehow those lies become their truth and the cycle goes on. I'm not sure what kind of treatment or help they need in order to break the cycle. Thus, they should be pitited not shun upon.
    i know that, but i accept her for whatever she is. but then her lies just affected me and people that who are precious to me...i was never doubtful of her...except the time i confronted my other girlfriend i had conflict with...:(
    You know why, coz if they feel more rejected then the lies will become worst coz that's the only way they know how to get accepted. So instead of totally turning your back on her, just humor her. Saying hi or spending a short time with her every now and then won't be being "plastic". Your simply being her friend still even with all the lies.
    okay :)
    Trust me. You'll feel better trying to make her feel good about herself than if you just simply turn your back at her and make her feel rejected. As the others have said, just don't rely on her anymore, but still be there as a friend.
    Lovayababy.................:sweet:
    i'll really try baby...kasi napahamak ako twice BIG TIME because she invented stuff i said and the other person too---so yun...though i know i shouldn't just rely on what she says, sometimes kasi since friend mo siya, you believe her in a way...i forget na she lies halos everytime nga pala...:( when i see her, or when i'm ready na...i'll do that hanging out thang :) i luv yah too :sweet: thank you :)
  • hi winterswirl!

    you know, i was in the almost same exact situation when i was a freshman in college. my best friend and i hung out all the time, did things everyday together and talked about everything under the sun. then out of the blue, she befriends this girl who seemed nice and genuine.

    so the duo became a trio. and it was great! for a while. before she started acting weird on us.

    it was as if she was trying to get inbetween me and my best friend. like she was jealous of the relationship we have. and seeing her trying to subtly get inbetween us was a little turn-off. and she had these little annoying habbits, like "borrowing" our clothes/things and never returning them, "borrowing" money and never paying us back, etc.

    my best friend and i talked about it and we tried to not think too much about it. but it really got out off hand! there was nothing left for us to do but let her know, slowly but surely that we did not appreciate her efforts.

    next semester, we made it clear that we were fine without her. it was a little harsh, i admit. but what else could we do? we literally had it up over our ears with her!

    it's a little strange seeing her on campus still. we say the poilte "hi" and smile, make little chit chat once in a while. but we're not the friends we were before.

    do i regret it? yeah. sometimes. cause there were times when we really got along. but when i look back at all the other things she's done, i'm glad my best friend and i did what we did. afterall, frienship isn't an obligation. you either get along with people or you don't.
  • it was so nice of you to share your experience similar to mine...:) as long as you are happy & you didn't step on anyone, then you made a good decision...:)
Sign In or Register to comment.